Tears Come At Night
by QueenAdreena
Summary: .::Such beautiful dignity is self abuse::. Meet the introverted side of Selphie Tilmitt. With a razor in one hand and her heart in the other, it's only a matter of time before she falls apart at the seams. . .
1. False Comforts

**A/N:**Hey there. This story isn't really set at any particular time during the game, so let's just let it lie. This fic is going to be quite deep and very angsty, dealing with some distressing matters in later chapters. Hope you enjoy it though! Please read and review. X x X

**_'Tears come at night; smiles come during the day . . . .'_**

It was a hot and stuffy night, and even though the window was open in Selphies pokey dorm room, she couldn't feel any of the night breezes getting to her.

She kicked off her pale yellow duvet until it was almost on the floor, and sat staring up at the ceiling. Night after night she'd been like this, weary but unable to sleep. Every morning, painting on a smile, putting on a bubbly act, just to please those around her.

Selphie dorm was next door to Zell's. Girls and boys dorms were across the hall from each other, so there wasn't too much separation of the sexes.

Realising she wasn't going to sleep tonight; she sat up and swung her legs over the side of her bed, making it creak a little. She didn't know what to do with herself. Feelings of tiredness overcame her again, but she knew trying to sleep was no good.

Selphie put it down to insomnia . . . and those girls.

Lately, a group of girls who had transferred to Balamb Garden from Galbadia Garden had begun to pick on Selphie about anything and everything. They'd also started up nasty rumours and made Irvine more distant with her by taking him away and becoming his worshippers.

Irvine spoke to Selphie less and less these days. She missed him.

A tear formed in the corner of her eye and she caught it just before it rolled down her cheek. She couldn't help but remember when they used to be inseparable and when they used to cry with laughter. Now, it was only tears of sadness that filled her eyes nearly every night.

Before she knew it, they were spilling down her face and landing on her old nightshirt. She picked up her toy penguin, which Irvine had brought her, and stared at it through watery eyes. The small fluffy penguin held a red heart in the middle of its chest with embroidered letters saying '_cutest girl in the world_'.

Selphie almost threw it across the room, but instead changed her mind and hugged it to her chest.

Drying her eyes, she got up and walked to the door. The floor was freezing on her bare feet, so she hopped around a bit. Selphie stood staring out into the hallway, contemplating going into Zells room.

She'd done this for the past few nights and layed with Zell in his bed. Nothing went on. It was just like they used to do in the orphanage. Zell would often come into Selphies bed because of a nightmare. Now it was the other way round.

She wasn't sure if he was getting annoyed at her or not, but she found herself rapping lightly on his door anyway, pushed forward by the lonliness of her own room.

Zells eyes flickered open. Groaning, he flung his bed covers off and got up, quickly fetching his boxers and putting them on before answering the door. Not as if he didn't know who it was anyway.

Opening the door, he yawned and stretched before opening his eyes to look at Selphie.

Her light brown hair was slightly ruffled and her overly large white t shirt which served as a night shirt, was hanging off one shoulder. In her right hand, she clutched a small toy penguin with big cutesy eyes.

Zell knew she had been crying, but said nothing of it, as she'd only deny it anyway.

"Hey Selph. Come in."

Selphie stepped inside and Zell shut the door behind her.

"I didn't mean to come to you tonight, it's just, I can't sleep and I need a friend."

Zell ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"That's okay. Try and sleep alright?" he got into his bed and gestured for Selphie to follow.

She forced a smile and got in, turning over so her back was facing him. It was warm in his bed and smelt of him, which was some sort of aftershave mixed with a bubble gum kind of smell, probably his hair styling stuff.

It comforted Selphie but not enough for her to cheer up or go to sleep.

Again, without realising, she had begun to cry. Just little sobs, but this was enough for Zell to notice.

He could feel her body quaking next to his and hear her little sniffs.

Zell reached his arms around her waist and gave her a hug. At first, he was rather uncomfortable doing this, due to his near naked form, but then didn't care because Selphie was his friend and she needed comforting.

She felt slightly stupid, as if she was crying over nothing. She should've put on a brave face like always and told herself to get through it. But something had changed in her. She didn't want to pretend to be happy, she had to let someone know how she was feeling.

Selphie turned around and snuggled her face into Zells chest. He could feel her tears and eyelashes fluttering. She hugged him hard as her body hitched with each new wave of sorrow.

"Selphie . . . what's wrong? You've been like this for _ages_."

She didn't reply, so he just stroked her feathery hair and cradled her against him.

This wasn't like Selphie at all. What had happened to his bubbly bouncy girl who used to talk non stop and have a constant smile on her face?

Zell couldn't think of any reason for her to be so upset. Sure, he knew that Irvine wasn't with her as much, but he had told him that he was just a bit busy and still saw Selphie.

He didn't know about Irvine's new followers bullying Selphie.

Zell noticed Selphie had stopped crying. Looking down at her, he realised she had gone to sleep. He smiled and gently tried to move away so he could sleep, but she let out a small moan so he stayed hugging her, and finally fell asleep himself.


	2. Bitter little pill

**A/N: Thanks to my first two reviewers! Hope you keep coming back! . . .**

**_' ' Indicate thoughts, if you didn't realise . ._**

**__**

_'And I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand . . .'_

Selphie walked in through the doors of classroom 2F, her head reeling with worry of seeing her enemies. After placing herself at her workstation, she looked around at who was already in. These included Squall, Irvine and his followers, known as Celia, Amber, and Nichi and a few other people she didn't know too well.

Selphies stomach lurched when she saw the group of girls staring her into the ground.

Amber gave Selphie a look that would've made flowers wither, then she whispered something to the rest of the group, who leaned in, eager for more gossip and nastiness to fill their brains.

Celia, the Barbie doll of the group, burst out laughing and whispered whatever had been said, to Irvine.

He sniggered a little and looked over at Selphie.

She was looking at him, studying his features.

_'Was that a real laugh Irvy? Were you laughing at me?'_

Selphie turned away, feeling her confidence shatter and tears pricking at her eyes. All of his 'gang' were looking at her with cold stares or bitchy smirks.

Celia was the one who had started on Selphie in the first place. The ringleader if you like. She was supermodel tall, with bronzed skin and blue sparkling eyes complete with long fluttering eyelashes. Her long blonde hair was always shiny and fell in a cascade of waves down her back. If she had a nice personality to match, she would've been perfect, but she was, as they say, easy and had had more than a few one night stands.

The others were mostly the same, apart from Nichi, who was equally as bitchy, but had black straight hair to her shoulders and oddly pale blue eyes, which brought out her olive skin tone in a creepy way.

Selphie wasn't sure if she could put up with their evil glares all lesson. Irvine barely looked at her, apart from when she walked in. What hope had she of winning him back when Celia's lot were always breathing down his neck?

Someone tapped her on the shoulder, bringing her out of her thoughts.

It was Squall.

He stared down at her, "Hi. You came in after I'd told everyone but this is a free study lesson. You can revise whatever you want. We don't have an instructor today."

Selphie faked a smile and put on her happy-go-lucky attitude again.

"Whoo-hoo! So can I go?"

Squall saw Selphie already gathering her bag up, and he knew better than to get in her way when she'd made her mind up.

"Uh, well, you're not supposed to, but I'm not gonna tell."

"Thanks! See ya!"

Just as Selphie was almost out the door, Zell came walking in and she bumped into him, re-bounding onto the floor and landing hard on her bum.

Celia's lot burst out laughing.

"What a total** klutz!!!** Now we now what Irvy meant!" Celia shouted out while flicking about her blonde hair.

"I know!! What a **freak**!" Was said by Amber.

No-one seemed to hear them, or more likely, were too scared of them all to object.

Zell crouched down next to Selphie and put an arm around her to help her to her feet.

"I'm really sorry Selphie. Are you okay?"

Selphie shrugged him off, eager to get out before she heard anymore comments made. "I'm Fine."

As she rushed along the near empty corridor, her heels clattering and making echoes, Celia's words popped into her head.

'_Now we know what Irvy meant!_'

What was that supposed to mean? What had he said to them?

She was annoyed that they'd stolen her name for him and confused as to what words had been exchanged.

_'He only ever used to let me call him that . . .I thought I was special?'_

Selphie ran into the toilets, clutching her head and fighting back tears. She'd given herself a head ache through running so fast.

She put her bag down on the floor and turned on the tap. Cold water came gushing out of the faucet, and swirled in the basin before going down the plug hole.

Selphie splashed some on her face, enjoying the lingering refreshing feeling before she turned the tap off and took one of the paper towels to dry her face.

Looking in the mirror, she ran her fingers through her hair, then scowled. She felt so plain.

_'Huh. No wonder he went chasing after tall tanned blondes.'_

At that moment, the girls room door was pushed open, its old rusty hinges creaking and moaning in protest.

In stepped Celia, Nichi and Amber.

Selphie got butterflies in her stomach and began to sweat while being held in the steely glare of Celia.

Mumbling an 'Excuse me' she tried to push past the three girls.

Amber pushed Selphie back, not hard enough for her to fall, but hard enough for her to stumble backwards.

Selphies mouth had gone dry and she found it hard to speak or swallow.

"C-can you please move?" She stammered.

Celia laughed. This wasn't the first time she'd been cornered by the trio.

Selphie sighed and glared back at Celia.

"Who do you think you're looking at, you **ugly bitch**!"

"Just fucking get out of my way you _slut_!" Selphie suddenly burst with anger.

For a moment, Celia was caught off guard at her mood swing, but then regained her usual spiteful ways.

"It's not **my** fault that Irvy **screws us all** every night. He's great in bed isn't he? Oh no, I forgot, you didn't even get as far as _kissing_ him did you?"

The words hit Selphie like a bullet straight to her heart, but instead of feeling sadness, she lunged out at Celia, slapping her around the face so that all her blonde hair swung back.

Amber and Nichi stood there, mouths agape staring at their leader, waiting for what was going to happen next.

The blonde put a hand to her cheek and gave Selphie a belittling look.

"You're a crazy ugly **bitch** Selphie Tilmitt!"

Celia flew at Selphie, balling up her fist and bringing it back before giving her a full frontal punch in the face.

Selphie let out a yelp as her head knocked back and before she even had a chance to redeem herself, Nichi punched her in the gut and Amber kicked her in the shin.

Her breath whooshed out of her lungs as she was overcome with crippling pain. Falling backwards, she banged her head hard her head on the hand dryer behind her, making her feel worse.

Once on the floor, all three girls began kicking her in every place they could, hurling out words of abuse.

Selphie prayed that someone would come in, see all this going on and put a stop to it. But no one did.

Her vision was slowly getting bright white dots in front of it. Blinking didn't get rid of them. The pain from the beating she was receiving was making her feel faint.

Putting a hand to her face, she felt blood pouring out of her lip where Celia had punched her. Bringing her hand up to her face to look at the crimson mess was the last thing she saw along with the sound of the girl's footsteps walking away, before she passed out on the cold hard floor.

* * *

_'Uh. My head. Where am I?'_

Selphie tried to open her eyes, but was met by a brilliant whiteness that stilled her need to see.

"Quite a fall you had there, Miss Tilmitt."

_'Huh? Dr. Kadowaki?'_

Selphie then realised she must be in the infirmary. But she also knew she didn't fall from anywhere. She'd been beaten up.

Trying to get information out of the doctor, she pretended not to remember what happened.

"W-why am I here? Why do I hurt all over?"

Dr Kadowaki looked down at her through her specks.

"Hmm, partial memory loss. Don't worry; it should be gone in around 15 minutes of waking up."

Selphie repeated her questions.

"Ahh yes, some girls brought you in. Said you had a nasty tumble down the stairs and hit you're head. Ever so nice they were. You really shouldn't go running about everywhere, be more careful."

Selphie frowned but discovered that even that hurt. Trying to sit up she asked if she could leave.

"Well, you shouldn't, but if you wish to sleep in your own room, then go ahead. Oh but take two of these every four hours for the next 2 days."

The Dr placed a bottle of pills in Selphies hand and told her they were fast acting painkillers.

"Oh before you go, Selphie, how are you getting on with the anti-depressants?" Asked Dr Kadowaki.

Selphie sighed, hating being reminded that she had to take them.

"Fine, they're fine, I'm _fine_."

Swinging her legs off the bed, she placed them firmly on the floor and pushed herself up a little too fast, causing her head to reel. Her vision soon steadied itself though and she went off to go back to her dorm.

Along the corridors, she was fully aware that fellow students were staring and wondered what had happened to her. Then she remembered that she had said she would meet Zell in the cafeteria at 1:15. She glanced at her wristwatch. It was now 1:30.

'_Uhh, dammit!'_

She really didn't want to face the crowds that would be queuing up for lunch, but she also didn't want Zell to think badly of her, but then again she didn't want him to see her in such a state.

Selphie didn't want any of her friends to see her, but they would sooner or later, so she chose to get it over and done with.

Pushing open the heavy doors to the Cafeteria made the pain in her head start up again, hammering away at her brain like a persistent carpenter.

Selphie could feel people's eyes burning into her, but she didn't look at them, she put all her concentration into finding the familiar faces of her friends.

She spotted Squall and Rinoa in a corner table holding hands and talking.

_'Oh great, I can't go over there unless i'm a member of the Squall and Rinoa 'im-so-in-love' group.'_

Scanning more tables, she spotted Zell . . . sitting and laughing casually with Irvine.

Her world stood still. All the laughter and shouts of the lunch hour weren't bothering her anymore. Tilting her head to one side, she found she was mesmerised by Irvine laughing with her friend. She remembered how they used to sit there laughing like that and playing footsy under the table. She also remembered what Celia had said just before beating the crap out of her.

_"'It's not my fault that Irvy_ _**screws us all every night**_

_'How could he?'_

Selphie found her feet walking towards them and she was powerless to stop them.

When she reached the table, she stared at Irvine. You could tell he felt uncomfortable because he began shuffling around in his seat.

"Um, Hi Sefie."

Selphie got butterflies in her stomach when he called her that. It felt just like old days. But it wasn't, so she didn't answer him. Feeling a pang of emptiness when turning away from him, she looked at Zell and flashed him a smile.

"_Shit_ Selphie, what happened to you?"

Selphie hadn't thought of what to say yet. She'd actually forgotten that she had just been beaten on and must look terrible.

'_Oh you really wanna know?_' she thought to herself. _'I wonder what Irvine would say if I told him his sluts did this?'_

Selphie fiddled with a strand of smooth butterscotch brown hair.

"Oh, you know me; I finally collided with the ground, but fell down some stairs first."

_'Why didn't I tell the truth?!'_

Zell laughed a bit, which Selphie thought was a little insensitive of him. If Irvine wasn't sitting there, she probably would've had a go at Zell, but she didn't want to seem like a 'crazy bitch'.

"That must've hurt." Irvine piped up.

_'Not as much as you've hurt me, Irvine Kinneas.'_

"Yeah . . ."

She was aware she was sounding like Squall at this point, but she didn't trust herself to say any more to Irvine. She'd either end up shouting at him, or begging him to be her friend again.

After a minute of uneasy silence, Celia and her Barbie dolls walked in. When Irvine spotted them, he got a funny look in his eyes. Saying bye to Zell, he pushed past Selphie, making her flinch as he knocked one of her many bruises.

She sat down where Irvine had been sitting and apologised for being late.

Laying her head down on the table, she sighed deeply and shut her eyes.

Zell ruffled up her hair, playing with her.

"Don't. I'm not in the mood," she mumbled through her arms, still resting on them.

"Oh. Look, sorry he was over here, I know you're upset and all-,"

"You don't have to apologise Zell. I shouldn't be so obsessed anyway. He's found three new girls to screw." Selphie blurted out

Zell crumpled his face up.

"Huh? Who? Three? What, that blonde girl and the others that follow him? **Wow**. Lucky guy."

Selphie looked up at him in disgust, pushed her chair out violently, making it let out an awful screeching noise and stormed off.

Zell sat there bewildered for a moment, then realised his mistake.

* * *

Come back for more, All reviews appreciated!

X x X


	3. Jagged Edged pain

_**

* * *

**_

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews again! So, you wanna see a Zell/Selphie develop? Just say the words and i'll do it,! (I'm _that_ nice!)**

**Warning: Has some swearing and a scene of self injury.**

_**'When will people understand that words can cut as sharply as any blade, and that those cuts leave scars upon our souls?'**_

Selphie ran to her dorm room, even though every muscle in her body protested with each forced stride.

Opening her door, she threw her bag down and flung herself onto her bed, the springs creaking at the sudden weight.

She felt like crying, but no tears would come out. Breathing heavily from the running and sighing from her numerous aches and pains, she sat up and crossed her legs.

_'Why did he seem so happy when he saw Celia? sigh Makes sense I suppose. He swapped plain old me for a couple of supermodel bimbos.'_

Selphie still felt numb from all that had happened today. She got up from her bed and switched on the radio, hoping it would take her mind off things.

No Doubt's 'Don't Speak' began to play. She went back to her bed and flopped down onto it, shutting her eyes.

_You and me,_

_We used to be together,_

_Every day together, always._

_I really feel like I'm losing my best friend,_

_I can't believe this could be the end . . ._

Selphie began to cry whilst listening to the words of the song. She hugged her toy penguin close to her heart. It was true that she just couldn't function without Irvine. Even though they weren't a couple, Selphie had held high hopes for them getting together. Every one said that he liked her alot, but then one day, Celia began getting friendly with him and that's when it all started. He'd ignore Selphie at lunch and sit on Celia's table. When Selphie arranged to go out, he'd never turn up and then later she'd find out that he'd been out with 'that lot'. That's when she got depressed, and had been put on anti depressants. She had her other friends, but even they seemed distant half the time. Rinoa and Squall were all loved up and only saw each other half the time, Quistis was back teaching and didn't have time to meet up. Selphie even felt that Zell was probably getting fed up of her coming in his bed, even though he always welcomed her and ended up hugging her to sleep.

As she was sobbing into her pillow, she felt something underneath it, digging upwards.

_'Huh? What's this?'_

Getting hold of whatever it was, she pulled it out and held it in front of her face.

Blinking tears rapidly out of her eyes to focus, she instantly wished she hadn't, for what she held in her hand was a Polaroid photo.

It was of Irvine and Celia . . . kissing in an embrace. She told herself to not look at it, get rid of it, burn it, rip it up and throw it in the bin. But she couldn't take her eyes away from it. They were glued to it, telling her to look even though every second she drank in the image it hurt her more and more.

Someone had broken into her dorm room (which wasn't hard, seeing as she never locked up) and deliberately placed this under her pillow for her to find. She suspected it was Amber or Nichi, after all, who else would take a picture of the two just to hurt her?

Selphie cried so hard that she thought she was going to throw up. She could hardly breathe because her heart felt broken in two.

She ran into the bathroom and heaved over the toilet. Nothing came up. She wiped her mouth and fell down onto the floor, still crying violently.

Reaching across from her, she opened the bathroom cupboard and searched around for her razor heads. Finding one, she brought it out and stared at the shiny cold metal edge.

She placed the razor above her wrist but couldn't bring herself to do it.

Instead, she took it further up her right arm. Pressing it deep into her, she slashed it quickly across her pale skin. Almost instantly, deep red liquid began to seep out and run down her arm.

It stung a little, but the sight of it flowing calmed her down. She stopped crying and dabbed at it with her hand. The deep gash she had made filled up again and spilled over the side of her arm. She looked at the bloody razor in her hand, brought it up above the first cut and pressed it into her skin again, but not as deep.

Selphie began to wonder if she'd need stitches. She wouldn't go to the infirmary even if she did. Both cuts she had made were about an inch and a half long. The first one was quite deep. Deep enough for her to put the tip of her little finger in, but the second wasn't as bad.

_'I guess I can't just sit here for the rest of the day'_

Selphie crawled back over to the cupboard and fetched some crisp white bandages.

Wetting a tissue with water and disinfectant, she dabbed at both cuts, flinching a bit and looked at herself in the mirror.

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, her lip had a cut on from where Celia had hit her and her hair was all messy.

Wrapping up her arm, she put the razor away and pulled the sleeve of her SeeD uniform down. Just in time too, as Zell came walking in to her room.

Selphie panicked and slammed the bathroom door shut. She checked that all the blood was cleaned up off of her. Straightening her uniform and running her fingers through her hair, she opened up the door again, to a poised Zell ready to knock.

"Hey Zell, I was just, err . . . never mind. What do you want?"

"Nice way to greet a friend."

Selphie snarled. "I haven't exactly _forgotten_ what you said." Imitating him, she said, "_Wow, Irvine's a lucky guy. I wish I could fuck them too!"_

Zell brought his hand up and placed it behind his neck.

"I didn't say that last bit . . ."

"Yeah, well, I know you were thinking that."

Selphie sat down on her bed and stared up at Zell with her arms folded.

"**No way** Selph!"

"Yeah right, pull the other one, hotshot."

"_What??_ They're a right bunch of tarts. Why would I-,"

Selphie unfolded her arms and interrupted him. "Irvine did . . ."

Zell sat down next to his friend.

"Well, he obviously didn't see that he had a perfectly good girl in front of him."

Selphie brought her legs up onto the bed and hugged them.

"You mean it?"

Zell put his arm around her. "'Course I do! No-ones better than cute lil' Selphie!"

She smiled and rested her head on Zells shoulder.

A slight frown began to crease her brow. Lifting her head off Zells shoulder, she asked him, ". . . I know you wouldn't, well I hope you didn't but . . . did you take a picture of Celia and Irvine kissing and put it under my pillow?"

Zell almost laughed but looked at Selphie and realised she was being serious.

"**NO!** I'm hardly a peeping tom, and why would I do something like that, you're my_ best friend_."

Selphie leaned away from him, rustling around in her pocket, before bringing out the accursed photograph.

"Look," she thrust it into Zells hand.

He stared down at the crumpled snapshot depicting one of his friends and the blonde girl.

"Selphie, maybe you shouldn't keep this. If I know you, you'll only end up looking at it tonight and begin to cry."

Zell put the photo into his jeans pocket.

Selphie brushed a strand of light brown hair out of her eyes and linked her arm through her friend's.

"Zell . . . if I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?"

"Okay . . ."

"Say it then . . ."

Zell rolled his eyes upwards mockingly. "I promise."

Taking a deep breath, and looking Zell in the eyes, she said, "I didn't fall down the stairs today . . . They beat me up, Celia, Nichi and Amber. In the girls toilets."

She looked up to see her friend clenching his fists together and going slightly red with rage in the cheeks.

Zell got up and mumbled some words about going to see Irvine.

Selphie put a hand on his chest and pushed him back to a sitting position.

"You promised, remember?"

He let out some air that he'd been holding in his lungs for a while. "Oh, right. Okay, a promise is a promise. But if they lay _one finger_ on you again Selphie, I swear-,"

"Sshhh. I don't even deserve a good friend like you. I'm too dumb and clumsy and ugly. You should be off with the supermodel clan too, having the time of you're life and-,"

Zell interrupted her, "You're not dumb and clumsy and you're most definitely _not _ugly. You turn more heads than I can count. And I'd much rather be here with you than chasing after blondes that are taller than me and have about as much intelligence as a wad of used tissues."

Selphie crumpled up her face at his choice of words, but it did cheer her up.

"Thanks Zell. You're brilliant."

He beamed, as if knowing it already. "Wanna skip Quistys class and go for a milkshake?"

Selphie wrung her hands and bit the inside of her mouth.

"I don't know . . ."

"I'll buy you a fudge sundae . . . with extra chocolate sauce . . . and nuts . . . and those pink sprinkle things you get high on . . ." He wriggled his eyebrows at her.

She smiled and gave in. "Oh, okay then!" She wouldn't have given in so easily if she knew who'd be there. . .

**A/N: La la la. Hope that was okay. I'll update again soon, and try'n make them a lil' longer. Remember to tell me if you want a Zell/Sefie! Bye!**


	4. Strawberry Gashes

**A/N:Im Back! Thanks again for reviews! I am thinking about making this into a Zell/Selphie, but I'm not too sure because of reviews saying do it/don't do it. .blah blah . . I'll just go with whatever I type. OK?**

_"Scars are stories, history written on the body."_

Selphie and Zell sat down at a table across from each other and almost immediately a waitress dressed in a black mini skirt dress and a white pinafore came over. Zell ordered what they were. Selphie studied him watching the waitress's ass as she walked away.

"Typical guy."

"Huh?"

She smiled but it hurt because of a bruise on her cheek, so she stopped.

An eruption of giggles came from a table behind them where some more people had just been seated. Zell peeped over the partition each table had behind them and quickly sat back down.

Selphie tilted her head to one side.

"Anyone we know?"

Zell deliberately looked away from her and said quickly, "Nope, err no; we don't know 'em."

She could tell when he was lying so she peeped over for herself.

Her stomach lurched. She sat back down, crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Zell.

"No-one we know huh? They look pretty familiar to _me_."

Zell sighed and apologised. "I thought it'd be better if you didn't know they were here. We can leave if you want."

"**No!** I'm not that weak. Besides, if we get up, they'll see us for sure."

Selphie slumped back into the red padded seat.

'_Oh well. At least Irvy's not there . . . but neither is Celia. Argh, I've gotta stop thinking about him! It's not as if we're friends anymore. Maybe I should concentrate on the friends I DO still have, before they piss off too.'_

She hung her head down and began nonchalantly picking at her fingernails.

"Whatcha thinkin' Sef?"

Trying to shrug off the grey cloud that was hanging above her head, she looked up at Zell and teased, "I was just imagining you naked in the shower."

Zell blinked. Selphie giggled at his lack of reaction and kicked his leg lightly under the table.

He loved hearing her girlish laughs, this one in particular, because she sounded more like the old Selphie.

She stopped laughing when the waitress cave over and gave them their orders. A toffee fudge sundae with extra chocolate and an extra large hotdog with onions, mustard and tomato sauce.

On the table behind them, Selphie heard her name being mentioned. She listened in harder.

". . . . Yeah she's gonna _totally_ have a breakdown sooner or later. Can't wait! I'm glad we stole Irvine off of her; he deserves to have three gorgeous girls to shag, rather than a plain ugly freak of nature like Selphie Tilmitt . . . ha ha ha!"

Selphie decided to stop listening at this point.

Zell had heard what they said too. He swallowed what he had in his mouth and as usual, backed up his friend, shouting out, "You know, I heard **AMBER WATSON** takes it up the **ASS**."

Amber heard this and stood up, coming round to their table. Nichi stayed sat down.

"Zell DINCHT. I knew it was you squealing. You're only _jealous_ 'coz YOU can't have me, short piece of chicken shit."

Zell scowled at her. "Blow it out you're ass! If you weren't a woman, I'd beat the crap outta you. But then again, I can't be sure you _are _a woman. Underneath all that clown make up and peroxide hair dye, you could be anything."

Amber did the whatever sign with her fingers and walked away, dragging her friend out of the café with her.

Zell turned to Selphie with a triumphant grin on his face.

Selphie returned the smile and laughed at him.

"Thanks a lot Zell. I owe you."

**Back At Garden . . .**

Selphie wondered why people were sniggering at her as she walked in with Zell.

"Um, Zell, is my skirt tucked into my knickers or something?"

Zell leaned back and stared at her ass for longer than was needed.

'_She has one helluva nice ass . . . Mmm.'_

"Well?"

Zell faced her again, "Oh! Err, no. Why'd ya ask?"

Before she could answer, Rinoa came running up to them both.

Panting she said, "I've been looking for you everywhere Sef! I think you should see this . . ."

Rinoa handed Selphie a piece of paper, but Zell snatched it rudely before Selphie got to it.

"What is this?"

They all stared at it.

In the top right corner was a picture of Selphie and next to it in the middle in big black letters was typed -

**8 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT SELPHIE TILMITT**

**1**. She fantasises about Rinoa Heartily and Squall Leonhart doing it.

**2**. She swallows.

**3**. She receives anal sex.

**4**. She gives Zell Dincht hand jobs under the table in Instructor Trepe's class.

**5**. She's a stupid freak.

**6**. She's a slut.

**7**. She talks about everyone in garden.

**8**. She's on **Anti-depressants**! Weak bitch.

**JOIN OUR 'WE HATE SELPHIE' CLUB!**

Zell frowned a bit, reading number 4 again.

'_I wish . . .'_

Rinoa looked at Selphie, her chin was wobbling and her eyes were filling up with tears.

Leaning towards her friend, Rinoa wrapped her arms around the slender girls waist and gave her a tight hug.

Selphie sobbed into her friends neck.

"I can't take . . . this anymore."

Rinoa gave Zell a worried look and whispered to him to look after her.

She leaned back a little so she could look at Selphie.

"Selphie, ignore all this. Everyone knows none of it's true. I've already destroyed half of the leaflets. I'll go around looking for the rest. Don't worry."

Rinoa brushed the tears off her friends cheek and ran off, snatching leaflets from people's hands as she went.

Zell crumpled up the leaflet he was holding and threw it into a bin about a couple of feet away.

Selphie was about to run off, but Zell noticed and grabbed her wrist.

"No ya don't missy."

Selphie punched him weakly on the chest.

"Get **off** me! Zell!"

"Nope. You'll only run to your room and cry. And that's fine by me, but you're not going alone."

She turned to look at the blonde clutching onto her. Her make-up had run and her eyes were all watery.

"Zell . . . how . . . how did they _know _I take _pills_?"

Zell moved his hand down from her wrist and slipped it into hers. She gripped at it tightly with her fingers wrapped in his.

"I don't know Sef._ I_ didn't tell anyone. I wouldn't. You're my best girl."

They began to walk toward the dorms. People were still looking at Selphie and sniggering a bit. However, one glare from Zell was enough to make them shut up.

They all knew how hot headed he could get, and also how much damage he could do with one punch or kick.

"Are we goin' in your room or mine?" Zell asked, making it sound seedy.

"Mine" Selphie replied, not in the mood for the frisky blondes innuendos.

Once inside, she went immediately to the bathroom as her friend sat down on her bed and sifted through her CD's. Zell was glad they went into her dorm. He liked Selphies room. It was covered in photos of the group and had little sunshine stickers everywhere. On the bed there were a couple of stuffed toys, including the penguin from Irvine. Her whole room smelt of candy floss. That's another reason he liked it. It smelt of her.

Selphie sighed and sat down on the edge of the bath. She was still rather hysterical from that leaflet.

'_How the heck did they know I was on anti-depressants?! The rest of that stuff they wrote . . . how embarrassing. Yeah sure, I give Zell hand jobs, everyday and twice on Sunday. Geez. Would people really believe that?'_

It was obvious to her that it was Celia, but seeing as she was such a suck-up to the instructors and the headmaster, no-one would ever believe she did it.

They were ruining her life. Why couldn't they just leave her alone? They'd gotten what they wanted, which she assumed was Irvine. What she didn't know was that they got some sort of kick out of making Selphie suffer and weren't about to stop anytime soon. They were having too much fun.

Selphie was too upset to even cry, although she was going into overdrive with emotions, she felt numb. Reaching out to the bathroom cupboard, she got out the razor which felt comfortable in her hand and familiar to her skin.

Out in the bedroom, Zell had put on one of her Jack Off Jill CD's.

In the bathroom, Selphie heard the first song playing.

'_Turn her over, a candle is lit I see through her. Blow it out and save all her ashes for me. Curse me sold her the poison that runs its course through her pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over . . Watch me fault her, you're living like a disaster, she said kill me faster with strawberry gashes all over . . .' _

As Zell listened intently to the words, he thought of his friend in the bathroom.

'_She's been in there aggggesss. She wouldn't ever hurt herself would she? Nah. Would she? What if she is? Hell, what am I s'pose ta do? What if I bust in there and she's on the toilet? But what if I don't and she's carving herself up?'_

Zell was about to get up and go over to the toilet door when Selphie came out pulling down her sleeve and then rubbed her tired eyes.

Looking up, she mumbled, "Oh, you're still here. Thought you would've vanished like the rest of them."

A puzzled look formed on Zell's face, making his tattoo go all distorted.

"What's that s'pose ta mean?"

Selphie walked over to her CD player and turned it off.

"You _had _to put on that song didn't you. Depressed enough thanks."

"Stop ignorin' my question. WE haven't left you. You still got friends."

"Really? So . . . how come they never come see me anymore? Apart from you."

Zell ran a hand through his spiky hair.

"Well . . . you know the deal with Squall and Rinoa . . . and Quistis is back teaching. They're busy. And _hey_, you still see you're friends from Trabia."

Selphie walked over to Zell and stood in front of him with one hand on her hip.

"So, what's with _you_ Zell? Why do _you_ care so much, why haven't _you_ pissed off like the rest of them?"

"**What?!** Because you're my friend and I **care** about you! Stop _lookin'_ at me like that!"

Selphie let the frown lift off of her face and she plonked herself down on her bed next to Zell.

'_What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I being nasty to him? He's like the only one I have left. He DOES care and he's my best friend. And he is pretty cute, especially when he frowns like that. Huh? Where'd that come from?'_

She turned to her friend. He was looking down at his gloved hands and picking at a piece of cotton hanging out from the stitching.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you Zell. I care about you too."

Zell looked up at her and into her green eyes. He'd never really looked so deeply at her face and eyes before, but when he did, he found he was speechless. The cut on her lip had healed but there was still a small, faint bruise, yellow-ish in colour, on her cheek.

"Zell?" She smiled, "Are you okay?"

Zell eyed her up, not meaning to make it so obvious, and mumbled, "You really are pretty Sef. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. They're just trying to destroy you because they're jealous. Just . . . don't do anything stupid."

'_Too late.'_

Zell stared back into her forest green eyes and saw them filling up with water.

"**Shit**, Didn't mean to make ya cry."

He leaned over and took Selphie in his arms, squeezing her a little too tightly into a hug.

Selphie let out a small gasp of pain. His squeeze had caught the cuts on her left arm, and a couple re-opened, beginning to bleed again. She didn't realise this and thinking nothing of it, continued hugging her male friend, savouring the warmth coming from his toned body.

Selphie pulled away and ruffled up Zells hair. He tutted and fussed with it until it looked like it did before.

Reaching over to put a CD on, she noticed a dark red patch on her uniform sleeve.

'_Oh no!'_ She panicked and tried to hide it, and although it was only around the size of a ping pong ball, Zell had already seen it.

"Erm, Selphie . . . where'd that _blood_ come from?"

Selphie laughed nervously and avoided her friends gaze.

"It's . . . er . . . _you know_, a cut from when I got beaten on. Yeah. It must've re-opened."

Zell grabbed for her wrist and held onto it, not so hard that it would hurt, but strong enough to make her stay sitting down.

"Show me then."

Selphies green eyes grew wide. She desperately didn't want her only friend to think she was some sort of weirdo who took razors to herself for fun. It wasn't like that, but he definitely suspected something.

"Damn it SEF! **SHOW ME**!"

She was determined not too, so she tried to wriggle free of Zells vice like grip, but to no avail.

Taking things into his own hands, he rolled up his friends left sleeve, still holding onto her wrist.

Zell was used to the sight of blood, but it still shocked him when he saw Selphies arm with a crimson river running down her ivory skin.

Dotted around were random cuts, some deep, some just scratches, maybe around eleven or twelve in total. They all seemed to be kept to one area; her left upper arm.

Zell knew that Selphie had done it to herself and it upset him that she felt she had to do this.

"Selphie, _why_?"

The usually happy girl in front of him, was now about to cry again but didn't get that far. Zell pulled her into a hug and rocked her a little, calming her down and stopping those tears spilling down her face.

"Come on, let's patch you up again."

He took her small hand and led her into the bathroom, getting out the bandages.

Selphie sat down on the edge of the toilet seat. Zell ran a wadded up piece of toilet tissue under the cold tap, crouched down in front of the brunette and wiped it smoothly along her arm, getting off the blood that was dried on and dabbing at the cuts that were still oozing.

She flinched when he did this so he apologised.

"Zell . . .Do . . . do I disgust you?"

Zell stopped tending to her wounds and studied her face.

"Why did you say that?"

Selphie exhaled and replied, "Because of _these_ . . ." She pointed uncomfortably at her arm, which had now stopped bleeding.

"You don't disgust me Selphie. I'm kinda upset you did this though. Why didn't you come and talk to me when you felt like doing this?"

Zell continued to bandage up her arm, wrapping layers of the soft white cotton around the cuts.

"It wasn't that _easy_ Zell. The way I feel . . . it's like nothing is inside me."

At any other time, Zell would've joked and made what she said seem dirty, but now he just crouched and listened.

"Everything that _was_ inside me . . . it just up and left . . . like Irvine. I never thought I could feel _numb _and _worthless_ and _stupid _and that I'd be _better off dead_. But when I took that blade to my skin . . . it was like a release for me. Just _seeing _something come out of me made me feel like I was still here and that I was still something. After all, if I bleed, then I must be real, right?"

". . . I never knew you felt like this."

"No-one did. I paint on smiles every morning for them, but inside, I'm dead, I'm choking and I can't breathe and it hurts so much more than I can tell. I didn't even feel any pain when I cut myself. It was weird. As if I was caught in-between worlds. But it was _scary_ Zell, I was _scared_. I still am."

Zell got up from his crouching position and held Selphie in a tender embrace.

Brushing a few hazel brown tendrils out of her eyes, he whispered, "It's okay, Selph. Im here. I'll protect you."


	5. Night out

**A/N: (I guess this is an AU, yes) Ok, as much as I was tempted to, I've decided not to make this into a Zell/Selphie, purely because this story is serious and deals with matter very close to my heart. BUT . . . I will write a separate Zell/Selphie fic later for the reviewers who want it. **

"_I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. . ."_

A beam of sunlight had found its way through the shut curtains of the dark room, and slanted its way down towards Selphies face, lighting up the sleeping girls skin.

Her eyes slowly fluttered open. For a moment or two she was confused as to where she was, but then she realised she had slept in Zells bed again last night. After her episode with the cutting, Zell wouldn't let her sleep alone for fear of what she might do.

She shielded her eyes from the ray of sun and looked over at her sleeping friend.

His blonde usually gelled-to-perfection hair was all tousled with odd little curls sticking up here and there. His arm was resting over his face, covering his eyes. Selphie was pretty sure he was asleep by the way he was breathing deep and even, and the way his mouth hung open ever so slightly.

She turned back to face the ceiling. Once she had woken up, then that was it, no going back to the land of nod. Any other day, she would've just gotten up and gone to lessons, but today was her day off, along with most of the people she knew.

Hearing footsteps outside the door, she held in her breath, curious as to who it was and what they were doing. Three short knocks were heard, then silence.

Selphie looked over to Zell. He obviously hadn't heard because he was still sleeping like a baby and hadn't budged an inch.

Drawing the covers up to her neck, she turned onto her side and prodded Zells taut stomach with her index finger.

He let out a little groan and rolled over. Selphie poked him again harder, making him jump a bit.

Zell looked over at Selphie with tired half-open eyes stretched his joints and mumbled, almost incoherently, ". . . uaah . . . . Sef. . . Wha ya . . . _doin_'?"

"There's someone at your door."

Zell yawned and, lifting his head off the pillow, glanced over at the door.

"Well . . . they can go away. _I'm _not gettin' up!"

Selphie tutted at his laziness and poked him again.

"**Ow!** Selphie . . . Fine! I'll go see."

Zell sat up, pulling the covers slightly off of Selphie, and sending a cold breeze into the bed. Sliding over her, he went to the door and opened it.

Whoever was there had gone, but they had left a letter with his name scrawled roughly over it in black ink, pinned to his door.

"Huh."

He turned the letter over in his calloused hands and opened it up.

_Dear Zell,_

_Knocked but got no answer. Just thought I'd mention we're all going out tonight to the - - nightclub in Dollet at 7:00pm. Be there. Got no answer from Selphie's room either, so invite her, okay? See you tonight!!_

_Rinoa xx_

Selphie sat up, pulling Zell's blue duvet with her, determined not to let out any of the warmth.

"What's that all about?"

Zell ran a hand roughly through his hair and answered, "Oh, it was Rinoa. We're goin to that nightclub in Dollet tonight apparently. You game?"

Selphie flopped back down into the mattress. Quieting her voice a little, she asked with saddened eyes, "Will Irvy be there?"

". . . Dunno. Maybe. He's been an ass to you, though, why do you care if he'll be there or not?"

Selphie didn't answer, but tucked her head under the covers so he couldn't quiz her.

"Uh, didn't mean to upset you, Sef."

His voice came across to her as being slightly muffled, but she still understood.

"Lemme under will ya, it's cold out here."

Zell pulled aside Selphies sheet, uncovering her.

"Hey! That's my half!"

Zell climbed over her, ignoring her squealing complaints.

"Hey back! This is my bed; I get most of the sheet and I get to do what I want in it."

Selphie got a few disturbing images but soon shook them out of her head.

The blonde yanked the sheet away from her, leaving her exposed to the fresh chill of the early morning.

"Zell! You're **mean!"**

Zell turned over and faced her with a huge grin. "Ha. Okay, I'm _sorry_, here ya go."

He pushed half the sheet over towards her. She took it and snuggled it up to her chin again.

"So, are we goin' tonight then?"

Selphies heart leapt at the thought of seeing Irvine again and imagined up various scenarios in which he would take her in his arms and tell her it was her he wanted all along.

She snapped out of it when Zell yanked a piece of her hair.

"Well?"

"Oh, erm, well I suppose we will."

Zell smiled and tickled her tummy the way he used to when they were playing games in the orphanage.

"Just make sure ya dress drop dead gorgeous."

Later on that day . . .

Selphie had decided to take Zells advice, and had gone shopping with Rinoa.

"Ooh _Selphie_! This one would look great on you!"

After much searching through a clothes rail for her size, she pulled out a black chiffon mini dress, with small spaghetti straps that criss-crossed over the back.

Selphie walked over to her.

"Um, I don't know Rin. It looks a bit . . . _tight_."

Rinoa smirked, "Exactly! You want guys to be looking don't you?"

_'I want Irvine to be looking . . .'_

"I guess."

"Well then, go try it on! I'll even buy it for you."

Selphie smiled at her rich friend.

"You really don't have to."

"I want to! I'm gonna buy you anything that makes you look dazzling! Quit stalling, go try it on already!"

As she was in the changing room, Rinoa wondered around the store, looking for more things to thrust at her friend.

Once Selphie had the dress on, she came out and called to Rinoa, who rushed over immediately.

"One word. Wow!"

Selphie turned around and stared at herself in the full length mirror, fingering one of the straps. For a moment, she wondered who the stranger was staring back at her.

_'I do look nice, I s'pose. But those damn bandages. People are gonna ask questions.'_

"Come on Sef, I'm _so_ buying it for you."

After trudging through more shops looking for shoes, Rinoa finally admitted she needed to sit down, and dragged Selphie into a coffee shop.

"So, what's the big idea about tonight?"

Rinoa looked up at Selphie, pulling her mouth away from the straw of her chocolate milkshake.

"I just thought everyone needed to wind down a bit. It's been so long since we all went out to have a good time and everyone's been so distant with me and Squall."

Selphie fiddled with a piece of hazelnut coloured hair and replied, "That's because you and Squall are so . . ."

_"So . . ."_

"I don't know. _Loved _up I s'pose. We didn't want to interrupt."

Rinoa laughed and took hold of her friends hand. "Loved up? Nooo, we just like each other."

_'Yeah, like me and Irvy used to.'_

As if reading her mind, Rinoa flicked her hair behind her neck and quizzed, "So . . . I don't see Irvine with you as much anymore. What happened?"

Selphie sighed and hung her head down to rest on her hands.

"I guess . . . he just found_ other_ girls. Is he coming tonight?"

"Yes, but I told him not to bring those bimbo's. They've never done anything to me, but I know that they don't like you and vice versa."

"Maybe he'll actually attempt to talk to me tonight," Selphie said more to herself than her black haired friend.

"Or maybe you'll find another guy to obsess over."

_'Obsess? Am I really that bad? Sigh I couldn't ever find anyone that matched Irvine. He's perfect. I wouldn't want to either. I only want him.'_

**Tonight . . .**

Selphie had gone out with the group feeling rather happy and hopeful, but now, she felt lonely and sad watching her friends have fun around her.

Ordering another drink, she scanned the people in the neon lit club. She recognised a few of them from her battle skills class. And there was Zell, in the corner making out with that library pigtailed girl.

_'Cute. Get a room.'_

She noticed Rinoa dancing; Squall was no-where to be seen.

Selphie let out a sigh.

_'Like hell Irvine's here. Rinoa must've been lying. Either that or he's too busy with his Barbie dolls. I got dressed up all for nothing.'_

Although Selphie had received a lot of compliments from friends and guys she didn't know, she didn't really take it to heart.

Most of the people around her were roaring with laughter and getting drunk. Rinoa and Zell were already drunk, and even Selphie was heading that way if all she kept doing was downing shots.

At that moment, the spiky haired fighter bounced on over to her.

"Sefie! Come on, get up an' dance with us!"

"Thanks, but I really don't- **Zell!**"

Before she could refuse, Zell had grabbed her wrist in a familiar action and dragged her out to where Rinoa was having fun.

"Heeeeey Selphie!"

Rinoa took hold of her friends hand and twirled her round, as if Selphie wasn't dizzy enough from drinking.

"Hey, where's Squall?"

Rinoa clutched her arms round Selphies waist and looked up at her giggling, "Oh, he went outside to meet Irvine."

Selphie suddenly got nervous and tried to back away to hide before Irvine showed up.

Rinoa wouldn't let go of her waist though and was making it extremely hard to make a quick get-a-way. As if that wasn't bad enough, when she finally shook Rinoa off, she bumped straight into Zell and almost fell over.

_'Nice one Selphie'_ she thought to herself.

The drunken blonde shouted happily, "Hey, where you goin'? No-where!"

He picked her up and swung her over his shoulder, carrying her across the floor.

'Oh! Now he's definitely gonna see me!'

"Damn you Zell!" Selphie kicked around, paranoid that people could see up her dress. She happened to be facing the entrance and at that moment saw Squall walk in and look around with Irvine, probably scoping for Rinoa. Selphie jumped down and out of Zells grasp before he saw and ran into the dimly lit corner table, sitting down and running her fingers through her hair.

_'Why are you running away? I thought you wanted to see him? I do, I just need to prepare myself I suppose.'_ Whilst Selphies conscience was waging war in her head, Zell stumbled past to go to the toilet.

Once inside, he noticed Irvine was also in there, checking himself out in the mirror.

"_Oh_, hi Zell, I was just-,"

"Man, I know how vain you are, you don't havta lie."

Irvine chuckled. "How've you been anyway? I haven't seen a lot of you guys."

Zell hopped up onto the side where the sinks were situated. He was now face to face with his friend.

"Yeah well hic you been busy with what's-er-face. That bimbo tart and her gang."

"No need to be cruel. They have a lot to offer."

"Really? Like what? Like bullying Selphie?"

Irvine could see that Zell was getting irritated and knew not to provoke him. He was small but he could do one hell of a lot of damage to a human face.

"Zell, you're drunk. Come on, let's go outside."

"**NO**. I wanna talk about this. Why did you just throw Selphie to the curb?"

Irvine rolled his eyes and made an attempt to walk out. Zell pushed him back.

"Man, I don't wanna fight ya, but I need answers. Wasn't she good enough? Or is it the fact that she's not as easy as Celia?"

"**Piss** off Zell."

"She's really upset over you and you're acting like you don't care. Come on man, I know you! You can't just let go of a girl that easy."

"No, Zell, you don't know me, so don't even try to get inside my head. If you're so hot on her, then I'm not stopping you."

"_Wha?!_ It's nothin' like that! You know those bandages on her arm? She did that to herself, _because of you._"

Irvines heart dropped. He never thought his Selphie would do anything so stupid.

"You _what_?"

"She took a razor to herself because of you and your 'posse'. Did you know they beat her unconscious, Irvine?"

Irvine suddenly felt extremely guilty for how he'd been acting, and was angry with Celia.

"I never expected Celia to do something like that."

"Well then you obviously don't _know _Celia," Zell snarled.

"Look, Zell, I know Selphies your best friend, but you've really got to let me live my own life and make my _own_ choices on who i want to be with."

Zell hopped down off the side and brushed off his pants.

"Well, you're making the _wrong _choice if you pick that blonde air-head."

Irvine shot Zell a withering look and said, "Look, we'll talk about his later."

"Damn right we will . . ._ Irvy_."

Irvine ignored him and walked out of the rest room, feeling more than a little guilty.

**A/N: This chapter isn't my best. I wrote half of it late at night and now my Bro's back from uni, so i found it hard to write with him bursting in every few minutes. Just thought i'd tell you's all. BYe!**


	6. Reality hits home

__

**A/N: Phew, okay i'm back. Thanks goes to all reviewers! EEk, i start college tomorrow and i'm really nervous, wish me luck! Any who, heres what you want, so i'll quit stalling. . **

_"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry."_

Selphie hid her face behind her hands as she spotted Irvine walking past her. A few moments later, a flustered looking Zell emerged out of the restroom.

"Zell!" She motioned for him to come over.

"Heey Sef!" Zell embraced her in a drunken hug, while she just sat there and took it.

"Er, hi to _you_ too. I wish you weren't drunk, I could do with someone sober to talk to right now," she said wistfully, looking around at the various party goers with cocktails or shots or bottles of beer in their hands.

"You can tarrk too mee!" Zell slurred a bit, placing his hand in hers.

"Thanks Zell, but, maybe some other time. Like when you're not mashed."

Selphie wasn't annoyed at him. She understood that Zell couldn't be there all the time, and after all, it was in his nature to go out, have fun, get drunk and get laid.

"Jus' ran into that jerk cowboy. Ha."

Selphies head shot up at the mention of Irvine.

"Is he okay?"

"Oohh, yep. Jus' fine. Looked a bit downtrodden' after I told him 'bout you."

Selphies heart began to pound in her chest and she silently prayed that Zell hadn't told Irvine what she thought he had.

"Zell . . . w-what did you tell-,"

Interrupting her rudely he answered, "I jus' told him that you're like, _uber _depresso, and that you cut you're arm coz o' him."

Selphie cradled her head in her hands again, "No, no, no, no, _no_. **Zell?** How could you??"

Zell must've had some wits about him still, because his face suddenly became a lot more serious as the realisation hit home of what he'd done. He'd broken their promise. The promise of him not telling anyone about Selphies problems.

"Uhh, Sellphieee, I'm-,"

This time, she was the one to do the interrupting, "No, don't bother Zell. You're drunk and I don't wanna talk to you right now."

Getting up, she ran past Zell, not bothering to look twice at the people who she pushed past to get to the exit.

Once outside, the cool night breeze blew around her body, flapping her dress and bringing tendrils of hair about her face, refreshing her fogged up mind.

The air smelt of the ocean nearby and of the seaweed lapped up onto the docks by incoming ships. It reminded Selphie of her childhood days by the lighthouse, leaving her to remember how carefree and fearless she could be as a child.

Feeling sad, she began to walk down to the dock, where she sat on the edge and stared out to sea.

It was the ideal place to think; tranquil and away from the crowds of people.

Occasionally, the sea breeze would catch droplets of water from a wave far off and carry them to shore, ending their journey delicately on Selphies ivory skin.

She wasn't really angry at Zell. He was a great friend and had been there to talk to when she needed him, and secretly, deep down, there was a part of her that wanted him to tell Irvine anyway.

Selphie looked down at the water frothing and making domes of white bubbles as it hit the side of the dock. Sighing, she realised it was getting quite cold out, and she had two options; going back into the smoke filled, garishly lit noisy club, OR going back to her silent, empty dorm room alone.

While pondering to herself, she heard the clacking footsteps of someone's shoes on the cobbled street behind her.

Selphie didn't think much of it, too wrapped up in thinking about her options, until those anonymous footsteps came and sat down beside her, about a foot away and dangled their legs off the dock in the same fashion.

She recognised the shoes as being the same as Irvines.

_'Huh, someone's obviously got the same fashion sense as him . . . Wait a minute . . .'_

Selphie brought her head up slowly and turned to the right, only to be confronted with Irvine looking at her, the moonlight catching in his eyes and giving them an adorable shimmer.

_'Don't _do_ this. You've gotta get over him. Do not, what ever you do, stare into those eyes for longer than a second or you'll be hooked again.'_

She turned away, knowing she was addicted to him anyway and had been for a long time.

Willing herself to get up and get away from him before she did something dumb, she stood up on wobbly legs and went to walk back to the club.

_'Looks like option number two is out of the window.'_

However, before she could walk away, Irvine said softly, "Sit."

He had such a gentle persuasiveness in his voice that Selphie found herself turning her body back around and sitting back down the way she was before.

Irvine got a packet of cigarettes out of his coat pocket and lit one up.

Without thinking, Selphie asked quietly, "Since when have _you_ smoked?"

"Since when have _you_ been depressed?" Irvine replied, taking a drag on his cigarette and blowing the white smoke up into the air.

Selphie began to fidget with strands of her chestnut hair.

"Do I make you nervous?" Irvine asked, looking at her intently.

_'Why is he even talking to me? What a creep.'_

"Shouldn't you be with plastic Celia?"

Irvine didn't reply but flicked his cigarette end into the sea, watching its embers fizzle out.

"So, what's the deal with Sefie goin' crazy on me?"

"I didn't go crazy, **idiot**. Look, why are you even bothering? You can't just be horrible to me for ages and then suddenly come _sauntering_ over and think everything's back to normal."

"Wasn't thinking anything of the sort. You look nice by the way, that dress really accentuates your curves."

Selphie felt herself blush and forced down a girlish giggle that was on its way up.

"I saw that leaflet goin' about. Do you really give Zell hand-jo-,"

She interrupted him before getting embarrassed, "**NO!** None of that crap was true. I know who did that as well. It was you're fuck buddy _Celia_."

Irvine laughed but didn't deny it.

"I'm not out here to be laughed at. I came out here to get away from people like _you_."

"Sheesh Sefie, you've changed."

"I wonder why." She muttered sarcastically.

"Why are you so damn bitter? It's not as if we were dating."

Selphie stared at him wither mouth open in disgust. Did he fail to remember how close they had been?

"That's not the point. We were friends! **BEST** friends! And you threw me to the curb like a piece of old trash! What's with that, huh?"

Selphie could feel the anger growing inside her like a ball of fire and she knew she'd only make things worse by shouting and screaming, but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

"And what's _worse_ is that you traded me in for _Celia_ and her crew. Have you even _looked _at her? She doesn't even have a nice personality. In Fact she has _**no**_ personality. How could you be so utterly brain-dead and _stupid_? I mean I know half of the time you were probably thinking with your **dick **like you always used to, but that's no excuse for treating me like a bit of _shit_ on the bottom of your shoe!"

Irvine was a little taken a-back by this outburst from her. He'd never seen her angry, and frankly, it was rather scary.

"Look, just _calm down_, okay?!" Irvine stood up and stretched, about to walk back to the club.

Selphie also got up and walked over until she was in front of him and blocking his escape.

"You can't run away this time. Did you even stop for one moment to think how I felt? You didn't even give me a reason for going off like you did. You just left me hanging. Then I had to deal with being picked on and beaten_ unconscious_ by those tarts, and for what reason? I can't believe you've been such a dick to me."

Irvine towered over Selphie, looking down at the angry brunette.

"**Look,** why don't you just go snuggle up to Zell. You're good at that."

For a few seconds, Selphie was submissive and watched Irvine walked towards the club again, but then her mind clicked into gear and she ran in front of him.

"What's that suppose to mean?? Zell's my friend, _and yours_ in case I have to remind you, and plus, **who the hell **was I suppose to turn to? It used to be you, but, you know, you were too wrapped up in the bed sheets with **Celia**, **Nichi** and **Amber** to even bother."

Irvine flicked his hat up to see more of Selphie.

"Well, it's what they're good at, so why _not _take advantage of it? You can join me next time. . **Ha haha**."

"**You big jerk!!!** Why are you being like this? Where's the old Irvine gone?? I _know_ this isn't you!!" Selphie felt tears pricking at her eyes, and as determined as she was not to let her sadness show, this was another emotion she couldn't stop from coming out.

The club doors swung open. It was Zell. He'd sobered up somewhat now, due to searching and worrying about Selphie. He spotted the two a few feet away from the door, near the dock and stopped for a few moments. Zell realised Selphie was crying and immediately walked over, glowering at Irvine.

Irvine smirked and said to Selphie, "Here comes your _hero_ now, Sefie. Make sure you reward him later on tonight." He winked at her and turned to face Zell, who was now a couple of steps away.

"Hey Zell, just catching some sea air. Bumped into your lil' lady out here."

Zell didn't even acknowledge Irvines presence even though he seemed to be talking to him. He was more concerned for his friend, who was bawling her eyes out and looking distraught. Zell took Selphie into a hug and wiped her eyes with his hands.

"_Sshhh, _don't cry."

Irvine felt a bit jealous at watching this scene, and guilty again for making her cry, but he didn't show it.

"Aw, such a tender moment." He mocked.

Zell stopped hugging Selphie and turned around to face Irvine.

"**Get bent cowboy**."

"Zell, don't jeopardise our friendship over silly little girls."

Zell bared his teeth and spat, "She's not a _'silly little girl'_ She's my best friend, and on top of that she's talented, beautiful and intelligent, which is more than I can say for that conniving bitch _Celia_."

"Sounds like you're pretty hot on Sefie. Why don't _you_ have her if you're so concerned?"

Zell was lost for words. He didn't think of Selphie in that way at all.

Irvine smirked and added, "Go on man, go back to you're dorm and have it off like rabbits."

Selphie spoke up, drying her wet eyes, "Why is _everything_ about sex with you? Zell and I are **friends!**"

"Yep, right. You complain about _me _with a brain-dead blonde, but you've got one _yourself!_ Ha!"

This was the last straw for Zell.

Selphies reaction was too slow to stop the small fuming blonde from launching himself in a blur at Irvine, letting out a guttural growl that sent shivers down her spine . . . .


	7. Punchbag

**A/N: OKay! Don't kill me! I've updated, sorry it took so long (well it was long compared to how often i usually update) I've been busy with the new college thing and i had a bit of a block going on. but anyway, here it is, i'll try to put the next one up sooner. Thanks for all the encouraging reviews!**

_**"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."**_

Zell went flying at Irvine with his right fist coming into contact with the sharp shooters face. Selphie shut her eyes but heard a sickening crunch.

When she opened them again, Zell had landed a fist into Irvines stomach, making the breath whoosh out of him and sending him into a somewhat crippled stance. Blood was coming out like a river from his nose and dying his lips and chin a scarlet red.

**"Zell! STOP!"** Selphie cried out, aware of how trained Zell was in martial arts.

He wouldn't. He was so angry with him for making Selphie suffer so much, and then making it worse by accusing them of fooling around.

Selphie ran over to Irvine, her hair fluttering behind her.

"_Zell!_ Leave him be!"

The blonde stood there clenching his jaw and breathing heavily through his nostrils, making them flare out like an enraged beast. He sent one last punch into Irvines stomach and walked off to stand a few foot away.

Irvine was coughing like crazy, and blood was streaming out of his nose, soaking his shirt. Selphie stared at him, then at Zell, and began to cry again.

Watching his friends emerald green eyes fill up with water was almost too much for Zell.

He turned his back on her and took in deep breathes of the cool night air to calm himself down. When he turned back, Selphie was on the ground with her knees clutched to her chest, crying her eyes out and rocking back and forth.

Zell felt a lump forming in his throat and no matter how many times he swallowed, it wouldn't go away. He walked over to Selphie and kneeled in front of her.

"Selph . . . I'm sorry. _Please_ don't cry."

Gingerly wrapping his tanned arms around her small frame, he brought her closer to him. She was shaking and breathing deeply but made no attempt to push him off her.

Looking over Zells shoulder, she saw Irvine stumbling away holding his gushing nose, which, thanks to Zell, was broken.

Not entirely sure on what she was doing, Selphie gently pushed Zell away from her and hopped to her feet, ready to run after Irvine.

"_IRVY!_ Wait up!"

It didn't take long for the young girl to catch up with his slow wobbly pace.

"I'll take you back to Garden. Doctor Kadowaki will patch you up."

Irvine didn't say anything, but glanced quickly at Selphie's concerned face, then looked away before she could see the guilt in his eyes.

She hooked her arm through his and smiled a little at the memorable feel of his soft coat against her bare skin. She longed to bury her face into his firm side, but held herself back, knowing that this was hardly the time to attempt to do anything but get back to Balamb Garden.

Zell watched them walk away and sit down on a bench nearby. He was suspicious of Irvine and didn't want Selphie to get hurt again. Standing there beside the dock with the cool wind hitting his face, he decided to leave Selphie to do whatever she will, he couldn't watch over her 24/7. Zell lifted his clenched hands up and rubbed his blood stained knuckles. He hadn't worn his gloves tonight, but his hands didn't hurt from the punches he'd given Irvine, they were too familiar to being used in such a way that they'd grown some sort of weird invisible pain barrier.

Zell decided that he may as well go back to the club and have some fun as he didn't feel like catching the ship back to Balamb just yet.

Selphie rooted through her small yellow satin bag and came out with a strip of bandages that she always carried around for first aid needs. Handing them to Irvine next to her, she focused in on Zell walking back to the brightly lit club entrance. He had his head hung down with his hands stuffed in his pockets and was forlornly kicking at a can on the street.

_'He was only sticking up for me . . . yeah, by beating the crap out of his friend. NO, Irvine was being a bastard; I guess Zell had a right to hit him. Nothing should be solved with violence though, unless you're on a mission . . . or something.'_

Selphie sat once again battling with her turbulent thoughts and almost forgot Irvine was sitting beside her, flinching with pain at cradling his broken nose.

At that moment, the medium sized ship bound for Balamb tooted its horn, signalling its arrival.

Selphie looked over to Irvine, unaware that he had also been arguing with numerous thoughts creating a whirlwind in his head. They both got up and walked slowly, without words, to the waiting ship.

**Later on, in the club . . .**

Zell sat at the club bar once again, getting smashed out of his head. Some girl in a white halter neck dress and short blonde hair was attempting to get him to dance with her.

"Look, I'm really not into blondes." Zell snapped at her and watched her give him a dirty look and float off looking for another guy. Normally he would've jumped at the chance for a bit of action, but not tonight. Too much had gone on and the last thing he needed was to wake up with some strange girl clinging to his side.

Rinoa came running over to him. Her lipstick was a little smudged, an obvious clue to what her and Squall had been doing most of the night.

"_Heey _Zell! What's up _sweetie_?"

She was also drunk and buzzing and failed to notice Squall was walking up behind her with a strange look in his eyes.

"I'm having _soo_ much fun! Hey where's Sef? OH and I haven't noticed Irvine about. Maybe they made up and are in a closet somewhere fuc-,"

Her speech was interrupted by Squall placing his lips on her and pulling her to him.

Zell rolled his eyes and went back to staring at his drink.

He heard Rinoa giggling and saying something about Squall being 'too horny'

She tapped Zell on the shoulder and said, "Go find a girl Zell, it might do you some good."

He took this the wrong way and shouted, "What the _fuck_ is that s'pose to mean?!"

Rinoa blinked at him, shocked a little at his reaction.

"I was _only_ trying-,"

"Yeah well get **lost**."

Squall stepped up beside Zell.

"Don't talk to her like that."

Zell realised he was still angry from what happened earlier and apologised.

"Erm, Squall, can we talk?"

"Sure. What's wrong?"

"Err . . . can we talk _alone?_"

Rinoa stood holding squalls hand and staring up at him doe-eyed. He bent down and said something to her to make her go skipping off into the crowds of people.

Pulling up a chair beside his shorter friend, he asked once again what was bothering him.

Zell finished off his drink and began.

"Well, you know the deal with Irvine and Selphie don't ya?"

Squall looked a bit puzzled, and then remembered, "The whole thing with them not being as close?"

"Yeah. Well, there was kinda _more_ to it."

His brunette friend hoisted an eyebrow. Zell realised what he must be thinking.

"OH, _no way_. Had nothing to do with me. Not in the sense you're thinking anyway. _Nuh-uh_."

Squall looked relieved, "So, what is it then?"

"I can't tell you everything, because Sef told me some stuff she doesn't want you guys to know, but I'll just say that she wasn't as happy as she made out. Have you noticed Irvines posse?"

"Those sluts. Yeah, couldn't miss them, they look a state."

"Yup. Well, Selphie _didn't_ fall down the stairs; they _beat her up_ in the girls toilets."

Squall had a look of shock on his face, but only for a second.

Zell continued.

"They've all been bullying her for a while, and she got really upset and confided in me. Irvine was being a _massive_ dick to her; he didn't even tell her why he was being nasty. I asked him some stuff in the guys restroom, but he got all arsey on me-,"

"Were you drunk?" Squall interrupted.

Zell looked slightly annoyed. "Well _yeah_, but that's not the point. Anyway, after that, Selphie must've gone outside for air, and Irvine must've too, I don't know, I wasn't there. When I did go outside, they were arguing and he made her cry."

"What were they arguing about?"

"I'm not sure. The current situation most probably. So, I went over to her, as a friend would, then he made some crude comment referring to us _sleeping together_ and doing stuff. I kinda got mad and . . ."

"_And_?"

"I decked him one. And I _sorta_ broke his nose."

Squalls eyes widened a bit, "You _sorta_ broke his nose?!"

Zell sighed, "Okay. I **did **break his nose. And punched him in the stomach a few times."

Squall put his hand to his head for a second, then took it away and said, "Zell, you've _really_ got to control you're anger. I know you care for Selphie, we all do, but she can take care of herself."

"No she can't."

"She _can_. If she wanted to break Irvines nose, she could've done it pretty easily I'm sure. You know what she's like when she gets angry. Remember that time when we were in her dorm and you accidentally spilt yoghurt on her bed?"

They both laughed at the thought.

"Yeah, she went _crazy_ and tried to stab us with her stilettos she'd just bought, and then chased us down the hall with them."

"She's lethal. So, where are her and Irvine now?"

Zells smile dropped off his face as the present came back to him.

"They went to sit near the dock. I think they were waiting for the ship back."

"Right. How long ago was this?"

"About two-three hours ago maybe? They would've got back ages ago."

"Yeah, maybe we should head off too, it is getting late."

As is on cue, Rinoa bounded over again and hung her arms around Squalls neck.

"Hey Rinoa, is it okay if we head back now?" He asked, knowing how much fun she was having.

Rinoa pouted a bit. "Where's Selphie and . . . thingy?"

"Irvine. They've gone back home already."

Rinoa giggled again and fell against squall.

"They've gone back to_ gettt ittt onn_!"

Zell glanced at Squall who did the bottles up sign and said quietly, but loud enough for Zell to hear, "She's had a bit _too_ much alcohol."

"Figured."

"Come on Rinoa, we're off now. Try and walk in a straight line, okay?"

She giggled again and looked up with starry eyes at Squall as they went to get the boat home.

When they arrived back at Balamb Garden, it was around four in the morning and Rinoa was complaining about feeling sick. Squall took her back to her dorm and sat with her for a while, until she fell asleep.

Zell said good night to them both and walked back to his dorm. He half expected to see Selphie snuggled up in his bed, but she wasn't there.

_'Maybe she's sleeping okay tonight . . . today, this morning . . . whatever it is.'_

He splashed with face with cold water and brushed his teeth to get the stagnant taste of beer out of his mouth, before stripping down to his boxers and lying atop his bed.

_'Should I go check on her? She might think I'm being a perv. When has she ever thought that, dumbass?! I s'pose. But what if she's having it off with Irvine? As if. She's not that easy. But Irvine has his ways of making . . . nah, she wouldn't. What if he made her? Nooo, he's a ladies man, not a rapist. Dammit, I can't sleep.'_

With his head still busy with thoughts, Zell got up and slipped on a pair of old grey joggers, then headed out to Selphies dorm.

He knocked lightly on her door and waited for any sound of movement inside. There was none. Knocking again, he heard a slight groan and then 5 seconds later, the door clicked and inched open a bit.

Selphie stood there in her blue bunny pyjamas, which Zell had to admit, looked adorable on her.

Rubbing her eyes, she scowled at him and then let it drop; remembering that she did to him what he was doing to her almost every night.

"Come in, Zell." She said with a yawn.

He scanned her room quickly, looking for signs of Irvine, even though he knew he was being paranoid and stupid.

Selphie got back into her bed and invited Zell in beside her. At first, he shook his head, but then decided that her room was rather cold, so he slipped in next to her.

After five minutes of staring up at the white ceiling, which was decorated with little glow in the dark stars, he decided to turn to his side and talk to her.

"Selphie, you awake?"

". . . Mmm . . ."

"So, what happened after I'd gone?"

Selphie also turned around so that she could face her friend whilst having a conversation with him.

"Irvine went to the Infirmary and Doctor Kadowaki patched up his nose."

"Then what?"

"What makes you assume there's _more_?"

"Coz I can see it in your eyes."

Selphie smiled a bit.

"You shouldn't be studying them so hard, _perv_."

"Wha?!_ Me?_"

Selphie smiled again. She liked winding up Zell, even though she was really doing it to change the subject.

She ruffled up his hair and hid under the bed covers waiting for him to pounce after her.

Instead, he stayed up top and asked, "So, are you and him on speaking terms now or what?"

Selphie came back up and layed on her front, with her arms under her chin.

"Don't know. We were speaking, but it was kinda awkward. I asked him about Celia again and then I asked if he would come and hang around with us like he used to."

"What did he say to that?"

"Not much. He said it hurt his nose to speak, but I think he was lying to get out of answering my questions. Oh, but he did thank me for taking him back, then he gave me a good night hug."

Selphie got a dreamy look in her eyes.

"It wasn't a fake hug either. I could _feel_ it."

Zell smirked, "Feel what?"

She tutted and gave him a light slap on the head.

"You know what I mean. It was like he _really meant it_, like he really wanted to _hold me and not let go_. But, I got embarrassed and let go first."

"Erm, you haven't forgotten all the shit he put you through, right?"

"No, but I don't exactly want to _remember _either. I'm just gonna work on getting him back to normal."

"You can't change a guy like him, Sef."

Selphie rested her chin on her hands and sat up slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't really wanna remind you, but he's obviously got hold of Celia for one reason. He's a guy, and he's not gonna turn down an easy screw, to put it in a crude way."

Selphie chewed at the inside of her mouth.

"Well, _you_ would."

"What?"

"You would turn down Celia if she tried to hook you into a closet or something."

"Yeah, but Irvine's perpetually horny and you're not easy, so he couldn't exactly turn to _you_, could he?"

Zell realised that last sentence came out sounding different than how he'd meant for it to.

Selphie frowned at him and had a hint of irritation in her voice.

"_What?!_ Are you calling me some sort of _no-go sex zone?!_"

Zell cowered a bit and replied, "**No!** I just mean that . . . err . . . well, you're far too decent to open your legs to just anyone."

_'Shit'_

Selphie punched Zell in the arm. It was quite hard, but it didn't really cause him any pain.

"Sef! Im not _insulting_ you, i'm saying . . ."

_'Think about this man, else you're gonna get a knee in your nuts.'_

". . .I'm just saying . . . that Irvine _knows_ you're a decent girl and he wants it to be special if he ever did something intimate with you . . ."

Zell was almost waiting for another punch but instead, Selphie smiled, her anger melting away.

"_Aww_, Zell! You _really_ think so? That's **so** cute."

Selphie sighed happily and hugged Zell.

_'Man, she's so unpredictable!'_

"You still want me here? Or can you sleep okay tonight?"

"I guess I'll be okay, but you're kinda serving a purpose as a human hot water bottle, so do me a favour and stay till I'm asleep. Or you can stay until dawn, I don't mind."

"Okay. G'night."

"Good night, Zell."

Selphie gradually drifted off to sleep, lulled by Zells radiating heat. Before she finally went off into dream land, she wondered what tomorrow would bring for her, and if Irvine would be involved.


	8. Fragile Life

**A/N: Heres the next chapt. I had a free day off from college so had time to write. I will probably be updating again aroudn friday night. Thanks for reviewing and encouraging me!**

**Warning: Has bullying and graphic self harm (in case that kind of stuff sickens you, i though i'd better add a warning)**

"_Ah what despair, what hatred she felt. She needed this man for her salvation, he was all she had to live for, and yet she could not believe him. She needed him in order to live, but he was not worth her dying. She promised herself this: When she got home, when she was alone, she would draw the razor more deeply across her arm."_

The morning was hot and stuffy when Selphie woke up and she somewhat regretted having to put on her drab SeeD uniform and go to lessons. She'd much rather wear her yellow sundress, find a nice patch of green grass and stare at the pale blue sky until the day was out.

What had happened last night seemed a distant memory to her and as if it was someone else's, not hers. To her, it hadn't seemed real.

_'Zell did throw a punch at Irvine . . . didn't he?'_ Selphie thought to herself as she walked slowly down the hall to classroom 2F.

Irvine came down sauntering down in the opposite direction, confirming her doubts about last night. He appeared to have a plaster across his nose, along with a lot of bruising.

Selphie wasn't sure of what to do and felt panic arising.

_'Ahh, what do I do, what do I do? Should I say hi to him? Oh, help meee!'_

She noticed that he was alone . . . for once, and feeling a sudden surge of courage and forgiveness, she stopped and asked how his nose was.

"Oh, hi Sef. It hurts. Didn't know Zell had such a mean fist on him."

Selphie shuffled awkwardly on her feet.

"Um, he didn't _mean_ to hit you. Don't be mad at him. He really regrets it."

Irvine lifted his hat brim up and placed his violet eyes on Selphies forest green orbs.

"Well, we all do stuff we regret . . ."

Selphie went to say something but before she could get any words out, Irvine had pulled his hat brim back down to shadow his eyes and walked off down the hall.

Selphie stood in the hall wondering what to think of what was said, until she realised class had started 5 minutes ago, and Instructor Aki was not one to take tardiness lightly.

The lesson on advanced battle techniques passed pretty quickly that morning, which probably had something to do with Zell sitting next to her and chatting about aimless points and aspects of life.

"Wanna go grab lunch, Selph? I'm _starving_!"

"Zell, it's only just gone half twelve."

"But I'm** hungry**! And if we don't go now, they'll run out of hotdogs."

Selphie smiled at her friends love of food.

"Okay, I'll come with. I need to talk to you anyway."

As they entered the cafeteria, Selphie spotted Squall sitting at a table alone, flicking through some sort of gunblade magazine.

"Hi Squall, where's Rinoa?" she asked, genuinely interested as to where her female companion was.

Squall looked up from his reading and answered, "She's hung over from last night, so I made her stay in bed."

"Oh."

Pulling out a chair, Selphie found herself preoccupied with scanning the room for Irvine.

Zell strided in front of her gaze and offered her some of whatever he had on his plate (probably hotdogs)

"Get out of my way Zell!"

Squall was once again distracted from his reading and looked at Selphie, noticing the irritation in her voice. He then looked to Zell, who had sat down beside him, and gave him a look as if to say 'what's-up-with-her'.

Irvine wasn't to be found anywhere in the vicinity of the cafeteria, but Celia and her friends were.

Selphie had accidentally held their menacing gaze for far too long, and she knew this could only result in trouble for her later. At the moment, she was safe. They wouldn't dare try anything with Squall and Zell sitting with her. It was then that she was grateful for her friend's company and apologised to Zell for snapping at him.

Selphie smoothed her hair down and said, "Zell, can we go somewhere to talk?"

Getting the hint, Squall got up and murmured something about going to check up on Rinoa.

Zell waved his friend good bye as he was sticking each of his fingers in his mouth, licking off the remnants of hotdog which could be found there.

"So, you okay Sef?"

"Yeah . . . well . . . _kinda_ . . . actually no."

Zell pushed his empty white plate to the side, and rested his strong tanned arms atop the table.

"Well, I'm listenin'"

He knew what it was bothering the young girl, but he waited for her to tell him.

Selphie hesitated, "Its . . . well, nothing really. . ."

Zell looked into her green eyes and hoisted up one of his eyebrows.

"Uh, okay. It's Irvine . . . what I am supposed to _do_?"

"About what exactly?"

"About _him!_ I can't just leave it alone. I've told you before, don't you _listen_ Zell?"

She knew full well that he was a good listener and always lent an ear to her problems.

"Yeah. I know how you feel 'bout him Selphie, but I know he's hurt you, and he'll do it again and again and again if you let him."

This wasn't what Selphie wanted to hear and it shattered the false illusion she had created around herself that morning.

"What would _you _know, Zell?? You only ever think with your**_ fists_** and your dick!"

Zell frowned and laughed a bit.

"Selphie, calm _down_! The only reason I hit Irvine last night was because I was semi drunk and he'd made you cry. And the dick thinkin' part, well I'm a guy, and plus I don't think with it around you."

Once again, Zell had said something the way he didn't intend for it to sound.

Selphie gave him a dirty look and got up, swinging her bag onto her back rather violently.

"I'm _that _**ugly** and **repulsive** am I?? Maybe Celia and her lot were right. Huh, I should start_ listening_ to them more, at least that way; the truth won't be such a **let down**!"

Zell sighed and banged his head down onto the table as Selphie once again had run off on the verge of tears, thanks to his blundering.

Selphie aimed to go straight to her dorm room but ran straight into Celia, Nichi and Amber, literally.

She rebounded off her enemy and onto the hard floor, making her tail bone explode with pain; still, she got straight back up, determined not to let Celia see it.

"**Clumsy bitch**! Watch where you're _going_!"

Nichi and Amber joined in, "Yeah, **stupid cow**, don't touch us, we'll get your _weirdo_ germs."

"_Eeew_, wouldn't want _that _to happen, Irvine would _never_ let us near his dick again!"

Celia smirked and moved towards Selphie until she was inches from her face.

"Where's your little protector now, huh? No one gives _two shits_ about you Selphie Tilmitt; they wouldn't care if you threw yourself in front of a _train_ or _slit your wrists_. Everyone would be glad that you tore your _ugly face_ out of this universe, even Zell, and _especially_ Irvine. In fact he told us that he _wished _you were dead because all you do is cause him trouble."

Celia leaned back from Selphies face. Amber and Nichi were laughing and looking at her with daggers in their eyes.

Their taunting had become commonplace for Selphie, but it never got any less painful, and due to her depressive state of mind, she would always believe what they said.

She was crying silent tears as Nichi stuck her foot out behind Selphies and pushed her back so she tripped up and fell onto the floor again.

They all laughed and pointed at her.

"Sweet dreams, _Selphie_." This came from Celia who was staring down at her with nothing but hate in her ocean blue eyes.

As the group walked away down the hall, she could hear them imitating her crying and laughing.

A small voice in Selphies head told her not to listen to them and to get up and be strong, but the echoing laughs and words had gotten right into her mind and heart, burning a hole of pain and sadness there.

Getting up, she ran straight to her dorm and locked herself in, throwing her heavy bag onto her bed.

Leaning up against the cool oak of the door, the tears flooding down her face, she began to think about the cruelty of what had been said.

_'Why do they do this to me? Can't they just leave me alone? I _know_ I'm ugly and I _know_ I'm a freak and I_ know_ I'd be better off dead, but I don't need them to tell me.'_

Selphie sunk down to the floor and rested her head on her bent knees.

_'No-one cares. Zell doesn't care. They're right. I'm a burden to everyone.'_

She found herself crawling across the floor and into the bathroom, where she rummaged inside the cabinet, bringing out a large clean razor. Selphie crawled back into her room and leant up against her bed, bringing her knees up to her chest in a familiar fashion.

Selphie un-wrapped the bandage from around her left upper arm slowly and carefully.

Some of the tiny fabric strands had gotten stuck to her previous cuts and were pulling on them. She clenched her teeth and quickly ripped the bandage off. This action caused one of the much larger cuts to open up again and trickle its scarlet liquid down her arm.

Finding a patch of skin near the underside of her arm, she pressed the cool metal blade into her skin and slashed it across her arm, as if it wasn't anything to think twice about doing. Selphie winced a little, but found the sight of the ruby gash in her pale arm somewhat alluring. She was still sobbing, but not with so much vigour, although she still hurt for all she was worth inside.

Selphie heard Celia's words so loud in her head that she could've been standing right next to her.

_'. . . They wouldn't care if you threw yourself in front of a train or slit your wrists . . . Everyone would be glad that you tore your ugly face out of this universe . . .'_

Lifting her wrist up closer to her face, Selphie stared, lost in time, at the tender blue veins along the inside of her wrist; fragile twigs trapped under ice.

For once in her life, she decided not to think, but to just do, because at the time, to her it seemed right.

She rested the blade length-ways across her wrist and dragged it up, pushing in harder and deeper than she had ever done before . . .


	9. Hanging by a thread

**A/N: To reviewers- Some of you said this was depressing, and yes, this part will be. At the beginning i said i would be dealing with very real life issues cloe to my heart, and this is an issue that, unfortunately, people in the world tend to ignore. I'm not trying to sound like some sort of serious advice type person, but it's about time people took notice of matters that can only get worse if they're brushed to the side and seen as 'attention seeking' or a 'trend' or things other silly people call it when they don't understand.**

**Asides from that i'll give a little away . . Yes i probably will get someone to kick the plastic out of celia, and no, in this story, Selphie has no other friends apart from Rinoa,Zell and Squall, oh and the tendons in your wrist aren't as tough, and you do it length-ways. I learnt that from a friend. Wow, i sound like a nutter. I'm not!! Pwease don't go!**

**Sorry if this chappie depresses you, i'll make the others happier in the future!! Wow, that was a long A/n.**

_"We have all made attempts to take our lives, or to tell without words, some with a knife or razor dividing the flesh ,making the invisible somehow visible...making themselves and everything they've been through disappear."_

Selphie stared at the deep severe in her wrist which was quickly welling up with crimson blood and spilling onto the floor. She had felt no real pain whilst doing it, just a burning sensation and an odd feeling of release.

It was when she saw how much blood was actually coming out of her, and not seeming to stop that she began to panic and snap back into reality.

_'What have I done?!'_

Already starting to feel a little weak, she clutched hold of her seeping wrist, reached over to the heater and grabbed a towel that was drying on it.

Selphie forcibly wrapped the soft white cotton around and around her wrist, pulling it tight and holding it in place.

She was slowly beginning to feel sick and realised she had to do something instead of just sitting in her room.

Rising a little too quickly on wobbly legs, she stumbled towards her door and yanked it open, staggering across to Zells room.

Selphie was starting to feel extremely light headed due to the blood loss. Her mind was all fogged up and she couldn't think. She began to cry at the lack of answer coming from Zells dorm. Trying to walk away, she found she was unable to control her legs properly, and fell to the floor.

_'This is it, I'm gonna die.'_

Selphie moved in nearer Zell's door way and curled up, sill pressing the blood soaked towel to her wrist.

She willed herself not to let her eyes close and focused on the overhead lights, casting a glare so bright, it made her jerk open her eyelids every time they went to shut down.

Every muscle in her body screamed at her to get up, but she just couldn't.

Selphie began to give up hope and now just waited for death to envelope her in its cold embrace.

_'So, this is what it's like.'_

She heard a voice echo in her head, bigger than her own, which seemed to be getter louder as each word was spoken. Then she heard thumping footsteps, which seemed odd to her. It wasn't until she realised that it wasn't a strange voice, but in fact, Zell, running towards her and saying, "**Selphie,** are you alright?"

Selphie felt strong arms on her shoulders turn her around slightly, then heard an _'Oh my god'_ follow.

For a moment, this sight was too much for Zell. Selphie, sitting in his doorway with tear stained cheeks, ruffled hair and a blood covered uniform. Although he'd seen a lot of blood and people dying, they had always been enemies. Seeing one of his best friends like this made him panic and switch to 'off' mode.

_'Infirmary,'_ he thought, _'take her to the infirmary.'_

Zell whispered, "**Selphie,** stay awake, **please **don't go, hang in there."

He scooped her up in his arms, ran down the dormitory hallway and out into the main area of the first floor.

Irvine was walking along in the opposite direction when he noticed Zell carrying Selphie. At first, he thought they were just messing around, but then he saw the distraught look on the blondes face and the way Selphie seemed to be slumped in his arms, her eyes seemingly fighting to open and close and open up again.

A wave of terrible worry flooded over Irvine as he beheld this sight.

"**Irvine!** Help me, what do I _do??_ She slit her wrist!" Zell half shouted with worry.

Luckily, there weren't many students wandering around as they were all in lessons.

"Hand her to me and run to tell Doctor Kadowaki what's happened. I'll bring her in, but it'll be quicker this way."

All venom filled thoughts over the punch up were suddenly forgotten between the two, as Zell handed Selphie lightly over to Irvine, squeezing her small hand before running off into the small room where Dr Kadowaki could be found.

Irvine followed, but not so fast, being as gentle with the young girl as he could. He looked down at Selphie cradled in his arms. He couldn't believe that the girl once so full of life had now come to this: her breathing shallow and her iron will to live melting slowly.

Irvine held her tightly to him and kissed her forehead before going into the Drs room, where Zell was frantically explaining what had happened.

"Quick, I'm going to have to get a water ambulance to transfer her over to Dollet central's hospital, we don't have the things to deal with this here."

Zell looked over at Selphie anxiously as the doctor phoned through for help.

"She's still breathing." Irvine said, quickly checking her pulse.

Selphies eyes still kept flickering open and closing again, but this time she focused on Irvine. He could see the fear in her eyes and felt it was his duty to tell her that everything was okay. But he couldn't. He didn't know for sure if things would turn out okay, and as much as he didn't want to think about it, he knew there was a possibility of losing Selphie.

Zell took hold of Selphies small hand and clutched it in his own.

"Selphie, _why???_ Don't leave us; I _know_ you're stronger than this."

Irvine could see that Zell wanted to cry, but being a typical man, daren't let any tears actually come out of his eyes.

Doctor Kadowaki spoke, "Right, there's already an ambulance at the dock. **NOW GO**, **quickly!!!!**"

She quickly tightened the towel around Selphies wrist, applying a lot of pressure to stop the bleeding before they went.

Irvine and Zell ran out of the infirmary and out of the front gates, ignoring the angry shouts of the receptionist, who was unaware as to what was going on and probably thought they were just running out to skip lessons.

Selphie was still held tightly in Irvines arms, still breathing and still occasionally opening her eyes and glancing up at Irvine above her. He didn't know it, but that was what was keeping her going, just feeling him holding her again and seeing the concern on his face.

_'Concern for me. He cares again.'_

On getting to Balamb dock, two paramedics dressed in white and red uniforms rushed over and put Selphie onto a stretcher and slid her into the back of the small water ambulance.

Zell wouldn't let go of Selphies hand, for fear of her letting go of herself.

One of the paramedics, who was a tall man with brown hair, said; "Only one of you can come with her, I'm afraid."

Irvine looked over to Zell who clearly didn't want to let go of Selphie.

"You go with her, Zell. I'll catch the next ship to Dollet and join you soon."

The blonde nodded and stayed sitting in the back of the boat clutching at his friends hand.

Before they went, Irvine ran his hand along Selphies soft pale cheek, leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "Don't go _anywhere_, keep fighting, I'll be here for you and . . . _I'm sorry_."

The boat sped away, leaving a trail of white foam in the blue ocean that looked like it was reaching for the sky each time a wave hit it.

One of the paramedics on the ambulance lifted up Selphies head to slip an oxygen mask over her face. In this brief couple of seconds, she was able to see Irvine standing on the dock alone, the wind blowing at his coat and his hair, flipping it this way and that.

That was the last image she saw before blacking out.

Irvine was too torn up inside with guilt and worry too watch the boat go very far. After about three minutes of standing at the dock side, he decided to go to the boarding point for the next Dollet ship.

As he was walking along, trying to make sense of what happened, he bumped into Squall and Rinoa, who were walking out of the entrance.

"Oh, hey Irvine. Whatcha doing out here?" Rinoa chirped.

She hardly gave him time to reply before she yanked on his sleeve and said, "Squall said I should get some air because I look terrible, he's so _rude and blunt_!"

Squall, who was standing beside her in his usual pose, sighed and rolled his eyes upwards.

"I just think she needs some fresh air, she's got a headache."

Squall stared more carefully into the sharpshooters face.

"You don't look too good either Irvine, are you okay?"

Irvine looked down to the ground and stared at his boots, avoiding his friends gaze.

"Something's happened . . ."

Rinoa cocked her head to the side and waited for him to continue.

"It's Selphie . . . she got rushed to Dollet hospital a few minutes ago."

Squall stood looking at his friend puzzled, and Rinoa's eyes bugged out as if someone had slapped her on the back a little too hard.

"What for?! Is she _okay??!_"

Irvine stared out at the sapphire blue sea, watching the way the sun reflected off the waves, making them shimmer as if a million diamonds were just beneath the surface.

"She . . ."

"She _**what?!**_"

Irvine fixed his hat onto his head tighter and brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck, aware of Rinoa getting annoyed with waiting for him to talk.

"Irvine! **Tell!**"

"She . . . er . . . slit her wrist."

"_Oh no!!_" Rinoa gasped and flung a hand up to her mouth in shock, whilst Squall still looked puzzled.

Dropping the hand down from her mouth, she said anxiously, "Is she okay? _Will she_ . . . I mean . . . she won't . . . _will she_?"

Rinoa couldn't bring herself to say the word 'die' as if the very uttering of it would bring about bad luck.

"I . . . don't know. Zell found her slumped in his doorway. She was still conscious and had a towel wrapped around her wrist, but . . ."

"But _what?_"

"There was a lot of blood . . . she was breathing really shallow and . . . she was having trouble keeping her eyes open."

Irvine shut his eyes briefly but opened them up again as fast as he could, because he kept getting images of Selphie gasping for air and hanging limply in his arms.

He looked over to Rinoa to see how she had taken it, and the answer was, not very well.

She was crying her eyes out onto Squalls leather jacket, as he stroked a gloved hand over her raven hair looking rather uncomfortable with what else to do.

A small ferry moved towards the dock, ringing its bell to signal its approach.

Irvine moved up the ramp and sat down on one of the wooden plank benches inside the boat, which were rather poor excuses for seats.

He looked over to see what his friends were doing.

Squall was still hugging Rinoa and appeared to be saying something to her. Shortly after that, she wiped her eyes and they both got onto the boat.

After around five minutes, the engine started and they began to move.

No-one spoke, no-one did anything.

The wind whipped against Rinoa's ivory face, making her cheeks flush a rosy red.

Her ebony hair lashed around her face, tangling it and messing it up, but she didn't seem to care. She was lost in thoughts for her friend. Finally she couldn't stand it and had to ask the one question that was nagging at her mind.

"Irvine?"

Irvine lifted his gaze up to where Rinoa was standing.

"What?"

She fiddled with her blue arm warmers and said uneasily, "Why did she do it?"

This question put him on the spot and he didn't like it. He knew Rinoa hadn't said "Was it because of you?" but he was in the frame of mind where he was blaming himself.

". . . Er, I'm not sure . . ." he lied.

"Oh."

Rinoa turned around and looked over the side of the ship watching it slice through waves and whip up ocean spray around them.

Irvine spoke up again, hating the silence.

"She was on anti-depressants."

Squall just looked at Irvine, but Rinoa turned around again and went to sit down next to him.

"She doesn't_ need_ them! Well . . . I didn't _think_ she did. How do you know?"

"I heard the Doctor say earlier, when we were in the infirmary."

"I never guessed she was suicidal."

Irvine frowned a bit. He hated that word, suicide. It seemed so final and it didn't go with Selphie at all.

"I always thought she was so . . . so . . _happy _. . . I guess things change."

Rinoa didn't want to bring up the subject of Irvine being an asshole to Selphie over the past couple of months, as she knew that everyone was feeling fragile and arguing was definitely out of the question.

After another ten minutes of silence, the ship pulled into Dollet waters and docked at the side. The hospital was right next to where the ship stopped and had a modern looking exterior.

Irvine walked through the automatic doors, not bothering to look behind him to see if his friends were following.

Running up to the counter, he asked a rather snobby looking receptionist with large glasses half way down her nose, where he could find Selphie Tilmitt.

The receptionist gave Irvine a look, then proceeded to flick through a piece of paper before finally telling him she was rushed to the A and E department, down the hall and turn right.

Irvine thanked her and walked briskly up the corridor. Rinoa ran after him, followed by Squall.

Upon turning the right corner as told to, there was a small waiting area with one or two people, and a rather downtrodden Zell sitting with his head in his hands.

Rinoa jogged over to him, making his head snap up suddenly and look up at her.

"Thought you were a doctor," he mumbled.

Rinoa wrapped her arms around Zell and gave him a hug. She could tell he had been crying because his aqua blue eyes looked slightly bloodshot.

Squall and Irvine sat down beside him, eager for news of their friend.

Zell sat up from his slouching position as Rinoa pulled away and went to kneel in front of him.

"They wouldn't let me go in with her," he said quietly.

Irvine lifted his hat up and asked, "Do you know how she is?"

"She . . . she passed out in the ambulance just before we arrived here. They were saying all these complicated things, then I heard them say her heart rate was faint and slowing down by the minute. I asked one of the Doctors if she'd pull through, but he said he didn't know."

Everyone was silent for a few minutes, and then Rinoa began to cry again.

Through sobs she managed to say, "she . . . she . . . _can't_ . . . die!"

Zell shook his head.

"Before they took her into that room over there-," he pointed to a closed door off to the left, "the doctors were talking about blood transfusions. But she lost so _much_ . . . how can they find the right type _and _get it all back in her before . . ."

Squall spoke up, "Look, don't worry, they know what they're doing, and this is a highly advanced hospital, I'm sure they've got blood stored somewhere."

Zell sighed, hoping his friend was right. Waiting outside the room where their friend could be dying was frustrating. She was so near, yet they weren't allowed to go in to see her and hold her hand. All that was left to do was wait for news of her condition, whether it be good or bad.


	10. Are you there?

**A/N: Sorry for taking a bit longer to update. I don't know what happens in a hospital when someone slit their wrists, or what happens with blood tranfusuions, so you're just gonna have to put up with the little knowledge I know. Enjoy . . **

"_Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love_ you_ enough."_

Zell, Irvine, Rinoa and Squall had been waiting around now for what seemed like hours. Irvine had had enough of being cooped up in the bland little room filled with a few grey chairs and paintings of flowers, a poor attempt to brighten up the gloom of which only a hospital could bring.

He got up and began pacing back and forth.

"I can't stand this. Why hasn't anyone told us how she is?" Irvine was getting visibly annoyed at the lack of staff around.

Zell lifted his head up from his hands and looked up at Irvine, but said nothing.

Squall got up and offered to go down to the reception area and enquire. Rinoa also went with him. She was much like a shadow to him at times and Zell wondered if Squall eve got annoyed with the brunette following him around.

With just Zell and Irvine together now, an uneasy silence filled the room. They had worked together perfectly when Selphie was in need a few hours back, but that was because other things were on their minds and there was no time for idol chat.

Now however, there seemed to be plenty of time to discuss things which should've been dealt with when it first began.

Zell stared at the sharpshooter until he bore an imaginary hole into his skull.

Irvine could feel his gaze upon him and knew almost definitely what was about to be said.

"Irvine?"

He looked over at the seated blonde. He'd never seen him with such a serious expression across his usually perky features.

Irvine leaned against the wall and waited for Zell to continue.

"Irvine . . . I don't wanna be harsh, 'coz we're all worried 'bout Selph, but . . . what exactly made you think you could be such a _dick_ to her and get away with it?"

The man in question tipped his cowboy hat back so he could settle his eyes on Zell.

"I never thought she was so . . . fragile."

"Is that** it??** What a lame answer. She only became like that since _you_ pissed off and treated her like _shit_!"

Zell kept his fists clenched tightly together on his knees, obviously irritated in a way that only he could get.

"Look, Zell, calm down. I'm not gonna talk if you're gonna sit there tensed up and angry."

The blonde frowned at him and was about to protest until he realised that he was actually getting agitated rather quickly. Unclenching his tightly balled fists, he took a deep breath – more like a sigh- then crossed his arms over his chest, looking up at Irvine, waiting to see if he'd say any more.

"That's better Zell. Where were we?"

"We were talking 'bout why you've been such a jerk."

Irvine looked over to the doors of the room in which Selphie was in, battling for her life.

"We were arguing a lot, and I mean about stupid petty things, it was like we were a couple, except we weren't-,"

"Pretty much _acted_ like one."

"Yup, arguments an' all. Sefie's one _helluva_ stubborn lady." He looked over to the doors again and let out a bit of a sigh.

"Anyway, she kept asking about all my previous girlfriends and our history and stuff . . ."

Zell looked at him blankly.

"Y'know . . . _sexual_ history?"

"Oh, right, carry on."

"She act all interested, and then afterwards, she'd blow her top and start calling me a slut. Hell, _she_ was the one who wanted to _know_, it's like she only wanted me to tell her for an excuse to go insane."

Zell sneered a little and snapped, "Don't say that!"

"Sorry . . . but why would she ask me if she knew it pissed her off?"

"Maybe she wanted to know if you'd slept with any hookers or if you had any STD's."

For a moment, Irvine thought Zell was joking, but he realised from his face that he was as sullen and serious as Squall.

A few moments of silence ensued after that. Rinoa and Squall still hadn't come back and the question still hadn't been answered, so Zell decided to push it some more.

"So . . . what was the deal with Celia and the others sluts?"

"I just wanted some fun . . . you can't tell me you never get _frustrated_ . . ."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't drop a lifetime friend for a quick screw with a blonde slag and her mates."

Irvine looked rather embarrassed.

"Yeah, well . . .** I** couldn't take it! Selphie would tease me so much and then she'd go _crazy_ at me if I tried anything on."

"Well, she's respectable, she's not the type of girl you can _click_ your fingers at and she'll do whatever you _want_."

"Look, I _know_ whatever I say isn't gonna make it justifiable, so what's the point? I'm sorry all right? I never liked Celia anyway."

"Too late for that, cowboy."

Irvine pushed himself away from the wall and walked over to Zell, trying to stay calm.

"Anyway, you two were always together, _laughing _and stuff. Whenever I use to come over to you guys at lunch, Selphie would give me this _'piss off'_ look, and you would just continue laughing at staring down her top."

"_The hell?!_ I've **never **stared down her top . . . . I don't see her in that way. I know you look a every woman as just another hole to fill, but some of us have respect you know!"

"Yeah, sure. I saw Selphie creeping into your room at night when you thought no-one was around, and she was hardly decent in that loose night shirt."

Zell looked confused. How did he know? Maybe Irvine was one of those guys who liked to walk around in the dark like a nocturnal creature.

"What the hell are you tryin' to say, _Kinneas_?"

"You're goin' around talking about _respect_ when you were probably giving her one each night on the sly."

"No! **NO** way was I! She came into my room at night because she was so upset with _**you**_ not being there for her. In case you failed to notice from you're late night pervin', she was actually _crying_ half the time she came to me and she was _always_ carrying that penguin with her."

Now it was Irvines turn to look confused.

"You've forgotten? You know, that stuffed toy penguin you brought her, holding a love heart saying somethin' on it?"

He remembered it now. He'd bought it for Selphie on Valentines Day because it read on the front, "Cutest girl in the world" and it felt so appropriate. The way her face had lit up when he gave her it was adorable, and it forever laid a mark on his heart.

_How could I forget that??_

"After the night I saw her going into your dorm, I thought that there was no point if she was foolin' around with you."

"Apart from she _wasn't_."

"Well I know that _now_."

"But you were goin' about with the slut group before she started coming into my room. How d'ya explain _that_, Irvine?"

Irvine began to look a bit flustered at all of Zell's questions.

"Well, erm, I was friends with Celia, Amber and Nichi when Sefie kept arguing all the time. She didn't like me going with them."

"I'm not surprised."

"Well, they were in one of my classes that none of my other friends were in. What was I s'pose to do? Sit on my _own_?"

"Yep. Woulda been the smartest thing to do if it was causin' arguments."

"**Look**, I didn't know she'd fucking try an' _kill herself_!!! If I knew how _unstable_ she was I would've put up with all her arguing and-,"

"She's not _unstable!_ She cares for you a lot. Can't you even _imagine_ how she felt when you pissed off without an explanation and befriended those sluts, who _teased her_ and _beat her_ up?? Didn't you see the way they'd look at her and how they'd shout things out? And what about that leaflet Celia printed that was full of bullshit?"

"I didn't know what to do! I was caught in the middle of them both. Yeah, I _know_ that Celia is a viscious bitch, and I did tell her to leave Sefie alone but that made things _worse_."

"Then why the hell did you stay with her?"

Irvine didn't answer. Still no sign of Rinoa and Squall. He prayed for them to come back so he didn't have to deal with this.

"Answer!"

"I . . ."

"That's right, you don't know. Still, you _were_ gettin' cheap sex off them every night, I s'pose that's _much_ more important than a best friend _soon-to-be_ girlfriend," Zell replied sarcastically.

Footsteps alerted them to the presence of their two friends, apart from now, Quistis was with them.

"Look who we found in reception," stated Squall monotonously.

Quistis ran over to Zell, who seemed to be the one most people were talking to.

"I came as soon as Doctor Kadowaki told me what happened. It's such a _shock_."

Zell nodded and asked Rinoa if she'd found out anything.

Rinoa pulled on a strand on jet black hair and shook her head.

"That snotty receptionist said she wasn't allowed to disclose information to people who weren't family members, and then when we said she didn't have any family, she wouldn't believe us and told us to go back and wait for a GP to tell us something."

Zell got up and mirrored Irvine by pacing up and down. A squeak from the creaking double doors made him snap his gaze up from the floor. A doctor dressed in a long white overall had come out of a small door at the side of the room Selphie was in.

Zell rushed over to the man before he could get away and asked uneasily, "_How is she?_ Is she okay? _Please_ say she's okay!"

The doctor, who held a clipboard in his hands, looked down at it. His glasses fell down his nose so he pushed them back up with one finger and replied, "We're talking about the patient Selphie Tilmitt I assume?"

A few of the group shouted out replies of yes. Everyone was now crowding around the doctor, waiting with a heavy heart about what he had to say.

"I've been informed that you are her friends, but since she has no family, I'm allowed to tell you. Miss Tilmitt's condition was rather unstable when you got her here. Her heart stopped beating for a few minutes, but thanks to our medics, we were able to get it going again."

"How is she now?" This came from Irvine.

"Well, we had to do some emergency transfusions, due to the amount of blood she lost through severing her main vein, although it wasn't as much as we expected because of the tourniquet someone had put around the wound. But now we're completely out of AB positive."

Most of the group looked rather blank until Quistis stated to them that it was a blood type.

"Luckily, she doesn't need any more blood," the doctor continued, "as her own red blood cells will produce the rest. She's conscious at the moment, but is extremely tired and will need to recover."

Zell let out a sigh of relief upon hearing that she was well.

"Can we go in and see her for a few minutes?"

The doctor hesitated at Zells request.

Rinoa and Quistis began asking in unison and chirping the word 'please' over and over again.

The doctor smiled and agreed, but only for ten minutes and only two at a time could go in.

Irvine decided to go last and on his own.

Zell and Quistis pushed open the large double doors and entered the brightly lit room.

It was medium sized and painted white with a blue border around the middle. All around it, there were various chrome trays with doctor's instruments on and a couple of machines, the uses of which were unknown.

In the middle of the room was a standard size hospital bed with Selphie laid out on her back in the middle, with white sheets up to her waist. Her eyes were shut tight; one of her arms was stretched out beside her and the other one resting upon her stomach. This one had a thick white bandage wrapped around her wrist, covering the wound she had made, although the ones on her upper arm were visible.

Quistis made a little noise, hardly audible, but Zell caught it.

They both walked over to Selphie.

"Hey Sef . . ."

The young girls eyes flickered open slowly, revealing that familiar green, although it seemed to have lost its usual sparkle.

"_Zell_?"

He smiled and fought back the urge to cry.

"Yup, it's me. Quistis is here too. How're you feelin'?"

". . . _Urgh_ . . ."

Quistis tittered a little at her response and leant down to hug her friend in a warm embrace.

"We were all so _worried_ about you, Selphie. We love you so much."

Zell took hold of Selphies hand and gave it a squeeze. Selphie looked at Zell, the corners of her eyes tilting up slightly with a small smile, and squeezed back.

Quistis said she was going to wait outside. Saying goodbye to Selphie, her eyes began to water a little and she wiped them on her sleeve before going back out to the others.

Selphie and Zell sat there in silence, their bodies connected by the holding of hands.

". . . _I'm sorry_. . ." Selphie said quietly.

Zell stroked her hazel coloured hair and answered, "You don't have to _apologise_ for feeling down, Sef. By the way, Squall, Rinoa and Irvine are outside too."

At the mention of this, she gave Zell another small smile. It was all she could manage, she ached all over.

"I should let them in now, or they'll start nagging and poking me for being so long."

Selphie reached up to Zell with her arms for a hug. He leaned down into them and told her he'd be back first thing in the morning.

After he walked out, Squall and Rinoa came in.

Rinoa rushed over to Selphie, her blue over-top flowing out behind her.

"_Selphie!!_ I'm so happy you didn't die!"

Squall frowned a little at her loud outburst and choice of words. He looked over at Rinoa, who was now clinging to Selphie and sobbing again.

"You don't know how good a friend you are to me. I was worried _sick_!"

Selphie hugged Rinoa back, grateful for making her feel needed.

Squall walked over to Rinoa and whispered, "Go lightly on her, will you?"

She nodded, wiped her eyes and pulled back from Selphie.

"The doctor said we have to let you rest, and that you've got to stay overnight. But when you're . . . recovered . . . or whatever, we'll go out and have some fun, okay?"

Selphie nodded weakly in approval and waved slightly as her friends walked out.

Outside, Zell was urging Irvine to go in.

"What if she doesn't wanna see me?"

"She does!! Get in there before I kick your ass!"

Irvine sighed and walked through the double doors.

He stopped at the end of the bed.

Selphie had shut her eyes again but she opened one of them when she heard familiar boot falls on the floor.

Irvine re-positioned his hat on his head and walked over to her. He felt awkward and didn't know what to say.

"So . . . erm . . . how you feelin'?"

Selphie looked up at him towering over her. He was edged by the bright lights behind him, so all she could really make out was a silhouette.

". . . _Can you sit down_?"

Irvine did perched himself on the side of the hospital bed, making sure he didn't sit on any part of Selphie.

She reached out for the glass of water by her bedside, but as she went to pick it up, she realised it put a strain on her wrist.

"I'll get that for you."

Irvine picked it up and handed it to her other hand. He waited till she'd finished drinking and then put it back on the side.

"_You don't have to be here you know. I can tell you're uneasy_."

"I _wanna _be here, Sefie. I just . . ."

Selphie just continued staring up at him with her jade green eyes. Her stare made the guilt rise in him.

"I know how much of a _jerk _I've been to you. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have acted like I did just because we were having arguments."

". . . _Damage's kinda done already, Irvy_. . ." Selphie glanced down at her bandaged wrist then looked up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry."

Selphie didn't say anything but shut her eyes instead.

_Sleeping beauty._

Irvine knew he was treading on eggshells here, but he leant down and gave her a hug, lifting her up slightly.

Selphie enjoyed the feel of him again, but she was still angry and she couldn't let it go just like that, it wasn't in her nature.

Irvine stroked Selphies hair, much liked Zell had done, but after, he grazed her soft cheek with his lips and kissed her.

This sent a shock wave through Selphie, and left the skin on her cheek tingly with where he'd planted a kiss on her.

". . . _Those lips have been on Celia . . ._" She said coldly.

Irvine released his hug on her. She'd made him feel guilty again and she had a right to. It was true.

"How many times do I have to say I'm _sorry_ Sefie?"

". . . _Until I'm convinced that you mean it_ . . ."


	11. Still missing you

__

------

"_They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now."_

The next morning, Zell was caught sneaking out of Garden by one of the disciplinary committee, who forced him to go to Instructor Aki's class.

'_Man, Selphies gonna think I lied about goin' to see her. I wonder how she is?'_

**"Mr Dincht!"**

Zell snapped his head up and came back to the present to be faced with an irritated Instructor Aki.

"Would you kindly **pay attention!**"

Zell said nothing but slumped back into his desk and stared at the empty seat next to him. He didn't feel like arguing today. All he wanted to do was go and see his friend.

Some how, half of Garden had already heard about what happened to Selphie. People treated it like a piece of juicy gossip waiting to be spread around.

Zell yawned, tired from last night, and looked around the class. Squall was sitting at the back with a couple of other people he didn't know. Up at the front were Celia, Amber and Nichi pretending to pay attention and be good, when they were really reading fashion magazines under the desk and laughing at other people.

'_How childish . . .'_

Zell was tempted to put his head down on the desk, but he knew that would only earn him another written warning for being 'rude', which at the end of the year added up and got points taken off tests and field exams.

Before he knew it, the lesson was over and he was free to do as he wished. As he walked out of the door and down the hall, he spotted Irvine crowded by none other than Celia and crew.

As Zell stomped towards him, he realised that Irvine wasn't actually talking to them; in fact, he was trying to get away from them.

"What are you doin' around these_ prostitutes_, Irvine?"

Celia turned around and placed her hands on her supermodel thin hips.

"Who do you think you're calling prostitutes, _Dincht?!_"

"Erm, let me see . . . _you_ perhaps?" he retorted mockingly.

Celia's mouth hang open for a second before she closed it back up and flicked her long blonde hair behind her back.

Turning his attention to the other two girls, he frowned at looking up at Irvine whilst giggling and talking about people.

Irvine rolled his eyes at Zell and mouthed 'help'.

"Look, girls, I really don't need this. Don't talk about people, it's not nice, and it'll come back to you three times as worse," he stated, trying to edge his way out of the circle they'd locked him in.

"Don't be _ridiculous!_ No one would ever talk about us . . . unless of course they were saying how_ beautiful_ and _talented_ we are . . ."

Nichi laughed and linked her arm through Amber's, who was swirling her tongue around on a pink lollipop and looking up at Irvine.

"Besides, _Irvy_," Celia continued whilst giving Zell a filthy look, "It's fun to talk about people."

Celia turned to Zell and strutted nearer to him.

"Heard what poor little Selphie did to herself. For a moment I almost felt guilty . . . _almost_. Ha!"

Zell turned on his heel and began to walk off.

Celia looked exasperated, "Well, aren't you going to _react?!_"

Zell continued walking but shouted out, "**Nope** . . . Irvine, come on . . ."

Irvine pushed Amber and Nichi out of the way, much to their annoyance, but Celia grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Where do you think _you're_ going, Irvy?"

"None of your business. Get off me, would'ya?"

Instead of waiting to her to release her grip, he simply yanked his arm free from it.

"Ow! You broke my _nail_ you _idiot!_"

_"What tragedy!"_ Irvine shot over his shoulder, feigning horror.

--------------------------------------

Zell and Irvine stopped outside the door the Selphies hospital room.

"Erm, should we knock or just go in?"

Zell bit on one of his fingernails, looking unsure.

"Let's just go in."

Selphie was sitting up in bed with a magazine on her lap. She looked much better than she did last night, but dark lines surrounded the underneath of her eyes and her hair looked un-brushed. She was also dressed in a regulatory pale green hospital gown, with a slit down the back, although that was concealed by her lying back on the propped up pillows.

"I thought I heard you two out there."

Zell smiled and pulled up a grey padded chair to the side of the hospital bed.

"Sorry I'm late."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, I said I'd come first thing, but I got caught sneakin' out and had to go to Aki's lesson."

When Irvine was looking away, Selphie pulled Zell close to her and whispered, "_What's he doing here_?"

"I thought you'd _want _him to come?"

Selphie shrugged and let go of her friend just as Irvine turned back from whatever he was finding so interesting.

She gazed up at him and smiled sweetly.

Irvine, not being able to resist, winked at her.

"How are you then Sef?"

"Urgh . . . tired . . . and _sore_."

Selphie looked at her bandaged wrist and sighed. When she glanced back up at Irvine, he was staring at something with a weird look in his eyes.

She followed his gaze and realised he was focusing on the results of her previous cutting sessions. Her arm looked awful so she quickly pulled down her gown sleeve.

Irvine hadn't ever seen them before and was rather shocked when he did. He couldn't believe that one person could harbour the emotion to turn a razor against themselves.

Zell noticed what had happened and decided to draw the attention to something else.

"So, can we bundle you outta this place or what?"

Selphie turned her head slowly to look at Zell and silently thanked him.

"The doc said I've got to stay in for a few hours more to check the stitches and change the bandages and have a talk with me."

Irvine pushed into the conversation.

"A talk? What _about_?"

Selphie glanced at her wrist and looked back up with a renewed sadness in her eyes.

"Probably about why I'm in here."

Zell stroked her hair, then realised that Irvine might get the wrong idea again, so he ruffled it up in a playful manner in an attempt to cheer his friend up.

"**Hey**!"

"_What?_ It was already messy anyway."

"Yeah, but I've gotta get back to Garden looking like this."

"So you gonna walk back there in that _oh-so-trendy_ green gown with your _ass_ hanging out the back?"

Irvine began to pay attention again upon hearing this; he always gave his full concentration when anything rude was being said, especially anything involving naked women.

"You _wish_ Zell. The doc said he'd bring my clothes in when I'm due to go."

Selphies mind began to wander as quietness filled the stuffy room.

_'Why did I do it? I didn't really want to die . . . did I? Nothing's ever that bad . . . is it?'_

Her memory took her back to last night, the very moment before she had tried to take her life. She saw in vivid detail the razor slicing through her skin and hitting the veins . . . and then the blood spilling from her, her life source draining away.

Selphie clamped her eyes shut and brought her hands harshly up to her face, as if they would hide her from this horrible flashback.

Irvine looked at Zell as if to say, 'what-the-hell-just-happened?'

Zell reached up to Selphies hands and pried them gently away from her face.

She had been silently crying, her eyes filling up with tears, then spilling over and filling up again.

"Are you okay?"

Zell felt like an idiot as soon as he asked that question.

_'Of course she's not okay, you dumbass!'_

Selphie nodded her head up and down, making the tears that had collected on the bottom of her face, fall off and make small wet patches on her gown. She didn't want to talk about what just happened in front of Irvine; afraid of what he might think of her and who he might tell.

Selphie dried her eyes as a nurse with short red hair and a fair complexion came into the room, with Selphies clothes bundled in her arms.

She smiled as she handed them over and said that the doctor would be there soon.

Irvine and Zell waited outside the door as Selphie changed back into the clothes she came in wearing.

Selphie rooted around in her pocket for her yellow glittery compact mirror.

_'Oh god I look awful . . .'_

She fingered the bags around her eyes and challenged her sticking up hair by smoothing it down with her hands.

_'No wonder Irvine was staring. Oh, why do you even _care_? He's still been an _arsehole_ to you . . . I know, but I _need_ him . . . stop thinking like this!! Argh!'_

Selphie walked out of the confining hospital room, still arguing with her conscience.

"Miss Tilmitt?"

The doctor who had been monitoring since her stay was standing with Zell and Irvine, clipboard in hand.

"I'll need to check that the stitches have stayed in before you leave. Would you please follow me?"

"We'll wait for you here, Sef," Zell said, shuffling a little on his feet.

Up the corridor was another small room, but it was painted blue and had fresh lilies in one corner.

The doctor told her to take a seat and told her to hold out her wrist.

He carefully began to un-wrap the bandage that had been applied last night.

Selphie winced as the layer closest to her skin pulled a little at her cut, but finally came off with ease.

"Ahh good, the stitches are okay. _Right_, you'll have to come back to get these taken out in a certain amount of weeks. There's a letter being sent to you soon with all the details, you know, when, where, how to keep the wound clean _etcetera_ . . ."

Selphie couldn't stop herself from looking down at her wrist.

She grimaced at it. It looked red and sore around the edges, until you came to the stitches, which made it look like some sort of weird form of Cornish pasty. You could tell it had leaked in the night because there was a little dried blood and other substances around it.

Selphie looked away.

"Will this scar me for life?"

The doctor pushed his glasses back up his nose and offered a sympathetic, almost trained look.

"I'm afraid it probably will. But no need to worry, people aren't as judgemental these days. I am rather concerned with what _drove_ you to do this . . ."

"I . . . don't know," Selphie half lied. She knew it had something to do with Irvine, but she still didn't know why she had gone so far.

"We have trained counsellors here, and psychiatrists if you ever-,"

"I'm not _crazy_!" Selphie interrupted him.

The doctor looked a bit startled as he finished bandaging her wrist.

"No, no of course not, I was just-,"

"_Well don't_! Can I leave now?"

"Erm, by all means, yes."

"Good."

Selphie left the room in a huff as she walked her way back down the where Zell and Irvine were standing.

"I wanna go," she stated, standing in front of them, clearly moody about something.

---------------------------------------------------------

As soon as Selphie got back to garden, she was greeted by Rinoa, who gave her a huge hug and held her hand tightly.

"Oohh, I _missed _you!"

"I've only been gone for, like, a night and half a day."

Rinoa screwed up her face a bit, "Yeah, but I care you know! Who _else_ can I talk to about girly stuff . . .?"

Selphie sighed but then smiled, "You can always go to Zell. He loves hearing about women's problems and what you get up to with Squall."

Zell turned his head and pulled a disgusted face.

". . . What?! _Ergh!_ Get away!"

Rinoa laughed and poked him in the side whilst still clinging to Selphie.

"Hey, I'm goin' to the training centre. Catch ya later ladies."

The two girls walked down the hallway, looking back when Zell shouted out, "**Sef, I'll come by your dorm later!**"

Rinoa nudged Selphie and winked.

"_Huh?_ NO!!"

"Only _joking!_ Are you telling me you don't find him_ cute_?"

"**No**! Well . . . He _is_ cute, but not in that way, plus I . . ."

She stopped talking as she noticed Irvine walking down the hall towards them, stopped in front of them and tipped his hat.

"Feelin' good, Sefie?"

" . . . Er, I guess I'm alright. Are you?"

"Yup."

An awkward silence followed, until Celia and her friends came running down the hall, squealing and cooing at Irvine.

He sighed and looked sheepishly at Selphie.

"_Uh, save me_," he said under his breath, "Sorry, gotta run."

Rinoa frowned at the advancing blondes and one ebony haired girl as they ran after Irvine, who was clearly trying to get away from them.

As Celia passed the two girls by, she shot them a look to make them feel as if they shouldn't be there, then continued running after Irvine with her friends.

Rinoa tutted, unlinked from Selphie and stood staring down the hall at Celia's running form.

"Who does **she** think **she** _is?!_"

Selphie sighed and began to miss Irvine again. She remembered when they used to chase each other down the halls of Balamb garden. Sometimes they would get caught by passing instructors and get told of for not acting their age.

_'Irvine **was** running away from her though . . .'_

Rinoa was still at her side, getting herself into a tizzy over how rude Celia was to fellow students.

"_Rin?_ Can you please calm down for a bit?"

The young girl flipped her black hair, tinted with a few strands of honey blonde, furiously behind her shoulders.

"I'm sorry Selphie. It's just . . . _Argh_, I hate that Celia so _much!_ I can't believe Irvine even looked _twice_ at her!"

Again, Selphie sighed. It was becoming as instinctive as breathing to her now.

"That's the problem Rinoa . . . he _didn't_ look twice."

The two girls linked arms again and continued walking down the near empty corridors, lost in thoughts only they would ever know about.

**A/N: Okay, so Celia didn't get what she deserves in this chapter, but that doesn't mean she'll get off easy. Hehe. .**


	12. Know your enemy

**A/N: Okay, so maybe i've made you guys wait a bit longer for this chapter, but it wasn't intentional. Hope it was worth the wait . . . **

"_Where you used to be there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in daytime, and falling into at night."_

Selphie unlocked the door to her room and stepped inside.

Everything was just as it had been the last time she saw it. She had a paranoid feeling in the hospital that someone would go through her stuff for 'incriminating evidence' as to why she felt the way she did.

Not that there _was _any 'evidence'. All that led her to do as she did was in her mind. All the feelings, the anger and the hurt. In the end, they all just swirled into one big emotion and tormented her every waking moment.

Selphie sat down on the edge of the bed, the old mattress springs groaning as if in pain under her light weight. She squinted her eyes down at her one bandaged wrist and wondered how people have the guts and strength to slit both of them once they've done one.

_It's not about **guts** . . . it's about how much you hurt and how badly you want things to go away . . . _

Her lids became heavy with sleep, so she lay back on her bed and willingly gave in to the sleep that encased her.

---------------------------------------

The training centre was rather empty around evening time. Most people were either studying for upcoming tests, out clubbing or getting ready for dates.

That was the main reason Zell always went at the same time every other night. He liked to unwind by killing the various beasts that dwelled in the vicinity, imagining that each one was someone he hated, mainly Seifer.

As he layed a double punch and a single drop kick into yet another grat, he wondered how many demons Selphie must be fighting in the hidden depths of her mind.

His combating became automatic as three bite bugs hissed in approach and formed a shaky circle, trying to close him in.

Zell began to think back to when he found Selphie slumped outside his room. He'd been shocked a great deal. It was so unexpected.

_Heh, Selphie always did have that element of surprise goin' on._

Before going to sprawl out on the floor due to exhaustion from punching and kicking, Zell looked around to see if there were any more creatures moving towards him.

Seeing none, he dropped down to the ground; sitting with his legs spread out in front of him, and wiped his brow free from sweat.

_I still never expected her to do something so . . . drastic. I wonder if she really wanted to die._

Off to the right and slightly behind him, some of the leafy overgrowth near the 'secret make-out room' began to rustle.

Zell sprang to his feet in one swift movement, bringing his fists out in front of him, ready to encounter whatever was coming his way.

However, he didn't expect the monster that emerged.

It was Celia.

"**Dincht!** I've been looking for_ you_!"

"In the bushes?" Zell said, nonchalantly.

"**Shut up**!" she spat with hatred. "What have you been saying to Irvine about me?"

Zell puts his fists down by his side and answered coolly, "Oh just that, _y'know_, he might catch something if he keeps goin' with a slut like _you_."

Celia's mouth dropped open, as if catching flies, before she snapped.

"I fucking **hate **you Dincht! You _better _not even _talk_ to Irvy anymore or else I'll-,"

"You'll _what_?" Zell interrupted her, getting rather fired up. "You're all _talk_ Celia. Just about all you can do is spread rumours, gossip and ruin people's lives. You're even goin' about ruinin' people's _eyesight _with that hideous face of yours."

Celia took a leggy step towards Zell and stopped in front of him, with her hands low down on her hips.

"You really are a short lil' thing aren't you? It's rather pitiful."

Zell hated people commenting on his size, so this remark made him particularly angry.

"_Get lost Celia_," he said through gritted teeth, telling himself to stay calm.

"Aww, have I upset you?_ Sooo_ sorry," Celia brimmed with sarcasm.

Running a hand through his spiky blonde mane, Zell forced himself to put his back to her and walk out. After managing to get a few steps from Celia, she said with a spite filled voice, "Are you goin' back to your dorm so you can **slit your wrists** like your _loser _girlfriend?"

Zell stopped dead in his tracks and spun around again, fists clenched tightly together by his sides.

"She's not my girlfriend, and she's NOT a loser, you **bitch**!"

Celia smiled with the satisfaction of finally getting to him.

"Oh, of _course_ not. Poor, _poor_ Selphie Tilmitt, we _must_ look after her and treat her like porcelain. You never know when she might try and _kill herself_ again. Ha, she couldn't even get _that _right!"

"Shut up, you **heartless cow**!!"

Naturally, the more Zell responded like this, the more Celia was likely to say things.

But, this time, she said nothing. Instead she slipped a red marker pen out of her tight jean pocket and proceeded to draw a red line across her wrist.

"**Look **Zell! I'm_ Selphie_!"

Before he knew entirely what he was doing, Zell lunged for Celia.

Normally, he wouldn't hit a girl, he wouldn't even do anything to make them cry, but Celia wasn't even human in his eyes.

She wasn't quick enough to block out his first hit, which landed against her right shoulder. Yelping in pain, she turned her attention to Zell, snarling with anger.

Celia was trained in a few weapons, mainly the crescent wish, but not to the full extent of most people. Hand to hand combat was her weakest method. She never studied any of her weapons properly, so never really knew how to get the most out of them.

Zell did a half turn, brought his leg up and landed a sharp kick in Celia's stomach; not hard enough to knock out her air, but hard enough to make her fall over.

She fell backwards onto her behind with a hard thump. Whilst down on the floor, she kicked off her Manolo Blahnik high heels (which were by no means suitable to fight in) and got back up onto her feet.

Zell had stood there shadowboxing and watching what Celia was doing.

"So, you wanna fight, Dincht? Let's see how well you do with _dirty fighting_."

Upon speaking this last word, she shot her leg out, aiming for Zell's crotch.

With a few seconds to spare, he back stepped lithely out of the way of Celia's impending heel and offered her a cheeky grin.

"_**Bastard**_!"

"Really?" Zell raced in towards her, pretending to go for her face. Naturally, she raised her hands to block, but Zell punched her again in the stomach and hooked his foot around her ankle, causing her to go crashing to the ground.

Zell was well aware that he could get suspended or even expelled for this kind of fighting, but Celia had pushed him to the edge with all of her nasty comments.

_She had it comin'_

Celia was now on her hands and knees, not facing her fighting partner's direction. Of course she was too stupid to realise that this was a bad mistake if there ever was one.

Zell rolled one of his sleeves back up, which had fallen down sometime during his scuffle with the blonde bully, and advanced towards her without any hurry.

Celia was still on her hands and knees, her straight blonde hair falling over her face.

Zell stood behind her and placed one foot lightly on her rump.

This made her turn her head around and spit out, "What the _hell_ are you _doing _**Dincht?!**"

He just looked at her and pushed his foot, making her fall forward onto her front and into the training centre soil, which was littered with Grat and Bite Bug faeces.

"_Ergh_! _You _. . . _**you** **wanker**_!"

Celia slowly pushed herself up onto her haunches and looked down at her dress, which was now stained brown and yellow in some places.

She looked utterly horrified when she saw this.

"_**NO!!**_ Look what you've done!! This dress is a**_ Christian Dior_**!!"

Zell stood looking blankly down at her.

"That means absolutely_ nothin' _to me."

With that, he turned and walked out of the training centre, but not before picking up Celia's high heels and throwing them back at her.

"_**Ow!**_ Dincht, you _freak_!"

----------------------------------------------------

After Zell had gone back to his dorm, taken a shower and put on some clean clothes, he went across to Selphies room.

He tapped his knuckles twice against the wooden door and waited for a reply.

"Yo, Sef, it's me. _Open up_."

From inside he heard a groan and what sounded like the creaking of bed springs.

"It's already open."

Zell turned the door knob and found it was indeed unlocked.

Selphie was lying on her side on the bed, facing away from her friend.

He approached her and asked if she was okay.

Selphie sighed, not meaning for it to be so loud. She quickly covered it up by replying, "Er . . . had a few nightmares . . . I'm okay."

Zell absentmindedly got hold of one of Selphies small hands and began playing with her fingers.

"Wanna go somewhere for a bite?"

"_Hnn_."

"What's _'Hnnn'_ s'pose to mean?"

"Uh, don't know. Who else is going?"

"Just Rin and Squall . . . and _erm_ . . . Irvine wanted to come along . . . but if you don't wanna go now, then that's okay, we'll just buy some food and bring it back here, then you wont have to see him, unless of course you _want_ to in which case-,"

"Zell . . . you're waffling."

He brought his free hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed, somewhat embarrassed about his tendency to talk a whole load of nothing.

"_Right_. So . . . you comin'?"

"Just let me go make myself look presentable."

As Selphie attempted to get out of her bed, the sunshine yellow sheets had her feet and legs tangled up down towards the bottom of the mattress.

Zell found this particularly funny as he watched her try and free herself.

Hearing his stifled laughter, Selphie shot him an evil look, tinged with the slightest bit of mischief in her green eyes.

"Some _help_ would be nice!"

"Sorry," the blonde said, whilst still laughing.

He reached out and unwrapped Selphies feet from the confinements of the blankets.

"Maybe if you didn't have such _massive _feet, Sef . . ."

"I do **_NOT_** have massive feet!"

Selphie picked up her soft feather pillow and whacked it around Zells head, then when he freed her feet, she kicked him lightly on the thigh.

"That's for laughing at me."

She smiled at him before bouncing off the bed and heading towards her wardrobe.

Selphie then remembered something and turned around, her face slightly downcast.

"Um, Zell, could you do me a favour?"

"Yup, what is it?"

"Oh, no, it doesn't matter, it's gross. I'll do it myself." Selphie turned back around and continued looking through her clothes.

"_Hey_, what is it?"

Zell got up off of Selphies bed and walked over to her, resting his chin on her shoulder and looking up at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Tell _meee_."

Selphie stayed in the same position she was in as Zell removed himself from her and leaned against the side of the wardrobe.

"I . . . _er_, I was just wondering if . . . you'd change my bandage because _I_ don't wanna look at what's underneath it, but then again, I don't suppose_ you_ would either, so . . . don't worry."

"I'll do it for ya."

Selphie turned around in his general direction, but looked at the floor instead of her friend.

"You're only saying that to be nice. You're really thinking, _'Urgh I don't wanna go near that'_."

Zell laughed. "Nah. Where do you keep your bandages and stuff?"

"In the bathroom. It'd probably be easier to go in there."

Zell opened the door knob to her bathroom before she even finished what she was saying.

_Mmm, smells like Selphie in here . . . Shut up you weirdo . . ._

Leaning down and unhooking the latch on the bathroom cabinet, he reached in and brought out some fluffy white bandages along with some liquid the doctor had given Selphie to apply daily.

As Zell was going to shut the latch, a silver tin fell out and clattered to the floor.

He picked it up and looked at it.

"_Don't open that!_ _Give me it_."

Zell had already begun to open the tin up, so it was too late. His inquisitive nature always did get him in trouble, especially back in the orphanage.

Inside were about four razors, each of different size, layed out next to each other on a slightly bloodied tissue.

He looked up at Selphie with a forlorn expression on his face. She simply looked to the floor.

"_Selphie_, I thought you'd stopped."

"Well . . . I . . . er . . . **fuck off!!**"

She immediately felt bad for saying that to the one friend who probably cared the most for her, but she didn't apologise. Instead she turned and ran out the bathroom and flung herself onto her bed.

Zell walked out after her, putting the tin back where he found it. After all, it wasn't his place to throw them away or hide them.

_Damn, I've made her cry . . ._

"Sef . . ."

He placed a hand on her quaking back.

"Look, I'm not gonna say anything. If you feel the need to do it, then who am_ I_ to stop you."

Selphie turned around and sat up into Zell's arms. He gave her a friendly squeeze.

"Come on, don't cry, you'll make _me_ start."

She laughed and wiped her eyes dry.

"Sorry I told you to . . . _you know_."

"Ah, that's okay. Feel free to tell me to _F' off_ anytime you want. Can I put this fresh bandage on you now?"

"You sound almost _eager_."

"Well, I don't want it to go rotten. Your hand might turn green, decompose and fall off."

"Gross. Why do you have to be so _visual_?"

"Comes in handy."

"Typical guy."

Zell unwrapped Selphies old bandage carefully and dabbed at her wrist gently with the prescribed liquid antiseptic. She flinched a little, so he stopped and re-applied the new bandage.

"There we go."

Selphie half smiled at him, "Thanks Zell."

"_S'okay_. Now go and get your ass into whatever you're wearing, or else we'll be late."

The brunette walked back over to her wardrobe, picked out something casual and went to change in the bathroom. Whilst in there, she re-applied her mascara.

When she was done, she stepped out.

"Okay, ready to go now."

"Lookin' good."

"Oh _shush_."

Selphie had put on a bright yellow t-shirt top, which clung in all the right places and had a v neck, along with some stonewash denims, which were tight at the top and massively flared at the knees downwards.

"Irvines gonna get _sprung_ when he see's you."

"_What?!_ **Zell!** Don't be so _crude_. Plus these are my _casual_ clothes. I didn't dress up to impress anyone."

Zell rolled his eyes and followed his friend out of the door.

**A/N: More Celia smashing to come. . . if you want more that is.**


	13. Short fuse

**A/N: Took longer to update, alot of college work and had writers block, sorry! To whom was wondering: Characters are usually in their SeeD uniforms during the day, but after hours, they are in their own clothes, which would explain in the previous chapter why Celia had a Dior dress on . . . .**

"_Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces."_

--

Squall, Rinoa and Irvine were already sitting in the café when Zell and Selphie walked in.

"_Over here guys_!!" Rinoa said with a smile, waving her hand in the air.

Selphie wasn't sure if Zell did this on purpose, but he went over to the waitress at the front bar to order something, leaving Selphie no other choice than to slide into the conjoined seat next to Irvine.

He didn't move his arm, which was draped over the seat back casually. It looked like a poor attempt to make moves on Selphie, but she knew it wasn't; this was just how he sat all the time.

Rinoa beamed at Selphie, "How are you feeling girly?"

"I guess I'm okay. The drugs that doctor gave me are making me really tired. I don't look stoned do I?"

Rinoa laughed, "No, you look _fab_ . . . doesn't she Irvine?"

Selphie silently cursed her friend for this. Rinoa didn't know she was doing any harm; bless her, but the last person Selphie wanted to talk to was Irvine.

It was like she was back at the beginning again, afraid to talk to the cowboy in case she blushed or hiccupped or sneezed.

Irvine turned his head slowly to the right and scanned Selphie, resting his eyes maybe a bit too long on her chest.

"Yup. Nice top. Didn't realise you had such big boo-, _ow!_ Rinoa!"

Rinoa had kicked Irvines leg under the table before he could finish his sentence.

"Don't be such a _pervert_!"

Squall piped up at this. "He can't help it if he likes to stare at women's breasts."

Rinoa elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't _encourage_ him!"

"Why? What's wrong with what he's doing? I look at _yours _all the time."

Selphie giggled at Squalls unexpected response as Zell walked over and sat next to her.

"Whatcha all talkin' bout?"

"_Boobs_," came Irvines undignified response.

"Wicked"

Selphie turned to look at Zell with an 'I'm-not-impressed' look in her eyes, whilst Rinoa slapped Irvines hat off his head.

"Hey _hey_! Don't touch the hat!"

Rinoa rolled her eyes and said, "I'm sorry. Squall and Irvine were drinking before they came out."

"Yeah, where were _you_, Zell?" Irvine asked, tilting his head and reapplying his hat.

"Erm . . . . Not sure."

Zell knew very well where he was when Irvine and Squall were boozing.

_Sorry I couldn't come along guys; I was fighting with Celia in the trainin' centre._

The blonde was still contemplating over whether he should mention it to Selphie or not.

"OH! _Selphie_!" screeched Rinoa, pulling Zell out of his thoughts.

"I saw this dress the other day that would look _fantastic _on you! It's black with these mesh kinda see through arm sleeves. I think it's about as long as your yellow dress and-,"

"Is it tight?" Irvine interrupted the girls fashion conversation.

Selphie took a chance and turned to look at Irvine. Unbeknown to her, he had been looking in her direction for some time.

Jade green eyes met up with indigo fused with grey, holding a gaze that seemed to last forever.

_Why is he looking at me?_

Becoming nervous, she tore her eyes away from his quickly, before she drowned in the swirls of blue and violet and glanced towards her other friends.

Rinoa and Squall were mock-arguing about something petty, Zell was looking at the red-headed waitress coming over with their food and Selphie was pretty sure that Irvine was still gawking at her. That is until the red head placed the food down on the table, bending down rather provocatively in front of him, not caring about how much cleavage her low top was showing.

Selphie watched the two of them, and saw the way Irvine licked his lips when the waitress walked off with an extra wiggle in her hips.

She couldn't help but feel a pang of annoyance and maybe a little jealousy.

"_What a slut_," Selphie murmured, more in Zells direction than anyone else's.

She thought he was too busy stuffing his mouth with one of his mustard smothered hotdogs for him to pay any attention, but he looked at her intently.

After swallowing what he had in his mouth, he said, "Who's a slut, Irvine or the waitress?"

"_Both_," Selphie replied sullenly.

Zell looked over to Rinoa, who was stabbing her fork into a baked potato whilst shooting death glares in Irvines direction.

_Seems like he's gettin' on everyone's nerves . . ._

"Rin, are you gonna eat that or just kill it slowly?" Zell asked the ebony haired girl.

Rinoa looked across the table at him.

"Oh, didn't realise anyone was actually_ watching_ me." A blush crept slowly over her face.

Squall rolled his eyes, Selphie giggled (realising she had been doing the same thing to her salad) and Zell had already gone back to devouring his food.

Irvine on the other hand was still eating, but also staring at Selphie, with no particular emotion in his eyes.

Selphie could see him by looking out of the corner of her eye. Finally, it began getting to her. She swiftly turned to face him.

"What's your _problem?!_"

Irvine continued looking at her, hoisting an eyebrow, as if wondering what had caused the teenagers' outburst. Zell cast a worried glance over to Rinoa. Squall simply stopped eating, hovering his double cheeseburger in mid-air.

"Why do you keep _staring_ at me? Do I have something on my face?"

Irvine smirked a bit, re-adjusted his hat and then shrugged.

Selphie gritted her teeth and swatted him in the stomach.

"Answer _**me!**_"

"Woah! Calm it, lady."

"You make me _**so mad**_, Irvine!!"

Rinoa decided to speak up after this comment, "She's right. You piss me off too."

Selphie cast a small thank-you smile in her friend's direction.

"It's a free country; I can stare at you when I want."

Zell frowned at how arrogant that sounded, coming from Irvines mouth.

"Look man, don't tease the girls."

Rinoa shot one last _'boys-are-stupid'_ glare in Irvines direction before getting back to her food.

Selphie didn't really feel hungry anymore, not that she did in the first place.

_I wish I'd never come . . ._

Zell nudged her leg with his.

"Are you okay?"

Selphie nodded in reply.

"OOH!" Rinoa chirped, "Let's all go to the beach tomorrow! We've all got a day free!"

"Im up for it," Zell replied. Squall nodded.

"Can I come, princess?" This came from Irvine.

"Oh . . . okay. But don't start _any_ fights. Are you going to join us, Selph?"

Recognising the pleading in Rinoa's eyes, she reluctantly agreed.

"Great. I'll ask Quistis too. _OH_, and bring your swim stuff!"

_Big whoop. They all get to ogle at my cuts . . ._

--------------------------------------------------------

Selphie lay in her bed, unable to sleep for what seemed the hundredth time that month.

Glancing over at her yellow sunshine shaped alarm clock, she realised that it was around two 'o' clock in the morning.

Groaning, she found herself getting up, grabbing her stuffed toy penguin and making her way over to Zells dorm room. She hadn't done this lately and found herself wondering if Zell liked it better without her interrupting his sleep.

However, when he opened up his door and smiled at her, all her reservations melted away.

"I can't sleep," Selphie said, still standing in his doorway, her hair ruffled and her large nightshirt swamping her petite form.

Zell himself was standing there clad in only a pair of black boxer shorts and wondered what this midnight meeting would look like to student's late home from drunken partying. Literally shaking the thoughts out of his head, he told Selphie to come inside.

"Did I wake you up?"

"_Nah,_ haven't even been in bed yet."

Selphie pouted, "So that means you haven't warmed it up for me?"

Zell laughed and threw back his bed covers, getting in rather ungracefully, Selphie following close behind.

"_Zelllllll, its cold!!!_"

"Oh, shush."

Zell was still in thought over what happened in the training centre earlier, until Selphie placed her feet on his legs.

"_**AH!**_ Hey, they're cold Sef!"

She simply laughed a bit and left her feet where they were, looking up at her blonde friend, who hadn't yet snuggled down, but was half sitting up.

"What are you thinking?"

Zell rubbed the back of his neck and shifted around a bit.

"_Er_ . . . Don't be mad at me when I tell you this, _but_ . . ."

He looked down at Selphie, who had now turned to lay on her front, her arms propping up her head, waiting for him to continue.

". . . I had a run in with Celia in the training centre, before we went to Balamb town for food . . . and I sorta . . . beat her up . . . just a bit."

Zell could of sworn he saw some sort of wicked smile form on Selphies lips before she spoke.

"Why would I be _mad_ at you for beating up my main bully?"

"Ah, I don't know. You're always going on about me not_ thinkin_' and how I _shouldn't_ solve things with my fists."

"Yeah, but this is different. I'm glad you did it . . . thank-you."

"Erm. S'okay. She was makin' fun of you cuttin' and stuff, so I kinda couldn't stop myself."

He watched the way Selphie's eyes seemed to drop down in sadness and immediately knew he shouldn't have mentioned her problem.

"_Heey_ . . . don't go all sad on me."

"Sorry," adding a fake smile, "Are you going to the beach tomorrow . . . technically today . . ."

"Yup, you?"

Selphie pulled at her fingers, making the joints pop.

"Not sure."

"Oh, _go on._ Don't let the fact that Irvines goin' ruin things."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

Selphie looked into Zells blue eyes.

"I . . . _uh _. . . don't want people to see me in my bikini."

"Why? You looked _great_ in it last time we went."

_He can be so dense sometimes . . ._

"The scars and cuts . . . people will . . . stare, I don't think I can handle that."

"Ah."

_Is that all he's got to say?_

Zell pulled her into a hug, somewhat clumsily under the bed sheets.

"Well, you don't hav'ta wear it. You could just wear a top with the bikini bottoms or something if you wanna cover up."

Selphie said nothing but continued sighing into his side.

"I know for a fact that Irvine thinks you look great in it . . ."

_Oops, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned him . . ._

"He does?"

"Yup."

"Oh. Maybe I shouldn't have freaked at him today."

"Well, he _was_ being kinda rude staring at you for so long . . . I told you he'd get sprung."

"_Huh?_ Shut up!"

Zell turned his bed side light out and settled down for sleep. After about five minutes of laying in the dark, focusing on the strip of light under Zells door, Selphie spoke again.

"Zell . . .?"

"Wha?"

"Do you think he still likes me?"

"Sure."

"Then, what was he _doing_ with_ Celia_ and the other two? And why does he still _flirt_ with other women if he likes _me_?"

"Because that's who he is. And as for the Celia thing, who knows, maybe he was going through a stage where he only liked to screw bitches."

Selphie turned to lie on her side, away from Zell, and also moved further to the edge of the bed.

Zell mentally smacked himself for, once again, speaking without thinking.

"Uh . . . sorry selph."

"Sorry for what? Reminding me that he _touched_ those sluts and that I'll never be able to forget it, even if I _do_ end up with him? _No problem_."

Zell noted the sarcastic, vicious underlying tone in her voice and decided it'd be better off to just let her fall asleep in a mood, than risk digging an even bigger hole.


	14. Drowning

A/N: Inspiration for the end section of this chapter goes to pink monkey, thanks.

_"Treasure each other in the recognition that we do not know how long we shall have each other."_

Zell awoke with a start due to the soft summer wind coming in without permission from his open window. It swept over his bare chest and arms gently; giving him goose bumps despite the warmth of the hot sun peeping in at him through his curtains. He silently cursed himself for being a light sleeper when morning struck. It was only when he turned his head to see if Selphie was awake yet, that he realised she was no longer next to him in his bed.

_Maybe she's in the bathroom . . ._

Yawning slightly, he called out for her. No reply. Getting up reluctantly, he walked over to shut his window, the bright sun blinding him for a split second before he went to knock on the closed bathroom door.

"Sef? You in there?"

Still no reply.

Zell began to get worried and panicked a bit, his heart beat becoming more rapid.

_What if she . . . _

Turning the handle, he found the door was unlocked. He also found that Selphie wasn't actually in his bathroom.

Zell felt relieved but also baffled. In the back of his mind, he almost thought that Selphie might've been slumped on the floor in a pool of blood, gasping for air.

_Where is she?_

Scratching the back of his neck in thought, he remembered that he'd said something last night to piss her off, and vaguely remembered seeing her shadowed form creep out of his room in the early hours.

Zell decided there would be no point in going back to bed, as he was now fully awake and by one glance at his clock, it seemed he had half an hour to meet Rinoa, Squall, Irvine, Selphie and Quistis down by the front gate for their trip to the beach.

After much rooting around through his top drawer, Zell pulled out his swim shorts from underneath a various array of other items. They were black and baggy, with small blue flames stitched around the bottom of the leg in intricate detail.

After slipping them on underneath his trousers, he went to wash and generally do morning stuff in the bathroom. Grabbing a shoulder bag, he stuffed his large fluffy towel into it, along with sunglasses, his Mp3 player and his snorkelling mask, deciding it could be fun.

Zell felt he ought to knock on Selphies door, but upon realising he was already five minutes or so late, chose not to and instead sped it down to the front gates.

He was met by a group of people, all with beach bags. They didn't seem to mind him being late, well, all apart from Quistis.

"Zell!" She stood with her hands on her hips, "You are such a bad time keeper! I can't ever recall a time when you've _not_ kept us waiting!"

"Keep ya knickers on, I'm here now, aren't I, Miss Bossy?"

Quistis looked for something to say back to the impertinent blonde but gave up and settled into an altogether calmer mood now that everyone had turned up.

"Can we go now?" said an impatient Rinoa, tugging at Squalls side, seeing as they were taking his rental car. Not waiting for a reply, they all piled into the old, rusty looking vehicle, which Squall had already removed from the parking lot and placed in front of Balamb Garden.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dammit, I forgot everyone comes to the beach on their day off," stated Zell with a hint of disappointment as he looked out of the car window.

The beach they had picked was a rather large one just off the edges of Balamb, free from fastitocalon F creatures, with almost white sand and a bluer than blue ocean. The group didn't have much trouble finding an adequate space amongst the other garden students, who were too busy screaming and having fun with each other to notice anyone else. Rinoa and Quistis placed their oversized beach towels on the hot golden sand beneath them and proceeded to rub sun cream on each others back in turn. Naturally, Irvine was staring at them, intrigued and somewhat turned on by this act of female friendship.

Selphie had placed herself on the sand, sitting with her knees loosely bent and her arms resting around her knees. She was nearest to Zell and as far away as possible from Irvine. Although something inside her told her to go and sit next to him, she didn't. Sitting unusually quiet, she surveyed her friends one by one.

Rinoa and Quistis had stripped down and now lay clad in only their bikinis, Rinoa's being black and a bit too revealing, Quistis' being red with a tie neck. They were simply lying there, sunning themselves and gossiping about something Selphie couldn't quite hear from her position.

Squall was sitting on a blue rental deckchair, placed a little ways over from Rinoa. He had on a white t shirt with black ¾ length shorts, which reminded Selphie of the kind Zell would often wear. Squall appeared to be staring towards the ocean, but you couldn't really tell because he had on these big black ski type sunglasses, which reflected almost everything.

Next came Irvine. He wasn't on a chair or a towel, just sprawled out on the sand in between Squall and Zell. He had on a pair of black swim shorts with sunglasses he'd slotted down the waistband, and his hat which was pulled down over his eyes, probably so no-one could see the girls he was obviously lusting after. Selphie found herself lingering over his bare chest. The way the sun appeared to bounce off his lightly tanned skin seemed to hold a magnetism of its own, forbidding Selphie to look away. His chest wasn't overly toned, but it was enough to catch any girls' attention. Only did she turn away from Irvine when Zell appeared to say something to her.

He stared at her expectantly for an answer, but she didn't know what she said, so just stared blankly back at him.

"Hm?"

Zell rolled his eyes and grinned widely.

"I_ said_ . . . are you gonna take off you're top or just sit there staring at Irvine?"

"I wasn't-"

"You don't hav'ta explain to me Sef, you can stare at who ya want."

"I know, but . . . oh shove it."

"Shove what where?" Zell wiggled his eyebrows at his brunette friend, fully expecting the elbow he got thrust into his stomach. After this, Selphie looked around to see if anyone was concentrating on her, then whipped off her loose top and mini skirt, revealing a cute yellow bikini.

"Whoo! Strip strip strip!"

Selphie frowned at Zell, making her features scrunch up, "Shut up! Pervert!" She leapt at her blonde friend to make his loud mouth shut up for once. Selphie grabbed his neck in a head lock and clasped her hand over his mouth. Zell tried to laugh, but couldn't do it properly thanks to the hand shutting him up, so it came out in a sort of snort mixed with a squeak. This made Squall look up from whatever he was concentrating on and stare at the hyperactive blonde squirming near him.

Selphie abruptly let go of Zell, pushing him back onto his towel. She didn't want any attention when she was scantily clad. Not that she was shy or embarrassed, just conscious of where eyes might be wondering to, for example, her arm.

"Um, Zell," Selphie began quietly, "Can I borrow your button up shirt so I can put it on over my bikini top?"

"Sure . . . but . . . maybe you should go ask Irvine, I mean, he might get the wrong idea if he sees you in my shirt, coz it's kind of a girlfriendy thing to do and-,"

Selphie glanced over in the direction of where Irvine was laying and began contemplating Zells words. Feeling a burst of braveness in the attitude more like her old self, she walked lightly over to the cowboy and stood above him. No-one but Zell was watching, and even he looked away when Selphie gave him the right kind of look.

Sensing a shadow had fallen over him; Irvine lifted his cowboy hat a little way off his eyes and squinted up into the silhouette rimmed with golden light above him.

Selphie crouched down in front of him, uneasy of his gaze.

"Um, hi Irvine."

"Hey, how's it goin'?"

"Fine . . . yeah, I was wondering . . ."

_Oh Gods, this is gonna sound so stupid, he'll think I'm such a dumb freak. Yeah as if he doesn't already . . . This was Zells idea, why the hell did I listen to him?_

While Selphies thoughts were waging war in her head, she realised that Irvine was still waiting for her to say something.

"You were wonderin' . . . what?"

"Oh, um, ah forget it . . ."

As she was about to get back into a standing position, Irvine placed his hand on her bad arm. He traced the lines of her cuts, as if they were a thing of beauty and not something that should disgust him.

_What's he doing?_

"Do you wanna borrow my shirt Sefie? You might get sun burnt or something; I know how sensitive pale skin is . . ."

"Uh . . . okay. Thanks."

"You look great by the way."

Selphie sat there in front of him, mesmerized yet again by enigmatic eyes.

_How did he know what I wanted? Maybe he didn't. Probably just guessed. Yep._

"Thanks . . ."

She picked up Irvine's black button up short sleeved shirt and placed it on herself. On Irvine, it was tight and clung to his chest, but on Selphie it was large like her nightshirt and the sleeves came down to her elbows.

Walking back to Zell slowly, she fiddled with one of the shirts brown buttons.

Sitting back down next to Zell, she noticed Rinoa and Quistis were gone.

"Hey, where'd they go?" she asked, pointing in the direction of where the girls stuff lay.

"Went into the sea with the beach ball, I think. They were gonna ask you but then Rinoa said, and I quote, 'she's getting bizaay with Irvine'."

"Ooo-kay. Was he looking at me when I walked back here?"

"Yep, well, more your ass cheeks than you, but then again, any guy would do that. Even Squall."

Upon the mention of his name, the sullen brunette looked down his sunglasses at Zell.

"What was that?"

"Ahh nothin', go chase after Rinoa."

"I don't _do_ the chasing, Zell, she does."

Selphie leaned her head on the arm of Squalls deck chair.

"So are you saying that it's the _girls'_ job? Because if you are, then that's_ so_ sexist of you."

Zell laughed, "Don't get on the wrong side of Selphie, man; she'll cut your nuts off if you disagree with _anything_ she says."

"In that case, she cut _yours_ off ages ago."

Selphie left the two boys to talk and went for a walk along the somewhat busy beach, half attempting to spot her girl friends. Walking into the surf, she tried to look for them amongst the people playing in the sea. Giving up, she simply decided to walk the length of the beach, letting the end of mini blue waves slosh at her feet, making them sink into the ashen sand.

Concentrating on this and not paying attention to where she was going, Selphie bumped into a rather large figure and almost fell back until the person grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her back to her feet, preventing a long trip down to the ground. Selphie let out a yelp. Whoever saved her from the small amount of pain that falling would've caused, they gave her a great deal more by grabbing hold of her bandaged wrist.

Selphie looked at the person in front of her and came face to face with Seifer, that famous Almasy smirk plastered across his face.

"Well, aren't you going to thank me?"

"No."

"Now _that's_ not very nice."

"_Bite me_."

Selphie tried to step aside so she could keep walking her route, but Seifer also side stepped so he was back in front of her again.

"Heard you had a bit of a _mental_ problem . . . fell on a razor did you?"

"Get lost Seifer."

"Make me."

"What's your _problem_?"

"No problem. Where's the chicken, maybe I can start a fight with him, I'm feeling a bit bored and you're no fun."

"I can be fun, just not with _dick heads_ like you, and don't even think about going to pick on Zell."

"Got himself a little body guard has he?_ How quaint_."

"Oh, _piss _off! Get outta my way!"

"Fiery one, aren't you?"

"I don't need this."

Selphie turned around and walked away from Seifer at a quick pace, not that she was scared of him; she just knew who his friends were, and didn't want to run into them today.

Feeling rather hurt from Seifers cruel words, she was about to give up searching for Rinoa and Quistis when she saw them splashing around, waist deep in the ocean, with a red, yellow and blue beach ball.

Selphie began to wade in when she realised that she would be getting Irvine's shirt wet in the process. Taking the two ends of it, she tied it up into a bow just below her chest, making it into a crop top.

Rinoa spotted her coming towards them and shouted, "_Catch!_", whilst throwing the ball in Selphies direction. The brunette did as she was told instantly and caught the oversized inflatable ball before it sailed over her head.

"WE saw you_ talking_ to Irvine! How's he being with you now?" Rinoa flicked her raven hair over one of her shoulders and took the ball out of Selphies hands.

"He's . . . a bit weird. I don't know. It's odd talking to him now."

Quistis paddled over to the two girls, never one to stand by and let people gossip without her.

Rinoa hung her arm loosely around Selphie and asked, "Do you think you two will _ever_ get back to how you were?"

"I don't know . . . he let me borrow his shirt," Selphies mouth upturned in one corner in a sort of smile. Rinoa returned it with a huge grin and jumped up and down in an excited girly way, making water splosh around her waist.

Quistis frowned a little at her ebony haired friend, probably due to her spraying sea water accidentally onto her face.

"Anyway, let's not talk about him, there're _loads_ of sexy guys out today. It's like, _everywhere _you turn, you come face to face with a _total hottie_!"

"Aren't you with Squall?" Quistis pointed out.

"OH, _blah_, I'm only window shopping."

Selphie giggled as Quistis blurted out, "_OH_, what about him. He's pretty cute . . ."

The other girls followed their honey blonde friends' gaze until they came to a rather tall, rather built blonde.

"Euw, _Quisty_! That's Seifer!" Rinoa stated.

"I _know_ that . . . "

Quistis received the oddest look from Selphie, making her feel somewhat embarrassed and small.

"Well, _I _think he's cute! And Rinoa, you can't talk, you used to date him."

Rinoa flicked her hair behind her shoulders, even though it wasn't exactly falling into her face in the first place.

"In that case, you'd be getting sloppy seconds!"

This comment made Quistis shower Rinoa in a mass of sea water in one swift movement of her arms. Naturally, this made all war break loose, in a water fight sense.

In any other mood, Selphie would've joined in, but she felt far too filled with thoughts and questions over Irvine to be doing something so frivolous. Instead, she told Rinoa that she was going for a swim, and that's exactly what she did.

Diving smoothly underwater a little way from her friends, she swam off to the side and re surfaced a few strokes later, continuing to swim above water.

Being a SeeD, Selphie was a strong swimmer, able to do so for hours, and had good eyesight underwater.

Not really swimming with any destination in mind, she found herself back in the area of water in which she had run into trouble with Seifer. This half of the beach was generally considered the assholes side. It was where the bimbos and jocks of Garden seemed to hang out.

Putting her feet down on the sand ground below her, Selphie found that the water came level with her chest.

_Phew, thought I was in deeper_.

On this particular beach, people were warned not to go any deeper than over head level, as unknown species of creatures often resided further into the ocean.

What Selphie didn't notice whilst standing there, were the three predators that were slowly swimming towards her.

She got a fright when they lurched up inches in front of her face, trapping her in a small triangle.

"Selphie, aren't you a bit out of your range?" The blonde hissed with a malicious undertone.

It was Celia, unsurprisingly accompanied by her two lap dogs, Amber and Nichi.

"I think she is. . ." Amber piped up.

Nichi glared at Selphie.

"She seems to have wondered into _our_ section of the beach."

Selphie felt unnaturally brave around them and said, "You don't own the beach, I can go where I want."

Celia gave Selphie a pitying look and placed her hands on her hips, in her trademark stance.

"_Honey_," she said mockingly, "This part of the beach is for the _beautiful_ people . . . and sweetheart, you've got to realise . . . you just _aint _beautiful."

Nichi laughed, "Oh don't Cel, she might go and slit her wrists again."

"_Boo hoo_."

Selphie tried to ignore them and break out of the little trap they had her in, but to no avail.

Celia pushed her back and toyed with the edge of Selphies shirt sleeve.

"Hey, this _is Irvine's_ shirt . . . why have _you_ got it on?"

Selphie didn't know what to say so just kept quiet.

"I asked you a question you little_ freak_!"

Afraid that her voice would come out in a whisper, Selphie cleared her throat quietly and said, looking her enemy in the eye, "He gave it to me . . . because he thought I'd get sunburnt."

For reasons unknown to Selphie, all three girls broke out into laughter around her. Cruel, mocking laughs that echoed through her brain, ones that she knew would stay there for years to come.

"Irvine's gone all _soppy_ on us, girls. Well at least we still know he gives a good performance in bed, judging on last nights escapades."

Selphies stomach jumped upon hearing this.

_So . . . all that ignoring them in the hallways . . . that's just an act? Does he really go crawling back to them at night? NO! He's not like that . . . he can't be. _

Selphie was pulled out of her thoughts by the feeling of someone lifting up her sleeve and ripping the bandages away.

"So _this_ is what you do in your spare time, you sick freak."

Looking over Celia's shoulder towards the beach, she searched for someone she knew to help her out of this mess. All she could see was Seifer, who was watching with great intent as if it was a movie, face plastered with his ever present smirk.

Selphie felt a hand snake through her hair at the back and grab a handful of it, yanking her head back sharply.

She cried out in pain, but still no-one around her even bothered looking at what was going on.

Celia placed her hands on Selphies shoulders.

"You can't just go around _taking_ other peoples men. Irvine's _ours_ now."

The bitchy blonde pushed down on Selphies shoulders, as Amber kicked her feet out and Nichi yanked at the handful of hair, pulling her backwards and under the water.

Selphie made the mistake of crying out just after she went under water. Brackish sea water filled her mouth, making her choke and panic. Her arms flailed about aimlessly, grabbing at nothing. She probably could've held her breath for quite a while in this position had she not opened her mouth, denying her lungs of air and filling them instead with dirty water.

Somebody must've seen all the commotion, but no-one came; not even the life guard.

Selphies lungs were fit to explode and burned for air. She fought for all she was worth to get to the surface, but with three skilled fighters atop her, found it almost impossible.

All she could hear was the rumbling sound of water in her ears and muffled laughs coming from Celia, Amber and Nichi. With all the kicking Selphie was doing, she got worn out rather fast but never once gave up trying to fight her way out of the water. Once or twice she would come close and then get pushed beneath for a second time, only her legs managing to fly up in the air and then splash down violently again.

Selphies underwater vision began to get a little darker and her head started to spin with the need for air. Before her eyes shut and her struggling came to a minimum, she heard a kafuffle above her, along with yelps and splashing and the release of the holds on her.

She felt herself sinking until legs brushed against her and a pair of strong arms reached into the water and lifted her out. Selphie wasn't ever aware of being taken back to shore, she only remembered being in the water, the next minute, she was on land with Irvine's lips on hers and his hand tilting her chin upwards. It was only when she began to breathe and cough up water did she realise that he wasn't kissing her, he was in fact reviving her the old fashioned way.

As Selphies vision went back to being almost normal, she saw all her friends peering down at her with worried expressions on their faces.

She tried to sit up, but got gently pushed back down by Irvine.

Maybe she still needed air in her lungs, but at that moment in time, nothing looked more beautiful to her than the sight of him, rimmed with light, looking down at her with care and some other emotion she couldn't quite read.

His large hand was still placed softly upon her shoulder. Selphie gazed up at him.

"I got your shirt all wet . . ."

Irvine laughed.

"You honestly think I care about that?"

Selphie didn't say anything but turned her eyes away from him.

Zell crouched down next to her and gave her a small hug.

"So much for trying to hide my cuts from people."

"Maybe we should go back now. . ."

"No! I don't wanna ruin everything. I'll just sunbathe for the rest of the day. I'll be fine. Please?"

"Well, if you wanna . . . come on, lets go back to our space."

Selphie got up slowly and tilted her head at Irvine, puzzled at his behaviour,whilst Zell led her back to their stuff. She decided that she would go and visit him later and make a proper attempt to talk, no matter how hard or daunting it may seem . . .


	15. This life is never fair

**A/n: Thanks to all reviewers. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

"_We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment, or say good-bye just one last time, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can't turn the hourglass over."_

__

The group stayed on the beach until late evening, when the sun was starting to hide behind clouds, sending out a dusky pink and golden glow over the water. Well, all apart from Quistis. She got restless and began to worry about some papers she hadn't marked, so had left earlier than the others.

Only a few people remained on the beach now, making it altogether a quieter and more peaceful place.

Squall and Rinoa had gone down to where the tide was going in, to sit and hold hands whilst watching the last rays of sunlight peep through the clouds. Zell was sitting up on his towel, making a hot dog out of sand and Irvine had gone off to get drinks from the snack bar at the other end of the beach. Selphie simply sat watching Zell tackle his problem of trying to make fake food items with the crumbly sand.

"Zell, are you hungry or something?"

The tattooed blonde glanced at Selphie, looking sheepish, "Uh, no . . ."

Brushing his sandy hands on his shorts, he turned to lay on his front, hands propping up his head and big blue eyes staring at Selphie.

She began to get self conscious, as she usually did when a guy looked at her for too long, even if that guy was one of her best friends.

"What?" she asked, fidgeting with her loose yellow t shirt she had put back on over her bikini.

"Nothin'" Zell continued staring at her.

"_What?!_"

Zell turned over again to lie on his back, not one for keeping the same position for an extensive amount of time. Although he was no longer paying attention to Selphie, it still bugged her why he was in the first place, so she reached over and twisted one of his nipples.

"Ow! _Shit_ . . . you really know how to _turn me onnn_ . . ."

Selphie sat back on her haunches and gave her friend an appalled look before slowly shuffling away from him.

"_Hey!_ I was only _jokin'_ . . . don't sweat it," Zell whined.

She turned her head away from him, pretending to be in a mood. He moved nearer her, still laying down, and placed his head on her lap, giving her puppy-dog eyes.

"You _love_ me really . . ."

Selphie looked down at Zells head resting on her crossed legs and smiled. In the distance, a figure was coming towards them. It was Irvine. Zell got up quickly, startling Selphie in the process. He leapt to his feet and jogged over to his male friend, taking one of the drinks out of his hand. Zell said something and Irvine laughed, but Selphie couldn't hear exactly what had been exchanged.

She tensed up a little when Irvine seemed to be coming in her direction. A few seconds later he was standing in front of her, holding out a bottle of mineral water to her.

Selphie looked up at him, a tad confused.

"Oh, I didn't ask you to get me a drink."

"Yeah, I know that, I jus' thought with all the sea water you swallowed today, maybe you should have a drink, y'know, in case you're dehydrated."

"Oh . . . thank-you," Selphie said as she took the drink out of Irvine's hands.

He fixed his eyes on her and gave one of his smiles that never failed to make Selphie feel all warm inside and always managed to melt away all her doubts.

"Er . . . can I sit down with you?"

_Shit shit shit._

"Yeah, sure."

_What the heck am I supposed to say? And where the hell did Zell go? Zell if you can read my thoughts, then come over here!_

Selphie looked around and spotted Zell down by Squall and Rinoa, picking up rocks and skimming them into remaining tide that was left.

"The sun sure looks pretty, doesn't it?"

Irvine's deep voice startled Selphie; she only hoped he hadn't seen her jump out of her skin.

"Yeah, it is . . ." _wish I had someone to share it with . . ._

"Are you okay now? Not feelin' dizzy or sick?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Just a bit shaken still, I guess. It's not everyday someone tries to_ kill_ you."

"I'm sure they weren't trying to_ kill_ you . . ."

_Why is he sticking up for them?!_

"But, if you do start feelin' sick or anything, then tell me straight away _okay_? There's a lot of bacteria in that water, don't want you gettin' ill."

Selphie stared at him for a split second; he appeared to be looking out towards where the sun was setting. This might've been romantic for her, had the current situation of them not getting along lately been so apparent.

"_Um_ . . . Irvy . . ."

Irvine tipped his hat back from his eyes, so it wasn't obstructing his view of Selphie. He gazed lazily into her large emerald green eyes. This made her feel sad. She longed for this strangely tranquil connection with him to last forever.

"What was it you wanted to say, Sefie?"

Selphie looked down at her hands clasped together on her lap. She smiled to herself, pretending that just for a moment, none of this had ever happened. She never really lost Irvine, she didn't slit her wrist and he didn't sleep with Celia and her crew. That nagging voice in the back of her head wouldn't let her enjoy this make-believe for long though.

_It _did_ happen . . . all of it, every last little bit of it._

"I just . . . wanted to thank you. For, like, _saving me_ . . . and stuff."

Selphie desperately wanted to ask him a million questions on the subject of Celia and him, but she held back, not wanting to ruin the first moment they'd gotten together without anyone barging in.

"That's okay, darlin'."

She smiled, but then reminded herself that he called almost everyone darling, even Squall, much to his annoyance.

"Got into a bit of a scuffle with Seifer before hand though. Sick bastard seemed to enjoy watching what was happening to you."

Selphie hung her head. She must've been looking pretty sorry for herself, because even Irvine noticed she'd gone down yet another notch in the happiness department.

"_Hey_, what's the hang-dog expression for?"

"_Everyone seems to hate me_ . . ." she mumbled, more to herself than the cowboy seated next to her.

Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a warm embrace.

"You're a _very_ misunderstood lady, Sef," he whispered in her ear, his breath making her hair stir and tickle the side of her neck.

It was very hard for Selphie not to lose herself and sink into his chest, savoring the feel of his body, and think that everything was okay again. But it wasn't. There was still the issue of Celia, Amber and Nichi. When thinking of this, Selphie pulled away from Irvine, suddenly shuddering inwardly at his touch. Had those hands _really_ been on Celia? Had those lips_ really_ kissed her? Had they _really_ . . .

Irvine wasn't as dumb as to not know something had suddenly made Selphie feel uncomfortable. It was written all over the way she had sharply pulled away from his friendly hug and folded her arms over her chest.

"Okay . . . I only hugged you, Sefie."

_And kissed other girls, and slept with other girls, and broke my heart._

Selphie got up from her sitting position and hugged her arms around herself. The wind had picked up a bit, throwing her hair in various directions, and pushing her loose t-shirt against her curves. She could see Zell in the distance annoying Rinoa and very much feel Irvine's eyes on her, thinking she was oblivious as she stared at her other friends.

Selphie wanted to walk away, but her legs wouldn't let her move.

_He _did_ kinda save your life . . . cheesy as it is . . ._

She looked down at him and met his eyes.

"Selphie . . ."

_Huh? Oh great, he's gone all Mr. Serious on me._

"Selphie . . . we need to sort this out."

"I don't want to talk about it Irvine."

"You never _do_! I've tried to apologize but-,"

"Do you still _fuck_ them?"

This question caught Irvine off guard. Selphie even shocked herself for asking it, but was glad she'd got it out.

"_Answer_ me then, Mr. _'I-dumped-my-best-friend-for-an-easy-lay'_."

"That's kind of private, Sefie."

Selphie balled her fists together and let them fall down to her sides, leaving her T shirt to be thrown every which way by the evening wind.

"NO! Don't even _give_ me that. I mean,_ geez Irvine_, if you were frustrated then you could've just . . . but _no_, you had to. . ."

_No no no, don't cry, don't do it in front of him._

Selphie turned away from him and found herself running down the beach, away from Irvine. She stopped at the lapping edge of the diminishing tide, breathing heavily and holding back tears which were fit to burst.

Zell turned around from tormenting Rinoa, spotted Selphie and tiptoed up to her.

_"BOO!"_

Selphie didn't flinch, she just stared out towards the sun on the horizon, looking but not seeing.

"Go away, Zell."

"Uh . . . okay. _Sorry_."

Zell turned to walk slowly back to Squall and Rinoa, looking scorned and dejected.

Selphie thought she wanted to be alone, but when Zell was halfway towards his destination, she realized it hurt more without a friend around.

"_Zell_," she called out quietly. He stopped and turned to face her.

Selphie held her arms out to beckon him for a hug, her chin beginning to shake, signaling that she couldn't hold back tears that wanted to be set free.

The blonde bounded towards her, looking concerned as he stepped into her open arms and put his own around her heaving shoulders.

"I'm guessing its Irvine, right?"

Selphie didn't answer him, too intent on finding comfort from the warmth radiating from Zells body. After about five minutes of this, Selphie stopped crying so heavily and looked up from under Zells chin, which was where she happened to burrow into every time she cried.

"I wanna go back now. Can you ask Squall for me?"

"Yup, _sure_. Wanna come with?"

Selphie looked back to where she last saw Irvine. He wasn't there anymore.

"Okay."

Squall and Rinoa agreed to leave the beach, saying that it was getting cold and darkness would soon fall. Naturally, someone had to go and find Irvine. Zell volunteered to, even though Selphie clearly opposed to this idea, showing it by clinging onto Zells arm as he tried to walk off.

"Selphie, _someone's _gotta find him. We can't leave him here.

"I don't see why not . . ." she pouted as Zell walked in the direction of the beach café.

He guessed that this was the only place he could've slinked off to. He was right.

As Zell pushed open the door, ringing a little bell at the top, he saw Irvine sitting on a table in the corner talking to some brunette girl in a white halter top, holding a milkshake and nibbling on the straw. It looked innocent enough, so Zell didn't judge his friend this time.

"Hey, Irvine . . . We're off now. Comin'?

Irvine looked up from talking to the brunette girl and turned to face Zells direction.

He said something Zell couldn't make out to the girl, then slid off the table and ambled over to where the martial artist stood waiting.

"Who's she?"

Irvine followed Zell out of the door and said nonchalantly, "Oh, I don't know, just started talking to her."

Zell looked over at Irvine with an eyebrow hoisted as they continued walking towards where Squalls rental car was parked.

"What? Why're you _lookin' _at me like that?"

"You've got to stop chatting to _every_ hot girl you see."

"Why? Just coz _you're _Mr. Shy when it comes to them."

"Am _not_ . . . You're just upsetting Sef a lot by doing so."

"Everything's like walkin' on eggshells with her, Zell. _Anything_ I do is going to upset the girl. I've almost _given_ _up _trying to resolve things.

Zell stopped and stood in front of his friend.

"No no no. _Nooo _you don't. You gotta keep_ trying_ Irvine. I know how much you mean to her. If you hadn't made all those _mistakes_ this-,"

"Hey, I didn't make _any_ mistakes. It's not as if we were_ goin'_ out or nothing. I just wanted a bit of fun."

"Are you _blind?_ You were practically a _couple!_ You never let go of each other, you were always together and laughing, then one day, _poof_, you float off and target the three worst girls in Garden."

"What the_ heck_ am I s'pose to do about it? What's done is done, and yeah it might've been a mistake but I can't get through to Sefie one way or the other. Every time I try, she'll end up _sobbing_ into _your _chest."

"Has it not ever occurred to you that maybe _you_ should be the one to comfort her?"

Irvine never replied back to this and a few seconds later, they were at the car, getting in ready to go. Squall driving, Rinoa up front next to him, Zell, Selphie and Irvine in the back, sandwiched together.

The silence in the vehicle was deafening, so Rinoa turned around and began to talk to Selphie.

"How're you feeling hun?"

Selphie didn't feel like answering her, but did, because she didn't want to offend her companion. After all, she was only being nice.

"_Uh_, I'm okay. Sleepy, still kind of in shock I guess."

"Oh, poor babe. I can't believe those _bitches_ did that. And _Seifer!_ What an ass wipe!"

At the mention of Seifer, a quiet, almost inaudible grunt came out of Squall by her side.

Rinoa ignored him and stared at Irvine in a way that made him squirm around in his seat.

"Hey, quit _movin'_ man, its annoyin'", Zell said with a slight frown screwing up his tattooed face. The sharpshooter obeyed his friend but still had Rinoa's gaze on him. It wasn't often that a lady would make him feel almost petrified, but the raven haired beauty had it down to a T.

She only stopped what she was doing when Squall reached a hand off the steering wheel and tugged at her top, signaling that she should sit down properly in her seat.

Irvine breathed a silent sigh of relief, thanking Squall in his head for taking her gaze off him. He stole a glance over at Selphie, who was sitting on the other side of Zell, looking intently out of the window, watching the scenery rush by.

_Has it not ever occurred to you that maybe_ you_ should be the one to comfort her?_

Zells words passed through Irvine's thoughts as he sat and looked at the girl who used to be so carefree. Yet now, she seemed laden down with far too many troubles, her shoulders slumped as if she carried the weight of the world. She had tell-tale bags under her eyes which told of sleepless nights and a mind that worked over time on trying to sort out her problems. Problems a teenager shouldn't have.

If Rinoa's stare had the intention of making him feel guilty, it worked pretty well.

Irvine took his eyes off of Selphie and sank lower into his seat, wanting the ground to open up and swallow him whole for the misery he had caused her.


	16. False hopes?

"_Have you ever had that feeling? That itch just below the skin that only a razor blade can scratch . . ."_

The next day Selphie spent most of her time at her assigned study station on the computer. Quistis had excused her from all of her lessons, due to yesterday's incident, insisting that she get some rest, much to Selphies annoyance. If she couldn't sleep at night, then she most definitely couldn't sleep during the day.

Instead, she had logged onto the Balamb Garden network and checked up on the festival. The term dance was coming up soon. Normally, Selphie would've been ecstatic, running around and bothering everyone about remembering to turn up, but right now, you would've gotten more excitement out of a stone. She clicked out of that page, deciding that her own typed words of '_remember to bring a parrrdner_!' at the bottom of the page, were depressing her even more.

Selphie sighed. She had typed that sitting on Irvine's lap when they first got the page up and running. He kept bashing on the keyboard and typing rude obscenities about what he'd like to do to her. Neither of them noticed Instructor Aki standing behind them. They had gotten into trouble for that and had been put in the disciplinary committee's room for an hour each.

She couldn't help but smile ever so slightly at this memory, yet it wasn't for long when she realized he was no longer by her side. Selphie clicked into her email inbox, trying to find anything to read to take her mind off Irvine. All she could find was a cheesy forward from Zell about how boys are better than girls and a message from Quistis.

She clicked open the latter one, expecting it to be a message asking how she was, is she up to date with work, etc. But what she found was very different. In fact, it wasn't Quistis at all that had emailed her. Somebody had hacked her account, that somebody being none other than Irvine . . .

_**From: Q. Trepe **_

_**To: Selphie T **_

_**Subject: (none) Time sent: 13:08**_

_Heyy Sefie,_

_First off, I should probably say this isn't Quistis. It's Irvine (don't hit the delete button!) She let me use her account to email you, seeing as I heard from Zell that you blocked me. Urh, gee don't really know why I'm messaging you. Whenever I try to talk to you face to face, I always end up making you cry. I didn't realize that my sunshine girl _could_ cry. And I never thought I'd be the one to provoke it. I've heard from Zell how upset you are. Don't go getting mad at him, because I guess we were having a man to man talk at the time._

_Sooo, I suppose the whole point of this message is to say . . . do you want to meet up and go somewhere out of town? Just to talk, I mean. Maybe that place with all the cherry blossom trees. I know you love that place. Meet me outside classroom 1F at 2:00. Please?_

_Irvine xxx_

Heart pounding, Selphie sat staring at the screen for a few minutes, wondering if it was some sort of joke, but then came to the quick conclusion that it wasn't. Turning off her work station, she picked up her notebook and glanced at the clock on the wall behind her.

01: 37.

Just enough time to go back to her room and freshen up a bit.

Walking along the corridor, Selphie repeated bits of the message over and over in her head, while staring absent-mindedly into space, paying absolutely no attention to the "_danger, wet floor_" sign placed a few steps away.

She walked straight into it and being caught off guard, she couldn't help one of her boots from getting wedged in the signs tripod like legs. After she tripped and fell, it slowly followed her path and clattered to the floor beside her, creating a noise that echoed down the length of the dormitory corridor.

_Well, at least no-one was around to see that,_ she thought, looking around from her place on the damp, white tiled floor. She had fallen a few feet away from someone's dorm room, although she didn't know whose, and only prayed they wouldn't come out and cause her more humiliation.

As Selphie placed her hands on the floor and slowly pushed herself up, she heard murmuring coming from behind the closed door. She didn't pay much attention to the noise, until it started getting louder and she found that she could decipher words.

"_. . . Ohh, oh, yes! Harder! . . ."_

Selphie frowned and wondered again whose dorm room this was. As she walked past the door to carry on her route, she heard something that made her stop dead in her tracks.

"_. . . OH! Yes, yes, yes! Irvy, you're so big!"_

That was Celia's voice. She'd know it anywhere. Selphie clamped her hands over her ears and forced herself to run all the way back to her room, fighting back tears for the first time that day.

---------------------------------------------

Behind the door, the three girls collapsed with laughter.

"Did you see her face?!"

Celia, Amber and Nichi had been watching Selphie through the spy hole in their door. They had heard the clatter of the sign fall down outside and decided to see who had caused it. Upon realizing it was Selphie, they had decided to play a cruel trick.

Irvine wasn't even with them at the time.

---------------------------------------------

Despite how much Selphie told herself not to cry, she had started now and found she couldn't stop. Like a reflex action, she had dug up a not-very old habit and gotten out her razor blade. She didn't feel, just heard all the taunts that had ever been made.

She thought Irvine had actually wanted to make up with her after reading his message. Having this blow up in her face was too much to take. Like a child with high hopes, sitting on up Christmas Eve, spying for Santa, only then to find out he was a fraud.

Selphie wrapped her arms around herself, trying to picture someone who loved her. She couldn't . . . no one came to mind. Having no parents only made it worse. She had no one that would love her no matter what. No-one around with a love that was unconditional and no-one that looked at her with eyes that said she could do no wrong.

Despite feeling as if she could sit crying and watching the blood trickle down her arm for the rest of the day, she knew she had to decide whether to ignore what she heard or not and go see Irvine.

_You have to face him sooner or later, y'know._

She settled on sooner. Pushing herself up from the floor, she walked into the bathroom and turned the cold water tap on. Putting her arm underneath it, she watched the clear, cool liquid turn to red as it swirled away down the drain. Bringing her head up from its hung position, she faced herself in the mirror above the sink.

A girl with messy chesnut hair, panda eyes (thanks to mascara that wasn't waterproof) and a forlorn expression on her face stared straight back. She stood looking at herself for around 3 minutes, hardly blinking. She couldn't believe that one person, let alone herself, could hold so much within the eyes. You could see the emotion churning behind them, clashing together in her mind. The hurt, the anger, the jealousy and sadness of losing a friend and gaining several enemies. It's true what they say; eyes really are a window to the soul.

A clicking sound in her room outside the bathroom brought her attention back to the present.

"Yo, Selph, you really shouldn't leave your door unlocked, _anyone_ could walk in uninvited."

Selphie wiped her eyes quickly with a hand towel and stepped outside.

"What, like _you_, you mean?"

Zell brought his hand up to his neck and kicked his foot at the floor, looking rather sheepish.

"Ah, sorry. S'up?"

"Not much . . ." _apart from I heard Celia and Irvine graphically fucking_.

Zells eyes bugged out a big.

"_What_?!"

Selphie looked puzzled and stunned, thinking Zell was psychic until he spoke up again.

"You didn't mean to say that out loud, did'ya?"

"Er, no, but . . . _oh well_."

Zell shuffled around some more, looking a little embarrassed for some reason.

"Wanna talk about it, Sef?"

Selphie walked over to her cabinet, picked up her mascara and re-applied it carefully to her lashes. Her blonde friend watched her intently, always bemused when girl friends did typically female things.

"Not much to talk about really. I was walking down the hallway to my dorm, well I say walking, I _tripped_ up . . ."

Zell interrupted, "Oh, are you okay?"

"Yeah," Selphie replied casually, whilst sitting down on her bed and patting next to her. Zell duly followed, plopping down next to his friend and bringing his legs up on her sunshine yellow duvet to cross his legs.

"So, _anyway_," She continued, "I happened to fall over outside the slut faces dorm-,"

"Which one? There's so many now . . ."

"Celia . . . As I was getting up I started hearing moans, y'know, general _sex_ noises. Then it kinda got louder and the bitch screamed out _his_ name."

Selphie sat staring into her friends cerulean blue eyes, which looked oddly striking when compared to the black tribal tattoo on his face.

"Yeesh. I was sittin' with Irvine in class, but then afterwards, he said he had to go somewhere for a bit, but he wouldn't tell me."

"Yeah, well that's him all over. _Bastard_."

Selphie sat fidgeting and glancing at Zells wristwatch every 5 seconds.

It was 2 'o' clock already and she couldn't help but wonder if Irvine was standing waiting for her, wondering where she was.

"What's up? You're all twitchy."

Selphie banged her head down on Zells shoulder, and then did it repeatedly, out of frustration of whether to meet up with the sharpshooter or leave him hanging.

"_Hey,_ don't do that Sef!"

"Why? I'm not doing it hard."

"Yeah, but you've got a soft head, might damage the few brains cells you have left."

Selphie pouted and smacked Zell round the head lightly, while he snickered.

"Okay, I admit it. There **is** something else bothering me."

"Knew it. Tell?"

"Well . . . He emailed me . . . _Irvine_ that is . . . asking to meet me at 2 'o' clock. I don't know what to. I was going to go before I heard him . . . _doing _stuff."

"Well, if he asked you to meet up with him . . . isn't that, like, a good sign?"

"I don't know. It _would've_ been, if I hadn't heard him rocking someone's world. Not just _anyone's_, Celia's! . . . Gross. Why would _he_ wanna _fuck_ a blonde slut faced _bitch_?"

"Why does everyone wanna fuck _Irvine_? How comes _he's_ the sexpert of Balamb Garden?"

Selphie and Zell sat there fuming for a while, then looked to each other and cracked a smile.

"Why? Do you wish _you _were the one the girls chased?" Selphie teased Zell, bumping him lightly with her shoulder.

"_Nah_ . . . well . . . would be nice, for a change. Maybe girls would actually _notice_ me."

"_I_ notice you."

"Yeah, but you're not a girl."

Selphie frowned at him and went to hit again, when Zell corrected himself.

"Nah, I_ know_ you're a girl. I just mean . . . you're like one of the guys . . . but with boobs . . . and curves . . . an' stuff."

"_Riiiight_."

"Yeah."

"I'm going."

Zell looked puzzled, seeing as this was Selphies room, not his.

"Huh?"

Selphie got up and straightened her dress out.

"I'm going to go see him. If he's still waiting there. What time is it?"

Glancing at Selphie and looking down to his watch, he responded, "2.10. Want me to wait around?"

"No, it's okay, I'll be okay. I can handle this . . . _I think_. Um, do I look alright?"

Zell gave his friend the once over and held his thumbs up in the air.

Selphie gave a single nod, smoothed down her hair and sucked in a deep breath.

"Okay, I'm going . . . you gonna stay in here?" The brunette girl eyed the blonde suspiciously.

"Not if you don't want me to. Afraid I'll find somethin' _naughty_?" Zell gave a cheeky smile and hoisted up one of his eyebrows.

"No, I don't hide porno mags under my mattress. I'm not _you_."

"Hey! I don't have any!"

"Just teasing. Well, do what you want, I'm off."

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

With that, Selphie walked out of her door, leaving Zell to sit on her bed, and discover the bloodied razor blade that she had forgotten to hide . . .


	17. Questions, questions

"_A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world."_

_----------------------------------------_

Selphie found herself fiddling with her hair and straightening her dress hem as she walked down the hallway to classroom 1F.

Turning the corner nervously, her stomach lurched upon seeing Irvine leaning against the wall, one leg pushed up on it, hat down over his eyes in his trademark stance.

She almost spun on her heel and ran off, but she forced her legs to move one step at a time towards the man who had changed her life.

Irvine lifted his head at the sound of resonating footsteps clicking on the floor. He glanced up at Selphie, who had now stopped about a foot away from him, with her hands held behind her back.

A small smile played upon Irvine's face, "I thought you'd never come. Wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't."

He bent down and picked something large up from his side. It was his guitar covered in its brown leather case.

_Why has he brought that old thing?_

Selphie glared at him, thinking of what she heard in the dorm hallway.

_Bastard. He thinks I don't know. He thinks he can just screw around with other girls, then come and meet me and try to resolve things? Huh. Fat chance._

"Are you okay Sefie?" His deep voice snapped her out of her bitter thoughts.

". . . . Fine, thanks. Are we going?"

"Yup."

Selphie could've sworn she saw his hand reached out to slip in hers, but he must've stopped himself at the last moment, because she never felt it happen.

In silence, the two made their way towards the entrance of Balamb garden. The small blossom orchard was in the middle of the forest, off a little to the left. Irvine led the way, in case they stumbled upon any beasts dwelling in the vicinity.

They soon came upon the orchard. All the trees were in full blossom. Pink and white petals tinted with cerise adorned the ground and floated in the air every time a slight wind kicked up around them.

Irvine chose an apple blossom tree in the middle of the other surrounding ones. He sat down on the ground, his back against the tree, and patted next to him, signaling for Selphie to join his seated position.

She cocked her head and looked all around her, remembering the last time they had come here. It looked practically the same, and Irvine had chosen the same tree, and done the same patting action. But he'd pulled her onto his lap back then. Pulled her onto his lap and given her the most toe curling kiss in the world.

_I wonder if he's brought Celia here, _she wondered with some resentment, as she walked over to the tree and carefully sat herself down beside Irvine.

"So, how you been keepin'?"

Selphie turned her head to the right and looked at him intently, just stopping herself from drowning in his violet tinged eyes.

"Do you remember the last time we came here?"

Irvine picked up some cherry blossom petals from the ground, looking at them carefully as they slipped through his fingers and fluttered downwards.

"Of _course_ I do. I'm not some heartless bastard."

"Could've fooled me . . ." Selphie mumbled under her breath.

The cowboy turned his head and glanced at her with a half-smirk on his face.

"What was that, missy?"

"You haven't exactly been _Mr. Nice_ to me lately-,"

"_Whoa_, hold on there!" Irvine interrupted, "At least I've made _attempts_ to sort this whole fucked up mess out-,"

"Oh, so that's what this friendship is to you? Huh, pretty_ sick_ friendship if you ask me."

Irvine sighed whilst taking his hat off and running his hands over his hair.

"Look, I didn't ask you to come here so we could have an argument. _Another_ argument. I just wanted to talk, y'know? Without any_ slangin'_ matches in between."

There was something in his words that made Selphie feel needlessly guilty.

"I'm sorry. I . . . I'm just _so _messed in the head right now."

"I think we all get like that once in a while, Sef."

She felt like crying at the understanding tone in his voice, and could almost forget that this was the man who had caused her all this unnecessary pain to begin with. _Almost._

_You still have to ask him about Celia, you know . . ._

Selphie frowned at herself. Irvine must've noticed because he looked at her with questioning eyes, curiosity hidden somewhere in the depths of all that indigo.

"What happened to us, Irvine?"

"Well, that's what we're here to talk about . . ."

Neither of the teenagers seemed particularly eager to start off the conversation, but Selphie had so many questions that needed answering, she found it impossible to sit in silence. She shuffled around a little before she spoke up.

"Right . . . Um . . . we have to answer any questions that we ask each other truthfully, and we go in turns, okay?"

"Okay, who's going first?"

". . . I will . . ."

It was almost like the little games they used to play frequently with each other, mixed with teasing looks and playful flirting. Apart from this time, it wasn't a game.

"Did you like Celia like you used to like me?"

Irvine began to fiddle with the flora on the ground again, then he opened his mouth to speak.

"No. I've never liked anyone like I like you."

Selphie noticed he didn't use past tense. Her heart gave a little skip in her chest, making her breath catch for a moment in time.

_Does he still like me?_

"_My_ turn . . . Will you show me your cuts?"

Selphie thought this rather an odd question, and would've usually gotten angry, but didn't. She began to roll up the sleeve of the blazer top of her SeeD uniform, which she had slipped over her dress before going to meet the man she was sitting next to.

Irvine didn't give any visible reaction when faced with the wounds she had inflicted with such hatred upon herself. He did reach out and stroke them though, much like he had done a few days back at the beach.

Noticing the fresh score in her arm, he asked when she had done it.

Remembering their rule, Selphie stated, "It's my turn to ask a question, not yours . . ."

"Okay . . ." Irvine let his fingers trail down her arm before coming to an end on her small hand, which was resting on the petal covered ground. Selphie simply let him keep it there.

"So, um, do you still . . . talk . . . to them?"

Irvine began to fiddle with Selphies little finger absentmindedly.

"Who?"

_Who do you think, dumbass?!_ This was what she wanted to scream at him, but somehow kept herself calm and responded, "Celia, Nichi and Amber. Do you still speak with them?"

"Only when they pester me. I don't exactly make a _point_ of talkin' to them."

An uneasy silence hanged in the air yet again, being broken only by the sound of natures elements.

Selphie tucked a stray piece of chesnut coloured hair behind one of her ears, as Irvine began to ask his next question.

"So . . . have you ever fooled around with Zell?"

"No. _Nuh-uh_."

"K. Has he ever_ tried_ anythin'?"

Selphie was aware that it was her turn to ask something, but she let it lie.

"No. He's not a testosterone case like _you_."

_Oopsy._

The sharpshooter either didn't understand what she meant, or chose to ignore her crass little remark.

"You did more than _'fool around' _with Celia and her friends, didn't you?"

Irvine was obviously uncomfortable with this question, as he removed his hand from Selphies and brought it up to the back of his neck to play with his pony tail.

"You have to answer, we agreed."

"I know . . ."

"Well then . . .?"

"Yes, I did more than just fool around."

Selphie knew that she was going to hear this, but it still made her slightly mad upon hearing him speak those words.

"So, when was the last time you screwed her?"

"That's two questions."

"_YOU_ had two questions last time, remember? So answer me."

"Sheesh, you're impatient."

"**Answer**!"

"Fine! The last time I screwed her, as you so _nicely_ put it, was three days ago."

"_Liar_ . . ."

"_Wha?!_"

"I heard you_** fucking**_ her in the hallway after I'd read your message."

"_Huh?_ NO way. I think I'd have more decency than to do someone in the hallway."

"**NO**, I was in the hallway, **YOU** were in her dorm."

"_Whoa_, wait up. I wasn't anywhere _near_ Celia's dorm at any time today. I went toclass with Zell, then after I caught up with Squall and headed straight to meet you."

"Yeah, _uh-huh_, sure. _Oh_ you forgot to add that you were blowing Celia's mind in between. Oh _great sex God_ Irvine Kinneas. **Slut**."

Irvine pushed himself up against the tree, so he was towering over Selphie in a rather menacing way.

"**Look**, I wasn't doing _anything_ with her! Why the heck are you sayin' all this?!"

Selphie also got up and folded her arms protectively over her chest. She was still much shorter than him, but didn't feel as threatened by his height as she did when she was sitting.

"I heard you two at it! I was walking back to my dorm, and I heard her!! _Oh Irvy, harder harder!_ So don't bloody lye to me!!"

Irvine looked puzzled. "You heard that? Maybe she was masturbating . . ."

"Oh yeah, because we all think of _you_ when we do that," Selphie retorted sarcastically.

"Seriously, I wasn't any where _near_ her! Man, I'm confused."

"Look, just stop lying! You . . . you **_liar!_**"

"I'm not lyin'! Ask Squall . . . Yeah, go ask _him_. He was with me up until 2 minutes before you came along!"

"Fine, I _will_ ask him! He won't cover for you, because he _hates_ love cheats!"

"I'm_ not_ a love cheat."

"Are"

"Not"

"_**ARE!**_"

"_**NOT!**_"

The quarreling teens put their backs to each other, both in a mood due to the conversation. It was Irvine who finally turned around to sort things out.

"Sefie . . ."

Selphie turned around slowly and faced the so called 'love-cheat'.

"I really didn't want to argue with you today, but seein' as we already _have_ done, can we go back to talkin' now. Nice, calm, _no-jumpin'-to-conclusions_ talkin'? We can go find Squall later and sort the other thing out . . ."

Selphie sighed before unfolding her arms and settling back down on the ground amongst the petals. Irvine soon followed.

After five minutes of yet another troubled silence, Irvine decided to pull out his guitar from its old leather case. Whilst he was twanging various strings and tuning up, Selphie asked something she could never find the answer to herself.

"Irvine . . . Can we ever go back to being the way we used to?"

The cowboy stopped fiddling with his instrument, put it down and looked Selphie deep in her eyes.

"I don't know if we'll be the same. Whether we're as one or apart. Maybe we can make something better than what we had before. But do to that, we're goin' to have to go through a lot of pain and tears in sorting out where this friendship stands at the moment."

Selphie angled her head to one side in thought. She didn't always understand Irvine. Sometimes, he could be so full of bullshit; it'd be coming out of his ears. But other times, he'd seem like the most sensible person on the earth. Like a wise man with answers to all the problems in the universe.

Without thinking about her next action, she snuggled into Irvine's side, inhaling the scent of his soft duster. He smelt exactly how she remembered; like flourishing pine trees and mulberry wine, mixed with a fresh smell of wild berries.

As soon as she realized what she was doing, she quickly jerked away and mumbled an apology.

Irvine simply smiled and placed his arm around her shoulder, easing her back into the position she was in.

"Don't say sorry for feelin' comfortable Sef."

Selphie did feel comfortable, but also a little edgy tucked into the side of him. It mimicked how they once were together, and although it was nice, it made her feel rather sad.

Once again, her mind wouldn't let her enjoy this simple moment.

_I wonder if he was like this with her . . . ask him._

"Irvine . . ."

"_Hmm_?"

"Were you like this with Celia? Did you ever bring her here?"

"No and no. This is _our_ place, even if we are fightin' like cat and dog."

"Why did you sleep with her . . . and . . . why an uncountable number of times?"

Selphie leaned off him, pulling away reluctantly from her perfectly fitted space under his arm. She looked into his eyes as he answered, making him tense up a bit.

"Well . . . I, urm . . . Okay, you said to tell the truth, so I will. She was there after we had that _massive _argument about a month back in your dorm. I guess it was the one that started it all off . . . She just happened to see me storm out of your room and we got talkin'. She wasn't as horrible as everyone said . . . at first. Then, she got _real _bitchy and only wanted to scr- . . . I mean . . . mess about. Then the whole pickin' on you club started . . ."

Selphie frowned, "Club? They had a _club_? A-pick-on-me club?"

Irvine looked rather awkward, as if he hadn't meant to let this piece of information slip.

"Well . . . _yeah_."

Slumping back onto the trunk of the blossom tree behind her, she asked, "Were you part of it?"

"No . . . It's just one of their _stupid _little girl things, they'll get over it and start pickin' on someone else soon."

Selphie felt another mood swing arising in her.

"If they're such stupid little girls, why did you sleep with them in the first place? _All of them_."

"Sef-,"

"Did you think you could do it behind my back? What if we'd been going out and we had that argument? Would you still have stormed out and shagged them?"

"Selphie . . . _**Stop**_ it."

"Did you do it to annoy me? They've made my life a_ living hell_. You knew that, and you still kept going with them. Even after my _botched _up suicide attempt . . ."

Selphie felt Irvine's hand try and snake into hers, to try and calm her down.

"Sefie . . ."

_That hand has been on Celia and the others . . . doing Who-knows-what. _

She yanked her hand away from him, in an action similar to that had she been scolded by something hot. Getting up from the ground, she smoothed out the back of her dress and looked down at the man sitting on the floor.

"Don't touch me. Don't _**ever**_ touch me."

Selphie realized that sounded rather harsh, and saw the hurt behind Irvine's eyes. For a moment, she felt satisfied with herself, but then she couldn't bring herself to look at the upset caused by a few simple words. _Her_ words.

"I'm going to find Squall and get the _truth_ . . . don't wait up."

Selphie walked out of the woodland area fast, leaving behind a cowboy still resting against their blossom tree, with his guitar out beside him and a rather dejected expression on his face.

**A/N: In case you're wondering about the argument that 'started it all off' it'll be included in the next chapter . . Thanks for all the reviews so far . . .**


	18. Unwanted Memories

**A/n: This was supposed to go up sooner, but thanks to this website always fcking up, i couldn't update when i wanted to.**

"_I've learned that: goodbyes will always hurt, pictures can never replace being there, memories forget the hard times, words can never replace feelings, and heroes often go unsung."_

Selphie found herself racing down the dorm corridor. She'd forgotten which room number was Squalls, but that didn't matter too much, because each Garden student's initials were gilded onto the heavy wooden doors, along with a peephole and a number pad to punch in your private code to gain access.

She thundered along the hallway, the heels of her brown boots clomping and echoing on the floor, frantically searching for the initials S.L. Finally, she came across them, and without hesitation, knocked a little too hard on the door, hurting her knuckles in the process; such was the need to find out the truth about Irvine.

A rather annoyed looking Squall opened the door none too gently. He didn't open it fully either, but he did open it enough for a body to squeeze through, and Selphie did just this, despite being uninvited and unfazed by Squalls fiery look.

"S-Selphie! You_ can't_ come in!"

It was only when the small teenager had pushed herself inside Squalls dorm that she noticed Rinoa in his bed, gathering up the black bed sheets and bringing them just below her chin. Selphie glanced over at Squall, who was standing to her right, hand on his hip, clad only in his leather trousers.

Beginning to feel embarrassed at barging in on their 'alone time', she mumbled, "Oh, erm, _I'm sorry_, I'll go."

Squall said nothing in return but opened the door wider for her to leave, obviously still annoyed at her rude intrusion.

Rinoa wasn't about to let her friend leave though, in fear of her doing something stupid. Plus, she was curious as to why Selphie had come in to see Squall in such a fluster.

"Wait! _Squall_, don't be such an arse. Selphie, don't go. What's wrong?"

Selphie stood there with a worried look scrunching up her features.

"I . . . I need to talk to Squall . . ."

She looked over at him. He was in the procedure of putting on a tight fitting white t shirt, which lay on the floor.

Selphie mouthed a _'sorry'_ to her raven-haired friend, and received a mouthed _'its okay'_ back.

Rinoa brought her knees up to her chest underneath the covers and looked over at her boyfriend, who had gone into a sulk.

"Squall? Did you hear that? Selphie wants to talk to you."

The gunbladist turned around, snapping, "Yeah, well it better not be about the _bloody _festival dance!"

Selphie visibly shrinked into herself, feeling rather upset. Squall usually kept his cool and never shouted, but when he did, it was enough to make a lion turn into a whimpering kitten.

Rinoa frowned fiercely at him, "_**Squall!!**_"

Upon hearing his Girlfriends voice lower in a harsh 'behave yourself' way, he felt guilty that he'd snapped at one of his friends. Even if said friend had interrupted his sexual life.

"_Uh,_ I'm sorry."

"That's better. Now listen to what she has to say."

Selphie twiddled her hands and chewed on her bottom lip, unsure of how to start.

"Well, erm, you see . . . about an hour ago, I was on my way to my dorm, but I tripped and fell outside Celia's dorm room . . ."

"Celia?"

Rinoa answered Squalls question for Selphie. "_Duh_, Celia . . . the blonde bitch that Irvine goes with, who bullies Selphie and almost drowned her."

Selphie cringed inwardly at her words; Squall just nodded his head in recognition.

"Go on then . . ."

"Oh . . . well, this is sorta embarrassing and hard to explain, but . . . well, I heard her screaming Irvine's name, and moaning stuff . . . in a _sexual_ way."

Rinoa seemed appalled at what she'd just heard.

"That _bastard!_ He had the cheek to do that, and then think he could go and meet up with _you?_ Men!"

Squall stared over his shoulder at Rinoa, a blank look upon his face. She simply smiled sweetly back at him. Selphie continued, getting more to the point.

"So, _anyway,_ I met up with him, and then we got into an argument when I said I heard Celia screaming his name. He says he _didn't _have sex with her, and that the last time he did was three days ago . . ."

"Okay. So, why are you telling me this?"

"Because he said that you were with him after your lesson together, and that you walked him to the place that he was meeting me . . . _Did _you?"

"I didn't walk him . . ."

Selphies heart dropped.

"I walked _WITH_ him. He's a grown man, he doesn't need an escort."

Selphie picked up again and felt altogether in a brighter mood.

"So he _didn't_ go with Celia . . ."

Although she mumbled this to herself, Rinoa spoke up.

"So, Celia's up to something . . . she's gotta be. Ooh I_** hate**_ her! Be careful Selphie."

"I will. Thanks Squall. And sorry for . . . interrupting stuff."

Squall said nothing but a light blush spread over his cheeks, turning his creamy skin a pinkish colour. Rinoa answered for him.

"That's okay, hun. Where are you going now?"

"Off to find Irvine, I guess."

"Well, like I said, be careful."

Selphie gave Rinoa a little smile, warmed inside that she cared so much.

"Bye bye."

With that, she left the two lovers to get back to whatever they were doing. . .

--------------------------------------

Irvine sat in the cafeteria, across from Zell.

"She just blew up on me, man. Selphies got some _serious_ mood swing problems."

"Maybes it's _'that time of the month'_ again."

The two men laughed, earning a few glances from other gossiping students.

Zell felt rather bad for adding this comment to Irvine's statement. After all, Selphie trusted him the most and he knew how bad Irvine could be to her.

He justified himself by saying, "Sef's been havin' a rough time lately. You know that. Hell, one might even say **you're** the problem."

"Hey, I thought I was your friend!"

"You are . . . but so is Selphie. And choosin' between friends is _so_ 90's."

This earned a laugh from Irvine, but it died off as he saw Seifer come up behind Zell and grab his shoulders.

"Hey chicken wuss. How's it hangin'? Short, shriveled and to the left as usual?"

This was followed by one of his cruel laughs and sadistic smirks.

"Get lost Seifer. Shouldn't you be off givin' Raijin his _daily blow_?"

Irvine snickered. This enraged Seifer.

"Shut up cowboy!"

Looking down at Zell, who was still in his firm grip, he shook him and dug his hand into his shoulder with force.

"Get off me, _**bastard!**_"

"Watched your little friend being _drowned_ the other day. Shame Celia didn't finish the job. Would've meant no more Garden Festivals . . . _boo hoo_."

Zell spun round and yanked Seifers hands off of his shoulders, grabbing the wrists and twisting them until Seifer growled in pain.

"Don't _fuckin'_ talk about Selphie. I'll kick your ass, man. And you can tell those little hoes to keep away from her too."

Seifer pulled his wrists out of Zells iron grip and sent a punch flying into the tattooed side of his face. Zell managed to block it, much more skilled in the hand-to-hand fighting department than the older blonde.

Seifer glowered at Zell, who went to sit back down. Deciding to play dirty, Seifer hooked his foot around the bottom of the martial artist's chair, sending it clattering to the floor and leaving Zell to fall down on his bottom with a rather hard thump.

"I'll deal with _you_ later, Chicken."

Seifer turned and walked away with a smirk, grey trench coat flowing out behind him with his strutting.

"Man, whats his problem?!"

"His heads too far wedged up his arse, _that's_ his problem." Zell replied, ignoring the people who were staring at him, humored by yet another dueling between the two 'greatest friends' in Balamb Garden.

Irvine picked his hat up off of the table and declared, "Well, I'm goin' back to my dorm for a bit."

"'k, man. Catch ya later."

Irvine stood there looking like he wanted to say something else.

_"S'up?"_

"Er, will you tell Selphie where I am . . . if she wants me, that is."

"Sure thing."

"Right, later."

Zell stayed sitting in the cafeteria flicking through a fighters magazine and eating French fries smothered in ketchup, seeing as they had run out of hotdogs (again).

About ten minutes after Irvine had left; Selphie walked in through the cafeterias double doors. Spotting her blonde friend, she walked over to him and pulled up a chair.

"Oh, hey Selph."

"Hi . . . have you seen Irvine?"

"Yup, he said he's goin' back to his dorm. Few minutes back."

Selphie was about to say her thanks and leave to find him, but Zell remembered something and told her to stay for a bit.

"So, did'ya find out the truth?"

_"Huh?"_

"About Irvine."

"Oh. Yeah. Turns out he wasn't even _with_ Celia. I asked Squall, seeing as he was with him when he was waiting for me and the time leading up to that."

"Ah. Well, at least he wasn't lyin'."

"Yeah. I think I interrupted Squall and Rinoa."

Zell raised one of his eyebrows, a small smile creeping onto his face.

"You mean _sexually_ interrupted?"

Selphie nodded. "I think Squall was mad at me. He went into a sulk."

"So would I if you interrupted me in the middle of gettin' my leg over."

"Oops. Men are _weird_."

"Cheers . . . Um, Sef . . ?"

The brunette rested her chin on one of her crossed arms, which was lying on the table.

"Yeah?"

"Are you alright? I mean, are you happy?"

Selphie didn't respond and fiddled with her fringe, sending it flying in different directions by blowing air from her mouth up into it.

"Selphie?"

She mumbled something Zell couldn't quite understand, but he decided not to ask her to repeat it, knowing how annoyed she could get if people didn't hear her, which wasn't usually a problem.

"It's just . . . when you left me in your dorm a few hours back . . . I found _this_ . . ."

Zell pulled something wrapped in a purple cloth out of his pocket. Even before he revealed what was underneath, Selphie knew immediately. It was one of her razors. Her 'best' one, in fact.

She thought about going to grab it off of him, but didn't, because she knew how fast Zells reflexes were and she might cause one of them damage in the process if she happened to miss her target.

"I didn't know you were still doin' it. I told you to come and talk to me whenever you got . . . urges."

Selphie sighed. Although Zell was only trying to help, she felt uncomfortable and tried to brush the subject aside.

"It doesn't matter, Zell."

"Yes it _does._ You _know_ it does. See why I get worried when I leave you alone?"

"I'm not a baby; I can take care of myself."

"I know, Sef. But if leavin' you alone means you're gonna shred yourself up, then I'll have to watch over you 24/7."

Selphie cringed at her friend's choice of words.

"Did you do it deep? Where is it?" Zell kept his voice hushed, even though they were on the table right at the back, and away from everyone else in the cafeteria.

"It's in the usual place, and _no,_ it's not deep."

"Will you show me?"

"**OH **what the **hell **is this?! I'm not some sort of show and tell object!"

Zell moved back in his seat, a little shocked by another one of Selphies famous outbursts.

"Okay, okay. _Sorry._ I'm not giving you this back though," Zell said brandishing the cloth covered razor.

Selphie slammed her head down on the table with a soft thud, emitting a large sigh.

"I wish this whole mess had never happened, Zell. Everything would be _so_ much easier if Irvine and I hadn't had that pointless argument in the first place."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Selphie lifted her head up off the table and blew a stray strand of hair out of her mouth.

"Can we go back to my dorm? It's not very private here . . ."

----------------------------------------------------

Once back in her own room, Selphie felt much more at ease with talking about things.

While Selphie arranged some of her fluffy oversized pillows down on the floor for them to sit on, Zell fiddled with her CD player, putting on something, but leaving it low.

Selphie set herself down none too lightly on the cushions and stretched her legs out in front of her, looking somewhat downhearted.

"Aw,_ come on_. Don't look like that," Zell said delicately, sitting himself down next to her.

Looking to her side, Selphie replied quietly, "I can't help it. I feel so sad . . ."

Zell put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. She snuggled her head into the crook of his neck and sighed with a heavy heart. Although upset and troubled, Selphie got a little comfort out of the warmth of her friend, along with the familiar bubblegum scent of his hair gel.

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her head into his jacket, yet again mumbling something he couldn't understand.

"What was that Sef?"

Selphie lifted her head up from his chest, saying "All this mess . . . It's my entire fault," still with the same unhappy look upon her porcelain features. Instead of concealing her face back in Zells jacket, she simply brought her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

"Nothin's your fault-,"

"**YES** it is . . . If I'd just_ listened_ to him, and let him . . ."

"Hold up, let him _what?_ I'm lost."

". . . None of this would've happened. I _wouldn't_ have become depressed, I _wouldn't _have to face being bullied, and I _wouldn't_ have a big ugly scar on my wrist."

"Are you talkin' about 'the argument'?"

Selphie nodded, chin still resting upon her knees, arms wrapped around herself and Zell still hugging her close.

"Wanna talk about it now?"

The small teenager nodded again and looked over at her friend.

"You _have_ to keep it a secret. Don't tell Irvine I told you either."

"Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye-,"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture. This is kind of embarrassing . . . I guess it's more of a thing you'd share with a girl friend . . ."

"Hey, I can be a girl. No _wait_, that came out wrong."

Selphie felt a smile come to her lips, then realized, girl or not, Zell was still the person she'd feel most at ease talking to.

"Well . . . it started a few months back, you know that-,"

"Yup."

"We, Irvine and I, we were in here and . . . _you know_ how we were together before all this started-,"

"Yeah, all _smoochy smoochy, coupley lovey dovey_."

"Mm hmm."

Remembering the past made Selphie feel sadder than before, especially as her mind was conjuring up images of her and Irvine arguing.

She brought her hands up to her face and clutched her head, shaking it a little. This earned her another hug from Zell, who still sat beside her, an arm slung around her shoulder.

"Shh, it's okay Sef."

"It's so . . ._ petty_. I can't believe . . . I blew up over something so _trivial_ . . ."

"Tell me . . ."

Selphie brought her hands away from her face and wiped her tear filled eyes, taking a deep breath in the process.

"Well, we were hugging on my bed . . . and kissing. But then . . ."

Zell sat patiently, waiting for her to continue.

"Well . . . Irvine being who he is . . . he started getting . . . really_ horny_ and he wanted to . . . you know . . . _have sex_."

Selphie glanced to her side at Zell, half expecting to see his tattoo crinkled up in a smirk, but he was as serious as ever, so she carried on with her story.

"He wouldn't take no for an answer . . . so I slapped him. Then he got mad and said I was frigid . . . so I brought up the subject of us not_ actually_ going out. I mean, we _acted_ like boyfriend and girlfriend, but he never even asked me and I wasn't about to. It's up to the guy to do stuff like that . . ."

Selphie took another deep breath.

"He was being _such_ a bastard. Some of the stuff he said was . . ._ horrible_ . . . so I threw a glass at him. That just made him madder and he said I should be put in an asylum for mentally deranged virgins, then . . . just before he walked out of the door, he goes_ 'Fine, I'll just go and find some other lucky girl to screw.'_ Well . . . I guess he did."

Feeling tears pricking at her emerald eyes once again, she buried her face into Zell.

"I . . . I should've just let him do what he wanted with me."

Zell pulled her away from him by the shoulders and looked at her intently.

"Don't say stuff like that. You did the right thing. No-one should ever be forced into doin' something they don't wanna. I didn't know Irvine could be such a jerk to his women. I would _never_ do anythin' like that."

"I know you wouldn't . . ."

Zell lowered her back into the position she was in before, feeling her snuggle up back against him.

"Irvine's not one to take bein' turned down very lightly . . . maybe you just hurt his pride."

"But he hurt me . . . in my heart. He _broke_ it . . ."

"He said some cruel things, but don't let it stop you from makin' up with him. You were both angry, and from what I've learnt in my life, people say things they don't mean when they're mad. All close friends have massive arguments once in a while, but that's when you've gotta pick yourself up and carry on . . . Selphie, _go _and _see_ him. I know for a fact that he misses you . . ."

Selphie said nothing, but sat in her friend arms, contemplating the words that she had just heard, knowing deep down that they made perfect sense.


	19. Down in Flames

"_I would tell you I am happy  
If I wasn't so damn sad_

_And the loneliness both overwhelms and keeps me empty  
That's how it's been for a while . . ."_

Whilst sitting with Zell and thinking about his words, Selphie realised that Irvine would probably be expecting her to go to his room. After all, she had found out that he was in fact telling the truth, which made Selphie feel more than a little guilty.

"Where ya goin'?" Zell asked, looking up from his place on the cushions, a comic book open in his hands.

Selphie stopped at the door, her hand on the knob, hesitant to step out into the hallway.

"I guess I'm going to see Irvine."

"You guess?"

"Okay. I _AM_ going to see Irvine."

Zell pushed himself up from the floor, and cracked his knuckles one by one, followed by the bones in his neck.

Selphie winced.

"Do you have to do that? It's _gross_."

The blonde cracked one of his fingers once more and grinned, before ruffling the brunette girl's hair up with his gloved hand.

Selphie tutted at him and told him to go in a mock angry tone whilst trying to sort out her hair and shut up the door. She watched her friend walk down the hall, then turned in the opposite direction; the direction in which Irvine's dorm was situated.

She stopped and cursed under her breath when she realized she had forgotten to bring her jacket, the cold dank air making the fine hairs on her arm stand on end. Looking down at her marked arm, she contemplated going back and fetching it, then decided against the idea, telling herself it was only a short walk to Irvine's room.

Selphie stopped outside the door marked with the initials **'I.K'** and brought her hand up to the wood, poised to knock. Something made her want to press her ear up to the door and listen to whatever he might be doing inside. Her heart gave a little skip when she heard the shrill voice of another female.

_Phew, it's only Rinoa._

Knocking three times, Selphie stood and waited for someone to open up and let her in.

The door swung open to reveal a fuming Rinoa and a sulking Irvine in the background sitting on the bed.

"Oh hey Selphie. I'll leave you two alone."

Selphie nodded and faked a smile. Rinoa leaned into her and gave her a hug, whispering in her ear, _"Don't worry, I had a massive go at him for you."_

Her ebony haired friend gave a huge grin and skipped off naïvely, leaving Selphie to step inside the slightly messy room.

Shutting the door behind her, Irvine looked up and mumbled something about Rinoa being a bitch from hell.

"Irvine . . . Um, I went to see Squall. I'm sorry I didn't believe you, but can you blame me?"

The cowboy simply stayed sitting on the bed, head in his hands, loose golden-brown hair falling over his face.

"Um, _Hello_?"

". . . hi . . ."

_Okay, he's not usually this un-talkative._

"Are you alright?"

". . . . . ."

"Uh oh, he's turned into Squall," Selphie joked, getting a small laugh from the sulky man, then finally, she got more.

"I'm such a _shit,_ Sef."

Selphie walked over to Irvine and stood in front of him, her hands held loosely together behind her back.

"I'm a complete **_tosser_**. Rinoa's right. I don't even deserve to have you as a friend after the way I treated you. I'm so_ fuckin'_ shallow. That argument was **_my_** fault. If I hadn't of been thinkin' with my _other _head that time, none of this would've happened at all.And . . . and what if you had died that day? I think I would've ended up killing myself too . . ."

Selphie waited for him to say more, but nothing came, apart from pure emotion. She heard Irvine sniff a bit and passed it off as the start of a cold. It was when she saw his shoulders hitching slightly that she realized he was actually crying.

Almost as if it was instinct, she knelt down in front of him and pulled his hands away from his face. Without much resistance, he gave in to Selphies tugging to reveal ruddy looking cheeks and watery azure eyes.

"Selphie . . . _Please_ . . . _please_ forgive me."

Selphie suddenly felt awash with turbulent emotions. She said nothing but closed in on the crying man with a hug, who wrapped his arms around her waist tightly as if afraid to let go.

With no lessons to go to, Zell sat in the library, half catching up on overdue written work and half sneaking in looks at Anna. She was one of the library committee girls, who had black silky looking hair tied back in a pigtail with a few loose tendrils framing the delicate features of her face. Occasionally, she would look up and give Zell a shy smile before blushing a little and turning back to her work.

Three girls came in laughing and walked over near the desk where Anna was standing.

Zell looked up again and frowned when he saw that it was Amber, Celia and Nichi standing in the way of his view of Anna.

He noticed Celia give her a dirty up and down look before asking something.

"Yeah, _hi._ Where the hell are the books on gunblading? You _better_ have some, because I'm on an errand for Seifer."

Anna, being as shy as she was, found she couldn't talk, due to the intimidating feeling the three girls were giving off. She simply pointed over to a shelf in the corner and forced herself to smile.

Celia gave her another look before muttering something to Nichi, who laughed loud and glared at Anna.

Celia strutted over to a book stand, looked for about 3 seconds and grabbed the first book with anything to do about Seifers weapon.

Nichi and Amber had sat themselves down on a table, getting out there make up and hair brushes.

"So, who are _you_ taking to the dance?"

"We're actually _going_?"

"_Duh_, we have to outshine the _other girls_ and set an example of beauty."

Celia sat down on the spare seat, crossed her legs and flipped her long blonde hair behind her back.

"_I'm_ going with Irvine."

Amber frowned, "**_I_** wanted to go with him!"

The two blondes glared at each other, until Amber finally backed down, giving in to her ring leader.

"Irvine promised **_me_** ages ago. Anyway, Seifers always free."

"Yeah, he's a good lay."

"And you need someone to screw afterwards; else there'd be _totally_ no point in going."

"Is _Self-harmer_ Tilmitt going?"

The three girls laughed, resembling nothing short of Shakespeare's cackling witches.

"Probably. She was the one who arranged half of it, along with her goofy friends."

Zell was sitting a few feet away, listening in to their conversation, if it could be called that. They hadn't noticed him yet, and he'd rather keep it that way.

Selphie was sitting in the infirmary, waiting for Dr. Kadowaki to remove the stitches from her wrist, as the doctor at the hospital had advised. She had left Irvine in his room. After crying, he had fallen asleep. Selphie had sat with him for a while, listening to his even breathing whilst putting little plaits in his hair like she used to.

She hadn't noticed Dr. Kadowaki take hold of her wrist and begin to take out the stitches slowly, and before she knew it, she was ready to go.

"All done, Selphie. That wasn't so bad was it?"

_I never said it was going to be . . ._

Selphie hopped down off the standard white hospital like bed and walked out into the main area of Balamb Garden. For the first time since she had made that near fatal cut, she looked down at her wrist again. The gash that was once raw and open had now closed up thanks to the stitches. It was red and purple, raised in places and off colour where the thread had been holding the wound together.

Selphie made the fault of not looking where she was going again, and bumped into a rather sturdy feeling figure. She was about to mumble her apologies, but when she saw Seifer towering a foot above her, she didn't bother.

"Where's your manners?"

Selphie said nothing back to the tall blonde, learning from previous experiences that he wasn't one to talk back to.

"Hm. Maybe I'll have to **_teach_** you some."

Not liking the tone of his voice and the leering look he was giving her, she stepped out of his way. Seifer grabbed hold of her wrist, fully aware that it was her bad one.

"Why does chicken wuss care about you so much? _Little squirt_. He's probably only tryin' to get in your knickers. Like**_ playboy_** Kinneas."

"What the fuck would you know, Almasy."

Seifer snarled at her, twisted her wrist around and pushed her forward so that she stumbled and almost fell to the floor.

Selphie caught her balance and felt bubbles of anger rise up in her. She turned around quickly and swung a punch into Seifers stomach. Apart from she never made contact. The blonde bully had caught her wrist again, making it decidedly sore. The small teenager flinched in his grasp, waiting for him to release her.

Before he did so, he leaned closer to her and clutched her wrist tighter, stopping the blood flow, which was making her hand numb.

"I'd **watch it** if I were you. I should break you in for Irvine. That might be _fun_."

Feeling rather scared, Selphie brought her knee up fast and made contact with Seifers groin in a hard placed blow, making him let go of her.

"**Argh!** You little _cow!_"

Although feel somewhat intimidated by this little run-in with the resident arse hole, she also felt angered by his rude comments. Selphie had run back to her dorm room to grab her nunchuku and gone to let off some steam in the training centre. Something she hadn't done for a while.

Just before the training centre were two changing rooms, one for males the other for females, in case you wanted to change before and after or use the communal showers. Some students were unfortunate enough to not have their own personal shower in their rooms, so were forced to use the communal ones.

Selphie put her bag into the changing room and stepped out in the arena.

Dead leaves and twigs crunched under her feet as she walked along, scanning each of her sides for approaching enemies, making a mental note to run if a T-rexaur came thundering along.

The bushes behind her shook and rustled a little, before a small grat came scurrying out in her direction, flailing its long arms.

Selphie was poised for action and got a quick swing of her Nunchaku in before the creature could attack, resulting in the thing letting out a screech and some green blood.

Whilst it was writhing in discomfort, she swung at it again rather hard, this time knocking it dead in the process.

After a few more rounds of battling minor creatures, she decided to retire, as her wrist was beginning to sting through the activity. The last thing she wanted was her wound to open up again.

Making her way back to the changing room, her mind began to wander, thinking about where today had left her and Irvine. They were on talking terms, but Selphie still felt unable to trust him and didn't know if she'd be able to let him into her heart again.

Grabbing her bag from the mahogany coloured bench and slipping in her weapon, she swung it over her shoulder and made her way to the exit.

She didn't make it though. Someone to the side of her charged full on, slamming into her side and knocking her halfway across the room, leaving her to come to rest against the off-white wall.

Selphie gritted her teeth and tried to stand, her mind screaming protest against the pain shooting up her spine and into her left shoulder, which had hit the wall first.

A shadow fell over her, followed by another, then another. She didn't even have to look up to realize who they belonged to.

"You were _rude_ to Seifer. That's **_not _**allowed."

Selphie looked up at Celia and put on a brave face. She was going to say something, but once again her voice failed her and refused to let her speak.

Pushing her feet against the grainy tiles of the changing room, she made it halfway to standing when Nichi placed a hand on her head and pushed her back down rather violently.

_Selphie, get yourNunchaku out!_

Doing what her mind told her, she reached into her bag, but only just felt the tip of her Nunchuku before Amber bent down and threw the bag over the other side of the room.

Celia squatted and grabbed a fistful of Selphies hair, yanking her head up so they were face to face.

"Seifers **_not_** happy," she snarled, "And when **_he's_** not happy, **_we're_** not happy."

The last thing Selphie felt was her head being slammed back against the hard wall behind her, the last thing seen was her vision closing in, images fading to black.

When Selphie finally came to, it took her brain a while to remember where she was. At first all she felt was a blinding pain in her stomach and sides, followed by a dull ache slowly residing in her lower back. Then it hit her that she was unusually cold and appeared to be soaking wet.

Looking around, she registered her surroundings, put two and two together and realized she was slumped on the communal shower floor, which was linked onto the changing rooms.

One of the shower heads had been turned on above her and was squirting out ice cold water, which was beating down onto her head, soaking her hair and clothes.

Selphie knew she couldn't just sit there forever, but when she made the slightest attempt to get up, the pain in her stomach flared through her body and left her gritting her teeth.

Flopping back down to the floor, she lifted up the bottom of her dress to look at her stomach. Just above her belly button was a bruise around the size of a large fist.

It had already turned a mixture of mauve and red, but Selphie noted that no skin had been broken. There was a few grazes on her legs along with hardly noticeable red marks.

Pulling down her skirt, Selphie clutched her stomach and focused all her energy into getting up.

Reaching up for the shower switch, she flipped it off, halting the flow of cold water which had soaked her to the bone. Crawling at a snail's pace towards her bag, she searched inside for her pager, a plain, chunky looking thing that each SeeD was issued with. She sent a message to Zell, telling him to come into the girls changing rooms, not giving a damn about how suspicious it might sound to him.

Selphie sat slumped on the bench, one hand resting on the side and the other one still holding onto her stomach. She tried to remember what had happened, but only pieced together that she had passed out due to the hit her head got. Reaching her hand up to the back of her head, she felt a small bump forming and winced. Bringing her hand back to her face, she looked for any traces of blood but found none.

Around five to ten minutes later, Zell walked in looking rather hesitant, followed by Irvine. When they both saw her sitting on the bench, dress soaking wet and her hair drenched and unruly, they didn't quite know what to think.

Sighing, Selphie filled them in.

"They did it again."

Irvine seemed to catch on immediately and went walking over to her, boots clicking on the floor. Zell stood there and asked her what she meant.

"Celia . . . and her _'posse'_. They . . . beat me up. _Again_."

During her speaking, Irvine had taken off his tan duster and placed it around Selphie, along with his arm.

Zell scratched his head and asked, "Why are you all wet?"

"They dumped me in the shower. I can't walk very well; I think they kicked my stomach a few times. And I blacked out because they shoved my head against the wall."

At this point, Selphie began to break down in tears.

"I . . . I _can't_ . . . do this . . . _anymore_!" she whispered in between sobs.

Irvine placed a large hand on the back of her head (being careful not to touch the hurt area) and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms all the way around her.

Zell took one of her small hands in hisand raised the question of why they did it. The two men seemed to be having a conversation over her head as she calmed down into Irvine's chest.

When she lifted her head, he looked down at her with eyes full of concern and she couldn't help but think that he'd finally come to his senses.

_He's come back. He's mine again._

"I . . . I _think_ they did it because of Seifer."

Zell frowned at the mention of his enemy's name.

"What do you mean?"

"I had a run in with him earlier. And . . . he kept grabbing my wrist and _pushing_ me. The he said something really . . . _crude_, so I kneed him where it hurts."

Zell clenched his fists, the leather in his gloves letting out little creaks.

"_Bastard _. . . I'll get him."

The blonde stood up, a light flush coming to his cheeks in anger. Selphie tugged at his sleeve.

"_Don't_. He'll only hurt you worse. And I wouldn't put it past him to carry out his threat. So . . . _don't_."

"What was it he said exactly?" This came from Irvine, who had warmed her up considerably since they first found her.

"He said . . . _'I'll break you in for Irvine'_ . . ."

Selphie blushed. In the background, Zell had become visibly more fired up.

"I say we go kick his _fat butt_ into next year."

Irvine smiled a little at Zells comment and turned back to Selphie.

"You said it was just Celia and that lot that did this?"

"_Uh-huh_. Seifer wasn't in here."

"Okay. Well, let's go back to your room and get you dried off."

"I can't walk too well at the moment."

Irvine stood up and bent over slightly.

"Get on."

"_Huh_?"

"I'll give you a piggy back."

Selphie felt a bit awkward straddling the cowboy, as they'd only just moved on to talking terms, but it hurt her greatly to move much, so she did as she was told.

He carried her back to her dorm, getting a few odd looks along the way from the more conceited students. Zell followed, carrying Selphies bag over his shoulder.

Once inside, Irvine put Selphie down on her brightly coloured bed and went into the bathroom to fetch a hairdryer and some towels.

"_Yo_ guys, I'm gonna go find Quistis and help her with some last minute festival stuff."

Selphie looked up at Zell hopping on his feet from her perched position on the end of her bed.

"Come back later though?"

Zell smiled, "Sure thing, Sef."

Before leaving, he bent down and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Don't worry too much about stuff _okay_?"

Selphie watched Zell whisper something to Irvine before he walked out of the door. Little did she know that what he said about going to see Quistis was a total lie. He was really going on the prowl to find a certain three girls and let off steam by means of a fight . . .


	20. The Trouble With Seifer

**A/n: This one took a bit longer to get up, but i hope you all like it. Again, thanks for all your reviews. ♥ ♥ ♥ **

_"Never say goodbye, if you still want to try. Never give up if you feel you can go on. Never say you don't love a person, if you can't let go."_

Selphie opened the bathroom door and stepped out, wrapped in a fluffy yellow toweling robe which seemed pale and frayed with age, and much too big for her lithe frame.

Her hair was wet, but not dripping, and appeared a much darker shade of brown than usual, making her porcelain features and emerald green eyes stand out.

Behind her, Selphie shut the door, not wanting the steam from her bath to escape and set off the sensitive fire alarm in her room. Irvine lay on her bed, propped up against her pillow, cowboy hat next to his side and arms crossed behind his head.

Looking up, he gave her a smile fit to melt the heart of any sane girl.

"Y'have a nice bath?"

Nodding, Selphie went over to her bed, clutching her robe shut with both hands, in case the belt holding it shut decided to fail her.

After Zell had left, Irvine had run Selphie a deep warm bath, putting in tons of her favourite strawberry bubble bath. He'd even knocked on the door and offered to wash her hair for her, but she'd refused. She had her suspicions that he might've been trying it on, even though the mass amount of bubbles kept her whole body covered.

"Want me to leave, so you can get dressed?"

"No . . . stay here."

Selphie, although feeling a little awkward, forced herself to get onto her bed next to him and lay down. She left a small space in between her body and his, knowing that she might be giving off the wrong signals to him, but didn't care. Her body was still aching from the beating she had taken, and to put on clothes seemed too much of an effort to her at the moment.

Selphie didn't notice Irvine's left arm draped around her shoulders until he decided to pull her closer to him in one swift, gentle movement. The towel that was wrapped around her wet hair had fallen off on the bed, leaving it damp against the side of Irvine's face.

She felt him pushing up closer to her, and heard him inhale deeply.

"_Mm_, you smell good enough to eat, _I _reckon."

Selphie smiled at his southern-like Galbadian drawl, turned onto her side (careful not to make the pain in her loins flare up) and burrowed into his side, much resembling a small rodent.

She was still aware that only a few days ago, he had been with her worst enemies and still resented him just a little bit for it. But . . . things were getting better, and although she still felt depressive at times, she knew that with the chance of Irvine staying by her side, and with the help of her friends, she would soon conquer her demons one by one, whether it took a week, a month, a year or a lifetime.

Irvine was now holding Selphie in a tight embrace, making her head press up next to his broad chest, her ear in line with his heart. With the room being silent and the hall outside free of students, his steady heartbeat and the soft sound of him breathing was all she could hear. She soon felt the heavy blanket of sleep enveloping her and letting her senses and mind take a rest. What seemed to be a few minutes later, Irvine shifted next to her, pulling her back into the daylight of the world.

Selphie felt rather annoyed that he'd woken her, but when she felt him running his fingers through her damp, entangled hair, all bad-tempered thoughts seemed to dissolve with each new touch of his hands.

Irvine looked down at the girl next to his side, her forest green eyes gazing up at him with such intensity, that it seemed to wake up every nerve and emotion in his body.

With him still stroking her drying chesnut tresses, Selphie watched Irvine's eyes crinkle up slightly at the corners, in what appeared to be a slight smile. She became lost in the swirling colours of his sapphire-indigo eyes as he leaned in towards her in what appeared to be the beginnings of a kiss.

At that very moment however, just as their lips were about to touch for the first time in months, someone had chosen to knock sharply three times on the door.

Selphie could tell that Irvine was a tad annoyed, because she heard him curse under his breath when he slipped off the bed. She herself was a bit chagrined, but was also curious to see who was in need of her. Of course, they both expected none other than Zell, master of bad-timing. The knack of walking in on people in important moments came naturally to him, so much so that it should've been a skill on his personal SeeD report.

But, Irvine opened the door to a slightly concerned looking Quistis.

"Oh, hello Irvine, Selphie's there I assume?" she asked, looking somewhat amused.

Irvine opened the door further, mumbling something incoherent and probably rude as Quistis stepped inside and shut the door.

"Hello Selphie"

Selphie sat up and hugged her robe around herself, which seemed to be exposing her legs due to her change of position.

"Hey Quis. Aren't you usually teaching at this time?"

"Oh _no_. Well, I _was _supposed to be, but I think this is more important. Erm, can I sit down?"

"Oh sure . . ." Selphie patted the space next to her on her bed. Quistis unclasped her hands from in front of her and sat down next to her friend, giving a smile to Irvine, who was over in the far corner, slouched into Selphies yellow bean bag with his legs open.

"So . . . what's important?"

Quistis faced her smaller, younger friend, looking her over for signs of her earlier torment.

"Well, I heard what happened earlier on . . . with those three girls, and I wanted to see if you were okay and-,"

Selphie, not being one granted with patience, interrupted her, "Who told you? Was it Zell? I _bet _it was Zell . . ."

Quistis took off her glasses, which she still had perched atop the bridge of her nose, probably from earlier teaching.

"Yes, it was him, was he not suppose to tell anyone?"

Selphie sighed, "No. I mean, I didn't_ tell_ him to keep it quiet, but I guess I didn't want it _spread around_ either."

"Oh _no_. It won't be. I'm not going to tell anyone . . ._ but_ . . ."

"But what?"

Quistis shuffled around uncomfortably.

"Quis? _Tell_!"

"Ohh, I just think that maybe someone higher should know whats going on between you and these girls. Maybe you should tell Cid."

Selphie moved position, curling her legs up underneath her.

"_The Headmaster?!_"

"Yes . . . but you don't have to," Quistis quickly added on. She didn't want to be around if Selphie lost her temper. She was quite the firecracker once she got started.

"I . . . don't really want to."

"I'm just worried about you. I'm not just an Instructor, you know. I'm your_ friend_ too. I _care_."

Selphie looked up from her duvet, to her blonde girl friend. She always acted so much older than everyone, and was always the responsible one out of the orphanage group. Selphie could remember back when they were toddlers. She had fallen and scraped her knee against one of the rough boulders near the ocean, causing a small cut. Quistis was first on the scene, dressed up in a little nurse's hat, a fake stethoscope dangled around her neck. Whilst Selphie was crying, she had patched up her knee with a plaster, and hugged her, telling her not to cry. Then they had both gone off and played with their little pink tea cups and teddy bears.

"I _know_ you're my friend. And I _know _you care, but . . . this is something I have to sort out myself . . . maybe with just a little help from you guys."

Quistis smiled softly and leaned into Selphie. They both sat there cuddling tightly for a while, until Selphie noticed a dirty smirk plastered on Irvine's face.

"_Stop_ it!"

Quistis pulled away, not at all bothered by the comment made.

"That wasn't directed at you, Quisty.Irvine's being a perv."

"Hey, no I'm _not!_ Just . . . enjoying the touching moment."

"_Perv_."

"Am not."

"_Are_."

"_Not_"

The blonde instructor brought her small hand up to her mouth and sniggered behind it.

"You two are _so_ _**cute**_."

"Yeah . . . what you up to now, Quis? Gonna _'accidentally'_ bump into Seifer and then _'accidentally'_ go into the storage closet?" Irvine quipped, a naughty glint appearing in his eye as he twirled his hat in his hands.

Quistis got up and placed her hands on her curvy hips, a frown starting to grow on her soft features.

"There is absolutely _nothing_ going on between Seifer and me. He's my student . . . that's _all_. I give him a bit of extra help."

"Yeah, in the_ bedroom_ department!"

"_No_ . . ."

"Yes."

Quistis rolled her eyes and sighed. "Well. Selphie take care, maybe we can all meet up soon and have a good time?"

"Yeah. Okay. Rinoa's the arranging one; she's probably arranging something right now."

"Yes, well, I have to get back to _boring_ old instructor work. I'll see you two later."

She gave Selphie a goodbye hug and waved to Irvine before slinking out of the door, leaving the two alone again.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Zell had plenty of time to think and bring all his angry thoughts to a standstill whilst looking for a certain three girls, but never being one to think about his actions, he carried on rampaging through hallways and classrooms on his search.

Just as he was turning into the Quad, he bumped straight into none other than Seifer.

"Well, well. If it _ain't_ the chicken."

"Move out, _asshole_. I'm not in the mood for you."

Seifer placed a hand on his chest and smirked, making the corner of his bottle green eyes crease up.

"Oh, chicken, you _break_ my _heart_."

Zell mumbled something and pushed past Seifer. He simply scoffed and walked out of the entrance shaking his head.

On the benches, down the stairs in front of him sat the three he had been filled with hatred over. The three that had caused him this massive, rampant search around Balamb Garden, his blood boiling in his veins out of compassion for his friend whom they had hurt so much.

Zell watched them flicking their long hair and flailing their arms out of excitement through gossiping as he stamped over to them.

Amber was the first to look up at his oncoming approach and also the first to spit out venomous words.

"Why the hell is that _short-ass_ _idiot_ coming over to us?!"

Celia looked up from polishing her Crescent Wish, which was coloured the most ghastly bright pink you could've ever seen.

_She wouldn't even have to swing that; monsters would take one look at it and pass out._

Zell smirked at his thought before stopping in front of them with his toned arms crossed over his chest.

"What do you want, _punk_?"

Nichi giggled and mocked kindness, "_Aw_, didn't anyone tell you . . . That era ended years ago _honey_."

Zell frowned.

"The _hell_ are you talkin' about? Haven't you ever looked at_ yourself_? Side show freaks went out of business in the 1900's,_ girls_."

Gasps of _"He's so rude"_ and _"Oh My God"_ came from the girls on the bench beside him.

Celia stood up at this and placed a hand on his chest. Despite her having about 5 inches on his height, Zell didn't feel the least bit intimidated.

"You can't say that to _us_. Why don't you just leave?"

"Nah, that's okay, I'll just stay right here," he replied, whilst shrugging free of Celia's hand on his body.

"_Celiaaa_, get rid of him, his ugliness is _blinding_ me!"

Zell looked down at Nichi, who was laughing like a little girl with Amber.

"If I'm ugly, then _damn_, you must be hideous."

Nichi flicked her silky hair behind her ears and looked at him like he was an unknown kind of species.

"Speaking of _ugly_ . . . how's our best friend _Self harmer_ Tilmitt doing? Hasn't tried to kill herself because of us again has she? That'd be a _terrible_ loss!"

All three girls got a weird glint in their eyes as they laughed and Celia stuck out her bottom lip, pretending to cry.

"_Boo hoo_, I'm sad because the shop didn't sell that little black dress I wanted. I know, I'll go and _slit _my wrists open with a _razor_."

Once again, cruel laughter ensued, along with a lot of mixed in comments about Selphie.

Catching Celia off guard, Zell brought his leg back and kicked Celia I her ankle, causing it to buckle. With a yelp, she fell to the floor with a hard thump and a clatter of heels.

She quickly pulled down her short pleated uniform skirt, which had gathered at her waist after the fall.

Amber and Nichi jumped up from their seated position and went to their friend to ask if she was okay.

"Do I _look_ okay? That pervert _short-ass_, I hate him!"

Zell watched the two friends next to her glance at one of Celia's shoes, then exchange worried glances.

"Um, Cel . . . maybe you _shouldn't_ look down . . ."

"Huh? Why, wha- _AHHH!!_ _MY **SHOE**_ He broke my heel!! Not only were they expensive, they're _VINTAGE!_ One of a kind!"

Zell laughed, amused at how hysterical she had become over such an unimportant matter.

"You IDIOT!"

Celia still had her Crescent Wish on her, but it was slipped into a holster like black belt with fake diamond studding on it. Zell was fast to react when he saw her reaching for it. After all, he was 11 SeeD ranks above her.

Not being able to do much with her bottom sat on the floor, she pushed herself up, lacking the grace and agility any fighter should have.

_I can't believe they ever let someone like her into Garden in the first place. What good would she be on a mission?!_

Anger flared behind her eyes, just as she was about to swing her weapon in his direction.

However, she didn't even get the chance to do this, as Zell immediately bent his leg at the knee and shot it out into her stomach so fast that she didn't even have time to register that he was fighting back.

As Celia wheezed and clutched her abdomen, blonde hair falling over her face, her friends still sat on the floor, mouths agape in surprise at the force that the blonde male had struck their ringleader with.

"Get up **bitches**!" Zell spat, bouncing on his heels and shadow boxing, buzzing with adrenalin.

Amber and Nichi were in the process of getting up anyway, but they appeared to be answering his command. Zell didn't know what weapons these two were skilled in, but he figured that they couldn't be very good at it, seeing all they did included skipping lessons to go shopping, bully others and gossip.

Quick as a flash, he shot his fist out into Amber's lower stomach and hooked his foot around the bottom of Nichi's left leg, causing her to fall front ways to the hard tiled floor.

Zell moved back to Celia, who swung her horrendous pink Crescent Wish at him, hitting him on his right side with a smack.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you're fooling with, _Dincht_?"

Zell left hooked her around the shoulder and punched her again with his right fist, landing it into her already hurt stomach.

"Obviously someone with shitty reflexes."

Whilst she was huffing for air again and doubled over, Zell glanced to his left where Nichi was standing. Her lip was cut open from where she had fallen, and was dripping blood down the front of her uniform. Amber was walking towards her friend, trying to escape.

Zell decided to let them go. The real person he was angry with was right in front of him, coughing and gritting her teeth. The blonde, air headed leader. Where-ever she went, they were sure to follow, but it looked as if they had abandoned her in a time of need.

"Where are your friends now, _huh_?"

Zell drop kicked her whilst she was still half bent over, causing her to fall to the floor again.

"Must be becomin' a familiar place down there . . ."

Getting a little carried away, he ploughed his foot into her side twice.

"How'd _you_ like bein' kicked shitless? Huh? _Huh_?"

Celia groaned.

"Not much fun _is it_?"

Upon hearing footsteps behind him, Zell turned around and saw the two girls return, followed by an angry looking Seifer.

_Shit._

Seifer took one look at him, then one look at Celia, who had pulled herself up and now sat on the bench slumped, with blood coming out of her mouth.

"What the _**fuck**_ have you done, chicken?!"

Despite feeling a bit shaky about the presence of his long time enemy, Zell stood his ground and folded his arms over his chest once again.

"I gave her a taste of her own medicine. What does it _look_ like?"

The taller blonde came striding up to him, grey trench coat flapping out behind, followed by Amber and Nichi.

Coming face to face, Seifer bent down, patronizing Zell and leaning in close.

"Don't get smart with me, you _little shit_. So what if she beat up your _annoying girlfriend_, she had it comin'."

Zell clenched his fist, "Selphie's _not_ my girlfriend! And she didn't deserve_ any_ of the crap that they've given her!"

"Well, they want that _cowboy_ of yours, God knows _why _though . . .And _she's_ still in the way, so looks like _you_ ain't gonna stop them anytime soon . . ."

Seifer brought the side of his trench coat back and fingered the handle of Hyperion.

"I'd go if I was you, or I'll shove my gunblade up your ass _so far_, you'll have it comin' out of your_ mouth_."

Zell was fuming inside, but dealing with Seifer was not as easy as dealing with three retarded blonde girls who thought they ruled the world.

"You'd better keep a close eye on Selphie too. Wouldn't want her to get hurt now, _would_ we?"

The mocking undertone in Seifers words made Zell suspicious and curious. He decided not to question, but to take his advice and leave rather hastily. Without having to look behind him, he could feel Seifers eyes burning into the back of his skull with a hatred that made him shiver.


	21. Night time fun

**A/n: Apologies if i offended anyone _CoughFloralBlackMoonCough_ in my last chapter with the whole Zell being a male and him beating up females . . . Anyhoo, this chapters more about the group just having fun . . so . . read on i guess.**

"_She put on happiness like a loose dress  
Over pain I'll never know  
"So the peace you had," she said,  
"I must confess, I'm glad to see it go."  
We're two white roses lying frozen just outside his door  
I've made you so happy and so sad,  
But which should I be more sorry for?"_

_-----------------------------------------_

Selphie had finally decided it was time she ought to get up and dressed, despite how tranquil she felt resting in Irvine's arms. Walking slowly towards her wardrobe, she winced at how each step sent a faint pain shooting into her stomach and up her side.

Turning around, she looked back in the direction of her bed and a resting Irvine.

Selphie ran her eyes softly over him, taking in every little detail of the sleeping man.

One of his arms was laying above his head, ruffling up his loose auburn hair. The other one was spread out on the bed. It was the one that was hugging her to him before she had gotten up.

The small slivers of sun that had found their way in through the window were now gently playing on his face, illuminating his lightly tanned skin and showing up the fine hairs on his features. His clothes were rumpled due to the amount of times he had moved about, trying to find a comfortable position for sleeping and hugging Selphie at the same time.

Selphie leaned her head against the wardrobe, a small smile forming on her pink lips.

Looking above her bed, to the clock that hung on the wall, she saw that it was getting on for four o' clock. Turning back to her wardrobe, she rooted through her clothes and pulled out a black roll neck jumper with an embroidered yellow chocobo on the front.

Tugging on a hanger, she pulled out her stonewash flared jeans. Glancing back over to Irvine, she wondered whether to change in front of him; after-all, she was pretty sure he was sleeping. After double checking, she went to her drawer and pulled out a pair of black knickers and a bra, putting them on hastily with her robe still wrapped around her.

Still staring intently at Irvine for any signs of life, she dropped her yellow wrap-around nightgown to the floor and bent down to pick up her jeans that she had placed on the end of the bed.

At this moment, Irvine began to stir, making the bed springs creak slightly under his moving weight. Selphie bit her lip as she watched his eyes flutter open and rest upon her semi-clad frame at the end of her bed.

Not having the sense to cover herself up or put on her jeans, she simply stood there whilst Irvine propped himself up on his elbows and smiled, giving her the once over.

"You tryin' to give me a heart attack or somethin'?"

"Oh, _um_ . . . err . . ."

The sharpshooter laughed at her stumbling over her words and lay his head back down onto the pillow, averting his gaze from her to the window.

"_Damn_, but you're beautiful."

Selphie quickly pulled on her jeans and shrugged on her jumper in a slapdash fashion, snagging one of her silver heart shaped earrings on a knitted thread.

She groaned and thought about the image she must be giving Irvine. Her head was still concealed in the jumper, which wasn't even pulled down over her chest, and her arms were only halfway into the sleeves and stuck in a _'praise-the-lord'_ position above her head.

"Need some help there, Sefie?" Irvine asked, sounding like he was stifling a chuckle.

Not waiting for a reply, he got up of the bed and walked over to where she was standing.

_Oh great, he must be getting an eyeful . . ._

Selphie felt his hands pull her arms through the sleeves and then unhook the single thread from its grasp on her earring. She pushed her head up through the roll neck and blushed heavily. Irvine took hold of the hem of her jumper and pulled it down over her upper body slowly, slightly brushing the top of her black bra with his hands as he did so.

Then he smiled at her with a cheeky glint in his violet eyes.

"Irvine Kinneas, that _better_ have been an accident."

"Of _course_ it was. You're forgetting I'm a gentleman."

"And _you_ seem to be forgetting that we've only just got back on speaking terms," Selphie quickly delivered back to him, souring the mood in the room a little.

Irvine hung his head, tendrils of his golden-brown hair hanging over his eyes, exaggerating how downtrodden Selphies words had made him feel.

Even though she knew that he was only putting on the hurt, tearful expression, she put a hand on the back of his head, and somewhat forcefully buried his face into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Irvine didn't reply, but coiled his arm around her waist and gave her a tight hug.

---------------------------------------------

Zell had decided to retire to his room, knowing it was the only place he wouldn't run into anyone annoying. That was until Rinoa tapped on the door and told him to open up.

Growling, Zell moved from his place in front of the television and let the ebony haired girl inside.

She stood with her hands behind her back and her head cocked to one side, leaving strands of her black hair to fall over her cheek.

"Hey Zell. Whatcha up to?"

The blonde sighed. He really wasn't in the mood to be dealing with Rinoa. He loved her dearly as a friend, but she had ways of getting on your nerves the instant she started asking questions. Thinking back to when he first met her, she had given off the impression that she was rather unorganized and a little dippy. However, when he had gotten to know her better, he saw that she was the Queen of organizing things she was keen on (such as shopping trips) but not all that good on organizing missions (such as the timber owls farce).

"Rin, did you want somethin' in particular?"

Rinoa flopped down on Zells unmade bed and stretched out her spine like a cat who had just awoken from a deep slumber.

"Fancy going out later? I mean, Squall wanted to stay in and watch a movie with me, but I really feel like going back to that nightclub, because, _you know_, I think it-,"

"**Shut up**."

Rinoa sat up and gave Zell a look of utter disbelief, with something that resembled a hint of sadness behind her chocolate coloured eyes.

He sighed, "Look, I'm sorry. I've had a pretty crappy day."

"_Oh._ That's alright. So, you don't wanna come out? I'll ask everyone else too . . ."

Zell sat down on his bed, next to where the small, porcelain skinned girl had parked herself, looking at him with hopeful eyes.

"Well, I know for a fact Selphie won't go. And if _she_ won't go, _Irvine _won't go, and if _Irvine_ won't go, then it won't be much of a group, will it?"

Rinoa frowned and tilted her head in a familiar gesture.

"Why won't Selphie go?"

"She got beaten up again earlier on today and-,"

"Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?! I'm _always_ the last to know!"

"Calm down Rinoa. It's not on purpose. But, her and Irvine are on speakin' terms now, so I'm guessing they probably wanna spend some time alone with each other."

Rinoa crossed her arms over her chest and stuck her lower lip out a little, then, in an instant, she perked up and a bright smile appeared on her delicate features.

"I _know!!_ We can all have, like, a _sleepover_!"

Zell jumped, a little taken back by her sudden change of mood and loud outburst.

"Where? My dorms too small . . . so is everyone's . . ."

"Nope. Squalls got a _huge_ one!"

The martial artist smirked at his friend's choice of words. When she saw this, she began to blush and smacked Zell on the arm.

"I meant his dorm!"

"_Sure _. . ."

"Hey! _Shut up!_ Anyway, he won't mind . . ._ I'll_ persuade him. OHH this is gonna be soo fun! We can watch movies, and eat popcorn and play games! I'm going to go and find the others, I'll page you later _okay?!_"

Zell laughed at how excited Rinoa was getting. She resembled a little girl on Christmas Eve, full of energy and awash with enthusiasm of things to come.

----------------------------------------------------

Zell must've dozed off, because an odd scurrying feeling in the back pocket of his black combat jeans woke him up with a start. At first, he scrabbled frantically at his trousers, thinking a small creature had crawled into them, but when he woke up a bit more, he realized it was his pager vibrating.

Laughing at himself, still groggy with sleep, he pulled it out of his pocket, and read the message he had just received.

It was from Rinoa, it read:

_**Sleepovr on 4 2night. Bring sleepin bag n watevr else! Evry1's comin. Knok at Squalls dorm at 21:00 hours. See ya Blondie! Rinoa x-x**_

Zell raised his wrist up to his face and squinted in the darkness of his room to read his watch. It was already 8:45.

_Sheesh, did I really sleep for that long?_

Getting up from the bed with a stretch, he yawned and thought about knocking on Selphies door.

_Nah, Rinoa said everyone was goin', so she's bound to be . . ._

The tattooed blonde sat on the side of his bed with his eyes shut for a minute or two, before pushing himself up and getting his stuff. He tiptoed and reached on top of his wardrobe, cursing at his height whilst feeling around for his sleeping bag. When his hand came into contact with a soft, downy fabric, he grabbed it and pulled it down, shaking it free of any dust that may have collected over the time of it being shoved out of sight.

Next, Zell looked around and grabbed a couple of Rock CD's he had lying about his room.

_What the hell am I s'pose to wear if it's a sleep over thing? I sleep naked!_

After a bit of thinking, he decided not to bother and just go in the tight white t shirt and black baggy combats he was already wearing.

_If it bothers them, then I'll see how they like it if I strip off . . . I doubt any of the other guys wear pajamas anyway. That's a girl thing._

Done with thinking, he walked out and locked up his dorm.

Zell wasn't the first one to arrive at Squalls room. Quistis was already there, which was a surprise, seeing as she never usually went in for Rinoa's crazy ideas of fun. She was dressed in a tight black t-shirt, which showed off an inch of her navel, along with navy jogging pants, the type you change into after being in fancy clothes all day. Her blonde hair was loose around her shoulders, making a change to her usual up do.

"_Heyyyy_ Zell!" Rinoa squealed, running up to him and flinging her arms around his neck.

Quistis laughed, "She did the same to me . . . she's a little tipsy."

Rinoa looked the same; apart from she had taken off her blue cardigan, leaving her in just a small black top, hot-pants and blue arm-warmers.

Zell looked over his friends shoulder and saw a few bottles of alcohol on the floor.

Squalls dorm being large than everyone else's wasn't an understatement. It was at least three times the size of a normal room, and it had a little separate kitchenette and bathroom. It was more like an apartment.

The walls were painted a pale, silvery grey tone with a black freeze around the middle, typical Squall-like colours. A soft white carpet adorned the floor under their feet. In the middle of the room stood a double bed with black satin sheets and a cork billboard above it, pinned with various photos, post-it notes and drawing pins. There was a computer in the corner atop a black pine desk, surrounded by other random items, such as stationary and a telephone. The last thing Zells eyes came to rest on was a 40inch T.V, with a built in video recorder and a huge silver hi-fi system with unnecessarily large speakers next to it.

"Woah, this room is _massive!_ Cid really favours you Squall . . ."

Squall, who was resting atop his bed, simply looked over at Zell and grunted.

Just as he went to shut the door, Irvine barged in, tugging Selphie by her hand, who was holding a white plastic bag full of more alcohol and various snacks.

She was still dressed in the get-up she was in earlier. It was casual enough, and she had brought her pajamas in case she actually got sleepy.

Rinoa greeted Selphie and Irvine much the way she had done with Zell and Quistis.

"_Heh,_ been gettin' her drunk, Squall?" Irvine quipped.

"No, I'm not **_you_**."

"Hey man, that was harsh . . ."

"But true."

Both of the men exchanged knowing glances with the addition of a rare smile from Squall.

Rinoa was still hanging onto Selphie, arms around her neck.

"Um, Zell, get her off of me . . . _please?_"

He laughed and pried Rinoa away from the smaller brunette.

"Hey, Rinoa, there's Squall," Zell mocked, knowing that she would go to him.

"_Squuuaaalll!_" she screeched, whilst stumbling over to the bed and whacking into the side, causing her to fall on top of said boyfriend. He let out an_ 'oof'_ noise, and was about to push her off, when she nuzzled into his neck. Instead, he brought his arms up around her petite stature and hugged her closer to him.

Quistis giggled from her position on the floor. She was laying on her front and had her head cradled on her arms, looking up at the couple on the bed. Irvine had slumped down on the cushions spread around the room next to Zell, who had already popped open a can of beer. He threw one to the cowboy, who caught it swiftly and released the top, causing a small amount of the foaming liquid to spill out onto his white t-shirt.

Selphie walked over to Quistis, leaving the two drinking guys to have a 'man-to-man' talk.

"Hey Quis, you okay?"

"Yes, surrounded by_ couples_ though . . ."

"There's always Zell . . ."

Both of the girls laughed and looked over at him. He noticed them and gave a wink, followed by a cheesy thumbs up action.

Quistis wrinkled up her nose and stuck her tongue out at the blonde.

"He's very nice, but . . . _oh_ I don't know"

Selphie adjusted her position so that she was laying on her side, her arm bent and hand resting on her head to support it.

"There's only **_one_** couple in here anyway. Me and Irvy . . . we're not dating. We've only just gotten back to being friends."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to-,"

"Oh no, that's okay. I wish we _were_ a couple though."

Quistis looked at her younger friends forlorn expression and thoughtfully added, "You never know how tonight is going to turn out, Selphie."

"**_YO_**, put a video on already!"

This outburst had come from Zell, who was crawling across the cushioned floor to the two girls, currently looking at him with curiosity.

"It's not often you get to see a _**guy**_ on all fours . . ." Quistis whispered, which had the girls in fits of naughty laughter.

Irvine watched Selphie giggling, thinking how much she looked back to normal when she was happy. She caught his eye and smiled, which immediately beckoned him over to the group containing her, Zell and Quistis.

"_Hey_ hot stuff," he drawled.

Selphie put a hand on his face and pushed him over onto the cushions behind her and turned to Quistis, who was beginning to titter again.

Rinoa hopped off the bed behind them, making a rather loud thump when her feet came into contact with the floor below her. She deftly stepped over Selphie, but tripped over Quistis' arm, and with her current state of bad coordination; she let out a yelp and fell straight into Zells lap. Making no attempt to get up off him, she leaned over to the VCR and pressed a black button with a white 'play' sign engraved onto it.

**--Two movies and _a lot _of beers later . . .--**

"_Looky_, Zells fallen asleep . . ." Rinoa giggled, still intoxicated, the alcohol still running its course through her veins.

Selphie was half drunk, thanks to a coaxing Irvine. In fact, Quistis was the only one still capable of stringing together a rational sentence.

"_OH_ girls, leave him alone, he looks cute when he sleeps," the blonde informed, sitting cross-legged in the corner, snacking on something that looked like chocolate cake.

Rinoa and Selphie turned to each other and sung in unison, "_Quisty loves Zell_!!"

Quistis rolled her eyes at their immaturity, but then laughed when she saw them getting distracted by the martial artists sleeping form beside them.

Zell had obviously dozed off whilst the others were still concentrating on the ending of the sappy romance-mixed-with-hammer-horror movie that Rinoa had insisted they watched. He had his head propped up on one of the many scattered cushions and his arms were resting across is stomach, his hand clutched together loosely with the fingers entwined. He would've looked rather peaceful, if not for the two girls looming over him and scheming.

Rinoa giggled and prodded Zells stomach lightly, making him let out a small whimper, not that far off from the noise a scolded puppy would create.

Selphie stifled a laugh and said, "Let me have a go."

She hovered a hand above his face and lifted up one of his eyelids gently. Underneath, a sky blue eye could be seen rolled back in sleep, flittering occasionally.

Irvine was sitting with Quistis, watching the two girls acting like pre-teens with a new toy they had just been given. Mostly though, he was observing Selphie. He was in half a mind to go over there and drag her back to his room for 'midnight activities' but he knew that was wrong: _one_-because she was drunk and _two_- because she looked so carefree and happy, it would be a shame to disturb her.

Rinoa was now in fits of uncontrollable laughter, which was only encouraging the small brunette next to her.

"DO **_both_** eyes!"

Selphie did as she was told immediately. Holding both of Zells eyelids up at the same time proved to be quite the task for a drunken lady to complete. In doing so, she must've woken the sleeping form below her, as suddenly, both of his eyes spun forward and focused on her.

Both of the girls screamed and fell backwards. Zell moaned and rubbed his face.

"The _hell?_" he mumbled groggily.

Quistis laughed at the shocked twosome, watching the victim of Rinoa and Selphies antics sit up.

He homed in on the still-laughing Quistis and questioned her.

"Why didn't you stop them? I was having a good dream . . ."

"I _tried_ . . . kind of."

Selphie started up again, whilst crawling over to into Irvine's lap.

"**_NO_** she didn't, all she said was that you looked cute asleep-,"

"Which you do, _Zelly-boy_," Irvine piped up, deciding to tease him.

"Shut _up!_" The blonde cringed at his nick name, which was started up by none other than Rinoa, along with her latest 'fashion' of calling him 'Blondie'.

Whilst all this was going on, Squall was in the small kitchen making him and Rinoa coffee, in a vain attempt to try and sober them both up. Secretly, he also wanted to get away from the entire group. They were too noisy for his liking at the moment.

Glancing up at the clock on the wall, he sighed. It was 2:00 am. Normally at this time, Squall was either in bed asleep, or lazing about on top of the bed with Rinoa. A yelp from the other room drew his attention back to the present. Glancing in through the open gap which allowed him to see into his living area, he saw (to him) something that resembled utter chaos. Rinoa was being tackled by Zell, scattering empty drink bottles and popcorn everywhere in the process.

If there was one thing Squall despised, it was mess. But this time, he decided to just let it go and block the group out yet again. Leaning back into the side of the countertop, he sipped at his hot coffee and closed his eyes.

Back in the room, Selphie had calmed down and was snuggled in between Irvine's legs, head on his chest, his strong arms wrapping themselves and his old tan duster around her.

Everyone had generally relaxed. Rinoa had gone into the kitchenette and brought out a grumpy looking Squall, who soon cheered up when he realized people were settling down and not making a mess.

Zell had moved next to Quistis. He tucked his legs under her spread open sleeping bag whilst they continued talking quietly about each-others latest romantic conquests.

Irvine shifted under Selphie, causing her to look up at him with those all too familiar crystalline green orbs.

He smiled down at her gently, stroking her hair with one hand and wrapping the other tighter around her waist.

"You really are the most _beautiful_ girl I've ever laid eyes on, Sefie."

A small smile played upon her dusky pink lips as he kissed the top of her head. For once, she could be sure that she would sleep well wrapped in his arms with the lingering feel of his kiss atop her head and his loveable words gracing her dreams . . .


	22. Almost blue

**A/n: Thank-you to all reviewers: newbies and regulars. Writers block is a bummer.**

"_Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."_

Just as the first rays of golden sun were beginning to peep through the clouds adorning the sky, Selphie had awoke to find herself still snuggled in a certain mans arms.

Being careful not to wake him, she moved gently into a different, more comfortable position, still wrapped inside his tan leather cattleman's coat. With her eyes still half shut in a sleepy haze, she looked around the room slowly, focusing on the other sleeping forms scattered about her.

The first person she saw happened to be Zell, who appeared to be deep in slumber nestled in a sleeping bag. His mouth was slightly agape and his usually gelled-to-perfection hair mussed, with a few blonde tangles hanging down into his shut eyes.

Selphie smiled. Not too far away slept another blonde. Quistis was sound asleep and wrapped in numerous blankets, always the one afraid of catching a cold. Strands of her shiny hair had also fallen into her face, which was bound to happen because she hadn't tied it up in her usual formal style.

In her arms, she clutched a cream king size pillow to her chest, dainty hands occasionally twitching against the fabric, rose-bud pink lips caught in a slight smile.

Selphie couldn't help but wonder who Quistis was dreaming about. Was it a man? Was it someone they all knew? If so, was she clutching that pillow to her chest thinking it was him in her arms?

Settling her eyes upon the large bed, Selphie clearly saw two lumps under the covers, which she presumed to be the still sleeping forms of Rinoa and Squall.

Contented that she was still surrounded by those who cared for her, she relaxed again and sank deeper into Irvine's embrace, but not without looking up at him first. His eyes were shut, leaving long, dark eyelashes to cast spidery shadows upon the skin underneath them. In the first slivers of dim light that had crept in through the curtain gap, Selphie noticed that a pink hue adorned and illuminated his cheeks ever so slightly. Reaching up, she gently swept her small fingers over one of them, noticing how his skin felt like satin and was so soft that after a while, she couldn't even be sure she was still touching it.

Still half asleep, she brought her hand down to where Irvine's hair lay loose upon his shoulders and was not surprised to find that this, too, was silken and without a tangle in sight.

Smiling to herself, she let her head settle back upon his chest and listened to his steady heart. Once again, Selphie searched for a more comfortable position without trying to wake the man under her. Trying to be careful, she shifted her legs around in the space between Irvine's and wriggled about some in his lap, all the while keeping her head glued to his warm chest. The tempo of his heart-beat, which was currently resonating in her ear, had gone from a slow, steady pace, to a louder, thumping one.

Selphie lifted her head and glanced up at the supposed napping cowboy, suspecting that maybe, just maybe, he was not asleep at all and perhaps just feigning it.

Half smiling, half frowning, she said quietly, "_Irvine Kinneas_."

For around 3 seconds he managed to keep a straight, still 'asleep' face, but a smile soon broke out, shortly followed by his eyes opening slowly and settling upon the girl still snuggled in his lap.

Selphie furrowed her eyebrows and pouted a little.

"I _knew_ you were awake . . ."

Irvine grinned and winked down at her, before his eyes shut and he let out a huge yawn.

Hearing the small brunette in his lap give out a little laugh, he adjusted his loose arms around her waist and gave her a tight squeeze, while burrowing his nose into her soft hair, inhaling its wild scent.

Selphie shuffled around again, before mimicking Irvine and slipping her arms around him as well.

"Do you _ever _stop _movin'_?" He quipped sleepily, still nuzzling his face into her neck.

She didn't answer but began wriggling around more inside his arms cheekily, disrupting the way his large coat was covering them both up.

"Hey, you've gone and got us all cold now."

This little statement was followed by Irvine removing his arms from around her and placing his hands upon the sides of her upper frame. Selphie stiffened up when he did this simple action. Irvine smirked, knowing for a fact that this was one of the most ticklish places on Selphies body that he'd found as of yet.

He hadn't even begun to move his hands yet and she had already started to stifle giggles.

As he went to run his tickling fingers up and down her side, she let out an almighty squeal, akin to that of a frightened, oversized mouse, waking up Zell in the process.

He shot up in his sleeping bag, his blue eyes the size of saucers and scanning the room, until they came to rest upon a rather guilty looking Selphie.

"Was that you?"

She nodded her head, flushing a delightful shade of red.

"Sorry Zell. _Um_, I won't do it again."

" . . . How did that _not_ wake anyone else up?"

Selphie shrugged and turned her head to look back at Irvine, who was currently pretending to be asleep again . . . until she elbowed him in the stomach.

"_Irvine!_ You're as much to blame as me!"

Zell narrowed his eyes at Irvine whilst slumping back down into his warm, feathery sleeping bag.

"Yeah, what were you two _doin'_ anyway?"

"He start-,"

"Actually, _don't _tell me. Anything that involves Irvine in a bedroom with you should be kept quiet."

Selphie frowned up at Irvine, who was laughing and exchanging a knowing glance with his male friend.

Seeing this, she got annoyed. "_Hey!_ We weren't doing anything like _that!_"

Zell ran a hand through his messy blonde hair and casually replied, "_Sure_ you weren't, Sef."

"We _weren't_!"

"Yup."

"Look, just because he's the _connoisseur ladies man_ and has half the girls in the Garden drooling at his feet, it doesn't mean I'm your average 2 Gil hooker!"

"Whoa. Chill out Selphie."

"No, don't tell me to _chill out_, you idiot!"

Zell was a little taken aback by Selphies over-the-top reaction to his and Irvine's little joke and found himself staring at her with an odd expression on his face.

"Don't look at me like that!!!"

The small, enraged female elbowed herself out of the loose embrace Irvine still had her in and pushed herself up off the soft carpeted floor, deciding that she'd had enough of talking to both of them.

"_Hey_, Sefie, you were keepin' me warm, sugar."

"Well I'm pretty sure you can find someone else to '_keep you warm'_, seeing as you never hesitated before."

With that she, stepped over the still sleeping form of Quistis and made her way huffily out of Squalls room, without saying a word more.

Zell and Irvine looked at each other, a little uneasy at the state the usually placid girl had left in.

"So . . . I guess she still hasn't forgiven me for that then . . ."

The blonde opposite him simply shook his head back and forth, feeling a little blameworthy for the mood that had arisen so quickly in one of his best friends.

Deep down, he secretly thought that he should go and check on Selphie and maybe apologise, but the presence of Irvine kept him from doing so.

He didn't want him to get the wrong end of the stick, and if Irvine wasn't worried, then surely, he shouldn't be either?

---------------------------------------------

Selphie slammed the door to her room, making the various photo frames and objects on the shelves wobble and almost fall from their place.

Stepping into the bathroom, she put the plug in the bath and turned the hot water tap on, deciding that she felt rather unclean after spending the night in Squalls dorm. Although it wasn't dirty, Selphie tended to dislike sleep-overs with guys involved, because she was always too conscious of what she might look like when she awoke.

Sitting down on the closed toilet seat, she hung her head down in her hands and sighed, not bothered about the strands of soft brown hair tickling her face. It was still early dawn, but she didn't feel tired at all as she sat and tried to figure out why she was so highly-strung.

Selphie knew she had over-reacted, but at the time, she just couldn't stop herself from screwing at Irvine. Eventually, she put it down to the fact that she was still very angry with him, although his presence had the tendency to calm her down sometimes. After coming to this conclusion, she decided to strip herself and slip into the warm tub of water next to her, which managed to clear her head of all thoughts and worries for the time being. . .

**Midday **

Quistis sauntered down the main corridor, clutching a large grey ring binder to her chest. It was bulging with papers and essays that needed sorting and marking, which would no doubt make her day longer than necessary and almost certainly more boring.

She came to the end of the hallway, which lead to the main hall where all the conferences and dances were usually held. Pushing open the heavy, ornately decorated doors, Quistis looked around the large hall and spotted Selphie in the corner with a few others students on the festival committee.

Whilst she began to walk towards the small brunette, she admired the labour and embellishment around her, in preparation for the flamboyant annual ball which was due to arrive in a few days.

Upon the walls hung lines of delicate white feathers, which had been threaded onto a black velvet ribbon with all the accuracy and skill of an expert craftsperson. Dotted about almost everywhere, were streams of silver ribbon. Some tied in huge fancy bows, some left to dangle and blow gently in the wind from the air vent, some curled and hanging over the black ribbon and some simply scattered around upon the floor, making it appear as if it had been touched by some sort of magic rain.

The four tables along the side of the hall (for the buffet and drinks) had been given equally as much attention and had been draped with a silver material, with a black lacy overlay with hung down to foot above the floor.

"Selphie, you've done a _wonderful_ job here! It's breath-taking!"

"Thanks Quis, but I doubt any of the people will even notice."

"Sure they will. Well, maybe not people like _Seifer_ or-,"

"Is he coming?"

"Isn't everyone?"

Selphie sighed for what must've been the fiftieth time that day, and began to chew on her bottom lip. Quistis noticed and cocked her head to one side in concern, leaving her long blonde hair, which was still loose, to move graciously over her back.

"Are you okay, Selphie?"

"Hm? Oh. I think so. I'm just thinking, that's all."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Selphie twiddled her fingers together nervously and glanced back at her fellow festival helpers, who looked busy with making last minute preparations to the lighting.

"I'll be alright. I need to get back and help them."

"Okay, drop by my room later if you want. Keep up the beautiful work."

"Thanks, I will."

Quistis turned her back and walked back out of the hall, looking upon all the décor as she did so. Before going out of the doors, she called out, "Only _three_ more days to go! It'll be such fun!"

Selphie waved to her blonde friend and feigned a smile. Fun wasn't the word that she would use for the upcoming event.

----------------------------------------------

Today was volunteer day for most of the older students in Balamb Garden. This meant that all students over the ages of sixteen had to help out in pairs with various things like sorting papers, helping out in the library and helping the instructors teach the younger years.

Zell had been assigned the latter. Children really weren't his thing, and here he was, stuck in a class full of about fifteen seven to eight year olds, waving their hands and creating unwanted noise.

He already had a headache, due to all the drinking done last night, and whats worse, the person he was put with to complete the pair was Seifer Almasy.

At present, Zell sat off to the side up the front of the class room, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor and occasionally giving his enemy a few evil glares. Seifer himself seemed unfazed and got up to go to a little girl who had her hand up in the air.

"What is it?"

He peered down at the small blonde girl sitting in her seat and chewing on one of her plaits.

"No, I don't want _YOU_, I want him."

The youngster pointed over to where Zell was currently seated and continued chewing on her hair. Seifer kept his sight on the young girl, no expression at all on his face. She just looked up at him with big green eyes, which would have appealed to other people, but not the resident bully. He had absolutely no time for cutesy little children and such annoying habits like hair chewing.

"Look, if you've got a problem with your work, **I **can solve it. He's crap."

Ignoring him completely, the timid little girl pushed her seat out, and walked over to Zell, asking for help with question number five.

Seifer walked back to his seat, clenching his jaw and staring at Zell as he smiled and took the pencil from the child, writing something down for her; probably the answer to whatever simple question appeared unsolvable.

Zell ushered the cute blonde kid back to her seat, completely blanking the scowling gunbladist in the corner. In the back pocket of his jeans, his pager began to buzz.

Upon pulling it out, he realised it was Irvine paging him. The message read;

**_Hey, Rin says we're all goin out agen 2nite. Back 2 Dollet niteclub. 8 til L8/ meet in car park. Irvine. Ps: bring Sefie 4 me._**

Glancing at the clock hung on the light blue wall behind him, he appreciated the fact that he only had to endure one more hour of childish screams and the creepy feeling of Seifer giving him death glares.

-------------------------------------------------

Squall parked the car on the opposite side of the road to the nightclub. It wasn't a standard Garden Issue car like they usually had to use to get places. This time, it was a racy black Ferrari, with brown leather seats and silver lined doors. Squall had borrowed it from his father, Laguna, for the night, with much reluctance on his part. The whole group had to squeeze together quite a bit to all fit in, but no-one seemed to mind.

There wasn't any queue at all outside the blue neon lit double entrance doors, making them think that maybe the club wouldn't be as packed as it had previously been. Its appearance was rather deceiving, as they soon found out once they stepped inside, that it was just as packed, if not more, as the last time they came here.

Rinoa and Squall scooted off to the bar to order everyone their first drink of the night, pushing their way through the crowds of bobbing people as they went.

Zell, Irvine, Quistis and Selphie headed over to one of the large pine tables in the corner, sectioned off from all the other ones. Irvine slid in next to Selphie, blocking her off from the other two rather rudely, although he didn't mean to.

"Why does Rinoa _always_ pick the student night?" Quistis asked, shouting a little over the loud beat of the music in the background.

"Probably 'cause the drinks are cheaper, and she likes to get piss-faced," Zell shouted back with a wide grin covering his features.

Selphie glanced around the table at her friends. Quistis was wearing a black shirt-dress, which was very figure hugging, and went down to just above her knees. It had a large lapel and buttons all the way down, although the first few top ones were undone, showing a pale slant of skin down to her cleavage.

Selphie hadn't really put much effort in, because she hadn't really felt like going out in the first place. She agreed to gosimply because she didn't want her friends to say she was a spoil-sport. She wore a white, three-quarter length sleeve top, with a v neck, and a delicate brown, ruffled knee length boho style skirt, which matched her brown slouch boots. Her hair was left in its usual style.

Irvine, on the other hand, had his auburn locks loose and spilling over his shoulders, with his black cowboy hat perched atop his head, as usual. He was wearing a tight white t-shirt with black bootleg jeans.

Selphie noticed Squall and Rinoa coming back with drinks and alerted them to the others.

"It's about time."

This little quip had come from the sharpshooter beside her. She frowned, but not so anyone noticed.

_Why does he always aim to get drunk?_

---------------------------------------

After about an hour and a half of ordering in drinks and sitting around laughing about past things, everyone apart from Quistis and Selphie, were completely off their heads with alcohol. Quistis was the one assigned to drive home, so only had one alcoholic drink so far, making sure she stayed under the limit. Although being sober, she still sat laughing and listening to Zells drabbling, occasionally looking over at Selphie and rolling her eyes at the drunken fighter.

Selphie had no choice but to join in with their insane conversation, of which the topic was certain questions of 'what would you do if', or turn and talk to Irvine. Rinoa and Squall were a lost cause, seeing as both their mouths were currently occupied on each other.

Quite some time ago, Irvine had decided to drape one of his arms around Selphies small shoulders, which she didn't mind all that much at the moment. She looked up at him and found him gawking at their two friends getting off, on the other side of the table.

Looking over herself, trying to find out what Irvine seemed so captivated in, she found that she couldn't actually see Rinoa's hands. Upon wondering where they were, she shook her head vigorously and decided she didn't want to know.

Turning back to Irvine, she raised her voice and said, "If they wanna do stuff like that, they should go get a _room_."

Irvine simply looked down at her and smiled with a hint of mischief glimmering in his purple eyes. He brought his other hand up and ran his fingers through Selphies butterscotch coloured hair.

_Uh-oh . . ._

"Irvine, I,-,"

He placed his index finger upon her slightly open mouth, silencing her.

". . . Sefie, you're so beautiful. I love you . . ."

Of course, as soon as those words were spoken, all rationality fled from Selphies brain, and she no longer contained the strength in her arms to push him off, nor did she want to.

All her world consisted of now, was Irvine closing in on her and pressing his soft lips firmly against hers. He was every bit as good of a kisser as she remembered, and became lost in the feel of his firm chest pushed up against hers and his strong arms wrapped protectively around her small form.

Just when Selphie thought it couldn't get any better, Irvine gently slipped his tongue into her mouth, and massaged hers with his. She could taste the alcohol on his breath, along with something else that tasted like toffee, but she didn't mind, because he was finally kissing her and it sent chills all the way down to her toes.

When they broke apart, Selphie was aware that she was grinning like an idiot. Usually, she would've blushed at kissing in such a public place with all her friends watching, but she didn't care, because for the first time in ages, she felt truly happy.

"I'm goin' up on the dance floor, you comin' babe?"

Giggling, she replied, "No, my head's still spinning."

Irvine simply smiled and winked, before slipping out of his seat and disappearing of into the crowd of dancing bodies.

"Wow, Selphie."

This came from Quistis, who had her head held slightly to the right and was playing with the rim of her glass which rested upon the table top.

Selphie took a deep breath and smiled back at her fair-haired girl friend.

"Looks like we've got some competition, Rin," Squall said, cradling his girlfriend in his arms. Selphie had been unaware that they had seen. She thought they would be too entwined in each other to notice what she and Irvine were doing.

Looking around, she noticed that Zell was no longer with them.

"Hey, where's Zell gone?"

Quistis giggled behind her hand and answered, "He got sick of all the couples kissing, so he went off to find some fun."

After about ten minutes of talking about what had just happened, Selphie announced that she was needed the toilet and would be back in a minute.

As she walked off, she could see the top of Irvine's hat amidst all the happy people on the dance floor, and smiled to herself before entering the neon pink toilets.

Selphie gave herself the once over in the mirror, before getting her hairbrush out of her small shoulder bag and brushing the stray hairs back into place. Rummaging in the depths of her bag, she brought out a pink candy flavoured lip balm, slicking a bit on her lips before giving herself a smile.

When she was done in the garishly lit rest room, she went back out onto the dance floor and decided to look for Irvine.

_Oh, there he is . . ._

Selphie smiled to herself, remembering his words to her as she got closer to him.

But, something was wrong. He wasn't dancing, and he had his back to her.

_Huh, what the . . ._

It was when she got a foot closer to him, pushing her way through all the other people in the club that she noticed he was holding someone. Holding someone, and kissing them as he had done her less than fifteen minutes back. Not just anyone, in fact, it was Celia.

Selphie didn't have the sense to walk away. Instead she was frozen to the spot, all the music and other people drowned out from around her. Now all she could focus on was him kissing Celia. Walking forward, Selphie hit Irvine around the back of the head before it finally got to her and she ran back off into the toilets, crying her eyes out.

She darted into an empty toilet cubicle and sat down on the closed lid with her head in her hands. It felt as though she was she was going to cry out her insides or be sick. Neither happened. She just continued to cry deeply with the image stuck in her head of what she had just seen. Even with her eyes open, it was all she saw.

Someone came out of the cubicle next to her. Selphie could hear whoever it was turn on the tap and use the hand dryer in the corner. Selphie hadn't shut the door properly, but left it open a foot. Before she could act and close it, it was pushed open to reveal a girl about the same age and height as herself, but with loose black hair, which hung crinkled just past her shoulders.

Selphie recognised her as the girl who worked in the library and the same girl that Zell had a crush on, and vice-versa. She had taken her hair out of its usual style and put it in a much better one.

"Are you okay?"

_Of course I'm not!_

Selphie sobbed even harder, but shook her head up and down in a 'yes' motion. She wasn't about to tell a stranger what had happened.

"Are you _sure?_ Would you like me to get you a glass of water?"

" . . . N-no, _thank you._ Just leave me alone, please."

This was all Selphie managed to get out before continuing to sob. When the girl had given her one last concerned look before she had gone, Selphie reached into her bag and brought out a plain silver tin. Though her vision was blurred due to tears, she opened the lid fine, reaching in to pull out one of her biggest razors.

Once again, all sense had fled from her brain. She couldn't believe that one could experience such a change of emotion within a couple of minutes. Going from ecstatic to manic depressive in such a short amount of time was too much for her. Irvine saying he loved her, and then witnessing him kissing her bully was too much for her as well.

Selphie rolled up the four wooden, beaded bracelets she had on her wrist, covering her previous attempt at suicide. The scar beneath them was still as red as when she had first done it, and had only healed slightly at the edges. She figured that it wouldn't be too hard to open it up again, if she just pressed the blade in deeper and harder.

Selphie heard the main door to the girls toilets get flung open with quite some force, before she saw a rather sobered up Zell standing in front of her. The library girl had obviously told him what a state she was in.

"_Selphie!_ Stop it!"

Looking up at her friend with wide, red rimmed eyes, she dropped her razor to the floor and broke down into tears again. Zell bent down next to Selphie and wrapped his arms around her, letting her sob into his shirt.

"_Zell_ . . . he . . . he was . . ._ kissing_ her."

"_Ssh._ I know. Don't cry. Come on, let's go. We'll get the train back to Balamb."

Selphie picked up her bag off the floor and stood up on wobbly legs, with Zells arms still around her. They walked out of the rest-room and after telling Quistis that they were going, they left the club, with what seemed a rather bitter end to night out on the tiles.


	23. Broken Hearted Detective

**A/n: To an anonymous reviewer, have you not heard of 'those' people that carry around implements to harm? Don't question. To whomever asked: I get the lines at the beginning of each story from songs, or quotes from various people(eg. philosophers..)**

_"I love you, and because i love you, i would sooner have you hate me for telling the truth, rather than adore me for telling you lies."_

_--------_

"Do you wanna stay in my room for a bit? We can talk . . . if you wanna," Zell asked his forlorn friend who stood before him. Selphie shook her head in a 'yes' motion so subtle, if you'd blinked, you would've missed it. She was no longer crying, but the pain was still there. Zell knew that. He could see it in her eyes and the way she held herself. Opening the door to his room for her, she stepped in slowly and walked over to window, soft footsteps padding on the carpeted floor.

Zell switched on his small T.V and turned the volume lower. As the image on the screen flashed into view, he saw that it was a nature program about the wild chocobos that still roamed the continent. Knowing that Selphie adored the fluffy, yellow birds, he beckoned her over and tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Hey Sef, there's a thing on Television about chocobos . . . _aww_, this one has chicks!"

Keeping his eyes locked on the petite brunette, he noticed that she didn't even blink an eye or move a muscle, but kept staring up at the sky out of the window.

The time was around nine thirty, but the night above them was already as dark as midnight. The heavens were dotted with stars and constellations, some bright and twinkling, others less noticeable but still around. It looked as though someone had spilt a pot of silver glitter up there and Selphie appeared to be fascinated by it, absorbed into the galaxy above.

_Or maybe that's just a façade . . ._

Standing next to her closely, Zell didn't quite know what to say to her. He had seen Irvine's little display of affection upon Selphie in the club and it seemed genuine, but when he had found her in tears, he knew immediately that the sharpshooter had done something wrong.

"How did you know where I was?" Selphies voice sounded him out of his thoughts.

"Anna found me and told me you were upset . . ."

Figuring out that Anna must be the girl on the library committee, she decided to say no more, but carried on with her star-gazing. After around five minutes of silence, Selphie began to feel uncomfortable with Zells concerned eyes on her, so she spoke up.

"He . . . he said he _loved_ me."

The blonde beside her turned his head and studied his friend's side profile. Her mouth was turned down slightly, her cheeks flush and tear stained, her usually sparkling eyes sore and red rimmed from crying.

"Do _you_ think he loves me?"

This was a hard question for Zell, or anyone, to answer. Sure, he knew Irvine and could read him like an open book most of the time, but when it came to him and love, true heart rending love, Zell was stumped. However, he did know that Irvine had never said that to any girl in his entire life. One time, they had gone on a boy's only poker night, and they got onto the relationship subject. Zell distinctly remembered Irvine saying he would never say 'those three words' if he didn't feel it. Although it was supposed to be kept a secret, Zell felt it was his duty to tell this to Selphie.

When he did, her eyes fell down from looking up at the stars and rested upon his frame.

"Then . . . why did he do it again? Why does he _always_ break my heart?"

"Sef, he was extremely drunk and-,"

"That's no excuse. He was probably just playing around. He probably did it for a bet or something."

"That's not true."

"How do you know it's not?"

"Because Irvine wouldn't do somethin' like that."

"Well, he's done just about everything _else _in the book."

Selphie turned away from the window and sat herself down in front of the glowing light of the television, making her shadow dance erratically on the walls behind. Zell sat down on top of his bed, resting his hands upon the smooth fabric of the duvet beneath him. He knew the brunette wasn't really watching the nature show that was currently playing. Far too much had just happened for her to calm down. What he didn't realise was that Selphie, was in fact, crying silently to herself. It wasn't until another five minutes of uneasy silence that he settled down on the floor next to her and noticed how upset she had become.

"_Sef _. . ." Zell wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. Once again, she watered his shirt with her tears.

"Don't cry over him . . ."

"_C-can't help it_. Everything was . . . getting better . . and now . . ."

Her unfinished sentence was cut off by another onslaught of fresh tears. Zell felt her grip on his torso tighten; almost to the point where she was digging her little nails into him like a small kitten.

"He always goes and _bums_ things up . . . and I always end up crying over it. It's a vicious circle of patching things up, breaking it down and me trying to kill myself."

Zell closed his eyes and stroked Selphies silken chesnut hair, in an attempt to get her to relax. He hadn't realised that she intended to kill herself earlier and the thought brought him back down to the harsh reality of the world with a thud.

"Selphie, _please_ promise me you'll never take that razor to yourself with the intention of ending your life."

The girl in his arms stayed silent.

"_Hey,_ I said _promise_ me!"

Selphie looked up at him with wide emerald orbs.

"What's the point? It'd be an _empty_ promise. No-one would care if I-,"

"_I_ would care. _Quistis _would care, _Rinoa_ would care, Squall _AND_ Irvine would care. All the other people's lives you've touched would care. Selphie, I know you're in a state of mind where nothin' seems to matter anymore, but that'll go in time. You'll get through this, and I'll be right by your side _every _step of the way. Now, _please,_ Promise me."

With her eyes shut, images of that razor pressed to her wrist, crimson liquid spilling out and trickling down her hand flashed before her minds eye. Selphie nodded weakly and whispered, "_I promise_," before placing her head back down on his tear soaked shoulder.

Zell sighed, sending strands of her hair flying up.

"You're my best friend, Selphie."

"Why couldn't I have fallen for _you_ instead of _him?_ You're so much nicer to me. And I bet you wouldn't do _half _the things he's done."

The blonde let out a small laugh, "I'm not as much of an angel as you think I am."

"Yes you are. You're my guardian angel. You always seem to be around me, watching me."

"Shouldn't I be classed more along the lines of a pervert then?"

This earned him a giggle from the girl in his arms, before she halted.

He could tell she was thinking about Irvine again, by the starry look on her face.

A ruckus outside snapped her out of routing through the unanswerable questions in her mind. The kafuffle appeared to be coming from the far end of the hallway, if their trained ears were correct.

Selphie lifted her head up from Zell and looked up at him with a furrow in her brow, crinkling her delicate features in an adorable fashion.

"What's all that noise?"

Getting up, she started towards the door, but Zell got there first, pulling it open by its handle, ready to have a go at who was making the unnecessary din.

Poking his head just past the door frame, his eyes settled on two figures at the start of the dormitory passage, arguing and coming closer by the second. He recognised them almost immediately as Quistis and Irvine. She seemed to be yanking him by his sleeve and screaming something at him, whilst he simply kept on walking in Zells direction. When Irvine looked up and saw Zell looking out, he pried Quistis off his arm and started off in a slow jog towards the blonde.

Zell pulled his head back in and shut the door a bit too violently, turning to face a questioning Selphie behind him.

"_Well?_ What's going on out there?"

Her male friend brought his hand up to the back of his neck, scratching uneasily, baby blue eyes looking down at the floor, as if searching for something to say.

"Zell?"

"Uh, its Irvine . . . Quistis was the one doin' the screaming, mostly. He's comin' this way."

As soon as the words left his mouth, there came three sharp knocks on the door in front of them, making Selphie jump out of her skin.

"_**Zell!**_ I know she's in there with you! _Please,_ jus' let me talk to her!"

This was a hard situation for the fighter to be in. He was currently stuck slam bang in the middle, literally, of two feuding friends. Selphie was on one side of him, begging him not to open the door, and there was Irvine, on the opposite side of the wall, begging him to let him in. Zell sighed, looking once more to the worried face of the small brunette on his left.

"You really _don't_ wanna talk to him, Sef?"

Selphie shook her head vigorously from side to side, sending her butterscotch brown curls flying with the motions.

The blonde leaned against the door, speaking through it, "She doesn't wanna talk to you man, sorry."

Zell heard a thud and felt a vibration up his right side. Then again, then again.

By his calculations, Irvine was kicking the door vehemently.

"**Zell!** **Fuckin' let me talk to her**!"

Just before he was about to shout back a reply, he heard Quistis' voice from next to Irvine. She was obviously telling him to calm down. Looking through the peephole built into his door, Zell saw that she was also trying to pull him away again, a concerned look in her azure eyes. Once again, Irvine shook her off and sent her a cold, withering glare, before walking away, in the direction of his dorm room.

Upon hearing no noise for around 5 seconds, Selphie brought her hands down from their cupped position about her mouth and asked, _"Is he gone?"_

". . . Yeah."

Zell turned to his small friend and, noticing the worry in her jade eyes, pulled her into another firm hug. Selphie responded by putting her own arms around him loosely, far too tired and confused by Irvine's actions to return the tightness of the embrace. She pulled away, looking from Zell to the door, whilst fiddling anxiously with the index finger on her right hand.

"Does he make you nervous, Sef?"

". . . . . No, it's just-,"

Once again, three sharp knocks sounded upon the door, making Selphie jump. Deciding to be brave, she took a few unsure steps towards the peephole and glanced through it, holding in a breath. She let it out when her suspicions were confirmed; Irvine was back and currently a few inches away from her, with the aid of the wooden door in between them, much to her relief. Suddenly, his distorted image backed away from the peephole, seemingly lowering down to sit cross-legged on the floor.

_What's he doing?_

Still looking at him intriguingly through the hole in the door, Selphie saw that he pulled his tan and black acoustic guitar out from somewhere next to his side, she couldn't see where due to the small amount of vision that the spy-hole provided. The last time she had seen that guitar was a few weeks back, when, yet again they had attempted to patch things up and failed miserably. Irvine cherished the wooden instrument in his hands dearly. Matron had said she found it with him when she took him into the orphanage at a very young age, and though it was far too big for him back then, now, it was just the right size.

Selphie heard him twang a few strings, tuning it up, before Zell tapped her on the shoulder gently and asked what was going on, curious as to why she seemed so transfixed on not leaving the tiny vantage point in the door. For a second, Selphie turned back to her blonde friend in the room, studying his face which was etched with impatience for an answer to his question. She merely shrugged her small shoulders, before turning back to the much cherished peephole, continuing to watch the cowboy outside.

After fiddling around with the tuning keys on the head of the guitar a bit more, Irvine appeared to look up at the door in front of him, before he swiftly started strumming the instruments strings, moving the long fingers of his left hand upon the frets quickly and expertly, sounding out the beginning of a song, during which he opened his mouth and began to sing.

_"If you could step into my head,  
tell me would you still know me  
If you woke up in my bed,  
tell me then would you hold me  
Or would you simply let it lie,  
leavin' me to wonder why  
I can't get you out of this head  
I call mine  
And I will say . . ."_

Inside the dorm room, Zell looked towards his small friend, who was still transfixed to the hole in the door, looking for any kind of sign as to what she thought of this recent serenading.

_You're Suave, Irv. . . No wonder he brings in the girls._

Zell had to hand it to him. Irvine sounded fantastic when he sung, which wasn't very often, and he sounded even better when he played the guitar, which again, only a select few got to hear. He wasn't one for showing off, believe it or not.

_"Oh no I can't let you go, my little girl.  
Because you're holdin' up my world  
So I need you.  
Your imitation of my walk and the perfect way you talk  
It's just a couple of the million things that I love about you . . ._

_So I need you  
So I need you  
So I need you  
So I need you . . ."_

Through the peephole, Selphie could see that Quistis had come back and was currently standing off to the side of his, looking anxiously up and down the hallway, probably realising that it was past curfew and that she could get a serious warning if she let Irvine carry on the way he was. Just as Selphie saw the instructor try and reach for Irvine's hand, an odd feeling rushed over her and the only way to solve it was to pull open the door, as a result, stopping Quistis from halting the singing man.

Irvine continued singing, but looked up at Selphie, who was leaning against the door frame gazing down at him. He could've sworn a small smile graced her delicate features, if only for a split second.

"_And if I jumped of the F.H Bridge,  
Tell me would you still follow me  
and if I made you mad today,  
tell me would you love me tomorrow?  
Please. Or would you say that you don't care,  
and then leave me standing here  
Like the fool who is drownin' in despair and screamin' . . ."_

By the time Irvine was half-way through his song, a couple of students had opened their doors, looks of confusion upon their faces, wondering what was going on and who dared break curfew when the disciplinary committee would soon be patrolling this very hallway.

_"Oh no I can't let you go, my little girl.  
Because you're holdin' up my world,  
so I need you.  
Your imitation of my walk and the perfect way you talk  
It's just a couple of the million things that I love about you . . ._

_So I need you  
So I need you  
So I need you  
So I need you . . ."_

Selphies mind was screaming at her, telling her not to get sucked into the romantic gesture, that it was just a cheap trick, but without further procrastination, she flicked the little voice away and concentrated on the words that Irvine was singing so beautifully to her and her only. She no longer saw Quistis in the background, sensed Zells presence behind her or even noticed the crowd of students that had gathered and were occasionally pointing and giggling.

_"I'm on my own  
I'm on my own  
I'm on my own . . ._

_Oh no I can't let you go, my little girl  
Because you're holdin' up my world,  
so I need you.  
Your imitation of my walk and the perfect way you talk  
It's just a couple of the million things that I love about you . . ."_

Selphie continued staring at the vision in front of her. She studied Irvine carefully. The way his long, auburn hair fell into his face when he sung, the way his eyes lit up upon certain lines of the song, and the way he tapped his foot against the ground beneath his crossed legs. She noticed everything and realised she could never get tired of looking at him.

_Does . . .doeshe really love me . . .? _

_"So I need you  
So I need you  
So I need you  
So I need you . . ."_

_And does he really need me?_

As if by coincidence, as soon as Irvine was singing the last few lines, Seifer, along with the rest of the disciplinary committee (all two of them) rounded the corner nearest to Quistis and walked up to the sharpshooter, who was still sitting on the floor.

Most of the students that were outside their rooms quickly turned on their heels and dashed back inside, as the bullies heavy footsteps fell upon thetiled floor and stopped, not far off from resembling a scene from an old western movie.

"_Well_, what have we got here _eh_?"

Seifer, Fujin and Raijin halted in front of Zells dorm room, where all the "commotion" was at. The large blonde's eyes rested rather lecherously on the form of the instructor in front of him, as she spoke up.

"I can handle this, Almasy. Continue on your patrols."

"I don't _think_ so, _dear Instructor Trepe_."

Quistis folded her arms deftly over her chest and rolled her eyes, not in the mood for Seifers sarcastic nature. Alone, he would be rather gentlemanly towards her, but around anyone, he'd turn up the notch on the arrogance quota.

"Kinneas, you have breached rule 4.5 and 6.1 in the handbook . . . Care to quote those for me, _cowboy_?"

Irvine scowled up at the brute, after which he decided to get up, as the glare didn't have quite the same effect when they weren't on the same eye level.

Pushing himself up off the cold, unforgiving floor, Irvine made eye contact with Selphie, who had shyed away from the door frame a bit, but was still there watching intently with deep green eyes.

"_Kinneas_, my patience is wearin' thin!"

"_Tch,_ keep your wig on. Rule 4.5 . . . _You are not to make any unnecessary noise which may distract and/or irritate fellow students_. Rule 6.1 . . . urh . . ."

"**Come on**!"

"**Okay!** Rule 6.1, _All students must be inside their residence by 9.00pm. Upon the breaking of this curfew, a suitable punishment will be arranged_ . . . Oh great."

Seifers broad features folded up into a familiar smirk, before he looked towards Selphie hovering timidly in the doorway.

"You've also broken a rule, Tilmitt . . ."

The dark haired girl looked at Seifer with a hint of confusion in her eyes.

"You too, _chicken-wuss_."

Zell, who was standing behind Selphie, grit his teeth together and screwed up his face in anger, but kept his mouth shut in a tight, thin line. At this point, Quistis came out of her silent state.

"Seifer, I'll not allow you to punish Zell and Selphie. She was in his dorm room, breaking a rule, I agree, but Zell was simply comforting her in a time of need."

"Yeah . . . _comforting_ . . . sure. I'm keepin' my eye on you, Dincht."

"Like you_ ever_ take it off me."

"Shut your mouth, **chicken**."

"You _bast_-,"

"_Zell_, _Seifer_, stop arguing! And Seifer, it appears you've breached a rule yourself by bullying your fellow Garden students, so if I were you, I'd move on now, or you'll be getting a strict talking to by Cid Kramer. _Understood_?"

The blonde simply stared at Quistis slack jawed, a look of defeat scattered across his face for a second, before it was replaced by the usual half sneer, half smile expression.

"Fine. Dincht, get to bed, Selphie, back in your own room, and Kinneas, you come with me."

Irvine looked towards Quistis, thinking maybe that she would stick up for him, as she had done with the two others, but to no such avail, as said instructor merely stood with her arms still folded and a solemn look across her soft features. Giving in, he slumped his shoulders a little and began to follow the disciplinary committee back down the hallway, but not before turning to face Selphie.

Taking in the vision of her tear stained cheeks and weary expression, once again guilt washed over his being, and he violently beat himself up inside for being such a heartbreaking bastard. She held his gaze, a small smile pulling at her lips, as if it was hard for her to achieve such an action.

"We'll talk later, Sefie. I'll make it up to you . . . _I promise_."

But she knew that promises were easily broken with an all too devasting affect.

**A/n(again): The song i used in this chapter is by 3 Doors Down and called, 'so i need you' (surprise, surprise) Go listen to it. Oh and where i put the , it originally says 'brooklyn bridge' but i changed it to make sense.**


	24. Sweet dreams, beautiful

**A/n: This chapter is quite long, so . . . sit down with a cup o' tea or something Happy reading . . .**

"_Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."_

Selphie shielded her eyes against the bright morning sun, which was currently shining its happy rays through the festival hall's windows and onto her hair.

Today was a busy day for all the members on the garden festival committee, for tomorrow night, all their hard work would pay off in a much awaited, over-the-top event.

A young girl around fourteen year's old, with bright red hair and blue eyes glistening with excitement ran up to Selphie and tugged on her sleeve.

"Hey! Where should I put these?"

However, Selphies mind was as far away from the preparations as you could imagine, her thoughts occupying other areas of her life that greatly needed attention. Such as her and Irvine . . .

Another soft yank on her uniform sleeve reminded her of the younger teen to her right, who had asked a question and waited patiently, despite eager to run off and skip around. She looked towards the red haired girl in front of her; her eyes sparkling with fun, impatience showing through to want to get on with the decorating, bouncing on the balls of her feet. This girl reminded Selphie of herself at that young age, and this thought saddened her.

"Well? Where should I hang them?"

"Huh? _Oh,_ the banners. Put them above the windows and entrances."

"Okay!"

Watching the redhead run off and do as she was told, Selphie relaxed again, even though she should've been helping as well. Looking around at the hall, she figured that everything that could've been done had been. There were no more preparations to do. Even the catering list had been taken care of. Despite being one of the older students in charge, Selphie decided to leave for her first lesson in ages since her . . . "accident". Upon remembering, she looked down to her wrist. Today, she hadn't put on any bracelets to cover the all too recent reminder of her problematic life. A pang of sickness tugged at her stomach as she traced the line of the scar, feeling the way it bumped up and stood out boldly against her stark white skin, which only enhanced the redness of the wound.

Selphie shook her head, in an attempt to physically shake out all the bad thoughts in her mind, the action sending her tan hair flying and bouncing in all directions. She stood at the hall entrance, and looked around the impressively huge room. She had to admit, it looked like something straight out of a fairytale, a magical land somewhere far away.

Selphie began to smile and let out a laugh of happiness, surprising herself. Her surroundings were beautiful and let her forget the troubles in her life, if only for a few moments. She turned on her heel and, with a bounce in her step, walked out.

-----------------------------------

Irvine sat slouched at his study panel, eyes glued to the automatic door at the front of the classroom, waiting for a certain brunette to walk through.

"_Hey man_," Irvine nudged Zell, who was sitting next to him, and whispered, "You did say she was comin' to this lesson, _didn't_ you?"

The blonde next to him adjusted his seated position, crossing one leg over the other casually, before looking towards his friend, taking his time to answer.

"Yeah, but that was before you messed up big time last night . . ."

Irvine looked at Zell blankly, his head cocked slightly to one side.

". . . _Before_ your serenadin'. Or do I need to remind you of your drunken lip lock with the schools biggest, easiest slut?"

The auburn haired teenager shot his friend a withering look.

"_NO_, you didn't have to remind me. Thank_ fuckin'_ God she isn't in this lesson."

"One of them is . . ."

"Huh?"

"Seifer . . ."

Irvine let out a short chuckle and glanced behind his shoulder at the tall blonde who was sitting at the back, giving anyone evil stares who dared to lay their eyes upon him.

"He's hardly one of them."

"Yeah he is. He's blonde, thick and a whore."

The sharpshooter looked at Zell, a smile on his lips.

"But . . . you just described _yourself_."

Zell didn't hesitate to thump his friend in the upper arm. Not quite full force, but he didn't hold back on his strength either. Irvine clutched the place where pain had quite recently exploded through, yet he still had an amused look upon his features.

"_Man!_ That hurt!"

"Well, you insulted me! I'm_ none_ of those comments."

"Um, Zell, you're blonde . . ."

"_Oh yeah_!"

"And, as you just gave a prime example of; _thick_."

Just as the fighter was about to send another punch flying into Irvine's arm, the automatic door at the front of the room slid open, creating a slight buzzing noise.

Selphie stepped into the classroom, glancing first in the direction of the front desk, to see if the instructor for that lesson had turned up yet. The seat was empty.

Letting out a small puff of breath, she walked slowly over to where she usually sat, which, surprise surprise, was where Irvine was now currently seated. Without letting panic overcome her, she stepped forward, not breaking eye contact with him once along the way.

"Urm . . . Irvine?"

"Hey Sef . . ."

"You're in my seat."

Irvine knew full well whose seat he was in. He had planned to sit there, because, if he did, he knew that Selphie would have to speak to him or go and sit somewhere else.

"This desk station holds three, Sef."

The brunette looked down at him, fully getting the hint, but not too sure if she wanted to act upon it. However the only other free seat was at the back, near Seifer, and she certainly didn't want to go anywhere near him. Defeated, she flopped herself down in the place next to Irvine, much to his delight.

For the moment, Selphie ignored him and leaned forward, speaking past him.

"Zell, do you know what we're supposed to be studying? Where's Instructor Aki?"

Zell leaned forward too, matching his friends pose.

"We're lookin' on the computers for info on rare G.Fs. Apart from no-ones really doin' the work 'coz Aki's gone off somewhere."

Selphie leaned back into her seat, her leg accidentally brushing against Irvine's under the table. She prayed silently that he wouldn't take that as a hint. It seemed her prayers were answered, as no crude comment came out of his mouth, but then again, he probably learnt his lesson in overstepping the mark last night.

_Last night . . . Was it really last night?_

In her mind, Selphie found herself back in that nightclub, inhaling the stale air which consisted of mingled smells; cigarette smoke, alcohol and sweaty bodies, none at all pleasant. Once again, she heard those three special words that Irvine had spoken; but before her, she saw him latched onto another. Her world was in slow motion as it had been that night, and horror crashed through her mind as she felt the need to seek the solace of that cold, hard blade.

Her head was spinning as she came back to the present. Unexpectedly, it all became too much; the noise of the classroom amplified ten times, all her senses were heightened and she suddenly became very aware of Irvine next to her, his fresh scent congesting her nostrils.

Selphie clutched a hand onto her forehead and lowered it slowly to the desk, feeling as if she was about to reel over. Trying to inhale deeply made no difference, she still felt as though she'd just gotten of a merry-go-round that was going at 80MPH.

"Selphie? _Selphie_, are you okay?"

Irvine's voice echoed in Selphies brain, but she wasn't fully aware he was posing a question to her.

She was confused as to what put her in this state, but she knew it had something to do with last nights remembering.

"_I . . . I need air_," she said quietly, but Irvine heard all the same, always one with keen sense of sound.

"Okay, we'll go outside."

Selphie felt Irvine wrap his strong arm around her waist gently, sparking off emotions inside her that began to mix in with all the others, creating one big mass of bewilderment. In her state, she heard Zell voice his concern.

"Shit, she looks like she's gonna faint. _Hurry up_, I'll tell Aki a lie if he comes back."

Although Selphie could stand and walk on her own two feet, even if somewhat decidedly wobbly, Irvine kept his arm clamped firmly about her small body. He led her out of the second floor classroom and up some more stairs to the fire exit (which wasn't supposed to be used unless in emergencies) which brought them out onto a small balcony near the top of the Garden.

It was very breezy, but there was fresh air aplenty, which, after-all was what Selphie ordered. She leaned her hands on the edge of the grey barrier-wall, not bothered that the wind was whipping her soft, brown hair into her face, and was doing much the same with her yellow uniform tie. Selphie looked into the distance, and concentrated on getting her head back to normal, along with getting some clean air into her starved lungs.

She wasn't aware that the man next to her still had his arm wrapped tightly around her until he asked if she was okay.

"I'm fine . . ."

Selphie turned to face Irvine, and was caught in a very loving, concerned gaze which she had never seen in him before. That look in his purple, blue hazed eyes was so intense that she couldn't find the power to turn away, nor did she want to.

"You didn't _look_ fine. Are you_ sure_ you're okay? You can tell me, y'know."

_Don't just stare, answer him, doofus!_

"Um . . . I guess I just had a kind of . . . panic attack."

Irvine looked down to the floor, breaking his gaze on her.

"Oh. Did I cause it?"

Selphie didn't answer him, but turned to look out at the surrounding landscape. She could see the small town of Balamb down below, along with the harbour, a forest and the fire cavern, but what really interested her was the ocean. She watched how the waves formed and swirled in the middle of the sea, then eventually came down to shore, leaving a burst of white foam in their wake.

"_Sefie _. . ." Irvine placed one of his hands on top of hers, which were still resting atop the safety barrier.

"We didn't get a chance to talk . . . about what happened last night."

Selphie smiled, recalling his song to her, but then realised what it was he meant and shyed away from his touch a little. Noticing her change in movement, Irvine entwined his long, tanned fingers with her small, pale ones.

"Please, we _have_ to talk . . . I _need _you near me, _with me_. Please Sef?"

_You know you want him too . . . Maybe just one more chance . . ._

". . . Okay. Let's go to Balamb Diner."

For a moment, the cowboy in front of her looked perplexed.

"But . . . shouldn't we be gettin' back to our lesson?"

Selphie looked down at their hands intertwined and gave a small hardly noticeable squeeze, before feeling a slight hint of mischief rise up in her stomach.

"Screw the lesson. This is more important."

Irvine smiled broadly, showing off rows of perfectly straight, white teeth, the corners of his eyes creasing up, in which showed a glimmer of hope.

_My old Sefie's comin' back home . . ._

------------------------------------------

Zell ambled down the long corridor, one of the many just off from the waterfall, towards the direction that lead to the cafeteria. The hallway was filled with a small amount of students; juniors and seniors alike, due to the fact that it was most peoples lunch break.

Pushing open the wooden, double swing doors, Zell looked around for any sight of Irvine and Selphie.

_Where the hell did they go?_

In the end, he settled to sit down next to Rinoa and Squall, but not before he'd pushed through the food queue, grabbed and paid for three hotdogs.

"Heya Zelly! Where's Selph?"

"S'up . . .Dunno where she is."

Zell cringed inwardly at his 'adorable' nickname and flung himself down into the standard metal chair next to the chirpy-voiced Rinoa. Squall didn't say hello, but the blonde put this down to him working something out on a piece of paper, pen going at rapid speed, looking like he was about to discover one of the worlds most amazing secrets. That was until his ebony haired girlfriend poked him none too softly in the upper arm and frowned at him.

"_Squall!_ Say hello to Zelly!"

Looking a little miffed to say the least, the leather clad male uttered a 'hello' almost immediately, giving in to Rinoa and not once snapping at her for disturbing his train of thoughts.

Zell felt slightly sorry for him and had a fleeting thought.

_If Rinoa's demanding now, what the hell is she like in bed?! They probably haven't even done anything, anyway. . . Actually, I don't wanna know._

Suddenly interested in what Squall was scribbling down furiously, he looked over at the piece of paper. It had on it scribbled drawings of some sort of weapon, similar to a gunblade, with a lot of annotation along the edges of the page.

"Whatcha doin' there, Squall?"

The furrow in Squalls brow lifted slightly, making him appear all together less menacing. Running his gloved hand through soft chocolate locks, he opened his mouth to speak.

"This? Oh, it's-,"

"He doesn't want to hear about that right now, do you Zelly?" Rinoa cut her boyfriend off, leaving him again with a somewhat frustrated stare.

_I asked him, you dumb bitch._

Given, Rinoa annoyed Zell at the best of times, but he could never say anything like that to her face. Though she appeared air-headed sometimes, she had a kind heart, took care of all of her friends and was very sensitive. She also harboured the brain cells to be very intelligent when she had to be.

"_Zelly_, are you excited about tomorrow?"

"Huh?"

As soon as that singular word left his lips, the petite girl next to him gave him a disbelieving glare, her pink heart shape mouth hanging open a little bit.

"The_ Ball_, silly! You know, the one Selphies been slaving over? It's _tomorrow _night! Do you have a date?"

"Nah. Don't really wanna go, but-,"

"**_You have too!!!_**"

"I was gonna say, _before_ you assaulted my eardrums . . . I **_will_** go, because I know how much work Sef's put into it. Plus, nothin' like watching a bunch of jerks tryin' to dance."

Squall let out a breath of air, similar to that of a small laugh, along with a smile.

"You have to have a date too," Rinoa beamed, lips turning up in a mischievous smile before adding, ". . . and _I_ know someone who's been _dying_ for you to ask her."

Zells ears perked up at this. "Huh? _Me?_"

"Duh, yes _you!_"

"Well, who?"

"Pigtails."

"_Who?_"  
Rinoa rolled her big brown eyes around before resting them upon Zells figure again.

"I don't know what her name is. But I know you like her."

"Oh . . . Anna."

"Who?"

This time, Zell rolled his eyes.

"Pigtails."

"_OH!!_ Well, go ask her, before she gives up hope on you, like every other girl."

"Huh? Theres been other girls?"

"_Zell!_ Just go ask her, she's on the third table to the left, trying not to drool over you."

"She's lookin' at me?"

"Zell! **_GO!_**"

"Okay, okay, I'm goin'."

--------------------------------

Selphie took hold of the crystal, sundae glass containing her order of strawberry ice cream (which looked very tantalizing) and walked away from the bar top. She headed over towards one of the red two-seater sectioned off tables of her regular Fifties style diner and slid into the padded seat with ease. Irvine followed her, carrying a cream soda in one hand and a plate of French fries in the other. He smiled at Selphie as he took a seat opposite her. She didn't return his smile, but neither did she take her eyes off him and simply sat, watching him like a hawk, her spoon wavering in front of her face.

"So, Sef, are you feelin' alright now?"

Selphie spooned a heap of the cold, pink ice cream into her mouth, and retorted sarcastically, "Well, I wouldn't be eating _this_ if I felt like throwing up."

Irvine laughed, but she still kept a sullen look upon her features, making him feel a fool.

After a few moments of the two eating in silence, the cowboy offered the petite girl one of his fries.

She looked at his plate, then back up to his face.

"Because fries and ice cream _really_ go together."

"Selphie, can you please stop with the sarcasm? I thought we came hear to talk."

"We did . . . but."

"But what?"

Selphie sighed and placed her spoon back into the sundae glass in front of her with a clatter. Suddenly, all the braveness she had felt around him earlier drained out of her, starting from her brain and leaving through her feet. She didn't look at him when she spoke, but looked down at her hands on the table in front of her, unable to bring her gaze up to his piercing indigo eyes.

"I . . . _don't know_."

"You don't know what?"

"_I _. . ." In fear of sounding like an idiot by repeating what she had just said, she merely shrugged her small shoulders. Unexpectedly, she saw and felt two large hands reach out and hold her smaller ones, lifting them up a little ways in their grip. Selphie followed the length of the arms that belonged to the hands, skimming her eyes up a broad clothed chest, until she rested them upon the sun-kissed face of Irvine.

"Selphie, I _know _we've tried so many times to sort this mess out and that it just ends up gettin' worse, which is probably why you're so reluctant to talk to me . . . _right?_"

Again, Selphie just used a shrugging motion to answer his question, whilst the sharpshooter carried on speaking, which was fine for her, because she couldn't seem to find her voice at the moment. Even if she could, she wouldn't trust herself to speak a whole sentence without faltering on the words.

"I know last night didn't turn out well at all and if I could turn back the clock, _I would_. But there's one thing I wouldn't take back, and that's what I said to you . . ."

The brunette girl swallowed a growing lump in her throat and remembered those three special words he had uttered to her, drunk or not at the time.

"I meant _every single word_. I _love_ you, Sefie. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my goddamn eyes on and everythin' about you captivates me."

Irvine seemed to be staring into her very soul through her eyes as he spoke, touching every nerve capable of human emotion. A part of her knew that this wasn't just _'Irvine Kinneas; ladies man'_ charming her socks off. This was for real. He was speaking from the very bottom of his heart, which was something she hadn't ever experienced, even in all the time that they were in their 'best-friends-flirting' stage quite a while back.

Selphie felt the corners of her mouth turning up in an unstoppable smile. A real, true-to-herself, authentic smile. Not one that had been painted on for the masses. She actually _felt _like smiling.

"Haven't seen that in a while. Is it gonna stay there?"

Feeling conscious that Irvine had noticed that she hadn't shown happiness in a long time, she toned her expression down a bit.

"Your fries are getting cold."

"Your Ice creams gettin' warm . . ."

His comeback made the smile re-appear on her face, turning up the corners of her forest green eyes, and making her cheeks flush.

_What if he's just messing you around? I bet he thinks you're a right sucker._

As much as Selphie wanted to ignore the small nagging tone at the back of her mind, she couldn't just flick it away, as it voiced her most hidden doubts about the man sitting in front of her, holding her hands tenderly.

_Look in his eyes; he's not going to do that again. He's genuine . . . isn't he?_

Irvine must've felt the change in her posture, along with seeing it in her eyes when she looked up at him, for he asked her what was wrong.

"Just . . . _don't_ leave. _Don't_ break my heart again. It's still broken . . . but . . . you can fix it . . . _Will you_?"

"I know I've been the biggest wanker in the world to you, but believe me, I'm not goin' anywhere, anytime soon. Even if you _want_ me to sod off, I'll cling to you like Rinoa to Squall."

After a few moments more of sitting at the table, finishing off their food, Irvine spoke up again, just as he was paying the bill.

"Sefie, will you come to the ball with me tomorrow night?"

A bitter thought raced across her mind before she gave her answer to the anxious man.

_Didn't you promise you'd take Celia? Does she still think you're going with her?_

-----------------------------

That night, Selphie found herself unable to sleep. She wasn't sure if it was because of the Ball that would be taking place the day after, or if it was because of the time she had spent with Irvine earlier on. Sitting up to fluff her soft, yellow pillow, she began to wonder about him . . . and the three girls he also recently had acquaintances with. Selphie knew that Celia, Amber and Nichi still despised her and knew that they would go ballistic when they found out that she and Irvine were back on talking terms again.

Finally, the haziness of her mind and the cool night merged into one, leaving her finally able to get some rest . . .

_Walking up to his dorm room with a long lost bounce in her step for the first time in a while, she brought up her delicate hand and knocked on the door, awaiting an answer from within. _

"_Go away!"_

"_Irvy, it's me."_

"_Wait a sec."_

_Selphie combed her fingers through her silken hair and looked down at her sunshine coloured dress, giving herself the once over, making sure she looked immaculate. When she heard a loud thump come from inside Irvine's room, she looked towards the door, expecting it to open. It didn't._

"_Irvine? Are you okay?"_

_There was a slight delay before the man inside gave his muffled answer._

"_Uh . . . yeah! Never better! Hang on!"_

_A few seconds after she heard his voice, a latch clicked on the wooden door in front of her and it opened up slowly, just enough for a head to poke in or out. Selphie noticed that Irvine was topless; his bronzed, toned chest on show, his hair was loose and untidy, spilling down his shoulders._

_Blushing, she averted her eyes and said, "Oh, sorry. Did I wake you up?"_

_She heard the voice before she saw who it was. But, of course, Selphie didn't need a reminder as to whom that shrill, bitchy tone belonged to._

"_No, you didn't wake us, but why don't you just run along like a good little girl now"_

_Celia came into view with a white bed sheet wrapped around her seemingly naked figure, and linked her arm through Irvine's, which was resting on the door frame._

_Selphie felt her heart burst into a million pieces in her chest, constricting her breathing. Her lungs felt sore as she gasped for air that she couldn't quite get. In slow motion, she collapsed down onto the floor, sub-consciously looking towards her scarred wrist. However, something was wrong. It was re-opening with a sickening wet sound of flesh being torn apart, as if her very eyes served as the razor blade which had become her friend. Crimson blood poured from the wound, pumping out almost unnaturally and in great amounts, spilling out onto her yellow dress, staining it with hatred. Selphie looked up at Irvine, pleading for help. The last thing she witnessed was his stone cold expression before it vanished behind a closed door._

Shooting up in bed, in a cold sweat, strands of chesnut hair sticking to her forehead, Selphie awoke with a very unpleasant start indeed. She was breathing in short gasps, much as she had done in her dream.

_That's all it was . . . a dream. Dreams can't hurt you._

As if to prove it to herself, she brought her hand up from under the cover and held it in front of her face, using the pale moonlight leaking in through a slit in the curtains to view her wrist by.

It wasn't open. It wasn't raw and it certainly _wasn't_ pumping out blood.

_See?_

Selphie lowered it back to the bed and took a deep, much needed intake of air, feeling better as she felt it enter her lungs. Looking towards the clock above her head, twisting into a rather difficult position, she saw that it had just gone 3:00 am. Kicking the bed covers off violently, Selphie decided that if she was to fall asleep successfully, she would have to have company; in the form of another sleeping friend beside her.

Placing her bare feet on the floor gingerly, Selphie walked over to the door, grabbing her access card before yanking it open. Garish yellow light flooded into her room and onto her face, making her squint up her jade green eyes, lines creasing her face in a disapproving expression.

With a certain blonde fighter's room in mind, Selphie tip-toed gently on the freezing, tiled floor beneath her, her feet doing all the work to get to the destination ahead.

But she found herself outside a completely different door in no time at all. A door with the initials I.K engraved onto it. Resisting the urge to flee, she bit down on the inside of her mouth and knocked.

From inside she heard a bump and a clutter, followed by some cursing. Selphies stomach lurched and her heart began pounding a crescendo inside her chest at the familiarity of the situation compared to her nightmare.

_Just walk away now, before you get disappointed._

About the same time she was about to take her minds advice, the door in front of her opened slowly, but she didn't look and had already turned to walk away.

"Sefie? Whatcha doin'?"

Selphie half expected to hear a shrill female voice start up, but when that never came, she turned to face the man at the door. He wore only his boxer shorts, his top half uncovered and his auburn hair loose and flowing over his shoulders, like in the dream she had woken up from so afraid only moments before. Standing in her over-sized, white nightshirt, her hair messy and her mouth slightly agape, Selphie suddenly felt foolish for becoming so gullible over something her mind had conjured up whilst she was sleeping.

Consciously aware that Irvine was subtly roaming his eyes over her, she spoke up.

"_I_ . . . I had a nightmare. _Um_ . . ."

The half dressed cowboy in front of her gave a small chuckle and ran one of his large hands through his toffee coloured hair, before gently reaching out to take hold of Selphie and pull her into his room, shutting the door behind her. Though she had seen his dorm room before, she examined her surroundings carefully in the dim light given off by a bedside lamp. A single bed was over in the corner, pushed up against the wall, and covers thrown every which way, much like her own. A chest of wooden drawers stood nearby, along with an open rack wardrobe containing some of Irvine's clothes (the rest were scattered about the floor, making it look like a bomb had just hit). Then there was the usual walk-in kitchenette and bathroom that every dorm came with. Selphies eyes settled upon a cork pin board over to the right of the bed. Stuck up upon it, slap-bang in the middle, was an enlarged photograph of him and her. Selphie remembered the exact time that it had been taken.

All of the gang had been down at the local park on a stifling hot summer's day and lazing around on the grass. Rinoa had been going around with her new digital camera, taking snapshots of anything and everything, when Irvine suggested she take pictures of him and Selphie. Without warning, he had pulled her onto his lap and winded his arms around her slight waist, tickling her and making her giggle, almost dropping her ice cream cone down herself.

"Do you wanna coffee or somethin'?" Irvine's voice brought Selphie back to the present.

". . . Uh, No, I just want to sleep with you."

Irvine hoisted an eyebrow and gave her a sultry look. Upon realising what she said, Selphie blushed and quickly corrected herself.

"I_ mean_ . . . _next_ to you . . . like . . . not like _that!_"

"Yeah I know, beautiful. Come on then, you're gonna get cold if you keep standin' over there lookin' sexy."

The small brunette, although still embarrassed, felt another smile creeping its way onto her lips. She watched Irvine clamber back into his bed, rather ungracefully for someone who was so good with a gun. He turned back to look at her, cocking his head to the side, his hair tumbling with the movement. Selphie, who was still smiling, followed his lead and climbed in next to him. His mattress was much softer that hers, or even Zells, and also seemed a little wider than the standard Garden issue singles. Snuggling down into the covers and laying her head upon the pillow, she felt Irvine's arms snake around her waist, pulling her tight against his firm body. Her face was only inches from his and she began to feel anxious and self conscious about their bodies being so close, fully aware that he only had on a small pair of boxer shorts and she only her nightshirt and smalls.

_Oh shut-up. He's not going to do anything. Calm down, stupid._

All thoughts aside, she tucked her head into the space under his chin and mimicked his movements by placing her arms loosely around his upper body. Only when she let herself relax did she realise how good it felt to be in this position with him. Irvine's body warmth was radiating into her bones as she cherished the feel of him hugging her tightly. Selphie moved around under the bedcovers, placing her cold feet upon the sharpshooters, like she used to do to Zell. However, she never hugged this close with the blonde; neither did she feel so giddy whilst in the same bed as him.

"Whatcha doin' down there, fidget bum?"

Selphie brought her head out from its snug place and looked up at Irvine from her laying position. He smiled down at her and moved one of his warm hands from her back up to stroke some hair out of her eyes. As he did this, she shut them and giggled quietly, moving around under the sheets once again.

"You're _adorable_, Sef."

Irvine lowered his head and caught her smiling lips in a soft kiss. Only when the small girl in his arms responded did he see it fit to carry on. Selphie felt his smooth tongue enter her mouth and dance with hers in a slow, sensuous movement. Somehow, this kiss was different than usual. To her, it felt much more genuine and full of love . . . like the kind you might come across in a romantic film.

When they finally pulled apart, Irvine gave Selphie another small peck on her kiss-bruised lips, before placing one on her nose and the top of her head.

"_Sweet dreams, beautiful_."

And sweet dreams she did have, for not another nightmare graced her mind whilst she was held in strong, protective arms through-out the entirety of the night.


	25. Angel

**A/n: Sorry i took a bit longer to update. This chapter was originally going to have the Ball in it, but i promise that'll be in the next chapter. Please review! Thank you . . .**

'_If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.'_

Rinoa stood outside the Garden Entrance, a little ways into the reception so as not to get cold. It was unusually chilly outside, so she had chosen to put on a chunky knit cream jumper with an oversized turtle-neck and plain black bootleg jeans. Trying to avoid the gaze of the grumpy old man at the reception desk, she looked down at her hands and pretended to examine her nails. Casually glancing behind her, Rinoa was relieved to see Selphie walking towards her, Irvine strolling along next to her, his long legs trying to slow down to match his friends pace.

Rinoa had told Selphie that she would take her shopping out in Balamb town for a brand new elegant dress to wear later on for the evening ball. The raven-haired girl had a bit of a reputation among friends for being over zealous when it came to purchasing clothes. Not that she could be blamed; its what most teens would do if their dad was loaded down with large amounts of Gil.

"It's about time Selphie!"

"_I'm sorry_ . . . I overslept. I was just so tired."

Rinoa looked up at Irvine, who seemed to be hovering around looking rather awkward.

"Hey. Did you want something?"

Selphie would have to have a word with Rinoa later for being so rude.

The sharpshooter seemed to ignore the snappy tone in the small girls' voice and shot her a smile, along with other general niceties such as asking how she was.

"I'm just fine, but Selph and I have to go now, so bye."

Again, he ignored her and turned to leave, but just before he did so, he bent down and gave Selphie a quick, soft kiss on the lips, followed by a playful ruffle of her hair.

Rinoa stood with her head cocked and a bemused look upon her doll-like features.

"_Okay_. Did I miss something?"

Selphie blushed as she watched her newly reacquainted 'more-than-friends' companion, jog back up the steps with his hands in his pockets and a swagger to his step.

"I'll tell you all about it over shopping . . ."

Her small female friend clasped her hands together and bounced up and down with a grin on her face, before linking her arm through Selphies and dragging her off for yet another famous shopping spree, Heartilly style.

* * *

"Sef! I've _found_ it! This is_ THE_ dress for you! It _screeeaams_ you!" 

Selphie glanced around the small clothes boutique, renowned for its brilliantly tailored, brilliantly fitting dresses. The snobbish looking woman behind the wooden cash desk sighed and shook her head at Rinoa's uncalled for outburst. One other no doubt loaded teen in the shop also gave the enthusiastic girl a strange look, the kind one might give if someone sprouted two heads and turned green.

"Rin, keep it _down_ will you? We're getting looked at funny."

"Oh, so what. Go on, try this one on, it's perfect for you!"

Caught off guard, Selphie stumbled slightly due to the vigorous way that her friend had thrust the dress into her.

"You said that about that purple one . . . _and_ the one before that, _and_ the one before _that_."

Rinoa gave an exaggerated sigh and stood with her hands resting on her hips, glaring at Selphie.

"_Okay,_ I'll try it."

Walking over to the changing cubicle, she pulled the cloth curtain shut and looked at the dress that her fashion addict friend had picked out. Selphie hadn't much liked the other ones, but this one really appealed to her. It was pure white in colour and the same length as her yellow dress. This was made of satin, with a low plunging, square neckline. It had long, bat wing style sleeves, made out of a slightly see-through chiffon material of the same colour. The top half was bodice-like, with corseting up the middle. Black ribbon threads criss-crossed the chest and could be pulled tighter to achieve a full cleavage look. Selphie had never much bothered with flaunting herself in that way; had never really felt the need. She wanted boys to notice her for her personality, not her body. Shucking off the yellow jumper and black mini skirt she had put on in the morning, she took the soft dress off its hanger and slipped it on over her head. It was a perfect fit and it clung to her curves just the way it should.

Selphie smoothed it down over her body and looked up slowly into the mirror in front of her. The person staring back appeared to be a stranger, but it wasn't. Tucking a piece of stray hair behind her ear, the brunette looked at herself for a few long minutes. She could hardly believe it was her looking so amazing. Secretly, she had always thought of herself as plain and dowdy looking, without any particular features that made her stand out. But with this dress on, well, it changed everything.

"_Selph!_ Are you done? Come out, I wanna see!"

Not waiting for an answer, Rinoa, as impatient as she was, yanked open the curtain and pulled her friend out into the middle of the shop.

For a few seconds, the raven haired girl gave no response, but stood there in awe and silence. When Selphie shifted her stance and gave a twirl, it must've started up Rinoa's brain again, because she began to jump up and down in excitement.

"You look so, so, _SO_ beautiful!"

"Thank- you."

"We're getting that one! It's perfect. You're gonna have _all_ the guys in Balamb chasing after you!"

Selphie smiled and looked down at herself, before looking back up slowly to the girl in front of her.

"Rinoa . . ."

"Yes?"

"Can you see my cuts through the sleeves? Be honest . . ."

In response, Rinoa studied her friends left arm through the delicate, semi transparent sleeve. You could only see red marks faintly if you looked up close, for a good few moments.

"No, you can't. It's okay."

Unexpectedly, she brought Selphie into a tight hug, knowing all the pain and troubles her much loved girl-friend had been through.

"Now, take it off, and I'll buy it for you, then we'll go shop for accessories!"

The dress was expensive, 4000 gil in fact, but Selphie knew that no matter how much objecting she did, Rinoa would insist on buying it for her, so she let it lie and did as her friend told.

After the dress had been paid for, and packaged in a pink box with a ribbon on top, Rinoa's cell phone began to let off a series of steady beeps in her pocket. Most students had pagers given out by their instructors but Rinoa had objected, not liking the chunkiness of it, and had opted for buying her own communication device; a sleek, silver, up-to-date mobile phone. She flipped up the top, answering it.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Rin, it's Zell,"_

"Heey Blondie! What are you calling me for?"

She heard shuffling and a muffled voice in the background, whom she presumed to be Irvine by detecting a hint of Southern Galbadian drawl.

"_Is Selphie still with you?"_

"Yeah, we've got the dress! It's _SO_ nice, you should see it on her! Now we're gonna go buy stuff to finish it off!"

On the other end of the line, Zell tried to sound enthusiastic for the excited girl, but it came out sounding more sarcastic.

"_. . . Great. Apart from . . . you can't."_

Rinoa pulled a puzzled face at Selphie, who was standing next to her, only gathering from the conversation that she was speaking to a certain blonde.

"What? Why?"

More whispers coming from Irvine were picked up by Rinoa's keen ear.

"_Okay man- Shhi- get off!"_

"Pardon?"

"_Oh, sorry, Irvine tried to grab the phone. Anyway, don't buy any jewellery for Sef,"_

"Why!"

"_Don't blow! Its just . . . Irvine's bought her a necklace that he wants her to wear tonight_."

Although Selphie couldn't hear any of Zells side of the discussion, she could tell he must've said something sweet at least, because the friend by her side gave a smile, her chocolate coloured eyes twinkling with delight.

"_And Rinoa_?"

"Yes?"

"_Don't breathe a word to her. It's a surprise for later_."

"Oh. Okay. See you around Zelly!"

Rinoa looked at her friend out of the corner of her eye before feigning tiredness.

"Phew! All this shopping has really taken it out of me. Let's go back."

Selphie cocked her head in thought. It wasn't like Rinoa to cut a shopping opportunity short.

"Weren't we going to buy accesso,"

"No, no. I'm sure I've got some jewellery we can wear," Rinoa interrupted before taking her friends small hand in hers and pulling her out of Balamb town. They hadn't taken a rental car, seeing no need as their destination was only a ten minute walk away. Whilst the two girls made their way back to the Garden, little conversation ensued, until Rinoa spoke of Irvine.

"_So_ . . . you and Irvine seemed pretty close when he walked you down. Did I miss something?"

Selphie tried to hide a smile by looking down at her feet, but it didn't quite work, because the attentive teen next to her caught it.

"_Heyyyy_. I haven't seen that for ages!"

"Seen what?"

"You smiling, silly!"

Rinoa took hold of Selphies hand once again as they walked, gripping whilst swinging their arms in a rhythm matching their pace. The raven haired girl often held her friends hands; be they male or female. It was a unique sign of trust, care and loyalty.

"So,_ tell_ me then."

Selphie took a deep breathe, as if what she was about to explain was a big feat. She focused her forest green eyes upon those chesnut ones, sparkling with anticipation and looking intensely at her face.

"Let's just say Irvine realised the error of his ways . . . at least, I _hope_ he did."

"Well, he better have done, else he'll have my temper to deal with!"

"I slept with him last night."

"_Already?_ How was it?"

"We didn't _do_ anything; well, we kissed a couple of times. I'd had a nightmare, so he just held me. It was nice."

"You kissed! _Cute!_ What was he like?"

Selphie restrained herself from letting out a sigh. Partly at the memory of Irvine's soft kisses and partly at the way Rinoa was a bit of a gossip, and far too interested in boys for her own good (despite having Squall as a boyfriend).

* * *

"Do you think she'll like it?" 

As Irvine twiddled a blue velvet, rectangular box in his large hands, an anguished look played upon his tanned features. He was sat atop Zells bed, long legs crossed underneath him, opening up the box, inspecting the necklace, and then shutting the box. He did the exact same thing every 5 seconds or so.

Zell was looking in the mirror, re-doing his hair after washing it, paying extreme attention to each individual spike which needed to be gelled again. He was in the early stages of getting ready for the ball, his black tuxedo suit hanging up beside him on the wardrobe screaming to be put on. Turning around to face his friend, he shrugged his shoulders at Irvine, who was looking at him expectantly, obviously for some re-assuring words.

"I'm the wrong guy to ask, Irvine. Anyway, I thought _YOU_ were the ladies man of the group. You're the one who's supposed be setting examples for _us_ to follow."

"Burden me even more why don't you!"

"_Sheesh_. Chill out man. She'll be so flattered by the gesture that it won't matter if she hates it or not. It's not as if it's a big ugly ol' thing. It's small and pretty."

"_Aww_, Zelly's got a soft side."

"Shut it! You wanted advice didn't you?"

"Yeah,"

"Well then, don't piss me off!"

"Damn. What're _you_ so wound up about?"

Zell said nothing, but turned his back to the inquisitive teen perched on his bed.

"Ahh, _I_ know. It's that library girl, isn't it?"

"Anna! She's called _ANNA_!"

"_Whoa_. Okay. Keep your little pink thong on."

The small blonde turned back around to face his friend again, his fists clenched by his sides and his mouth shut tight in a thin, angry line.

"Look, Irvine, I'm already nervous enough, so can you _not_ make jokes?"

"Sorry. Why are you nervous? You've already done her a trillion times."

"_NO I haven't_!"

"Well, you've already kissed her. I saw you. At that club. Didn't look nervous then."

"That was different. I was drunk."

"So you're afraid she might be a heifer without the ol' alcohol goggles on?"

"**NO**. It's just . . . oh there's no point in talkin' to you. I might as well be havin' a conversation with Seifer."

Irvine put the box that contained the necklace down beside him on the bed and lifted his hands up in a defensive way.

"Hey, don't compare me to him. I'm sorry. Tell me whats up."

Zell studied Irvine's chiselled features for any hint of mockery, but found none, so continued talking.

"I know I've already kissed her, but, well . . . we've never spent much time together, and I clam up around girls I fancy the pants off."

Irvine's serious face began to turn into a saucy grin.

"_Yeeeaah_ . . ."

"Hey!"

"Sorry. Why don't you just do that thing therapists tell you to do when you have to give a class speech?"

"Huh?"

"Y'know. Imagine her in her underwear."

"_NO _way! I'll get sprung, and then she'll notice and think I'm some sort of sex obsessed weirdo . . . like you."

"I'm not a weirdo. I just like the ladies."

"Don't you mean _'lady'_," Zell asked, his arms folded across his chest and an inquiring look on his face.

"Just a phrase."

"So what, don't go shittin' on Selphie again."

"Don't go on the defensive! I've told you, I _love _Selphie. And she knows that."

"Just makin' sure. Hey, did you tell that blonde cow Celia that you're goin' with Sef tonight?"

Irvine's expression visibly soured when the name of the biggest mistake of his life was mentioned. Clearly not wanting to linger on the subject, he gave Zell a hasty reply.

"Yeah, I told her. She tried to slap me, and then said she'd get Seifer on me, and _then_ said she was going with Seifer anyway."

"Pffft. The male equivalent . . . makes sense."

"_Hnn._ Anyway, we've got, like, just under an hour 'til the Ball. I'm going back to my room to get ready."

"Okay, see ya there, Irvine."

* * *

"Selphie? Can you zip me up at the back?" 

"Sure."

The brunette stopped fiddling with her hairstyle and walked over to where Rinoa was standing in front of the mirror, trying and failing to do up her dress.

Selphie took hold of the fiddly zipper and pulled it up until it was secure. While this was being done, Rinoa slicked on a layer of cherry flavoured lip gloss, and ran the mascara wand through her already-long eyelashes.

"_Thanks!_ So, how do I look?"

The raven haired beauty gave a twirl, the bottom of her short dress fanning out a little.

"Rin, you look absolutely gorgeous." And that she did. Her dress was bought a few months before in preparation, from the same Boutique that Selphie had gotten her outfit from. Rinoa's dress was much like the cream one she wore when she first met Squall, apart from the colour was that of a deep, midnight blue and had a few more details. The hem of the dress bore a small, black frill, running all around the bottom, giving it a somewhat Latino feel. Rinoa had pinned a flower corsage off to the top right-hand side of breast. It was rather large, and made of black silk but finished off the look perfectly. Upon her dainty feet were shoes of the deepest blue to match her dress. Her ebony hair was loose and resting atop her shoulders.

Selphie stood gazing at her friend, feeling a little outshined by her beauty, but the instant Rinoa grabbed her shoulders and faced her towards the mirror, it went away.

"Whats with the hangdog expression? You look _beautiful_. You're practically shining!"

"Thanks, Rin."

"Hey can I put some make-up on you? Just a little? _Please!_"

"Okay."

Rinoa beamed whilst picking up her mascara from her desktop.

"Now don't blink or it'll smudge."

Selphie obeyed, knowing what a temper her friend could sometimes get herself into.

Once Rinoa had finished with the eyes, she reached around behind her and picked up a pot that read 'ultra smooth lip moisturiser'. She slicked a little onto her friends lips before exclaiming that she'd finished. It tasted of bubblegum and Selphie had to fight not to lick it off. She had to admit, the small amount of make-up was the perfect touch, accentuating her delicate features.

"See? _Now_ you're ready!"

The ebony haired girl exclaimed, before suddenly noticing Selphies bare feet.

"Are you gonna put you're shoes on?"

"_NO_, I thought I'd go barefoot."

Rinoa, always one for being a little slow on the uptake, gave her a puzzled look.

Selphie laughed, "I'm joking! But I do need help putting on those heels you got me. They're _impossible_ to do up."

The shoes were of a black satin, matching the corseting on her dress. They had a thin tapering heel of about 4 inches, boosting Selphies height somewhat. A single black bar crossed her foot just above the toes, and another bar wrapped around her ankle. Here was where it got tricky though, and was the part Selphie need help with. Above the ankle straps were numerous lengths of black satin ribbon which need to be criss-crossed up her leg, finishing a few inches below the knee and secured in a cute, little bow. Once the massive feat of putting on the shoes was out of the way, there came a single knock at the door of Rinoa's dorm.

"That'll be Squall and Irvine. I told them to come here and get us."

"Why? Its not even a five minute walk to the ballroom," Selphie questioned.

"Sef, we need our men to escort us!"

"Oh, right. I forgot we were defenceless little princesses."

Rinoa rolled her eyes at the brunettes intended sarcasm and placed her hand on the doorknob.

"Ready?"

* * *

The two, formally dressed men waited for the door in front of them to open. 

Squall knocked sharply again, getting impatient. Irvine glanced sideways at his friend. He looked dashing, dressed top to toe in a black suit, along with a black shirt underneath, the top few buttons undone. He hadn't bothered with a tie. Irvine had chosen pretty much the same attire; apart from he wore a white tuxedo shirt underneath, with a little bowtie around the neck. On anyone else, this would've looked silly, but on Irvine it simply made him look all the more handsome. The usual cowboy hat had been left behind, so he'd decided to let his hair loose. Whilst studying his friends face, he noticed that the mans slender jaw was clenching, probably in annoyance at the door not opening.

"Ease up man. You know what _girls_ are like when they get ready."

" . . . Yeah . . . Rinoa's not like ordinary girls though . . ."

Irvine couldn't figure out whether Squall meant that as compliment to his girlfriend, or if he meant it as an insult, but before he could ponder anymore, the wooden door swung open with a creak of its hinges.

In a blur, Rinoa flung herself into her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a kiss on his lips, no doubt smearing him in her sticky lip gloss. Once Rinoa stepped away, Squall looked her up and down and they exchanged shy compliments. Irvine, deciding to leave the two lovebirds outside the door, stepped into Rinoa's room, wondering where his date had got to. And there she was, standing by the bed, looking like an angel in Irvine's eyes.

Selphie felt rather uneasy the instant the door had opened so she had backed away, shying off into the bedroom. Now she felt the uneasiness rising in her as Irvine stood staring, his violet eyes as wide as saucers whilst roaming over her body.

He drank in the sight of her as if he'd been deprived of any female contact for his whole life. Irvine couldn't believe that this was the same Selphie he'd grown up with; the very same little girl that he had played trivial war games with in the orphanage; the same girl that he'd come to love. He was aware that his staring was making her feel nervous, but he couldn't seem to find his voice. Her beauty compared to no-one on this earth, it seemed to call out to him, putting him in a trance. Irvine walked slowly over to Selphie and gathered her up in a big hug. Bending down slightly, his lips brushed her hair as he whispered, _"Other men have seen angels, but I have seen thee, and thou art enough."_

Selphie let out a small giggle and clutched on tighter to the man who had her in this warm embrace. She no longer felt uneasy when he stepped back and gave her another look, this time accompanied with a long sigh.

Irvine reached into his pocket and brought out the small velveteen box containing Selphies present. With a blush coming slowly to his cheeks, he handed it to her.

"Whats this?"

"Just a present."

Selphie looked down at the box in her hand, before opening it up. Inside, on a piece of red silk, lay a silver, heart shaped locket with a small, deep green emerald in the middle. Surrounding the emerald, were tiny engravings of winding ivy and flowers.

She looked up at the man standing in front of her and smiled, genuinely happy.

"This is _beautiful_."

Irvine smiled, "Open it up."

Selphie took hold of the small locket and opened it carefully. On one side was a small picture of her and Irvine. It was taken in the blossom orchard a while back. The tiny photo showed the cowboy giving Selphie a piggy-back. They were both grinning as wide as they could. On the other side of the lockets door was a shrunken version of the picture Irvine had on his wall, the one with Selphie on his lap.

The small, brunette girl adjusted her gaze once again to Irvine. He bent down and placed a kiss upon her little nose and lifted his long finger, twisting it around in a circular motion, signalling that Selphie should turn the locket around.

She turned it over in her hands, but not before giving him a perplexed look. Fixing her eyes on the delicate piece of jewellery, she saw that on the back, engraved into the silver were their initials. Underneath were three simple words that touched Selphies heart to the core: _I love you._

Feeling tears well up in her eyes, she desperately tried to stop before Irvine saw.

"_Heey_, what's all that for?"

_Too late. Good thing this mascara's waterproof._

Selphie moved forward and clung onto Irvine as if her life depended on it. He was a little taken aback by the reaction, but wrapped his long arms around her anyway, resting his hands on the small of her back. Selphie edged back slightly, not crying anymore, but beaming with happiness, a huge smile crossing her features. Irvine ran a hand through his auburn locks, suddenly confused with the female species entirely. One minute they were crying; next, smiling insanely.

"Will you put it on for me, Irvy?"

"Sure thing, cutie."

Selphie placed the necklace in his open hand, then turned around for him and lifted up her hair. Instead of putting the pretty piece of jewellery on for her, as she had asked, Irvine lowered his head and placed a singular feather light kiss just under her hairline. The touch of his soft lips sent a shiver running along her spine. She felt them again in a slightly different place, but they gave her exactly the same reaction. Irvine wrapped the necklace around her neck; doing up the fiddly clasp at the back with ease, then went back to kissing again. He knew that now was definitely not the time _or _the place to get horny, but he couldn't help it. Luckily, Selphie had more will-power than Irvine when it came to matters of the sexual kind.

Letting her hair drop, she spun around and planted a quick kiss on the sharpshooter's lips before taking hold of his large hand. As she pulled him out of the room, they almost bumped into Rinoa, who was dragging Squall behind her in a similar fashion to Selphie.

"_There_ you are!" The ebony haired girl exclaimed, "Come on, we've got a ball to go to!"


	26. The Night of The Dance

**A/n: Sorry i've taken so long to update, but this chapter is a little longer so hopefully, that'll make up for it. Few more chapters left to this story, by the way.**

'_Good friends are like stars . . . You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.'_

The heavy, oak doors, engraved with the Balamb Garden signature, had already opened up, letting crowds of students flow into the main hall. Many of the people made comments as they entered, mainly about how fantastic the decorations looked. Selphie smiled to herself upon overhearing two young girls talking about what a 'good job the festival committee had done'. After walking into the middle of the hall with Irvine closely behind her, the crowd had started to filter out, some going off to talk in groups, some hovering around the buffet and others already making moves on the dance floor. Standing still, Selphie looked around her taking in the sight of the ballroom, despite the fact that she had worked on making it look like it was for the past few weeks.

All the silver ribbons were still in place; some in their huge bows and others streaming about the room. The white feather decorations hanging from their black ribbon looked more vibrant than ever in the dim lighting chosen for the event. Silver glitter adorned the floor in places, occasionally catching the light and sending out little bursts of illumination. It looked rather likes a star-filled sky at night, only the wrong way about; on the ground instead of up in the heavens. Gold and black balloons had been tied to the satin banners, along with some rolling around on the floor, mingling with the glitter. At the front of the hall was a live band on a small temporary stage, with a female singer and various musicians around her. A tap on Selphies right shoulder made her stop examining the hall, and turn around suddenly, coming face to face with a grinning Zell.

"Hey! You look _great_. And you've done a great job in here as well!"

"Thanks. I ordered loads of hotdogs so they don't run out on you."

At this point, Irvine joined in the conversation.

"Hey man, where's the library gir- I mean, Anna."

Zell gave a mock frown, before answering, "She's over by the punch bowl. And, _man_, she looks hott with a double T!"

"Why are you over here then?"

Selphie gave Irvine a nudge in the ribs for causing the confused look which now graced Zells face.

"Zell, go over to her. If she looks gorgeous, then _tell_ her."

"_But Sefff_," the blonde whined, "I'll get _embarrassed_."

"Well, that doesn't matter. Most girls would find that cute. Don't worry."

Selphie grabbed her friend by the shoulders before he could complain and gave him a slight push in the direction where Anna stood in a long, deep purple dress, looking as lovely as Zell stated.

_No wonder he's nervous around her._

Once the hyperactive blonde had gone, Selphie turned to face Irvine, who promptly took hold of her small hand and asked if she wanted anything to eat or drink. She shook her head from side to side, sending tendrils of soft chesnut hair flying before coming to a rest in a frame around her face. Irvine smiled and pulled her close to him, swapping holding hands for slinging one solid arm around her shoulder. Selphie looked up at him, not saying a word, but returning the smile he had given. Reaching up, she touched one hand to the necklace on her chest, partly to make sure it hadn't fallen off and partly to remind herself that Irvine had given it to her out of a gesture of love.

"Sef, do you wanna go sit down for a bit, or mingle . . . or dance? Whatever you want."

_Why is he treating me so fragile?_

"Let's go speak to people. Where did Rinoa go?"

"I saw her draggin' Squall off into the courtyard balcony thing, probably to-,"

Selphie cut Irvine off with a small shriek of _'oh-my-God'_. Looking down to her, he noticed she had a wry smile gracing her delicate features, and her line of sight was cast across the room. Following it, Irvine saw what the little brunette was so enthralled by. It appeared to be Quistis, who was hanging onto Seifer Almasy's arm.

"_Whoa_, what's our subdued lil' instructor doin' with a big brute like him?"

"I bet I can give you one answer to that."

"Minx."

Selphie winked at Irvine, before skipping over to where Quistis stood, which was over by the second, silver lined table full of finger foods. She motioned for the cowboy to follow her with a swish of one arm, and then turned to the petite blonde in front of her.

"Quisty!"

"Hello Selphie, you look _fantastic_."

"Thanks. So do you, absolutely gorgeous!"

The attire that Quistis had on was none-too-formal and not at all the kind of dress one would expect an Instructor to wear at a 'Garden party'. She had on a tight dress, which reached down to her knees and was of the blackest, softest velvet. The top half of the dress had an extreme plunge neckline that hung in a cowl fashion all the way down to just above her belly button, leaving a panel of bare skin in the middle. Quistis' hair was done in a similar up do as usual, with but a few strands of gold framing her face. Black kitten heels rested upon her small feet, toenails adorned with red nail varnish, complimenting her dress. As Irvine sauntered across to the girls (and a very annoyed looking Seifer), he couldn't help but wonder how Quistis kept the dress shut in the middle. So, being as outspoken as he was, he asked.

At first, the Blonde Instructor gave Irvine an odd look and turned to Selphie, saying in a light hearted way, "I think you should stitch Irvine's mouth up, Selph."

The sharpshooter grinned and ran a hand through his tamed auburn locks.

"But really, what if a sudden gust of freak wind should come along . . . wouldn't that be a tad embarrassin'?"

Selphie elbowed Irvine in the side, not giving much of an impact.

"It's called _boob-tape_ you idiot! You stick it to the side of them, along with the fabric of the dress, keeping it securely in place."

"Ohh . . . what a _weird_ invention."

Whilst Irvine was still pondering over what Selphie had said, she leaned closer to Quistis, wanting to confirm that their lovable blonde girl had indeed arrived with Seifer Almasy.

"Yes, he's my . . . _Date_ . . . for the night."

"Your date! Are you nuts?"

Quistis looked slightly annoyed at Selphies response, and pursed out her full, pink lips.

"No, I'm not _'nuts'_. Some of us just know Seifer better than others."

"Yeah, but he's a lecherous bastard. He'll be leering down your dress all night, hoping to get a sneak preview."

"Look, I had to come with _someone!_ Plus, what makes Irvine any better?"

Selphie glanced sideways at the mentioned man, who was waving at random acquaintances, a soft smile upon his attractive face. Two girls walked past giggling like juniors, twirling their hair around their fingers and sending flirtatious looks in Irvine's direction. Selphie watched carefully for his reaction, and where a wink would usually come into play, he simply stood and ignored the silly girls.

"Irvine's different now . . . anyway; your date's looking pretty annoyed."

Quistis sent her gaze around the large, beautifully adorned ballroom until she spotted Seifer leaning against a wall, a glower on his face, but looking all the more handsome to her. When the large blonde spotted her looking at him, the scowl on his square set features turned into a teasing smirk and he beckoned her over by wiggling his index finger.

"I better go . . ." Quistis said, trying to sound reluctant, but in all honesty, she couldn't wait to go and join the man she'd spent most of her childhood with. Giving Selphie a peck on the cheek and waving Irvine goodbye, she walked over to meet with Seifer.

However, as Quistis was a few yards away from the gunbladist, a girl with long blonde hair, dressed in a pink gown went up to him and took his arm. Seifer did nothing but glanced down upon her as she spoke, in what looked like a hushed, bitchy manner.

Quistis recognized the girl as one of her lesser cared for students, one of the princesses who she had no time for. A cog clicked in her brain, as she also realized that this was the very same girl who had been bullying Selphie and corrupting her relationship with Irvine. She narrowed her cerulean eyes at the competition ahead but kept on walking, adding an extra wiggle to her hips, mainly to catch Seifers attention. It worked. He looked up from the Chihuahua-like blonde and scanned his jade eyes over Quistis' frame.

_Good boy Seifer, keeeep looking . . . That cow's not getting her claws into anything of mine. _

Acting as cool and unbothered as possible, she greeted Celia with a snide smile.

"Why, _hello_. Didn't anyone tell you it wasn't fancy dress, Celia?"

Hearing Quistis' voice; Celia let go of her prey and held back a dirty glare. Instead, she tried to think of a way to counter-act the cocky remark she had been given.

"I don't think Instructors should date their students, _Miss_ Trepe." Before Quistis opened her mouth to shoot the bitchy blonde down, she had gone, vanished into the crowd of happy students. She had to think twice about whether or not to go after her, hunt her down. Although hot-headedness was not usually her area, Celia had fired something up in her that wouldn't seem to cool. That was until Seifer took her hand.

* * *

"Out of all the girls here, you're the _best dressed, most gorgeous_ one I've_ ever_ seen," Irvine let Selphie's feather soft hair fall back into place, after pushing it aside to whisper in her ear. The brunette teenager sat with her auburn haired date on the sidelines of the hall, where simple wooden chairs had been set up for those who wished to be seated. This suited the two just fine for the time being, both happily content with leaning into each other and exchanging heartfelt words. Although only having been at the ball for the short time of an hour, things seemed to be running smoothly and no-one was running amuck. Everybody around looked dazzling and appeared to be having the times of their lives dancing to the catchy little number that the live band was currently giving out. Selphie gave herself a mental pat on the back for picking out such a good local band. After all, they catered for a wide range of musical tastes, but for the night, they mostly kept to Piano backed songs and acoustic rock. Occasionally, they would slip in slow ballad songs and classical pieces in which you could just appreciate the musician's talents without the need for vocals.

One song ended, but the music immediately started up again, this time with a very slow, romantic sounding tune. Not one to ever miss an opportunity, Irvine took hold of Selphies small hand and pulled her to her feet. Without saying a word, she cast him a solitary glance and let him pull her gently into the middle of the ballroom, weaving through the couples who had already gathered to dance. Irvine held her tightly to him, placing his arms around Selphies tiny waist, giving her a tender squeeze as she reached her arms up to fasten them at the back of his neck. Together, held in each others embrace, they swayed calmly to the beautiful melody that was echoing throughout the hall. Selphie lay her head down against the chest of the man who was holding her so closely. Being like this with him made her forget the way things had been; the nasty words that had been exchanged, and, above all, the pain that she had felt inside her heart. Now, in this ballroom, dancing in the arms of the person she loved under the dim lighting, their togetherness was all that mattered. It was then that Selphie realized she felt so strongly about Irvine, not only in her mind, but in her soul too.

_Do I love him?_

She didn't care to voice the answer, because she knew that, whatever it was she felt wasn't going away anytime soon. Snuggling her head against Irvine, she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. The scent of freshly-laundered clothes tipped with subtle cologne filled her senses. She felt Irvine bring his hand up from its place on her hip and vaguely wondered what he was doing until he ran it through her hair in a feather light touch. Selphie lifted her head to see his amethyst eyes looking down at her, with that familiar glint of mischief hidden behind them. Before she had time to drown in them, he lowered his head and caught her soft, pink lips in a lingering kiss that made her toes curl. After lifting his head back up, Selphie let out the faintest of sighs and went back to the way she was on his chest. Looking out into the sea of other dancing couples, he spotted one that stood out, because the girl of the pair was glaring at Selphie with malicious intent.

Celia clung on to tall, dark student who was a few years her senior. She wasn't paying any attention to him at all; though he appeared to be flattered to be dancing with her. Her eyes were fixated on Selphie for a few moments more. Even though she was on the other side of the ballroom, Irvine tightened his hold on the brunette girl in his arms, feeling protective over her. Selphie noticed and looked up at him. She followed his gaze and saw who he was looking at so intensely with no particular emotion visible upon his features. As soon as Celia noticed the both of them looking, she blew a kiss and winked, obviously directed at Irvine. Selphie turned away, a sensation of sickness coming in waves over her being.

_Don't be stupid. You know there's nothing going on anymore . . ._

Without really registering what she was doing, Selphie placed both of her hands on Irvine's chest and pushed herself away from him. At this, he finally tore his eyes away from across the ballroom and looked down at the girl struggling to get out of his grip.

"Hey, _hey_ . . . Woah. _Sefie_, whats wrong?"

She looked up at him with big, forest green eyes, and Irvine immediately felt a little stupid for asking her a question with such a blatant answer. He watched Selphie shake her head gently, before leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Good," he whispered in her ear, "Because I love you."

Selphie stopped trying to push the previous love-cheat away, instead opting for wrapping her small arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly. When she heard him cough slightly, she let go and glanced up at him with wide, concerned eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-,"

"_Nah_, I'm alright. You got some strength in you, missy."

Smiling, the petite girl took hold of his hand and led him off the dance floor and out onto the balcony. She was hoping there would be no-one out there, the crowds were getting to her and she wanted to spend some time alone with her 'date'. Upon reaching the small, open air veranda, decorated with various flowers and potted plants, her hopes were shot down. There already seemed to be a couple. She stifled a laugh and elbowed Irvine gently, who was pushing against her from behind, urging her to go ahead. In front of Selphie, a few yards away, Zell appeared to be making out some-what feverishly with the library girl, Anna.

"Maybe we should leave them alone, Irvine," Selphie whispered, finding it decidedly odd watching one of her close friends get intimate with someone.

"No way, let's embarrass him!"

Before Selphie could object, Irvine crept up closer to Zell. Deepening his voice to do his best impression of Seifer, he leant close to his friend and whispered, "Chicken wuss."

The spiky haired blonde jumped half way out of his skin before pulling away from his date and turning around to find a laughing cowboy behind him. Zell was visibly embarrassed, a cute little flush crawling its way onto his cheeks.

"Irvine! You _dick_!"

"Man, _that _was_ funny_!"

Selphie planted a slap on the laughing teen's arm, in which he responded to by placing several kisses on her face, as Zell introduced them to his date.

"Sorry, they're not the sanest of people."

The pretty, dark haired girl simply smiled and clutched tighter to the blondes arm. She caught Selphies eyes, making her remember back to that night in the club, where Anna had walked in on her with a razor to her wrist. Of course, the shy-natured girl clinging onto her best friends arm wasn't one to judge others, but Selphie felt embarrassed all the same, and managed to excuse herself.

"Irvine, I'm just going to get a drink. Do you want one?"

"Sure, bring me out some of that strawberry punch. Maybe someone's spiked it by now."

Selphie tutted and caught the odd, mischievous look that him and Zell exchanged, before walking back into the hall. Feeling much less scrutinized, she made her way over to where the decorated buffet tables stood, sending flashes of smile to those who gave her theirs. Happiness seemed to filter throughout the large hall and radiate off the faces of everyone. All the laughs and grins of students having fun around Selphie made the world seem just that much more of a better place.

Smiling to herself, the small brunette picked up the white, plastic ladle that lay in one of the large, glass punch bowls. She spooned around the fruit that had been placed in there for effect and flavour, and transferred a fair amount of the red liquid into one of the two waiting Styrofoam cups. As Selphie was about to start pouring out the other one, for herself, she could sense someone standing behind her. It wasn't Irvine. This was someone cold and cruel, who didn't care for the emotions of others. Almost before the person standing uncomfortably close to her began to speak, Selphie knew immediately who it was. Celia.

Selphie could feel her heart rate rising and struggled to stay calm, telling herself that the blonde threat behind her couldn't touch her anymore; that the control she had over her once had ended.

"He doesn't love you, Selphie Tilmitt."

Despite the simplicity of the sentence uttered, the amount of spite and hatred poured into those words made the young brunette shudder inwardly. Her first reaction was to ignore Celia, but the burning sensation of those sharp blue eyes glaring into her became unbearable. Selphie fought the urge to clear her throat before she mustered up the courage to face her enemy and speak.

" . . . What?"

That was all that came out; a simple four letter word was all she could force up through her contracting throat muscles, which had closed up in protest. Celia crossed her arms over her chest and gave Selphie a withering look, the glossed up lips of her mouth hanging open in what appeared to be disgust. Selphie fingered the chain and locket around her neck, feeling a twinge of comfort when feeling the engraved words on the back. Words that had come from the heart. The blonde in front of her still stood with her arms folded over her chest, so much of which was showing it became distasteful, the pink puff of a dress only adding to it.

"What're you looking at, _freak_?"

"A bargain bin Barbie."

_Did I say that out loud?_ The enraged look on Celia's pointy little features gave her all the answers needed. Selphie had thought her response in her head, but somehow her brain failed her and pushed the words up and out through her mouth before it was too late. Selphie felt panicky and was trying for the entire world not to let it show. Her hands were sweating and her heart was hammering away behind her ribcage so much so that she thought it might pop out and land in a rather ungainly splat upon the floor. The images it summoned up in her head weren't altogether pleasant, but imagining the look of disbelief and horror on Celia's face made Selphie stifle a nervous giggle.

"Why are you laughing? I look much better than you, _weird bitch_!"

The laughing had since stopped as soon as Selphie saw none other than one of the blonde's cohorts coming towards them. Amber sauntered up to the buffet table they were currently standing by, tossed her silken black hair and settled behind Selphie, almost closing her in.

"Look who it is Celia. The little organizer herself . . . And doesn't she look _dazzling_ . . . it'd be a _shame_ if someone spilt something on that dress . . ."

Picking up on Amber's evil intentions, Selphie took a step back, landing one of her heels on top of something, which, by the squeal let out, she presumed to be Celia's foot. The brunette span around to apologise instinctively, but as she did so, the Styrofoam cup of red, strawberry liquid she held in her hand slipped out and managed to spill down the front of Celia's pink dress. Another high pitched squeal was let out, which much resembled the noise a pig might make if poked. Only a quarter of the room noticed and turned to face the direction where the din had come from. It was the students closest to them who took interest, the rest were too absorbed in the music and the bliss of the night to care.

"You _freak!_ This dress was specifically made for me by the regions top designer!"

As Amber fussed about her friend and mopped her front with napkins, consoling her, Celia's head shot up and her eyes fixated on Selphie with the most evil, fierce stare she had ever seen.

"Selphie Tilmitt, you are the most _stupid_, _ugliest, plain freak_ in the world! Everyone _hates_ you! I _hate_ you! And most of all, _IRVINE_ hates you . . ."

Selphie tried not to let the emotions she was feeling show upon her face, but she must've failed, because Celia's eyes lit up with a wicked glint. Whenever the blonde mentioned anything to do with Irvine, it went straight to the sorest part in the brunette's heart and struck it hard.

"No, he doesn't," Selphie breathed out in a small voice, "He loves me."

An amused expression graced Celia's tanned cat like features, before she got annoyed with Amber making the stain on her front worse and ordered her away. Amber skulked off into the girls toilets looking like a scolded puppy. Training her spiteful eye back on Selphie, Celia began to talk.

"So, you think he _loves _you, do you? Did he tell you that, or is it something your fucked up psyche told you?"

The young brunette wringed her delicate fingers together in nervousness.

"He told me."

"_Riiiight_. I suppose he bought you that chain around your neck that you keep fiddling with?"

"Yes . . ."

The bitchy blonde lowered her eyes to the silver resting snuggly in between Selphies collar bone and put on a fake tone of voice.

"Oh how _sweet!_ You're not fooled by that are you? He's only trying to get you into bed. Although one wonders why, seeing as you're a rather_ scrawny_ girl, with a plain ol' face. Quoting directly from the ladies man himself, may I add?"

_Don't listen to her, she's lying. She's a lying cow._

"I mean, look at you. You're, like, _one foot_ off the ground, your _way_ too hyperactive for your own good and you have that whole self-harm business going on. What's up with _that?_"

_Get lost, I hate you. You're nothing but a bitch._

"And let's _not_ forget the botched up suicide attempt. Are you so dumb that you couldn't even kill yourself? You're one big living failure . . ."

Celia stopped and gave Selphie a cocky look, raising one finely plucked eyebrow up before lowering it and pouting her red lips.

"Irvine fucking hates you. It's a joke that he even _said_ he loved you. You're so goddamn _ugly_, I'm surprised he can be within ten feet of you, let alone _kiss_ you. Face it; once he's got you into bed, you're just gonna be another girl on his long list . . ."

The young brunette felt something in her that hadn't come into the light for a long time. Instead of feeling vulnerable or self pitying, she could feel red hot anger rising up slowly in herself. However, Celia carried on with the insults, digging in every sensitive area she could with her sharp claws.

"Anyway, Irvine's said those three little words to me too. Of course, the first time was in the throes of a sexual act, but who can blame him, anyone would want _me_ on the end of their-,"

"**_Shut the hell up!_**"

Celia looked a bit taken back at the prospect of her victim shouting out and interrupting her, whilst she was in the middle of trying to take them out with her cruel words. Selphies outburst had attracted the attention of a few fellow students once again and they looked on in curiosity whilst half-heartedly carrying on with whatever it was they had been doing beforehand.

The blonde regained her composure and got ready to open her mouth again, no doubt to fire yet another round of nasty vocabulary, but in the time it took her to even breathe in any air to do so, Selphie spoke (or rather shouted) again.

"**_No_**, just listen for once! You're **_always_** going on about how much you hate me, well, have you ever stopped to think about how many people hate **_YOU_**?"

"No-one hates me," Celia replied coolly with a flick of her long, blonde hair.

"You just keep on believing that, but when people turn around and decide they don't want you _bullshitting_ all over them anymore, you'll be left all on your own with nothing!"

"Yeah sure thing, _self-harmer_ Tilmitt. That'll be the case with you when Irvine comes crawling back to_ my_ bed . . ."

"You **_bitch_**!"

Selphie lunged out at Celia. She couldn't seem to stop herself, let alone find the link between her brain and her actions. There was so much anger in her that had been pent up for far too long over the singular blonde standing an arms length away. Finally, the young brunette had reached boiling point and could contain herself no longer.

Her hand connected with the left side of Celia's face, leaving a small red mark. Over the soft music that was currently playing, a few gasps could be heard. It took Celia a few moments to react, but when she did, it came in the form of her grabbing both sides of Selphies arms and trying to wrestle her to the ground. By this time, a small crowd had gathered, some looking on in concern and others getting excited, letting out whoops of encouragement.

The chesnut haired girl appeared to be somewhere in between a daze and reality. In her mind, she was experiencing all the times that Celia had induced pain and feelings of despair due to her taunting. Flashbacks were speeding their way through her head, leaving her dizzy with images of blood. All the times she took that silver razor to herself, all the times that she had been tormented by Celia and her crew, all the times she had seen the man she loved with each of them . . Everything that had happened in the past few months had decided to surface now.

Selphie felt like a completely different person as she lashed out, pulled hair and scratched whilst hurling words at the blonde she was straddling.

"**_I hate you!_** You think you can just steal other people's guys? Well you can't, you **_slut_**!"

Celia had covered her face with her arms, but still threw insults back none the less.

"You freak! Get off me!"

"_NO_, I'm going to hurt you as much as you hurt me!"

It was at this point that Quistis struggled her way through the ever growing crowd, with Irvine rushing along behind her. The instructor pulled Selphie off of Celia, despite the fact that she was still hissing and kicking like an out of control kitten. It wasn't because she didn't want Celia to get hurt, she would've liked nothing more than to see the bitchy girl get beaten senseless; it was because her younger brunette friend was getting herself into quite a state. Quistis hugged the girl to her chest before placing her in Irvine's open arms, whilst she went to deal with Celia, who was still on the floor rubbing her scratched up cheek. The band had stopped playing briefly, but someone from the festival committee told them to carry on with a flick of their wrist. They began playing a rather upbeat song, obviously sensing that some people might need cheering up after all the commotion that had gone on.

Whilst Quistis and others who had helped with the preparation of the night focused on getting things back in order, Irvine guided Selphie into a corner where the dimmed light didn't quite hit. It wasn't until she snuggled herself into his strong chest and inhaled that she noticed she was crying, not out of sadness, but because of the intensity of everything.

"You're a right little wildcat, aren't ya?"

" . . . I didn't _mean_ to start a fight . . . it just happened."

"That sounds like something Zell would say. Sefie, I wouldn't have cared one bit if you'd beaten her to a bloody pulp, because y'know what?"

Selphie wiped her eyes and looked up into those staring down at her tenderly.

"What?"

"I love you just the way you are. Little hellion or not."

"Yo, Selphie, that was _awesome_!"

This little comment had come from Zell, who had unnoticeably walked up behind them, followed by Rinoa, Quistis and Squall.

The raven-haired girl was the first to step closer and wrap her arms around the cuddling couple, closely followed by Quistis and Zell, and eventually Squall, who looked rather uncomfortable about this public display of affection, but did it anyway, because they were all friends. It was that moment, encased in all of her companion's arms, it was then that Selphie realized that she would always have people who loved her, even if they weren't always around to tell her so. Finally parting from the warm envelope of a hug that had been created, they all floated back into the main hall together to carry on with the night, laughing and enjoying each others company, seeming closer than ever before.


	27. A Drop in Time

**A/n: This chapter may be a little shorter than the others, but i'll make up for it in the next update. Be prepared for a twist in the plot, people . .** .

'_. . . And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down, for without the rain, there would be no rainbow . . .'_

Zell, Rinoa, Squall, Selphie and Irvine all sat around one of the tables which had been set out at the side of the ballroom, near the buffet section. The silver draped tables originally only seated four, but the group had pulled up other chairs and squeezed in, resulting in a rather cosy environment for the friends. As of yet, Quistis wasn't there, namely due to Seifer being difficult. The blonde instructor wanted to be with her much-cherished acquaintances, but also didn't want to leave her date for the night, who was being uncharacteristically charming (to her only).

At the time being, Zell was talking at a speed that seemed humanly impossible, but despite that, Rinoa seemed to be engrossed in what he was saying, leaning forward with her elbows upon the table and her chin cupped in her hands.

"So, anyway, after we began talkin' I kinda lost all the worries I had 'bout us not gettin' along, 'cause we clicked jus' like that, y'know what I'm sayin'? And after we danced, well, she whispered somethin' _really dirty_, and then begged me to do her right then and there."

Zell grinned and folded his arms casually behind his neck, before slouching back in the standard wooden chair.

"Zell?"

"Yup?" The blonde fighter glanced over at Irvine, who had spoken his name.

"That last part . . . it didn't really happen, did it now?"

A blush crept up Zells usually tanned cheek bones, sending his skin a delightful shade of rose petal pink on being caught out.

"Well . . . _No_, but . . . a guy can dream."

Irvine let out a short, breathy laugh, where-as the other male on the table, Squall, sent his blonde comrade an appalling look, which Zell shrugged off, never being one to take his sullen leader seriously. Rinoa, upon noticing the sour expression on her boyfriends face, reached out a hand to pinch his ivory cheek in a comical fashion, the way one's grandma might when greeting a youngster. Squall batted her hand away, crossed his arms over his chest and frowned as his friends laughed. However, when the furrow in his brow let up, he focused his vision on Rinoa and saw how she seemed to glow with raw energy when she was happy and giggling. Unable to contain himself, he let his guard down and pulled her lithe figure haphazardly onto his lap.

Zell was still talking away speedily about the library girl to Irvine, but Selphie hadn't failed to notice the affection that Squall seemed to have for Rinoa. She smiled to herself, always having been the romantic at heart. So caught up was she in her two friends showering attention on each other, that she jumped when she felt a hand entwine itself in her own which was resting upon her knee. Selphie looked away quickly from the couple opposite her (who had inevitably started to kiss) and fixed her attention on Irvine, who was the one who had reached out and taken her hand gently. Although Zell was still chattering away unfazed by the lack of interest, Selphie had drowned out his voice a long time ago and now felt as if she was in her own little world, consisting only of herself and one man; Irvine Kinneas.

As she gazed into his clear amethyst eyes with intensity, something seemed different compared to the other times she had sat and watched his beautifully coloured orbs. There was a mixture of emotions shining through, but amidst the love and common flicker of mischief, there was a hint of anxiousness playing in the depths.

_What could he possibly be worried about?_

Before Selphie could start her own little motor of apprehension running, the short distance between herself and Irvine began closing in and she soon found herself with his lips upon hers. As he pulled her into him closer and snaked his arms around her small waist, Selphie placed her hands upon the lapel of his tux-suit and gripped onto it loosely.

"_Heyyyy!_ Am I really that boring that everyone resorts to makin' out?" Zell whined.

Not getting any response from his friends, he added, "Can I at least join in with you guys? _Please_?"

The blonde was just joking around in his usual light-hearted manner, but it made Rinoa pull away from Squalls kiss-bruised lips and turn towards her companion.

"Zell! _Gross_. Go and find Anna . . . From what Selphie and Irvine said, it sounded like she couldn't get enough of you . . ."

At the raven haired teens comment, Zell bared his teeth in a somewhat triumphant grin, before leaping up out of his chair and walking off in the direction of the hallway, where he presumed his date had gone. Turning back to her crush, Rinoa smiled gently at him. The corners of his perfectly shaped mouth turned up in a faint smile and he nodded in the direction of their two remaining friends. Rinoa appeared to be baffled at her boyfriend's actions for a few moments, but her brain soon clicked into gear when she turned her vision the opposite way to behold a still-kissing Irvine and Selphie. Stifling a small _'aww'_ before it escaped her lips, she lightly hopped off Squalls comfortable lap, took hold of his hand and led him away, to leave the couple alone with each other (well, alone if you didn't count the other fifty or so students in the ballroom).

………………………………………………………….

Zell ambled past the buffet tables, picking up a hotdog as he went. They had somewhat cooled down since they were first put out, but the blonde fighter didn't seem to notice or care as he took a rather large mouthful of the snack in his hand. For a while, he simply stood there, chewing and looking around the large room before realising that some people may label him as an idiot; he certainly must've looked like one. Remembering the task at hand, he started up walking again, weaving through the dancing couples and heading towards the hallway, where his 'date for the night' had headed. Just before he could get there, he literally bumped into Quistis, making her stumble on her heels; she was obviously not expecting a fully grown Dincht to come colliding into her. Shoving the last of his hot dog into his large mouth rather ungracefully, he apologised to his female friend whilst wiping his hands down the front of his suit jacket. Quistis hoisted one golden eyebrow up and tutted.

"_What?_ Ma will wash it, so it doesn't matter."

"That doesn't mean that you can smear it with all sorts of food substances, Zell."

The blonde fighter gave her a nonchalant look over, before asking where her date was.

"Oh, he's gone to hang up his jacket and tie in his dorm-,"

"Tch, _yeah_, I bet that was his lame excuse to try and get _YOU_ in there."

Quistis placed her hand upon her curved hips and cocked her head to the side, letting one blonde tendril of hair fall from its style and come to rest upon her shoulder.

"Zell, don't be so rude . . . and don't interrupt me when I'm speaking."

"Fine, _Instructor_."

"You sound like Seifer."

Zell knotted his eyebrows together in a powerful frown, making him look like a sulking child. Quistis brought a small hand up to her mouth and began to laugh, before taking hold of her friends upper arm and dragging him over to the wooden seated area where they both sat down. A thoughtful look came upon the instructors' delicate features, one that had been seen many times before when she was trying to work something baffling out.

"Zell . . ?"

"Yup?"

"Is Selphie okay now? I know you're the one she speaks to the most about her . . . _problems_."

The martial artist leant back in his chair, whilst reaching his hands out in front of him and clicking his fingers, one by one, much to Quistis' displeasure.

"I'm not too sure. Her and Irvine seem to be gettin' back on track, so I guess she's got him to talk about stuff with now."

The petite blonde in front of him nodded her head slowly.

"But what if he turns around and decides to be an idiot again? We_ all_ know Irvine changes like the wind."

"He won't. I was speakin' to him earlier, before the dance, and well, he said that tonight, when they play the very last song, he's goin' to ask Selph if they can make a relationship out of what they've got.Y'know, he's gonna ask her out, as in boyfriend/girlfriend,-,"

"I know what you mean Zell; I'm only one year older than you, I'm not _that_ out of touch yet. I wondered why he looked so worried earlier. It must really be a big step for such a _ladies man_."

…………………………………………….

Selphie was the first to pull away, ending the mind-numbingly good kiss that Irvine had commenced. She still held onto his lapel, mouth slightly open, trying not to make it obvious that this small display of affection had stirred her senses. After a couple of moments, she looked away from the sharpshooter, a frown creasing her brow as she noticed all their friends seemed to have abandoned them.

"Oh, _that's_ nice," She mumbled, still wrinkling up her pretty little features.

"Maybe they're just playin' hide 'n seek . . ."

"Well, if that's the case, they'll be hiding forever, because _I'm _not searching for them."

Irvine ran a hand through his auburn locks and smirked at the stubborn girl before him.

"And why's that?"

" . . . Because I just want to be with you . . . Right after I've emptied my bladder."

"Oh how pleasant. Don't go missin' me too much, cutie," Irvine replied, cool and cocky as ever, earning him a smack on the arm before Selphie departed for the ladies restroom. Pushing open the pink entrance and stepping inside, she walked towards an empty cubicle and locked the door; not a moment too soon it would seem, because Celia and her two bitchy friends strutted in after her. Although Selphie had already confronted them, she couldn't help herself from holding her breath in fear of them hearing her and doing something much nastier than spilling punch down her dress.

"That _cow!_ I can't believe she destroyed my dress! She's _ruined _my night!"

"Not to mention that she stole your date-,"

"Shut up, tart. I don't need to be reminded of that. Even _SEIFER_ has gone with one of her friends! The _instructor_ . . . of all people! You can't get more prudish than her!"

"Celia, honey, calm down, your cheeks are going all red and it really _doesn't_ match the colour of your ball gown."

Selphie sat on the toilet, not daring to move a muscle, but listening with a racing heart to the brainless conversation that her three enemies were having outside her stall.

"So, when are we gonna do what we planned a minute ago back in your dorm?"

"As soon as possible. We can't let her think she's won, _stupid ugly bitch_."

"Cel . . ."

"Yes, Nich?"

"Someone's in here . . ."

As soon as those three words had been spoken, Selphie's mind went into full panic mode and she began seeing red circled rims around her usually perfect vision, despite a voice in her head telling her she could handle this if she just stayed calm. The girls outside had stopped talking, but a lot of shuffling and whispering could be heard. Selphie put her ear to the door of the cubicle, trying to make out what was being said. It was useless. Little did she know that Celia had made Amber enter the next stall and stand on the toilet to peer over the top.

"Look who I've found!" The model-like girl chided in a sing song voice, whilst peering down upon the petite brunette. At this moment in time, Selphie felt like a trapped rabbit being stalked by three, ravenous wolves, without a hope in the world of escape.

_Calm down, they can't do anything they haven't done before . . . oh_ that's _reassuring._

Pushing herself up from her seated position on the cold, closed toilet lid, the teen inhaled a deep breath, although quietly; she didn't want her adversaries to realise she still felt a little weak when it came to confrontations. Maybe that moment of strength in the hall had been just that; a moment, a singular, never to happen again . . .Suddenly, the stall door in front of her flung open, the lock holding it shut completely broken and splintered in its wooden holdings as it hit Selphie with some force. She almost, but not quite, lost her footing and fell backwards.

_Since when did she get so strong? Has she junctioned up? . . . But, we're not allowed to unless we're in the training center or on missions . . . Duh, since when has Celia ever followed rules? She thinks they don't apply to her. Why would she need GF enhanced strength tonight of all nights? She certainly didn't have it earlier when I pushed her._

"You think you're so_ smart_ don't you?"

Celia's usually high pitched, girly voice had taken on a harsh undertone, showing she meant business as she attempted to start yet another fight. Frankly, it made Selphie oddly curious but not without the old saying _'curiosity killed the cat'_ springing across her already fogged mind. The three vicious girls crowded around the small toilet cubicle, glaring with fierce intent. Amber reached in and grabbed Selphies left arm, yanking her out into the open sink area, being none too gentle about it. Putting two and two together, the small chesnut haired girl realised, with a shiver running through her, that they hadn't junctioned for nothing; their intentions were crystal clear as soon as Amber threw her down into the corner, underneath a hand dryer.

The shock of the cold, hardfloor made Selphie let out a small yelp. Celia seemed to revel in this, and simply stood looking down upon the pathetic sight that had been created.

_Your pager . . . it's in your pocket! Page Irvine!_

Fumbling in her pocket, she typed out the word _'help'_, knowing the lettered buttons off by heart. Before she could press _'send'_, Celia grabbed the wrist with the hand that had vanished into the pocket and tugged it out, digging her sharp nails in as she did so. Selphie gasped and dropped the small, electronic device when she felt the extreme hurt shooting up her limb. A loud clatter filled her sensitive ears almost as soon as the pager had slipped from her fingers. The noise echoed through her senses and she turned her sight towards the source just in time to see Celia's heel come down upon it, crushing it into jigsaw-like pieces.

The leggy blonde looked at her cohorts, nodding her tanned face at each of them, receiving a smirk in return in way of confirmation. Selphie let her eyes slide shut for a second, deciding that she didn't want to have to ponder over what was going on. She hoped that maybe, if she did this, the childish theory of _'if I can't see you, you can't see me'_ might just come true. Alas, with heavy lids, she revealed her forest green eyes to the world again, or rather to the enemies in front of her. Whether it was lucky or unlucky, Selphie couldn't decide, but the moment her sight was freed from behind closed lashes, the vision of Celia casting blizzard magic was the first thing seen.

A brilliant white light appeared around the lithe brunette's form, before she felt the full brunt of the spell upon her body. The ice prison she was encased in for no more than 2 seconds sent a scorching sensation right through to her bones, and left her skin screaming with agony. Selphie had no time to respond anymore, because as soon as the ice around her had gone, one of the girls aimed a fira ball in her direction. Unable to move out of the way due to the intense pain of the blistering the ice had caused, the small brunette could do no more than grit her teeth, curl up into a ball and wait for more brutal damage to come her way. Barely did she get herself into a foetal position when intense heat struck at her legs, burning and smouldering against her skin in a sickening opposite to the cold that was once there a few moments ago. Selphie lay still, eyes shut, body numb and unresponsive. She screamed at herself to move out of the way before another spell was directed at her. She couldn't. Nothing was working, nothing. Her eyes wouldn't open, her legs wouldn't move, her fingers could only twitch in a poor attempt at trying to push herself up. It hurt to breathe, feeling as though her lungs had been crushed due to the elemental force inflicted upon her petite form.

Something struck down at her upper area from above, it seemed, and sent a sharp, tingling feeling all over, the severe burning coming back once again. From experience, Selphie had enough strength left in her mind to realise that this was a thundaga spell that someone had brutally exacted on her. She prayed that they would leave her in peace, not wanting them lingering over her or causing her anymore harm.

The room around her felt as though it were spinning; she would've retched to be sick if she had enough power to heave. All the small brunette could do was lay there, limp. She couldn't hear anything after the thunder bolt had hit her. It had rendered her ears completely useless for the time being. It was as if she was listening into one of those large shells you find on the beach, where you're supposed to hear the ocean trapped inside. In a way, it was peaceful; the only thing she could draw from since herphysical formwas in so much pain and completely wrecked. Her body had gone and her mind was failing quickly. Trying to stay conscious, Selphie called upon images from her brain, the first one to come to mind was a short, movie-like vision in which she was in the sun, with her all her friends, laughing and running. Just before it ended, an image of Irvine smiling that dazzling smile came to her until finally he faded away, leaving nothing but a cold,empty darkness behind . . .


	28. Sleeping Beauty

**A/n: Sorry i've taken a bit longer than usual to update. I know i left you all on a mean cliffhanger . . . Please Review, as i am grateful for every single one i get. Thanks . . .**

'_You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world, but a world lives in you . . .'_

Irvine was still sat on the same table that, not long ago, seated most of his friends, along with a certain small brunette girl who had set ablaze a fire in his heart, which would prove near impossible to put out this time round. The sharpshooter had learned that being around Selphie Tilmitt was, for him, a life source. She had become the air he breathed; without her, his very being threatened to fade away. He now realized how the once-so-energetic girl must've felt when he left her all alone, which brought a heavy cloud of guilt pushing down upon his shoulders. He himself didn't understand why he had done it in the first place; gone off with those three silly girls. In the end he had put it down to him being a male of the species and proving to be ever so typical when it came to a certain something being offered on a plate. Though Selphie did nothing to tame his wild animal-like instincts, Irvine had toned down his desire for the female touch just a little; perhaps afraid of ruining his new-found relationship with the one girl he truly loved.

Beginning to get anxious, he drummed his long, slender fingers upon the table top, as he found himself looking at Zell, who was inevitably drawing attention to himself. Irvine chuckled as his watched his short, blonde friend imitating a dance that looked like the 'funky chicken'.

_How very appropriately named . . . Seifer would have a field trip if he saw this . . . _

However ridiculous Zell appeared whilst throwing his arms and legs about like a monkey on a sugar high, the few girls crowding around him seemed to have gone all gooey eyed and giggly. Irvine shook his head at the antics of the hyper active fighter, but found the smile on his face hard to get rid of. Looking across the vast room at the ornately decorated wall clock, he noticed that Selphie had been gone for nearly ten minutes.

_No girls take that long, do they? Unless they're gossipin'; but Sefie went alone. Maybe she bumped into someone . . ._

Not content with simply sitting, Irvine decided to get up and go wandering, specifically in the direction of the ladies restroom. Walking halfway across the room, he turned sharply to the left and took a slower pace as he neared the pink door of the girl's toilets. For a moment, he simply leaned against the wall with one leg pushing against it, in his usual way of standing, but without his cowboy hat to shield his eyes, he felt rather uneasy of people. He didn't want fellow students to think he was loitering around an inappropriate place or trying to pick up girls; the last thing he wanted was the nickname _'Irv the Perv'_ to start up over the Garden again. At that moment, almost as if his prayers had been heard, Quistis walked past about 10 feet away, holding a glass of champagne in her right hand, delicately sipping at it.

"Quistis!" Irvine shouted above the music that was currently playing from the hired band.

The blonde instructor looked over her shoulder first, then off to the left, smiling when she realized who it was who had called her name.

Changing her direction, she moved her way over to where the cowboy was leaning, beginning to talk before she was in front of him.

"Hello, Irvine. Where's Sef?"

"Yeah, that's what I need you for. Can you go get her out of the toilets? She's been _ages_ already and I really need her out here before the night ends."

Quistis offered him a brief smile in way of a response before pushing open the girls' pink restroom door, a slight creak coming from the worn hinges. Whilst slipping through the opening, she let her ice blue eyes linger on her waiting friend until the door had closed.

But then she saw it.

The sight hit hard like an iron fist to her stomach. The crystal glass of drink she had been holding slipped out of her fingers, starting its descent to the floor, where it smashed into several sharp pieces, the liquid splashing up onto the satin of her shoes. Quistis felt like what she was seeing was not real, she wished that it was some sick alcohol induced vision that her mind had conjured up, but she knew that it wasn't. This _was_ real; her friend was lying seemingly lifeless on the cold tiles of Balamb Garden's restroom, harmed in a way that made the usually strong instructor feel woozy.

"_**IRVINE!**_"

Hearing Quistis' startled scream from his position outside the girl's toilets, he pushed off against the wall and went rushing in without a second thought to the matter, though the desperation in her shout could not have prepared him for what he saw next.

Standing in the doorway, he struggled to take in the sight before him, not wanting the image to take a place in his mind, but failing to stop it from getting through.

Selphie was on the floor, her curled up position making her look far too small and far too vulnerable. Her dress, that she was so radiant in no less than 20 minutes ago, was ripped and burnt in places, smoke stains soiling the cream bodice and fine lace cut. Parts of the flesh on her bare legs was blistered, raw and cut open by the ferocious elemental attacks they had received. Irvine took a few tentative steps towards the slumped form of the girl he loved, drowning out the misery of Quistis' uneven sobs. Once closer, he could see the many bruises that also littered Selphies delicate body, along with the trail of blood that seemed to be leaking out of her tiny ears. At this point, the reality of the situation pushed heavy upon Irvine's mind, causing panic to overwhelm his being.

Kneeling down amongst the shards of shattered glass, plastic and pool of champagne, he took hold of Selphie's pale hand, which was curled up in a loose fist. He noticed the deathly cold feeling and the lack of response almost immediately. The sharpshooter squeezed her hand as he swept his gaze up to her face, which showed no emotion, then looked down to her chest, waiting for the rise and fall to indicate breathing. It was when the motion never came that he started to worry even more, his heart hammering against his rib cage feeling as though it might just burst and the sickly sound of his pulse in his ears only adding to the feeling. Not wasting a second more, Irvine turned around to face Quistis who had stopped crying and got a hold of herself.

"_**Go get Doctor Kadowaki, have her phone for an ambulance**_ . . ."

Irvine placed a his index and middle finger upon Selphies neck, careful not to push hard against any injuries, but applying enough pressure to find a pulse. After searching around for a few moments, he began to get frantic. Quistis, who had not yet gone due to shock sealing her feet in place, spoke up in no more than a whisper.

"Is she . . . is there a pulse?"

When Irvine turned around, his usual mischievous glare had vanished, being replaced by intense sorrow, tears rimming his reddening, violet eyes. As soon as he shook his head back and forth, the blonde instructor backed away and nodded, turning quickly, running out of the restroom; running to save her friend, running to get help.

Irvine took hold of Selphie gently and cradled her, whispering _'I love you'_ into her soft hair, before turning her and laying her flat on her back. He knew he shouldn't have really moved Selphie, due to her injuries, but for what he was about to perform, he had to have her in an easy position.

Placing his hands, palms open and laying them both upon her chest, at the bottom of the ribcage, he took a deep breath and cleared his mind of panic and worry. Once accomplished, he could get to that area of his brain and soul that stored magic and connect to it easily. Finding it, he began to scan himself for healing magic; Life, in particular. At the very end of his eager searching, he found one left, praying with all his heart that it worked. He knew that if a person was left dead for long enough, they wouldn't respond to life magic and be gone forever. Hoping this wasn't the case with the girl he loved, Irvine began to draw on the singular ray of optimism he had left and felt the heavy surge that usually came when summoning magic. A soft purple light surrounded Selphie lifeless form, glimmering down upon her and radiating throughout her body, before finally leaving a subtle golden glow behind and vanishing into thin air.

Irvine removed his hand carefully from their position on Selphies chest and lifted her up gently into his arms, watching her intently. When no signs of life seemed to come from the small brunette, the sharpshooter clutched her tighter to his chest, sorrow finally overwhelming him as he began to cry, waves of sadness wracking his body.

Though he hadn't noticed it yet, Selphies heart had slowly started to pump again, faintly but still enough to get the blood to her limbs, and to get her to take small breaths of air into her starved lungs. It was only when one of her arms twitched, that Irvine lifted his head up and gazed down at her. Bringing a hand up to her neck, once again he pressed two fingers delicately under her jaw line and searched, finding a pulse; a soft one, but a pulse none the less. Whilst letting out a breath he hadn't even known he was holding in, someone placed a hand upon his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Turning around, Irvine was none too surprised to see a solemn faced Quistis, despite the fact he'd never heard her enter the restroom once again.

"She's breathing . . . but she's not waking up."

The slim blonde behind him squeezed his shoulder whilst drawing her pink lips together in a fine line, the only thing she could do to stop the tears from coming again.

"There's a medical team and an ambulance on the way. Squall's cleared the hall with help from Zell . . ."

". . . Quistis, she's not waking up . . . _she won't wake up_."

Lowering herself down to Irvine's level on the floor, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let him burrow into her collarbone; something she wouldn't usually do, due to the cowboys' flirtatious nature, but because of his seemingly changed ways and the current events, she didn't hesitate once. Hearing Irvine produce a deep intake of breath, followed by a strangled gasp, Quistis guessed he was crying so tightened her hold around him, letting her gaze stray to the tiny form of her friend in his arms. Selphie looked shockingly fragile, her skin a bleak white where a peachy flush used to play across her features. In a loud clatter, the door to the restroom was pushed open with a creak, showing the arrival of two male members of the medical team, dressed in a straight-cut, no-fuss uniform. They pushed in a wheeled stretcher trolley and politely asked Quistis and Irvine to step back from the 'patient'.

Quistis pushed herself up from her sitting position slowly, keeping her eyes on Irvine, who didn't appear to be making any kind of attempt to move away from Selphie. Instead, he stayed in the same pose, still clutching the girl he loved tighter to his chest, not caring if his shirt got stained from her wounded head. One of the medical team, who had short-bleached blonde hair and looked to be around thirty-five, glanced at Irvine impatiently as he began to speak in a hushed tone.

"Sir, please could you step aside? We need to get the injured girl onto the trolley and-,"

"**_I'll _put her on it**," Irvine unexpectedly snapped at the older man, interrupting the rest of his sentence.

Looking down upon the small brunette with sullen eyes, the sharpshooter adjusted his arms around her small form, so that one lay under the crease of her knee's and the other supported her upper body. Not taking his gaze off Selphies pale face, he gently lifted her whilst steadily rising out of the kneeling position he had been in for a while. Irvine lowered her lightly onto the white bedding fabric of the trolley stretcher, pulling his arms out slowly from underneath her. Reaching his left hand up, he ran his fingers through her silken chesnut hair and behind her ear, bringing his hand down and grazing it across her sallow cheek in a tender fashion. Irvine leant down to her, letting his wavy, auburn hair fall over them both, and with sorrow heavy in his heart, he kissed her lips. Although they weren't cold, he got no response; no warm mouth came back to caress his in a way that only she could. The cowboy pulled back, feeling lonelier than ever as the two medical staff wheeled the trolley, with his girl on, backwards out of the rest room.

…………………………………………….

Irvine hung his head in silence, shielding his vision from the bright, garish lights in the private waiting room, thoughts running through his head like a speeding train. Strands of his loose, auburn hair drifted down into his face, but he didn't have it in him to move the hands he was resting on to brush it back into place. Someone else did though. It was Quistis, who was sitting next to him with a dour look upon her fine features. She'd smoothed away the wavy pieces of soft hair and placed them back behind his ear. Irvine turned his head to look at the blonde, who had always acted like the mother-type figure amongst the group of friends, which in his time of need, he was entirely grateful for. Looking around the room at the rest of his companions, he realized that all of them wore almost an identical expression; one of sadness and despair. Rinoa was perched atop Squalls lap, her face pushed into the lapel of his suit jacket, still sobbing silently whilst he hugged her tight. Her stifled cries only added to the heavy mood that was hanging around in the room like an unwanted guest. Zell was slouching back into one of the dusky pink coloured arm chairs that adorned the enclosed waiting room, shaking one of his legs up and down in a nervous twitch.

They had all been sitting down in the small, stuffy room for quite some time since Selphie had gone into another section of the hospital. It was the same hospital that the small brunette had been in last time, along with the most of same doctors and nurses who had treated her back then, when she had done the unthinkable and tried to kill herself. Irvine didn't want to think back to that time; when he had been such an idiot, too foolish to realize his own feelings for the girl whose life was now at risk. Although he didn't know what had happened to Selphie in the ladies restroom, he had a good idea of what might've gone down.

_It had to be them, who else would do that to her?_

The door to the waiting room opened up with a clicking of the latch, as a doctor dressed in a typical white overcoat stepped in, giving each of them a once over, specifically lingering on Quistis. They must've looked quite odd to him, seeing as they were all dressed in the outfits they'd worn to the dance that night. Zell sneered a little at the middle aged, somewhat plump doctor, who still hadn't removed his gaze from the low, plunging neckline of Quistis's dress. When the blonde instructor noticed, she gave him a frown of her own, her pretty features creasing up in a rather menacing way.

The doctor coughed a little, his fat cheeks reddening at being caught.

"I have news on your friend, a Miss Selphie Tilmitt I believe?"

Irvine half-leapt out of his seat and stood up immediately, followed by Zell, who walked closer to his friend, just in case comfort should be needed. The plump doctor looked down at the clip-board in his podgy, white fingers, before looking up and asking if they would perhaps like to take a seat again. Zell sat back down reluctantly, but Irvine stayed standing up, a worried look painted across his almost-feminine features.

_What's so bad that I've got to sit down for?_

Getting impatient, he snapped before he could stop himself; the result of lack of sleep and worry over his loved one.

"Tell us then, _you idiot_!"

As if it were a built in reflex, Quistis immediately apologized for Irvine's bad manners, although she wished she hadn't, seeing as how the doctor had rather rudely been leering at her only a few moments ago. The doctor seemed rather flustered for a fraction of a second, but soon regained his composure, and began to speak in a professional tone of voice.

"As you all know, when Miss Tilmitt was admitted, she was in a very worrying state. Visibly, her body was bearing the signs of a_very_ vicious elemental attacks, but when we examined her closer . . . . . ."

None of the friends appeared to be breathing, too caught up in what the medical man had to say, afraid that the world might stop if they took the time to fill their lungs. The doctor sighed before continuing.

"Her body sustained _massive_ internal damage to many of her vital organs. Despite this, her heart was untouched, along with the two cavas and the aorta, which is a blessing indeed. As for the lungs, one of the two main stem Bronchus was _completely_ crushed along with the upper lobe on the right side. Her stomach lining had a minor rip to it, which could've been potentially dangerous, had we not put one of our highly advanced lasers to it in time . . ."

The middle aged man adjusted the clipboard resting in his arm, licked the tip of his finger and turned over one of the secured pieces of paper, containing the information on Selphie. He pointed his chubby finger down on the page and ran it along a sentence whilst he read.

"From our scans and x-rays, we can see that she also received a massive blow to the left side of her head, cracking the skull in several places and leaving the brain damaged in areas, mainly the Parietal Lobe and a small part of the Frontal lobe of the cerebrum. As a result, Miss Tilmitt is in a comatose state of mind."

Once again, the room fell quiet, almost suffocating in its silence. Nobody wanted to believe what they were hearing, and everybody wanted to turn back the clock and wish they had stayed with their small, cherished friend for the whole night. No-one took it harder than Irvine, though.

"She . . . She's in a _coma_?"

"I'm afraid so. At this stage, we-,"

"_**NO**_, she _can't_ be! She . . . _no_."

Quistis stepped up beside her male-friend, placing a hand gently on his arm. He turned his head slightly. Although he only focused on her for a split second before he turned back to the doctor, she could see the hazy start of tears forming in his usually, so carefree eyes.

"As I was saying, at this stage we can't tell if it's going to be temporary . . . or long term."

It was at this point that Irvine turned away from the middle-aged, over-weight doctor. He had become annoyed with his uncaring mannerism and formality of speech. The sharpshooter took a slow, unbalanced step backwards and let himself fall into the armchair he had gotten out of a few minutes ago. . . Before he knew; before _any_ of them knew. His mind was swimming with thoughts and sorrow. Although his worst fears hadn't been confirmed (which consisted of Selphie being dead), she was dead to the world; vegetablised, a shell of her old self, unconscious. Whilst the five were taking in what the doctor had said, Quistis watched Irvine closely, maybe to get her own mind off the bad aura that seemed to linger in the air, or maybe because she realized that she had been wrong to judge him.

_He really **does** love Selphie . . . _

Rinoa had started up her sobbing again with Squall stroking her hair and shushing her, whilst Zell stood in the same spot cracking his knuckles incessantly, a furrow creasing his brow over concern and anxiousness for his best girl-friend.

"Miss Tilmitt has been in and out of the operation room, and is now residing in a singular room to herself down the hallway."

Quistis brushed a loose strand of blonde hair away from her watery blue eyes, and said in a small voice, "Other than being . . . _non-responsive_ . . . is she okay?"

The doctor, who was called Will Lauder, according to the I.D photo card hanging around his neck, sighed slightly and answered her question as best as he could.

"She's as okay as a teenager can be whilst in a coma. Whilst in the operating room, a handful of our doctors who have been trained in high skilled healing magic were attending to her."

"Whaddya mean, _high skilled healing magic_?" This outburst came from Zell, who was genuinely confused about the term.

"Well, we have access to extremely high concentrated versions of normal healing potions. For example, the Elixir we hold here at the hospital is nearly 20 times more effective than normal Elixir. The same goes with Remedies, Antidotes and High Potions. You see, instead of the injured patient _drinking_ these concoctions, we administer them ourselves, through injections, drips, and in your friends' case, an operation through to the main damaged areas, where it is applied straight to the wound itself."

Unexpectedly, Squall spoke up at this point, causing Rinoa to lift her head up from his shoulder and look at him, wiping tears from her eyes, the pupils of which had dilated suddenly under the harsh light of the room.

"Where do you get hold of these concentrated potions? SeeD could really-,"

"_**What the fuck**_, **man**! You're thinking of _work_ when one of our friends is lying like a **_goddamn vegetable_** in the next room!" Zell spat out at Squall, letting loose his well known short tempered side. His fists were clenching and unclenching by his sides, his baby blue eyes looking with fierce intensity at the gunblader, who appeared to be avoiding his sharp gaze. Quistis walked over to Zell and stood in front of him, her hands resting on her hips and a disappointed expression painted upon her delicate features.

"Zell, calm down . . ."

" . . . Sorry."

In a whispered voice, the blonde instructor added, "_Can't you see how this is affecting Irvine? And I'm pretty sure your_ oh-so-nice_ description of Selphie made him feel a_ whole_ lot better . . ."_

Noting the sarcastic tone in her voice, Zell felt rather guilty and looked over to where his male-friend was standing, seemingly trapped in a world of thoughts, his bright violet eyes hazed over and vacant.

Dr. Lauder spoke up, but not before clearing his throat in what would be considered a rather rude gesture to some. He turned to look at the five friends, mostly addressing Irvine, "You can come through to see her now if you wish. Only two at a time though, I'm afraid. Whoever's coming first, follow me please."

Almost immediately Irvine snapped his gaze back onto the doctor, who now had his back to them and was heading for the door. He felt as though he was in a dream, like his mind was elsewhere, his feet floating rather than touching the floor as he moved to follow the middle-aged man out of the room.

"Irvine?"

Quistis' voice said behind him, with a gentle tone.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

The sharpshooter didn't reply, but turned his head to the right, where he could see the lithe blonde out of the corner of his eye, and shook his head from side to side. He'd rather go alone, not wanting the trepidation of others to weigh down on him. Following the doctor down the hallway, he came to a wooden door and halted

Irvine heard the doctors' words signaling to open the door in front of him. Lifting his hand from his side, hesitation suddenly took hold. In the back of his mind, there was no doubt that he wanted to see Selphie; to be with her again, but he wasn't so sure if he wanted to see her in this specific state, with her not being able to talk back to him, or respond in any way. The usual cool façade that the sharpshooter often had around him, had faded all but three hours ago, the total length of time the group had been at the hospital, waiting eagerly for news of their friend, and to one, more than a friend. He couldn't stop Zells harsh words (although directed at Squall) from re-surfacing in his head, echoing around like an unwanted nightmare.

'_. . . One of our friends is lying like a **goddamn vegetable** in the next room . . .'_

"_Well?_ Aren't you going in?"

The Doctors low voice broke through Irvine's thought pattern, and he looked down at his hand clenched tightly around the chrome doorknob, his knuckles turning a slow, pallid white with the pressure.

"If you need anyone in there, a doctor or nurse, don't hesitate to push the red button by the side of Miss Tilmitts bed frame."

Not replying and waiting until the Doctor walked away, Irvine pushed open the wooden door in front of him and took a step inside the room, which smelt horribly of disinfectant and latex. Casting his violet eyes up from the tiled floor, he settled them uneasily upon the shape resting under the covers on the standard, hospital-issue bed.

There she was. His girl. His Sefie.

Irvine let out a breath from his air starved lungs, not realizing, or even much caring that he had inhaled and not released it before now.

He walked slowly towards her, the soles of the black leather shoes he had opted for that night clinking heavily andnoisely on the floor, adding a more foreboding air to the situation. Yet when he looked down upon her form, she didn't look as though she were in a coma; just a deep sleep.

_Sleeping beauty . . . If only I could wake her with a kiss . . ._

Irvine mentally shook the thought from his head as he pulled up a rickety old plastic chair from the corner, and set it as close to the bed as it would go. Although the legs made quite a scraping noise on the tiles, Selphie didn't wince or open one of her eyes like he'd half-expected her to. If one was to see her now, they wouldn't have guessed she'd been in such a sadistic elemental attack, not just by looking at her face. It was barely marked, holding only a small gash under her chin and a slight bruise peeping out from underneath the bandage, which had been tightly secured around her head, no doubt where the maininjury was.

Selphies facial and bodily injuries were much worse when she had arrived at hospital by air-ambulance. A lot of swelling and bruising was visible, along with crimson blood staining her pale skin and drying in places, matting her hair around the crown of her head. Irvine was aware that her legs had also been severely blistered by the fire and ice blasts, leavingareasopen to infection and weeping. He wondered if all the marks had gone away. They should have if the doctors were so skilled in what they said they were, but a thin blue sheet covered Selphies body from the waist down, and was tucked in tight to the sides of the bed, not a crease in sight.

Irvine lifted one of her tiny hands off her body and threaded his fingers in between hers, being careful not to disturb the drip that had been placed near her wrist, which was linked up to a bag on stand beside him, harboring some sort of clear fluid.

Grazing his eyes along the part of her body that was above the bed sheet, Irvine noticed that she had been stripped of her ball-dress of which she looked so beautiful in, and placed in a paper thin, blue gown with a square cut neck and sleeves down to her elbows. He stroked his long fingers down her soft arm, coming across patches of slightly raised, discoloured skin, where a wound had just recently been healed. Irvine knew it wouldn't leave a scar. If an injury was treated with potion up to two hours after it was given, no mark would remain, or else he and the rest of his friends would be covered in numerous, tale-telling battle scars by now. If left untreated, it would leave a blemish for life, or take its own time for the skin to heal naturally over it.

Lifting his hand up from Selphies right arm, he hovered it above her cheek for a moment and cupped it there, running his thumb underneath her chin and over her rose-petal lips, before bringing it away and running his fingers throughthe ends of her soft, chesnut hair.

A small bleeping sound filled the air for a second or two, taking Irvine a moment to realize it came from a small wall clock above Selphies bed. He had been simply sitting there, watching and caressing her for just over an hour, although it only seemed like ten minutes in his world, whichheld no track of time when it came to the girl he loved. In the back of his mind, the sharpshooter knew that his other friends, especially Zell, would be eager to see Selphie, and the last thing he wanted was for one of them to join him, interrupting his oddly-calmed state.

Pushing up out of his chair, which he only just noticed had been extremely uncomfortable, Irvine looked down at the small brunette, letting outa small sigh as he did so.

"I love you, my Sleeping Beauty . . ."

The sharpshooter gazed at her for a second longer remembering the fairytale they had so loved when younger.

_. . What if . . ._

Irvine bent down, letting his auburn hair fall in tendrils over Selphies face as he placed a loving kiss tenderly upon her soft, dusky pink lips. Pulling back slowly and stroking a hand over her cheek, he watched her again, half expecting her eyes to open. Of course, they didn't.

He smiled to himself, feeling a little foolish for thinking that a fairytale theory might work in a real life situation. But then again, His Sefie had always believed in the world of princesses and knights and happily ever after. Irvine kissed her sweetly on the lips once more and pulled back, turning on his heel out of the room, but not before giving his Princess one last longing look . . .


	29. Dark Natured Thoughts

**A/n: Sorry it's been such a wait people. Thanks for being patient. This chapter's a bit longer to make up for all the time i took updating. **

'_What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters to what lies within us . . .'_

It had been almost a week since the Garden Dance; since the horrific event that occurred, memories of which were still as harrowing and vivid in a certain gunslingers head as if it only happened half a minute ago. He knew he had to stop thinking about it, that it wouldn't do any good him to dwell over past matters, but every time he went to think about something else, the horrible images would push their way back into his head. To onlookers in the Cafeteria, Irvine would've appeared to be staring into the steam rising out of his coffee, but although looking, he was not seeing. The only vision he could see was that of the girl he cherished the most in the world, slumped on the cold, tile floor of the womens restroom, covered in injuries and stained with blood, her complexion a sallow white. Irvine continued gripping his coffee cup tightly, until he felt a pair of small, soft hands wrap around his own and around the cup. For a moment, he thought it was Selphie, but that was before he snapped back into reality. When looking up, the sharpshooter instantaneously registered the pair of chocolate brown eyes looking at him to belong to Rinoa. He was fully aware that she was concerned and worried about his state of mind; it showed all too well in those wide orbs of hers which were currently study his face.

"Irvine? You've spaced out again . . ."

He mumbled an apology under his breath, before hanging his head again, supposedly looking back down into the swirling black depths of his drink, but actually getting lost in his mind for the one-hundredth time that day.

Feeling several flashes of minor pain in his hands, he realised Rinoa was digging her nails into him slightly, leaving small, crescent shaped marks in his tanned skin.

"Talk to me! Stop . . . thinking! It's too Squall-like."

Irvine felt a small smile beginning to tug at the corners of his lips.

"I thought you loved Squall . . ."

"I do! But you're Irvine, you know, the lovable cowboy, the one with all the dirty comments, the gentleman of the group."

The 'lovable' cowboy laughed at his friends description of him, finally glad to have his mind taken off of the sullen thoughts he was drowning in only a few minutes earlier.

"So, if that's me, then whats your depiction of Zell?"

Rinoa leaned back in her chair, letting her small, satiny hands fall from around Irvine's larger ones and bringing them up to stretch her arms out, accompanied by a yawn.

"Hmm . . . Chicken Wuss."

Irvine laughed again. He could see why Squall had fallen for the pretty girl sitting in front of him. She had a habit of making people happy, whether you wanted to be or not.

Rinoa let out a small giggle before putting a hand up to her mouth and speaking through it.

"Don't tell him I said that, will you? He'd totally kill me!"

The sharpshooter shook his head softly from side to side, the smile on his face ever so slowly fading as the melancholy thoughts settled back in, creating an almost visible dark cloud hanging over his head. Taking his hands away from the coffee cup, he realised that the liquid was cooling down rapidly; after all, it had been a good 10 minutes since he had purchased it from the ever-gossiping dinner lady at the front till. Not one to waste money, Irvine picked up the cup and downed the contents in a few gulps, the bitter taste leaving a well-placed adrenaline rush in his system.

" . . . Rinoa?"

The raven haired girl looked up from playing with a sugar sachet on the table and placed her large, brown eyes upon her friend's indigo-purple ones, giving all her attention instantly.

"Yes?"

Irvine hesitated. He wasn't exactly used to talking about things. After-all, nothing had ever really gone all that wrong in his life up until now. He hadn't had the hap-hazard life that Squall had led, so he had no real reason to be clamming up and keeping things to himself.

"Irvine, I can tell you want to say something, so just . . . say it."

_. . . Okay . . . _

"It's these . . . _images_ I keep gettin' in my head. I can't sleep without seeing Selphie lyin' there as she was when Quistis found her in the toilets. I can't even blink without seein' it. Hell they even haunt me when my eyes are _wide_ open . . ."

Rinoa placed her hand on top of Irvine's right, which was resting, fingers splayed out across the table top, the tips turning white through him pushing down.

"You're worried about her, we all are. But . . . she'll pull through. She'll wake up Irvine. I _know_ she will. Anyway, we're going to see her later and who knows; maybe she'll be sitting up in bed with a smile on her face, waiting for you."

Irvine knew it was possible, but he didn't pin his hopes on Rinoa's words, although they had brought him a little comfort. Rinoa, him, Squall, Quistis and Zell were all due to catch a ferry over to Dollet Hospital in about an hour. All he had to do was wait, hang on and hope that somehow, Rinoa was right.

…………………………………………………..

Zell dangled his arms over the edge of the ferry, feeling the soft ocean spray that was being kicked up from the boughs of the small but sturdy ship. It took about half an hour to get to Dollet using the local boat, and would've taken less time if they'd flown the Ragnarok, but apparently, two of it's many high-powered engines were damaged, and due to be fixed. Zell had decided to come out of the sheltered seating area, simply because he didn't like to sit down, and because he found the interior too depressing, with its chipping paint and rickety seats. The small fighter wasn't exactly happy in the first place. One of his best friends was still in a coma and that weighed on him more than anything else in the world. He continued to let his arms dangle, watching the way that the ships bottom sliced through the murky waves, creating and leaving behind a thick, white froth. The blonde didn't notice Quistis, who was standing about three feet away, and had been for a few minutes.

"How does your hair stay put in all this wind?"

Zell jumped a little, startled by a sudden voice. Yes, the wind was strong, and seemed to blow through one ear and out the other, causing the unholiest of dins, but he had still heard his friend speak.

"Oh, hey Quisty."

The blonde instructor walked steadily closer to the short fighter, keeping a straight line despite the ship lurching every which way, threatening to throw her off balance.

"Aren't you cold out here?"

"Nah. I'd rather be out here than in the cabin area."

"Oh? Has someone upset you?"

Zell ceased looking at the waves getting swallowed under the bough and, bringing his head up off the railing, he looked at Quistis.

"No. It's just a bit . . . _gloomy_ in there. No-one's talkin'."

"Well, under the circumstances, I'm not all that surprised. I don't think anyone's particularly fond of going to hospitals to visit an unconscious friend."

Zell winced inwardly.

"You didn't have to be so blunt."

"I didn't mean to be, actually. Maybe you should come back in. We'll be docking soon, and you'll catch your death out here."

Quistis offered Zell a small smile, which he returned, grateful for her slight-motherly attitude towards him. He pushed himself away from the edge of the ship and rested his cold hands in his jacket pocket, following his female companion back into the warmth of the seating area. Squall was sitting next to Rinoa by the small, round window, with one of his leather clad arms wrapped possessively around her petite shoulders. Irvine was sitting on a wooden bench, two spaces away from the couple, with his head in his un-gloved hands and his black cowboy hat placed next to him. He hadn't brought his long, worn cattleman's coat with him, for reasons unknown, and looked rather chilly sitting there with a tight black t-shirt and blue, faded bootleg jeans on. Even Zell had opted for slightly warmer attire, putting on a loose khaki jacket that had been hanging in his closet for ages, along with longer, baggier jeans to cover his calves. He'd never been a fan of the tight trousers that Irvine found so appealing.

Upon realising that he was just standing in between benches, Zell walked to the end of the small area, towards the drinks machine situated there. Slipping three Gil into the coin slot, he jabbed the button to order coffee, whilst waiting for it to pour, he turned around and asked if anyone else wanted a drink.

Rinoa spoke up, "Can I have a hot chocolate? You're paying, right? _Thanks Zelly_!"

Zell rolled his blue eyes a little, before taking his waiting, plastic cup of liquid, and dealing with Rinoa's request, then walking over to where she was seated.

The ebony haired girl smiled sweetly up at him and took the drink out of his hands.

"Thanks. You shouldn't be drinking coffee, you're hyper enough."

"_Cheers for the advice_."

The next few minutes were spent in silence, until an old, rusty, toll bell in the corner of the room rang three times, signalling that the small ferry was now docking at Dollet harbour.

………………………………………………….

"You're free to go in and see Miss Tilmitt now," the same, podgy man, Doctor Lauder, whom they had all seen last week, stated. Irvine glanced back at his friends, who seemed to be waiting for him to speak. Giving them what they wanted, he opened his mouth, quietly stating that he wished to go in on his own. As the sharpshooter walked towards the room that the once-perky girl whom he so cherished was situated in, Rinoa's words flashed through his fogged mind, leaving a pang of hope in their wake.

"_. . . maybe she'll be sitting up in bed with a smile on her face, waiting for you . . ."_

When stepping into the room with a heavy heart, and flicking his eyes towards the simple bed in the middle, Irvine found that one shouldn't place hopes so high upon such easily spoken words. There was no smiling girl waiting for him, just the silent humming of monitoring machines and a small, motionless figure wrapped in crisp, white sheets, looking far too vulnerable. Walking over to where Selphie lay, his steel capped boots clicking noisily on the hard tile floor; Irvine pulled out the old, wooden visitors chair and sat down, not once taking his eyes off the cataleptic girl in his presence.

"Hey babe . . . I've been missing you."

His voice, though kept low and quiet, seemed to reverberate off the stones walls, breaking the heavy silence in the room for a few seconds, before it began pushing down upon his shoulders again. Although he knew, deep down, that Selphie could hear him and was possibly hanging on his every word; Irvine was reluctant to speak again. He felt somewhat stupid, as one does when talking to an answering machine, but immediately mentally slapped himself for that thought.

_This is Sefie you idiot . . . _my _Sefie._

The auburn-haired teen clutched onto her tiny, pale hand tighter, entwining his long fingers into her own. He wanted to see her fingers bend, and take hold of his hand like he was doing hers, just to feel some sort of response, but none came, as fully expected.

"It's been damn borin' without you around Sefie. Not much has happened. Er, I've been skippin' lessons, so I can't very well tell you about that side of Garden life . . ."

Irvine smiled to himself upon imagining how Selphie would react to this little proclamation.

"_I know, I know_. I'll get a warnin' from Seifer. _Another_ one. He still hasn't let up on me for that little stunt I pulled in the hallway . . . But . . . I don't regret serenadin' you for one second . . . I really do love you, y'know. You're the first girl I've ever said that to . . ."

Suddenly feeling an overwhelming need to be close to the petite girl on the bed, Irvine didn't hesitate to push away his chair and gently place himself on the bed next to her, before laying back and wrapping his arms around her figure. The sharpshooter pulled Selphies comatose form towards his body, so that her head rest close to the confines of his heart, and his nose lay buried in her soft chesnut hair. He tightened his hold on her, relishing the feel of her body fitted so snugly next to his.

"Wake up. Sefie, _please_ wake up . . ."

Irvine felt his eyelids becoming heavy with the onsets of sleep. He hadn't been able to get any lately, due to anxiousness and worry over the girl in his arms, but now she was here, and he was hugging her tight, he finally gave in and let his mind shut off.

_Soft, full lips brushed against his own, sending the smallest of shivers down his spine, to the base and back up again. A petite hand sought out his, and intertwined slim, pale fingers together with long, tanned ones. Irvine brought his arms around the perfect form resting close to him, inhaling the familiar sweet scent of wild berries that he knew to belong to the one girl he loved dearly; Selphie Tilmitt. _

_The small gap in between their faces began to shrink, as the brunette girl moved in and pressed her lips against the gunslingers, gently at first, then in a more needy fashion. Irvine relished in the soft pressure of her slightly open mouth against his and, lifting his free hand up, he ran his fingers through her silken chesnut tresses, before bringing his hand around and cupping the back of her neck. Their shared kiss deepened, tongues caressing each others in a tentative, almost naïve manner, failing to lose any tenderness in the sudden mutual intimacy between the two. A small hand found its way from resting on Irvine's back around to his front, slowly slipping beneath the thin, cotton material of his black t-shirt. Bringing his hand away from its resting place behind Selphies neck, Irvine followed her lead, running his larger hand down the side of her body, tracing her curves as she was doing to him. Carefully, he brought his hand up and underneath the hospital nightgown, as they continued to exchange kisses tenderly, making the feelings for each other intensify. When Irvine came to rest upon what seemed to be slippery, warm skin, he immediately jerked back, pulling his face away from Selphies in the process. Shocked and startled, he looked down to where he had been touching, only to find lacerated flesh, dripping with blood, slit open and raw at the edges. Scared, he moved away, prompting him to look at Selphies face. What he found only tripled his fear. Her hair was all burnt off, her scalp blackened and charred, leading down to her face, which was in the same condition; a sickeningly ruined, burnt mess._

_For the first time, Irvine noticed Celia standing off to the right of him, at the end of the standard hospital bed, her brightly coloured Crescent Wish aloft in one hand, and the other perched on her cocked hip. She had an evil glint in her cerulean eyes and a grin that stretched across her tanned features._

"_I came back to finish her off, Irvy."_

_The sharpshooters mind began to reel in the confines of his skull, building up unwanted pressure, as Celia continued talking in her shrill, fast paced voice._

"_She's not in the way anymore. Come here Irvy."_

_Irvine looked towards Selphies charred corpse, pushing himself away from the still sizzling mass that was the girl who had been very much alive a minute ago in his arms._

"_Irvy? Come here! Irvy! **IRVY**! **IR** . . ."_

". . .**_VY_**?"

Irvine jerked upright, blinking sweat out of his eyes, his hands clutched tightly to the bed sheets underneath him, to find a worried looking Rinoa gazing down upon him like some sort of guardian angel.

"Irvy? Irvine? Are you okay?"

Suddenly feeling the need to be sick, Irvine rapidly leant over the side of the bed and began to retch violently, the images he'd seen in his nightmare proving to be too much. He heard Rinoa let out a small, concerned-edging-on-disgusted noise, as a pool of vomit splashed near her dainty feet. Once the cowboy was sure he wasn't going to gag anymore, he sat up slowly, still on the bed next to Selphie.

_Shit._

Turning to look at her, he half expected the remains he'd seen in his dream.

_Dream? That was a fuckin' nightmare, Kinneas. And we all know nightmares aren't true._

Lifting his hand up from the side of his body, he reached over to stroke Selphies fine golden brown hair, grazing a thumb across one pale cheek as he did so. She still looked vulnerable, and somewhat . . . lonely, laying there on her own; unable to wake up from whatever slumber land she was caught in. Irvine hoped with all his heart that it wasn't one similar to the likes of the one he'd been trapped in. It had started off okay, and if it had carried on down that track, Irvine probably would've considered it a 'hot' dream.

Getting up from the edge of the bed, the gunslinger walked over to the small sink in the corner of the room, deciding he need to get rid of the particularly bitter taste that was hanging around uninvited inside his mouth.

"If it were up to _me_, Irvine, I wouldn't have woken you, but-,"

"I'm damn glad you _did_ wake me," Irvine interrupted, before bending his head under the running tap, spraying out a stream of glistening, fresh water into his open mouth.

Rinoa tilted her head to the side, and brushed away a piece of stray ebony hair, a confused look adorning her pretty little features.

"Whats wrong? Why were you sick suddenly?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Oh okay," the small girl replied, looking over her shoulder at the room's half closed door as the large, podgy doctor walked in. His small, pig-like eyes seemed to linger on Rinoa, before making their way over to Irvine, and swiftly moving on to eye the mess on the floor. Greying eyebrows creased downwards, before he lifted his gaze back up to look at Irvine, who had a feeling he would've gotten the blame even if the vomit didn't belong to him.

"Sorry. I . . . _err_ . . . wasn't feelin' good."

"So I can see. I'll send someone in here to clean it up. In the meantime, you come with me; I have a few things I'd wish to discuss."

The gunslinger shoved his hands somewhat awkwardly into his jean pockets and followed the stout doctor of the door and into the small, private waiting room off to the side.

"Take a seat please, Mr Kinneas."

Irvine stared at him for a moment, wondering why the sudden formality had come about.

" . . . Right. What's this all about?"

"You're friends have informed me that you are a close acquaintance of the patient in question, is that right?"

"Selphie? Yeah, we're close."

"Then I assume you know how this . . . _ordeal_ . . . happened?"

Irvine leaned forward in the blue, plastic chair he had seated himself in a few moments earlier. He had decided, almost immediately, that he did not like this doctor, practitioner, consultant . . . whatever he wanted to call himself. The short, balding man glared at Irvine with sharp, bird-like features, his cheeks red and wind-cracked, akin to a sailor's complexion. The gunslinger avoided his gaze and glanced down to the small I.D card hanging around the medical mans neck by a thin thong of small, joined aluminium beads. He looked a lot younger in the photo, his cheeks a lot less ravaged, but no less plump. With bushy eyebrows raised and mouth in a tight lipped position, it looked as though the photographer had taken him off guard in the snapshot. Irvine had to suppress a chuckle.

"_Well_, Mr Kinneas? I haven't got all day, I'm a _very busy_ man," Doctor Lauder said, with a tone as sharp as a cleaver.

Recalling the question, the cowboys mind became sombre again, as he searched for an answer that wouldn't raise suspicion.

" . . . I don't _know_ what happened. One minute, we were dancing an' kissing an' laughing; the next . . ."

In his minds eye he heard Quistis' startled screams coming from inside the woman's rest-room, calling out his name in alarm. Saw himself pushing open the door, which seemed immensely heavy at the time, stepping inside, lowering his eyes and seeing . . .

"Mr Kinneas?"

"Huh?"

"What _happened_ to Miss Tilmitt?" Doctor Lauder repeated, impatience lingering in his voice. Irvine recalled the vivid dream his mind had conjured up only a few moments back, whilst lying asleep next to the girl he loved so dearly. Celia's words echoed through his head, almost sounding too real. Disturbingly real.

_. . . ."I came back to finish her off, Irvy." . . . ._

". . . We found her like that . . . Quistis an' I, that is."

"I see."

An uneasy silence seemed to fill the air between them, before the doctor raised his eyes from the constant clipboard in his arms and began to speak again.

"I understand she was self harming-,"

"Who told you that?" Irvine snapped, defensive mode turning on.

"The scars upon her arm told me all I need to know. I've seen it all before, Mr Kinneas. It's really rather _obvious_, don't you think?"

The sharpshooter didn't know if he imagined the snide tone in the doctors voice, but was just as soon about to reply with a rude comment when he was cut off by the older man starting up again.

"Of course, it's a possibility that this is just an extreme case of Self-Injury. That Miss Tilmitt targeted _herself_ for a severe elemental attack. After all, she _is_ capable, and does carry every single type of magic that was used against her body."

"**_Woah,_** _what?_ You think she did this **_to herself!_**"

"It seems terribly likely. Patients in her state of mind tend to-,"

"I know this _patient_, _Doctor Lauder_," Irvine spat out, "An' she would **_NOT_** have done this-,"

"_Did she _or did she not try to _kill_ herself only a few weeks ago?" The overweight man interrupted.

"That's not the **_point!_** She was fine, **_everythin'_ **was fine! Someone _did_ this to her, _I know it._"

"You just believe that then, but please keep your mind open to what I have suggested."

"No I won't. You're a_ fuckin'_ _idiot!_ You don't know what you're_ talkin'_ about!"

"Please leave Mr Kinneas. I will _not_ be spoken to in such an insolent manner."

The sharpshooter got up violently, sending the plastic chair clattering to the floor in the process, making the Doctor flinch in shock.

"Don't _worry_, I'm _leavin_' already."

………………………………………………………….

Irvine turned over and pushed his face into his pillow, huffing out a breath of hot air, which just made him even more restless and irritated. It was a hot night, too hot, and the lanky gunslinger was finding it an incredulous task to fall asleep. Rolling over for what must've been the hundredth time that night, his lightweight, cotton sheets got entangled around his body, trapping him in a fabric prison. Making an overstatement with a noisy sigh, he kicked his legs furiously, breaking free of the covers grasp and sending them fluttering silently to the floor. Getting annoyed, Irvine pushed himself up from his current laying position and sat on the edge of the bed, long legs swung off to the side, feet placed firmly together on the carpet below. Grabbing a rather worn looking, grey t-shirt up from its crumpled place on the floor, Irvine gave it a shake and slipped it on over his head, pulling it down around his torso. Walking over to the dark oak drawers in the right hand corner of his room, he pulled open the top section and hooked out some baggy black shorts, giving them the once over before putting them on.

Irvine ran a hand through his tousled, auburn locks before grabbing his key-card from the top of his drawers and silently slipping out his dorm room. He hadn't even really decided fully where he was going, but he ended up walking 5 doors down the cold, empty hallway with bare feet and knocking on a certain blonde fighter's door. The hinges creaked and the entrance swung open almost straight after the sharpshooter had placed three quiet knocks.

"Huh?"

"Can I come in?"

Zell ran a hand through his slightly dishevelled, flaxen spikes and opened the door wider, without any words, signalling that it was fine, before shutting and locking it behind him.

For a moment, the undersized martial artist stood in the middle of his room, moving unconsciously from one bare foot to the other due to force of habit. One odd glance from his taller friend, however, sent him straight into questioning mode, curious as to why the sharpshooter had turned up in his dorm in the early hours of the morning.

"_So_ . . . what's up?"

Irvine knew, in himself, what was wrong, but suddenly telling Zell about the nightmare he'd had in the hospital seemed somewhat childish and blown much too far out of proportion by his inquiring, suspicious mind. Sighing once again, inaudibly, he pulled out Zells large, comfy lounger from under his desktop, which looked worn and threadbare with age. Funny, because he hadn't pictured his hyperactive buddy to be fond of sitting down all that much. Aware of the ocean blue eyes bearing down upon him from the middle of the room, Irvine remembered Zells question and thought it best to say something, rather than just sit slumped and looking miserable.

" . . . I couldn't sleep . . . I guess."

Zell folded his arms dramatically over his slightly tanned chest, which surprisingly, was not over-toned, given his exuberant role as a fighter.

"Don't tell me _you_ wanna sleep in my bed now, Kinneas."

Irvine raised one, delicate eyebrow in mock horror before letting out a low chuckle at his friends quip, which had managed to loosen the air between them.

"Seriously Irvine, what's wrong? I can see right through you, y'know."

Whilst waiting for some sort of reply, be it truthful or not, the blonde flopped down on his unmade, ruffled bed and folded his arms behind his neck in an easy-going fashion.

The gunsman rested his elbows on the soft armrest, leaving his wrist area to hang down, unsupported, long fingers brushing the creased fabric of his shorts. With feet placed firmly on the floor and legs hanging apart in a usual manner, he began to talk, if only to get rid of the unusualness of his blonde friend not speaking one hundred words a second.

"It's Sefie . . . I'm really worried about her."

Zell shifted from his laid-back position and took a more appropriate one for listening to his friend. Sitting up, he crossed his legs underneath him, leaving only his feet sticking out either end, much like a toddler. Resting his elbows on each knee, he placed his head in between cupped hands, with an attentive look upon his boyish features. At Any other time, Irvine would've smiled, but not now, not when such sombre thoughts filled his head and took over his mind.

"She's gonna wake up, man-,"

"But _when?_ It's already been two weeks. She doesn't respond at all. I just want to hear her, _feel_ her hug me back, kiss me, hold my hand, _anythin'_ Zell! . . . I need her . . . I was a _fool_ not to see it."

"We all miss her, but I guess we've just got to wait it out together, and support each other."

The auburn haired teen turned his head to the side, away from Zell, as he felt his amethyst tinted eyes glaze over and become moist with tears. Bringing his left hand up, he wiped all evidence of sorrow away in one smooth motion. Not because he was afraid to cry in front of one of his male companions, but because he was afraid that if he started weeping, he might never stop.

"I haven't slept for days, and when I do, it's only for a short amount of time. I get these . . . these images and memories of Selphie. Horrible ones that I don't want but that I _can't_ push out. Yesterday, when we all went to visit her, I got on the bed, so I could just hold her, y'know? To feel her next to me and know she was still there. Anyway, I must've fallen asleep because I had this . . . _nightmare_." Irvine paused and looked over at Zell, who was still in the same position and listening with a solemn look on his face, his black tattoo standing out starkly against skin that looked dusky in the shallow lamplight.

"I sound stupid. Like a little kid. I mean, who has nightmares at _my_ age?" The gunslinger scoffed at himself, looking down upon his clenched hands.

"Hey, you don't sound stupid. _I_ have nightmares. Everyone does; it's a subconscious thing, I think."

"But . . . it was _so_ real. So real that I threw up, I actually, _physically_ brought up my stomach contents over a _dream!_"

"Nightmare-,"

"Whatever it was, it was plain nasty. I can't get it out of my head."

As Zell stared at Irvine, it was visibly obvious that he was stressed, tired and tense, so he made it a point to try and be as best a friend as he possibly could at this time.

"Talkin' helps; you wanna talk about it?"

The sharpshooter appeared to be staring at a spot on the wall, just behind the blonde, a vacant look in his tired eyes, his face pale and expressionless. Whether he had heard his friends invite or not, he began to speak in a voice so quiet, one had to strain to hear.

"Zell, have you ever had one of those dreams about someone you really, really love?"

The martial artist uncrossed his legs from underneath him, beginning to feel the torment of his whole body weight resting atop them.

"What, like a _hot_ dream or a clean one?"

Irvine looked into Zells unsure cerulean eyes, illuminated grandly by the dim light in the room. He was a little amused at the boys' response, but continued on, none the less.

"Both, I s'pose."

"Well, then yeah."

"Have you ever had a nightmare about someone you love?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, that's what I had. It was like a dream and a nightmare rolled into one. I . . . I was kissing Sef, and _y'know_ how it when your mind plays tricks an' turns it dirty . . . Anyway, I reached under her hospital gown and-,"

"This is still the dream, right?" Zell interrupted out of habit, though Irvine, lost deep in thought, didn't hear his friends question.

" . . . I ran my hand along her stomach, but . . . it . . . _the flesh_ . . . it was . . ."

The blonde fighter opposite the auburn haired teen shifted in his position, noting the change in Irvine's breathing and the way his pupils became oddly dilated. A light sheen of sweat had broken out on his forehead. If not for the dull light shining from the lamp fixture, the obvious change in his behaviour and disposition would not have been noticeable.

". . . _Torn open_ . . . her stomach was slashed an' _torn open_. It was so vivid: the _feelin's_, _the smells_. Everything was hyper-sensitive. I remember looking up at her face . . . I never thought I could conjure up_ anythin'_ as _nasty_ lookin' . . . I s'pose that's what you get when you're a SeeD. Seen it all, yet your own mind can still shock you."

"Got _that_ one right, man."

" I don't wanna go into detail, because . . . I don't think I could handle those images again . . ." Irvine felt his mind fog over, as if the same nightmarish illusions were pushing at his brain, trying to make a permanent residence there. He shook his head gently, his wavy, auburn hair taking on a life of its own with the soft movement. The dull beating in his head seemed to disperse, leaving him very aware of his blonde friend waiting for him to continue.

"Anyway, it was then that I noticed _she_ was there-,"

"She?"

" . . . Celia. Standing in the corner, holding her weapon in her hand. She was smilin' this _terrible_, _knowin'_ grin. Everything was _so_ accurate. Right down to a yellow bruise she had on her left hand. But . . . she said something . . ."

Zell shifted his position yet again, until he was sitting normally. His comrade looked like he was spacing out again, so the small martial artist spoke up.

"_Well_?"

"Huh?"

"What did she say?"

Irvine looked up from his hands, still clenched together, resting in his lap, and placed his violet hazed eyes on the blonde sitting opposite. He heard the same words being repeated in Celia's high pitched voice as he spoke them himself.

" . . . _'I came back to finish her off, Irvy' _. . ."

A frown appeared on Zells boyish features, his eyebrows drawn together tightly. The lamplight glowing from his bed side table cast dark, eerie shadows upon the teens face, which heightened the effect of his facial tattoo, making him seem much more menacing than he really was. He got up from his sitting position, and stood on the spot, fists down by his sides but clenched as if ready to do battle.

"I _knew_ that **_bitch_ **had somethin' to do with this!"

"Wait, Zell, it was only a nightmare. We both know that they're not true. You said so yourself."

"But it's _obvious!_ Who_ else_ could've done it!"

"The doctor thinks she did it to herself-,"

"**_What!_** No way. That's crazy talk!"

"I know . . ."

Zell walked to the other side of his room, sighing and ruffling his hair in frustration, before dropping his arms back down irritably, then raising them again to rub the back of his neck. Irvine had seen this side of his friend all too many times before out on the field, usually during a particularly hard mission with Seifer or if there was something in the assignment no-one could figure out. He put it down to the boys highly strung nature and impatient ways. It was always the same; even back in the orphanage, although Zell was much better known then for his crying than his fighting. The blonde walked back to where he had been seated on his bed and gave out another frustrated sigh before throwing himself back on top of his blue duvet, none too gently. Almost as soon as his head hit the comfortable fabric, he hoisted himself up to a sitting position, using his elbows as leverage, a questioning look appearing on his face.

"Didn't you ever suspect anythin'?"

"Well, I never really thought about who could've done this to her at first. I mean, there _were_ a lot of juniors at the dance; it could've jus' been a prank gone wrong, but . . . it was _always_ there in the back of my mind. I only saw Celia once that night, when Sefie an' I were dancin'. . ."

"What _I_ don't get is why no-ones doin' anything. I mean, shouldn't Headmaster Cid have launched some sort of enquiry into this?"

"He never knew about the bullyin' situation. You know Sefie, never wants to make a big deal out of personal matters. I'm not sure if he's even _aware_ she's in a coma."

"Someone should tell him. Not the whole bullying thing, but at least that she's in hospital."

"We'll do it in the mornin'. As for Celia and her followers . . ."

"They better watch they're backs, because there ain't _no way_ I'm lettin' _this_ one go."

The two friends caught each others knowing glare, a hint of what was to come in a clash of sapphire and amethyst eyes, both minds turbulent with thoughts hell-bent on seeking truth and revenge.


	30. Unspoken Truths

**A/N:_Thank you to all my reviewers for being patient. I won't take so long to update next time, promise!_**

------------

'_You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.'_

------------

Rinoa awoke with a start from what had been a somewhat peaceful slumber. Squalls black satin sheets were humid from her perspiration and were clinging to her body, making it hard for her to move easily. Not wanting to wake the sleeping gunbladist beside her, she blew air upwards into her face in the form of an over-exaggerated sigh, that left her sleep tangled fringe messier than it was before.

"What's wrong?"

Rinoa jumped slightly, startled by the sudden onset of the soft, masculine voice which had whispered into her ear.

"Nothing. I thought you were asleep."

With all the grace and agility of a feline, Squall moved himself over from his side of the bed, to be closer to the sleepless girl next to him. He softly snaked his arm across her stomach, curling his warm hand around her hip and tugging her nearer, so as their bodies touched beneath the silken sheets. Rinoa turned her head to meet pastel blue eyes, gazing at her intently, questions hidden within their crystalline depths. In truth, she really didn't know what had awoken her. Usually, she slept soundly, lulled to sleep by the hum of the Gardens engines and the warmth of Squalls lithe body pressed up against her. But the past week had been anything _but_ usual. With the frequent visits to Selphies bedside, and the numerous consoling talks with Irvine, she had become worried about the both of them and hadn't been so easily lured into the world of slumber.

"Is it Selphie?"

Although Rinoa knew her boyfriend still had his watchful eye on her, she was once again startled out of her thoughts by his voice, which resonated off the walls; coaxed into echoing by the silence of the early hours.

"Maybe. I don't know why I woke up."

"_I_ do."

"What?"

"It's something to do with your buried sorceress powers."

"Oh Squall, just leave it out."

The brunette lifted his head away from the comfort of his pillow and turned on his front, propping himself up with elbows, shaggy hair leaning into his eyes.

"I'm not joking around, Rinoa."

Rinoa still lay on her back, but kept her chocolate-coloured orbs trained on Squall in a watchful manner.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

The raven haired teen wondered why the gunbladist had lost sudden interest in the subject matter, but soon found out when she followed his path of sight. Tutting, she hoisted her small, low-cut pajama top up over her cleavage and smacked Squall lightly on his stomach.

"_Stop it!_" A tone of mock anger filled her voice, "We were being serious!"

The once-sullen brunette lifted his gaze and apologised with a tiny smile before he carried on talking in a hushed voice.

"Your sorceress influences lay dormant in your subconscious, which, by the way is _completely_ safe, so don't start worrying. But, I read in a book that when something happens that can provoke a lot of emotion in the mind, it stirs up some sort of . . . _psychic ability_ to those close to you. Perhaps the Selphie-Saga triggered something."

"Squall! Don't call it the _'Selphie-Saga'_! How insensitive are you! . . . Sorry. You're right though."

"That's okay; don't stress yourself out over this."

Rinoa let out a small sigh and turned over onto her right side, so that she was facing her boyfriend, despite him still being propped up on his elbows. Suddenly, the petite girl, having taken into account what she had just been told, dawned upon a realization. If she had gained some sort of psychic link to a person close to her, that person being Selphie, then . . .

"Oh my Gosh!" Rinoa sat straight up, letting the satin sheets slowly slip down from around her upper body. "What if something's up with Sef! I didn't just wake up for no reason; I woke up with an image of her in my mind! Oh, what if she's _dying!_ There's no doctors around at this time, the ward is closed, and everything's locked up and there's no ferry for us to get over there and even if we did then how would we get-,"

"**_Rinoa_** . . . _sshhhh_."

The ivory skinned girl turned to her boyfriend as he reached out to stroke her silken hair.

"She'll be okay, Rinoa. Trust me."

With some of the unease lifted from her mind, she settled back down, comforted by Squalls arms wrapped securely about her small waist. As simple as it may be for others to brush matters aside, she couldn't help but think of her comatose friend, alone and vulnerable, as she drifted off to sleep.

…………………………………………………..

Irvine stood tentatively outside a heavy, double-oak door, engraved exquisitely with the signature of Balamb Garden and the name _'Cid Kramer'_ in the middle in simple, silver blocked letters. The sharpshooter was waiting for his blonde friend to make an appearance. He had specifically told him to meet at one in the afternoon, no later. Yet here he was; standing solitary with the second hand on his watch pointing to ten past the hour. Irvine sighed whilst running a hand through his wavy, sun kissed tresses and wondering if he should go into Cids office on his own. No sooner had he made his mind up, that Zell came sprinting around the corner, the soles of his highly worn (yet highly cherished) trainers slapping the tiled floor and sending echoes out in all directions. He had an apologetic look upon his boyish face, with a slight crimson flush around the apples of his cheekbones. The cowboy didn't want to hear his excuses, be them true or false, so he silenced the blonde with an ungloved hand.

"Let's just get this over with."

Zell nodded in approval, sensing that his taller friend wasn't in the finest of moods, therefore probably wasn't up to engaging in mindless chatter. Instead of knocking, they simply pushed open the carved doors in front of them, startling a rather busy looking Cid. Despite the somewhat rude interruption of his work, the middle-aged man greeted the two with a warm smile that sent his eyes creasing up with endearing wrinkles.

Irvine spoke up first, before either Zell or Cid could. "Sorry to interrupt you Sir, but-,"

"_Not at all!_ No call for formalities boys, after all, I've known you since you were both in nappies." Zell cringed at the thought. He liked Cid, and indeed it was true what he had uttered, still, he didn't wish to be reminded that the old man had seen him in various states of undress.

"Cid, we're here for a very important reason. It's . . ."

Seeing his friend fail with his words, Zell stepped in.

" . . . Selphie. It's Selphie. We thought you should know . . ."

Cid sat forward in his brown, leather chair, the fabric creaking in protest of the sudden movement. He took his glasses away from his face and rubbed his weary, over worked eyes, no doubt tired from the endless signings and agreement papers in front of him.

"How is dear Selphie, boys? Still the same cheery girl I remember?"

Irvine looked away from the older man, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes, unable to talk for fear of his throat constricting and tears welling up in his mauve-tinged eyes. Once again, the small martial artist spoke up, just as Cid seemed to notice the worrying change in Irvine's being, a noticeable furrow playing across his brow with fret.

"Selphie . . . she's in hospital . . . due to an incident which occurred at The Garden Dance less than two weeks ago today."

The worried look, which now seemed to be permanently etched into his face, grew deeper with the sudden news of one of his much cared for students being in a hospice.

"Oh gosh. I had no idea, no idea at all. No-one informed me of this. How is she?"

Zell looked to Irvine, but couldn't see his face because of the way of his head was hung, creating a curtain of hair over the right side that he was trying to view.

"She's . . . not good. Ever since the accident, she's been in a coma."

The expression upon Cids aging features was that of intense concern as he looked to Irvine, then to Zell and back to Irvine again, half hoping that the information just exchanged was part of a cruel trick they had decided to play. When neither of the boys said anything else, the elder man let out a long sigh, once again taking off his spectacles and rubbing the rim of his nose.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Do either of you know how or _why_ this accident happened?"

At this question, Irvine re-appeared from under his barrier of hair and shot the blonde next to him a warning glare. When they had discussed what to tell the Headmaster, the small martial artist seemed hell-bent on letting the older man know what had been going on with Selphie; and just who he suspected launched the attack. Irvine had immediately shown his disapproval, by means of shouting viciously at Zell, telling him he was stupid to think that Cid would sort the trio of cruel girls out and accused him of trying to chicken out of dealing with the problem themselves. The small blonde had thought it best, then, to let his friend take charge. At this very moment though, he seemed to be doing the complete opposite by letting Zell do the talking. However, he had heeded Irvines advice and told Cid the very same thing they had told Doctor Lauder down at the hospital.

" . . . We think it was a backfired joke that some under-classmen's set. Some sort of fireworks mixed with vial formed magic, maybe. Sef was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

The elder man, who still sat at his desk, glasses off and a stunned look upon his creased up face, replied to Zell with a sharp nod.

"I can't quite believe that no-one informed me of this sooner-,"

"Well, we-,"

"No, _no_. Not you boys. I'm talking about Doctor Kadowaki, or even the Garden faculty. I'm taking a guess that Selphies at Dollet Hospital, seeing as it's the largest and most frequented."

"Yes Sir, _err_, Cid," Zell answered back, beginning to shuffle to and fro on his feet, eager to move about; the timely length of standing still finally getting to him.

"I shall have to go and visit her soon . . ."

An uneasy silence followed Cid's last sentence, whilst the three men simply stared at each other, waiting for one or the other to speak up. Zell looked to Irvine, noticing that his mood didn't appear to be so dark anymore. . . But the sadness was still there; he could tell by the way his mind seemed elsewhere and by the clouded amethyst colouring of his eyes. One only got that hazy look when filled with such turmoil. The small blonde turned to leave, saluting Cid and tugging on the cotton rim of Irvines t-shirt, signaling that they had done what they came to do and it was now time to go. Just as the auburn haired gunshooter turned on his heel, Cid called out his name.

"Could I have a word please?"

Irvine stopped walking and looked to the elder man, who then proceeded to send a small smile in Zells direction. When the blonde finally got the message that he wasn't needed, he muttered a small 'oh' and skittered out of the heavy oak doors.

"Irvine, please take a seat, if you wish."

Not wanting to seem impolite, the sharpshooter strode nearer to the headmasters desk and pulled out one of the maroon, velveteen chairs. Leaning forward, he placed his forearms to rest upon each knee, letting his hands dangle aimlessly in the space between. He could feel Cids spectacle rimmed eyes boring into his skull, wanting to ask questions, but at the same time, not wanting to appear too eager to find out answers.

"Irvine . . . I am _so very sorry_ to hear about what has happened to dear Selphie. I can see it's taken its toll on you and Zell."

"Yeah, it's been hard . . ."

Due to habit, Cid took off his glasses once again and, removing a satin cloth from his top drawer, began to clean the lenses fervently. Whilst doing so, he looked across his paper laden desk at the boy in front of him. Something in him could sense that Irvine was much more deeply affected by the situation than he let on. Cid put it down to himself having been around a lot longer than his students; therefore, getting to know every single emotion there was possible for a teenager to go through.

"Am I right in saying that you were . . . the closest to Selphie, out of your little group of friends?"

Irvine suppressed a frown, though he wasn't sure why that particular expression was trying to push its way out in the first place. He simply nodded in answer to the older mans question.

"Were you . . . an item at all?" Cid coughed uncomfortably at his own prying, shifting around somewhat in his seat and gaining a slight rose blush to his moderately wrinkled face.

The gunsman looked downwards at his dangling hands, not entirely sure about how he should respond, which, in turn, caused him to grow frustrated. _No, we weren't an item. I fucked it up by screwin' around behind her back, then I fucked it up again by letting her get bullied, and oh, just for old times sake, I fucked it up once more by pretendin' I didn't care, when all I really cared about . . . was her._ Somehow, Irvine didn't see that going down well with the middle aged man sat waiting expectantly and patiently in front of him.

"Oh . . . we were close . . . but . . . it didn't get that far. We were together at the Dance; I was her date, _but_ . . ."

Cid sighed. "Well, things don't always go as we wish them to. Believe me, I've realized that now. You're rather fond of her, aren't you? I can tell. I was exactly the same with Edea at your age."

Irvine let out a small huff of a laugh before feeling a slight smile pulling at the edges of his lips. The elder man sat before him wasn't as strict and forboding as one would expect a headmaster of such high orders to be. In fact, he was almost too soft, and too fatherly for anyone to think he could set a just punishment for those who had broken one too many of Balamb Gardens rules.

"Irvine? You can take as long as you want away from you're studies and if need be, any upcoming missions. I know what it's like to be a teenager and in love. I was young once too. Much more foolish in my ways than you of course, but young none the less."

_Much more foolish? I doubt that. I'm the biggest fool alive._

"Thank you. I don't want to fall behind, so I'll do my best."

"Good boy, good boy. You can go and join Zell now, or whoever you're off to see next."

The auburn haired teen once again thanked Cid, feeling much more at ease around him now, than he did when he'd first set foot in the office a few minutes ago.

"Oh and Irvine?"

"Yes?"

"Send Selphie my love."

…………………………………………………

Celia Rosmund sat in front of her dresser mirror, running a hairbrush quickly through her well kept, blonde hair. Her two friends, Amber and Nichi sat on the single standard dormitory bed, admiring their ringleader's reflection and chatting aimlessly whilst they waited for her to perfect herself. Seeing as it was their day off, they had decided to go out on the town, to frequent one of the small back alley nightclubs that Balamb had to offer. Celia pouted her full lips; pumping up a lip gloss she had in her hand, ready to apply the red liquid to complete her outfit. It was a simple red dress with small shoulder straps, made out of a stretchy fabric which clung to almost every body part. The dress, which she had picked out from an expensive, out of town boutique, barely reached past her buttocks, leaving little to the imagination. Celia's friends had chosen to dress in similar attire, Nichi opting for a slinky, black two piece set (which was equally clingy and equally as short as the blondes) whilst Amber had gone for a virginal white, low cut dress, highlighting her tanned skin.

The three girls commented on how gorgeous each of them appeared, giggling and adding last moment touch ups to their makeup, before they stepped out into the corridor, ready to go.

None of them had showed an ounce of remorse after the heinous attack they'd launched on Selphie. They hadn't spoken about the incident since, even though they all gained great pleasure from it. From time to time, for split seconds, Celia wondered how Selphie was doing. Yet this wasn't out of concern, it was purely because she hadn't had anyone to push around lately. The three didn't show fear of ever being found out, after-all, they'd overheard Selphie had suffered memory loss (the source being from the daily cafeteria gossip); so there was no evidence to prove they had done anything wrong at all . . .

…………………………………….

Zell kept his eyes upon the girls walking a few meters in front, who were chattering away and making obscene, dramatic gestures in body language, completely ignorant to the fact that they were being followed. The spiky haired blonde turned to Irvine, who was moving stealthily by his side, and studied the look of concentration gracing his somewhat chiseled features. The two kept to the shadows, making sure that they could still see their subjects, but could not be seen themselves, just in case one of the three were smart enough to turn around. After-all, the passage way to the nightclub was a dark and derelict one, which drunks often inhabited. Any girl in her right mind would be suspicious of walking down there at night; but not these three. Celia and her friends were still talking and screeching at each-others comments, obviously anticipating spending the night in a brightly lit dwelling ground for SeeD's and students alike.

As they got within a few minutes from the club, the population of the area began to increase a little, along with the atmosphere. Pink neon light was spilling out from the black beaded doorway, which was manned by a tall, ethnic man in a security guard suit. Off to the right lingered a bunch of rowdy male teenagers, most of which were smoking and had obviously been drinking. Irvine and Zell watched a couple exit hand in hand from the club, before the security man let Celia, Amber and Nichi inside with a wink.

"Come on, we don't wanna lose them."

Zell nodded his head at his auburn haired friend, swiftly following him into the club and ignoring rude comments of _"short-ass"_ emitted from the group of younger teens outside. He was completely focused on the task at hand.

"Can you see them?"

The club was rather full, but not overly so. Still, the strobe lighting effects made it hard to look for a singular person; or three in this case. The martial artist scanned his blue eyes quickly through the dancing crowds ahead of him, and spotted a tall blonde being followed by her cohorts.

"_There!_ By the bar!"

Irvine swept a hand through his hair and turned around to smirk at his smaller friend. "Target locked."

The sharpshooter thought it best to wait until the girls had stepped away from the busy bar. He watched Celia send her eyes fluttering in the direction of the young, brunette man who poured and mixed up her drink. Frowning in disgust at the blonde individual, he jerked his head up at Zell, before pushing through the hyped up clubbers, getting more than a few drunken insults hurled in his direction. Irvine clasped his large hand around the right shoulder of the leggy blonde and spun her around, none too gently.

The red liquid in the glass Celia was holding splashed all over her dress of the same colour, leaving her to spit out enraged comments, before noticing who it was that had her in a firm grasp. A scowl left her bronzed face, being replaced with an expression representing lust as a sultry look appeared in her ice blue eyes.

"Wanna go round the back, _Mister Kinneas_?"

Zell finally caught up to his friend and knocked his full weight into Nichi, who had been standing next to Celia, twiddling her black hair and sending her eyes up and down Irvines form. Now she was on the floor, a pained look gracing her features, whilst she rubbed her ankle. Caught in a moment of shock, Celia glanced at Zell, then at her two friends, before she felt Irvines hand once again, this time, gripping her wrist and squeezing. The martial artist off to his side hoisted Nichi up off the floor roughly, causing her to let out a squeal that soon got swallowed up by the loud, thumping music of the clubs atmosphere. With his free hand, Zell took hold of Amber's upper arm, and began leading them towards the back door, in the fashion of a bouncer dealing with trouble-makers; only far less conspicuous. Irvine followed close behind with a curious Celia, who was demanding to know what was going on. Whilst walking, Amber had managed to kick Zell on the upper thigh, obviously aiming for his crotch, but failing. He ignored the stinging pain but threw the girl harshly through the fire exit, after Irvine who had frog-marched Celia out into the cool night air. If people had seen any ruckus, they had stayed well out of the way, either minding their own business or not bothered by yet another "drunken brawl" in the clubs surroundings.

Nichi yanked out of Zells grip, hurting herself in the process and trotted over to where her friend lay scowling up at the two men from the dirt. Irvine pushed Celia in no particular direction, yet she ended up thudding against the rough stone wall near some over-piling dustbins.

"_You fucking jerk_!"

"Yeah, you have _no right _chucking us around like this!"

"Especially _you_, short piece of chicken shit . . ."

Amber had spat out the last comment, causing Zell to grit his teeth, forcing himself to stay calm and not drive his fist through her jaw.

"Shut the _hell_ up."

"Ooh, hit a nerve have I, Dincht?"

Irvine yanked the two girls on the ground up by their arms and threw them next to Celia.

"We know what you did . . ."

"We've done a lot of things _Irvy_ . . . including you."

The auburn haired sharpshooter ignored her retort and turned his attention to Zell, who seemed to be having a hard time keeping his fists unclenched and by his side.

"Why are you doing this to us, Irv? We thought you _loved_ us. At least, that's what you said when we-,"

"You just don't know when to quit **_do you!_** Just, for once, **_shut the hell up!_**"

Celia seemed a little taken aback at Irvines outburst. He didn't shout a lot, but when he did, it was enough to strike fear into the bravest of men. Taking a few steps, he closed in around the bitchy blonde and took hold of her wrists again, keeping them pinned down.

"I _know_ what you did to Selphie."

"I don't know what-,"

"**_Don't fuckin' lie to me_**!" Irvine tightened his grip, losing his temper quickly.

"You're a **_bitch_** Celia. And you're going to pay for this."

Celia pursed her red, glossed lips and watched the purple hazed eyes in front of her, which held her in a menacing glare.

"_Admit it, Celia_."

"Admit wh-,"

Irvine brought her delicate wrists up off the wall and smashed them back down with some force. Cracking was heard, followed by a short, sharp shriek. Amber and Nichi watched, slowly moving away. Finally, it was their turn to look like rabbits caught in the headlights. They'd tormented and bullied for so long, yet neither one had tasted it for themselves, had only ever been feared and never had to fear others. This is what they had been doing to people for years, and not taken a second thought about it.

But Celia wasn't going to fall that easily. She'd been brought up in such a way that cracking under pressure wasn't an option and neither was giving in. She always had to be the best, and was taught by her parents to never let anyone undermine her.

The blonde clenched her teeth together and kept a steely glare on Irvine, despite the pain of one thousand little daggers shooting up her left arm, underneath her skin and right into the bone. To the right, Zell had once again taken up his strong hold on Amber and Nichi, in suspicion that they might lunge for him, or make a run for it if left unattended.

"What about _you two_?" The martial artist inquired, narrowing his sapphire eyes at the girls he had a hold of. "Tell us what you did or . . ."

"Or what _chicken_?" Amber sneered, in fashion reminiscent of the leader of the group.

"**_Or I'll fuckin' bust your face up!_**"

Celia began to pipe up, hearing this retort. "Dincht is all talk and _no_ action, Amber. He wouldn't _dare_ . . ."

"_Shut the **hell** up!_ Irvine, break her neck, why don't ya!"

The sharpshooter seemed to ignore his friend for the time being, knowing full well that he was riled and not thinking straight, which wasn't exactly a bad thing in this situation.

"Celia . . ."

"_Irvy_ . . ."

"**_Tell me what you did to her_**! Admit it was _you_ and your _little buddies_ that put Selphie in a coma!"

A smile ghosted across Celia sickly red lips, her eyes creasing up ever so slightly at the news.

"She's in a coma? _Poor little Selphie T_. Lets hope she stays that way forever."

Irvine drew his lips together in a sharp line and hissed air out of his nose in a futile attempt to keep his blood from boiling.

"**_What the_ fuck_ did you say!_**"

"You heard . . ."

At that precise moment, someone had decided to call him on his cell phone, despite it being quite late. He kept his hold on Celia, who was looking unquestionably smug, and let the small device beep out in his pocket for a while, before deciding to get it. Without looking at the caller display, and still keeping one hand gripping the blonde in front of him, he flipped open the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Irvine Kinneas?"

"Yes?"

"It's Doctor Lauder, From Dollet general hospital."

Irvines heart plummeted as he heard the stoic tone of the physician on the line.

"Perhaps you should make your way here. It's . . . Miss Tilmitt . . ."


	31. Lost and Found

'_No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through tears . . .'_

Zell had little to no trouble in frog-marching the three girls back to the Garden, once Irvine had hurried off to catch the last ship over to Dollet hospital. The eerie silence had unnerved the small blonde more than once, for he had a ridiculous paranoia that somehow, the bullies were communicating through telepathy. At one instance, Celia had torn away from Zells harsh grip and attempted to speed off down the dark streets of Balamb. Not being able to let go of his other two captives, he had aimed a low level thunder spell at the heel of her left foot, sending her tumbling to the cobbled ground with quite a thump, and leaving him an ample chance to catch up with the blonde.

Knowing it was well past curfew, Zell hoped in desperation that all the girls would keep quiet, and also hoped that Quistis would still be up at this late hour.

"Where are you taking us, _Dincht_?"

"Shut up."

His gloved hand hovered tentatively in the air before giving two sharp knocks to the door in front of him, which had the standard SeeD nameplate initials on. Just about to go in for another knock, the entrance to Quistis' room opened gently. The blonde instructor seemed to be fully awake, and had her glasses perched on the rim of her nose, indicating that she was probably marking essay papers; if not that, then busy to say the least.

She didn't say anything, yet opened the door wider, giving Zell (and his three captives) entry to her dorm. Once they were all inside, she walked over to a small workspace off to the right and began shuffling and tidying scattered files. By now, Zell had roughly shoved the girls, letting go of them. He wondered why Quistis wasn't firing questions at him, but then again, she always had been the reserved one. Once again, finding the silence almost unbearable, the martial artist spoke up.

"Aren't you going to ask why I'm here?"

"I know why you're here. Irvine called me around five minutes ago. He had an inkling you might come to me . . ."

Stacking the last of the work on her overcrowded bureau, she turned to face her friend. A smile showed in her clear blue eyes, yet not upon her lips. She was keeping up her Instructor attitude in front of the enemies, who were skulking like hyenas behind Zells figure. Picking up a sleek, black cell phone from the desk, Quistis delicately punched in Rinoa's number and waited patiently for an answer, whilst Zell looked on, bemused.

"Hello, Rinoa? . . . _Yes_ I'm aware of the time . . . Please come down to my room straight away . . . . . No, I'll tell you when you get here."

Putting the device back down upon the desk, she pulled out a nearby chair and placed herself upon it. "Zell, you can leave now."

"Huh? _Bu_-,"

"Zell . . . Please go. I'll catch up with you later"

"Fine," He turned to Celia, "_You'd better not try anythin'_. . ."

Quistis watched her companion leave her room, and then, sitting perfectly poised with an air of confidence emanating from her, she looked at each of the three girls in turn.

"Now all we have to do . . . is wait."

……………………………………………………..

Irvine barely waited for the ship to dock before he hurled himself down the landing ramp and set off into a fast run down the lit up street, keeping his head low. Swinging his legs out in front of him one after the other, fists balled and pumping, he felt like he'd never ran as fast in his life. Never had cause to, but now it was as if every single second that ticked by mattered. Fate would pounce on every moment lost. Barely waiting for the automated hospital doors to open, the sharpshooter burst into the reception and turned sharply to the left, in the direction of the ward that Selphie was situated. Ignoring an anxious shout of _"No running, sir!"_ he continued to speed down the vast corridor, passing a few startled looking staff and visitors along the way. Irvine stopped briefly at the door to Selphies assigned room, before placing his warm palm on the handle and turning it abruptly, causing it to swing inwards with quite a force.

He saw the small, pale form of Selphie Tilmitt stretched out on her back, still under the covers, her tiny hands lay interlaced resting on her ribcage. A fragile shell of her former self. Something was wrong. Irvine noticed the missing whirring of the machine which used to reside next to her, monitoring her heart. There was no longer a drip administering clear, concentrated liquid into a vein in her arm. Everything seemed . . . dead.

_Dead?_

Irvine was just about to walk over to Selphie and look for the steady rise and fall of her chest, when Doctor Lauder walked in and signaled him out to the familiar private waiting room. The auburn haired teen shut his eyes wanting to reopen them and find that none of this had happened at all. He opened them only to find the ones of a solemn looking Doctor staring back at him. Irvine feared the worst.

"Mr. Kinneas. I am sorry-"

_No!_

"-of the late hour I called. But I thought you'd want to be the first to know-"

_Don't say it!_

"-that Miss Tilmitt awoke from her comatose state somewhat earlier."

Irvine tried to swallow down a constricting, painful lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, before he attempted to stutter out a response.

"She . . . She's okay? _Awake?_"

The middle-aged practitioner cracked a small smile upon his thin lips, yet only for a second, followed by a slow, professional nod of his head.

"But . . . _I_ . . . when I walked in, she looked . . ."

"Yes, Miss Tilmitt's sleeping at the moment. You wouldn't have thought she'd need the rest, but, tiresome things are comas. Feel free to spend the rest of the night with her."

Irvine smiled at Doctor Lauder, who didn't seem so condemning anymore, before making his way to the adjacent room. The sharpshooter felt like he was in a hazy dream world. His emotions had been thrown around so much in the past hour that he didn't know if he should laugh or cry. He shut out the world with closure of the door and walked over to the resting girl in the bed. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice told him he should phone the others and tell them the news. But he didn't want to. He wanted to be selfish and keep her for himself; he wanted to be the only one she saw when she opened those beautiful jade eyes of hers. Irvine sat down gently beside her on the bed and took hold of her hand, noting it was warm with a new energy. The small fingers lay slightly curled in sleep, as if she were still in that own little world of hers, one that no-one could reach.

_She's back now . . ._

As Irvine stroked her soft, flushed cheeks with one hand, he wondered why he'd ever been so foolish. Why he'd ever caused her so much unnecessary heartache, when it all just could've been solved with a simple kiss and an apology. A lump formed in the back of his throat again and his violet tinged eyes became moist with tears upon realizing the reoccurring thought that this was his entire fault.

Whilst Irvine was busy with self accusations, Selphies fingers twitched experimentally, slowly curling until they became tighter; palm pushing against palm until, finally, her slim digits laced together with his.

And she was holding his hand.

Holding it with all the might she could muster in her weak state, as if to tell him without words that everything would be okay. Irvine looked down at their entwined hands that lay on the white linen of the bed. He'd spent so many days and nights holding onto a flaccid hand, getting no response in return, and now, to finally get one made him lose all previous thoughts and concentrate solely on this simple reaction.

"_Irvy . . ."_

Almost inaudible, barely a whisper but he heard it, and it made his heart rise with joy and his head feel giddy with delight upon hearing that voice he'd missed for so long. He let his eyes drift from their clasped hands and wander up to her face, still pale in itself yet no longer deathly so. Weary forest green eyes sparkled from under heavy lids which blinked slowly, but she wouldn't take them off the man beside her for a single second, not even for the sleep that her body yearned from being in such a shell-like state only hours before.

Irvine squeezed her hand and leant over Selphie, lifting her up slightly from the bed, so he could wrap his arms around her in a well overdue embrace. He felt her slim arm reach up and rest around his neck, pulling him weakly closer with a sense of urgency in the gesture. Turning his head into her neck, the sharpshooter inhaled deeply and buried his face into the soft hair that was tickling his cheek.

"Selphie . . ."

Irvine pulled back a little as he felt her head turn. He wanted to look into her eyes, those precious eyes that had been shut for what seemed like an eternity. It was then that he noticed she was smiling; a smile that reached her eyes and made them crease up slightly in that endearing manner that he adored so much. Leaning down against the delicate girl once again, he placed his lips on hers and kissed her softly. Selphie shifted a little underneath him, tightening her grip around his neck before she parted her lips in an unvoiced welcome. Irvine slipped his tongue into her mouth and caressed hers with his, keeping hold of the passion that burned deep inside the pit of his soul. After a moment or two, Selphie wriggled under the confining, white bed sheets and withdrew. She looked up at Irvine, whose face appeared flushed, no doubt due to the kiss. As she brushed strands of sleek, auburn hair out of his eyes, she wondered why he looked so close to tears.

"Irv . . . what's wrong?"

"I've missed you _so_ much. I was _so worried_, Selphie."

At his words, she appeared to sit up a little bit and look down at herself. Her green eyes didn't come back up; they stayed downcast as a gloomy wave of emotion washed over her.

"How . . . how long have I been here?"

". . . A little under three weeks . . ."

Selphie seemed to slump at his words, her rose coloured lips opened and closed as if she was going to say something, but couldn't quite find the words, so Irvine spoke instead.

"I've been here everyday, waiting for you to wake up."

The small brunette closed her eyes and took a deep breath, suddenly feeling constricted at the thought of herself having been vegetablised in the horribly vapid hospital room for 21 days. Irvine felt the fluctuation in her mood and placed a hand under her chin, lifting her head up.

"Hey, whats wrong?"

Crystalline emerald orbs focused on him from underneath worried brows.

"I . . . just wanna get _out_ of here."

"Sefie, I don't know if you're allowed yet. They might want to keep you in, just to be on the safe side."

"But I'm_ fine_. I hate hospitals you know I do."

"_Shh,_ I know, but I'll be right here."

Selphie continued looking at him, whilst catching her bottom lip in between her jaws and chewing, an unshakeable habit which she'd picked up from Zell when they were both very young.

" . . . I'm tired . . ."

"Go to sleep, I'll stay right here."

"Promise?"

"_Promise._ Just make sure you wake up this time."

Selphie smiled at Irvines ability to make jokes at even the hardest times in life. She lay back down into the plump pillow and pulled the spotless, crisp sheets up around her neck, shifting around onto her side before finally shutting her eyes.

……………………………………………………………

Once Rinoa had arrived at Quistis' slightly larger dorm room, three wooden backed chairs had been set out and placed in the middle of the living area. The blonde instructor had ordered Celia and her followers to 'sit' and surprisingly so, they had done it with no fuss at all, all the while giving wary eyed looks to each other. Rinoa stood by the entrance to the room, dressed in a pair of black jeans and one of Squalls loose white t-shirts, having obviously come from his room. She kept her brown, doe eyes on the seated girls, her face unusually stern; delicate features set in stone. Celia looked at her and Rinoa was unable to stop herself from mouthing the word _'bitch' _in her direction. The intimidating blonde contorted her face in anger and went to get up, only to be forced harshly down by a hand upon her shoulder.

"**_Stay_**."

Quistis nodded at Rinoa, who upon this signal reached over, flipping off the light switch to her right, leaving the room cloaked in darkness. Almost instantaneously, two naked bulbs each perched on a lamp base were flicked on and were placed in a position so that both shined directly onto the three girls sitting in the wooden seats. Amber flinched and raised her arm up to her face in an attempt to block out the blinding light, whilst Celia sat expressionless and Nichi tugged on her arm.

"**_Hands down by sides_**."

Rinoa watched as the weaker two did exactly what the blonde teacher said, wondering why, now, they were being so co-operational. All but one. Quistis suspected it was due to her being an Instructor and having gotten her 'strict voice' perfect for occasions such as these. The methods she was using here were tactical training techniques she had been taught in order to interrogate particularly vindictive enemies when out on missions.

"Get that _damn_ light out of my face! What's all this about!"

Quistis walked up next to Celia and bent down to her level until they were eye to eye.

"Why don't _you_ tell us?"

"**_You're crazy_**, I'm going. Come on, girls."

Celia went to stand up again, and _again_ was pushed back down, but this time with much more force. Amber and Nichi stayed in their chairs, glaring.

Rinoa appeared behind Quistis and held up her hand. She seemed to be holding a line of hessian rope, obviously not hesitating in what had to be done. Walking around behind the three, the ebony haired girl crouched and grabbed Celia's hands, pulling them callously behind the wooden backing of the chair.

"Hey, **_bitch!_** Get off, you can't do this!"

After wrapping the rope tight around the ringleader's wrists, she tied a secure knot, before looping the rope through the backs of the chairs and tying the other two's hands in a similar fashion. All the while, Rinoa had ignored Celia's venomous tongue, which still proceeded to spit vicious insults at her. It was hard for her to keep control of her temper, knowing that this was the girl who had almost driven Selphie right over the edge with her brainless taunting.

"_Untie me, you **slut!**_Instructor Trepe, she _can't _do this to me! This is harassment!"

Quistis stood close in front of Celia and looked down her nose at her.

"I thought you'd be fairly familiar with harassment, _Rosmund_."

Celia despised being addressed only by her last name; she still believed she was far too important to be spoken to in such a childlike manner. Sneering up at Quistis, fully aware she could get in trouble for a lot of things at this point; she kicked out her heeled foot, striking the instructor with quite some force in the left shin. What she was not expecting back, however, was a sharp slap to her cheek, which sent her face flying sideways and stinging with the raw contact. She blinked her heavily eye-lined eyes a few times, staring at the lack of response by her two friends.

"_Don't_ do that again, Rosmund . . ."

The supercilious bully was stunned at the fact that Quistis didn't even seem to flinch in pain after she delivered that rather firm kick her way. Unbeknownst to her, the fair haired tutor had junctioned all her defensive magic along with each of her guardian force's, making her twice as strong, which meant Celia's kick seemed more like a harsh tap. Off to her side, Amber appeared to be struggling with the bonds around her wrist. Rinoa bent down, taking the rope and pulling it into a tighter knot so it was visibly pressing agonizingly into the tanned girls' skin.

"Ow! You _fucking_ **_bitch_**. _Loosen it,_ it's hurting!"

"I'll only tighten it if you continue calling me horrid names like that."

"_Why are you _doing _this!_"

At this point Quistis stepped in, the intense light in the room casting eerie sharp, shadows upon her unyielding face.

"Perhaps you can answer that for yourself."

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about. All of you do. Perhaps a certain girl laying in a coma will trigger your memory."

"We had nothing to do with that."

As Quistis continued trying to pry answers out of the three girls, Rinoa stood by the door with her arms hidden behind her back, fiddling with the small black object she held in her clasped hands. She thumbed the record button on the hand-held tape recorder just in case Celia was to blurt out any damning evidence.

"Are you going to admit to bullying Selphie Tilmitt?"

Silence.

"_Was it_ or _was it not_ you who beat her unconscious on the night of the dance?"

More silence. Quistis could see that she was getting nowhere particularly fast, so she shut her eyes and connected with that dark space deep inside her mind, scanning for a low level poison magic. As she lifted her hand and held it in front of the bitchy blondes face, she mumbled the word _'bio'_, inflicting her with the slow working toxin. Celia coughed and doubled over as much as one could when tied to a chair; she knew what Quistis had done and realized how foolish she herself had been to un-equip all her defense magic before she went out for the night.

From her position at the side, Rinoa found herself watching Nichi carefully. Her oddly pale blue eyes had taken on a glazed look, which informed the dark haired girl that she was searching for a cure or esuna inside her head. Closing her eyes, just as her friend had done, the sorceress cast silence on both Amber and Nichi, ensuring they wouldn't foil the plan by helping their uncaring friend out.

Celia coughed again but sat back in the seat and struggled to hold herself upright. A light sheen of sweat had started up upon her bronzed skin, showing just how hard it was to keep herself from breaking. She could feel herself becoming nauseous and faint as the toxin ran its way through her veins and into her system. Being poisoned was not a pleasant experience, as she knew from previous encounters with the spell, yet she tried not to look bothered as she attempted to look her Instructor in the eye without faltering. She kept it up for a full five minutes before weakening and slouching forward in the same position as before. Meanwhile, Quistis kept on staring and Rinoa kept the tape recording. The silence in the room was broken by Celia heaving in gasps of air. She was shaking uncontrollably now and feeling as if her insides were being shifted upside down and turned inside out. She knew the spell would wear out in fifteen minutes, but she had little faith she could hold out that long.

"P . . . _please_ . . ."

Quistis folded her arms across her chest and looked down upon the hunched girl.

"Please what?"

"_Esuna . . . I need _. . ."

"Not until you tell us what you did, _Celia Rosmund_-," the Instructor turned her gaze on Amber and Nichi, "- and _you two_ as well."

Celia still kept silent, not particularly keen on admitting what she had done. Her vision was going slightly blurred, taking on an underwater effect, as had her sound recognition, so she didn't hear Quistis command another Bio on her. She felt it though. Crippling pain spun through her body until she was almost sure she was going to die; and this scared her more than any confession ever would.

" . . . I . . . _We_ . . . put her in . . . _a coma_ . . ."

"Loud and Clear now, Miss Rosmund."

"_**WE** **put Selphie . . . in a coma**_ "

"And?"

"_Please_ . . . It hurts . . ."

"**_AND?_**"

"And . . . we beat her up . . . _a lot._ And teased her . . ."

"What about you two, were you involved thoroughly?"

Amber and Nichi both said yes without any wavering, watching their friend in agony petrified them; they certainly didn't want that to become of them. Quistis nodded to Rinoa, who shut her eyes and cast Esuna on Celia, allowing the magic to seep from her mind, before pressing the stop button on the tape behind her back.

Amber held her head up, still looking scared but holding a smug tone in her high voice.

"You can't prove _anything,_ this whole thing was fruitless."

The dark haired sorceress kept her hands behind her and walked towards the three chairs in the centre of the room.

"That's where you're wrong . . ."

Slowly, she brought the small, portable recorder out from its hidden confines and shook it gently in the air, as if proving a point.

"We have it _all _on this little thing here, and _guess what_? Cid's getting it as soon as the sun rises in the morning."

All three girls' heads turned to look at Quistis, waiting for her to confirm this.

"It's true."

Rinoa smiled and hopped a little as she felt butterflies start up in her stomach for her friend.

"Looks like justice _has _been served after all, girls."

Quistis flicked open her penknife and cut the bullies free from the rope binds, before ordering them to get up and pushing them one by one out of the door, none to gently.

Just as they had gone, the pager in Rinoa's pocket set off a vibrating alarm, signaling a received message.

**_Rin, just got call from Irv. Sef's awake! Meet at front in 5 mins._**

_**Zell.**_

The fair skinned girl braced herself against the wall, keeping one hand on it for leverage. She read the message again and again and smiled to herself, breathing numerous sighs of relief, hardly being able to believe to good news.

_Sef's awake! Selphies awake! _

"Rinoa? Are you quite alright?"

Quistis' voice broke through her thoughts and she looked up into two worried looking cerulean eyes lined with long, dark lashes. She found herself so happy that it was hard for her to get her voice immediately.

"_Rinoa?_"

"Selphie . . . _she's awake_! She's gonna be fine!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

**A/N_: Okay, so I know half of you were hoping that something extremely terrible happened to Celia and her group, but . . . ultra violence just didn't seem to fit. I think I'm too much of a soppy writer . . . I've said this before, but only a few more chapters left to go, folks. Really. Thanks for all your reviews, my ego is ever growing _**


	32. I Promise

'_You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.'_

"So . . . when's she allowed to come back to Balamb?"

"Zell, Irvine_ told_ you he didn't know. Why's he gonna know five minutes later?"

The blonde haired boy let out a whine and stared at Rinoa with narrowed blue eyes, before continuing the slight spring to his stance; a sign of his impatient nature.

As soon as Rinoa had received the message on her pager, she had gone with Quistis to prod awake a surly Squall (who would've much rather stayed wrapped in his cocoon of warm sheets) and then proceeded to rush to the front gate, where they found a fervent Zell shadow boxing and bouncing on the balls of his feet. The four had taken a SeeD boat from the harbour, quick thinking on Quistis's part, for she had taken the right set of keys from a locker in the faculty room. When they arrived at the hospital, Irvine was slouching in his chair, looking at the small, sleeping form upon the bed with weary eyes.

"So, Irvine? She's definitely awake_, like,_ for good?"

"Yes Zell."

"And she won't not _not_ wake up?"

"_No_ Zell."

"She's absolutely fine?"

"Yes Zell."

"Oh and she's-,"

"**_Zell,_** just shut the hell up . . . please."

The martial artist looked like a scolded puppy at his friend's sudden outburst and felt Quistis' soft hand rest on his left arm, calming his anger ahead of it appearing, before she whispered, "He's had a rough month; he doesn't mean to snap."

A movement under the crisp, white sheets caught everyone's eye. Selphie turned over from her side onto her back, stretching a little as she went. The hand that Irvine was holding wriggled out of his grasp as she lifted it into the air and proceeded to rub her eyes. Letting out a stifled yawn and slipping her hand back into the sharpshooters, she let her eyes open unhurriedly, blinking a few times before they rested on a blonde crest of hair. Selphie barely had time to blink before Zell rushed at her and bounced onto the bed, giving her a hug as best he could with her in a laying position. After a moment or two of startled apprehension, she placed her arms around her friend and gave him a squeeze, inhaling the familiar scent of his hair products.

"_I'm so glad you woke up!_"

"We all are," Rinoa stepped closer to the bed, her hand slipping from Squalls as she moved toward her friend. "It's not much fun without you around." At this comment, she met a few disgruntled stares from her other friends, which she seemed oblivious to, or rather, chose to ignore. The ebony haired girl joined in the two person huddle on the bed, leaving all but the top of Selphies head showing.

"Hey, I need some air . . ."

She scowled inwardly at the way her voice sounded so feeble; didn't want her friends to hear or see her like this, she'd always been strong around them and felt somewhat disappointed in herself for winding up in a hospital bed. Selphie lightly pushed Rinoa and Zell away before letting out a tiny sigh that could've easily been mistaken for a breath, yet Irvine noticed and wondered what it was that was still weighing so heavily on her mind. Then he realised that waking up from a beaten induced coma was hardly first choice on anyone's list. Quistis placed a medium sized, black duffle bag onto the empty seat across from the one beside the bed, causing the sharpshooter to wonder stupidly what was inside.

"I brought some clothes from you're dorm for you to change into," the blonde instructor spoke, "I didn't know what to bring, but _anything's_ better than those standard issue gowns." She made a distasteful face, hardly a fan of hospital fashion.

"How did you get into my dorm?"

"Oh, well, Cid loaned me a master key card that opens every dorm in the whole of Garden. I hope you don't mind."

"No . . ."

Selphie glanced at the bag, suddenly getting another overwhelming sense of claustrophobia blanketing her body. Abruptly, she kicked the white sheets away from her body and sat up fast; perhaps a little too fast as the sudden movement caused a rush of blood to her head, her vision doubling until she shut her eyes tight and waited for it to settle down. She felt Irvine grip her hand, somehow knowing without seeing that it was his concerned touch she felt on her skin.

"Irvine, I really do need some air. _Fresh_ air. Can we go outside for a bit?"

"Well, I'm not sure if the Doct-,"

"_Screw the bloody doctor!_"

"Okay, okay, but it's pretty cold out there."

Turning away from Irvine she asked Quistis, "Would you guys wait in here for a bit? Or maybe the hospital cafeteria's open-,"

"At 3 in the morning Sef?" Zell sniggered at his friend, much to her annoyance.

"Oh shut up. I love you all but please; just go away for a bit. I need some time with Irv."

As Squall and Quistis ushered a complaining Rinoa and Zell out of the room, Selphie slipped carefully out of her bed, wincing when she placed her dainty, bare feet upon the cold tiled floor. Reaching around and placing her hands either side of her infirmary gown, she went to tug it up over her head, stopping just in time when she realised Irvine was still present _and_ watching her with a keen interest.

"Can you . . . turn around or something?"

"Or _something?_" A mischievous glint filled his indigo fused eyes.

Selphie wanted to appear serious and annoyed, not wanting to encourage his flirtatious nature, yet couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face. Irvine shut his eyes and clamped his hands over them, but couldn't shake off the feeling that he was peeping. She didn't want to hassle him any further, so simply turned her back to him, shrugging off the hideous robe quickly and rooting around inside the black duffle bag Quistis had placed nearby. Hastily, she wrapped her fingers around something warm and soft, pulling out a dark green mohair jumper with a draping cowl neck. Cursing silently to herself that Quistis didn't appear to have packed her a bra or any knickers, she pulled the thin material jumper on over her head, tugging slightly when the label got caught in her hair. Sitting half naked on a bed which Irvine was only a few feet away from got her nerves jangling, so she looked around at him, certain she'd see his eyes open and a big grin plastered across his face. However, his gloveless hands were still placed over his eyes (whether they were shut underneath or not) and his face seemed somewhat expressionless. Frowning to herself, Selphie dragged out a pair of black jogging trousers and white trainers that she hadn't seen for a while.

_Why did she pack these? **These!** Of all things . . . When I stuff things at the back of my wardrobe, it means I don't WEAR them anymore, Quistis . . ._

Glancing back around warily at the sharpshooter sitting opposite, she slithered onto the floor with the sheet wrapped around her unclothed waist, taking the trousers with her.

_Now the beds in the way, he won't see anything._

Crouching and trying to get into a pair of jogging bottoms proved to be a challenging feat. Selphie had almost got them up when she fell backwards, having been perched on one foot, and knocked her elbow against a wooden cabinet.

"Oww!"

She heard the scraping of a chair and panicked.

"Are you okay, Sef?"

"Don't get up, _don't get up!_ Sit down! Shut your eyes! _I'm fine!_"

Irvine laughed, half tempted to look over the bed and see why, exactly, she was on the floor and in what state of apparel she was in.

Huffing loudly, Selphie tugged the trousers on the rest of the way, impatient with her clumsy nature, got up and slipped the worn out trainers onto her small feet.

"You can look now."

Irvine opened his eyes, still sniggering, "Quistis didn't pack you a bra then?"

_How does he . . .?_ Gazing down at herself, she realised that it _was_ rather cold in the room. Quickly crossing her arms about her chest, she glared at Irvine, trying to muster up one of the most evil stares of the decade.

"Let's go outside then, butterfly."

Selphie melted inwardly at all the pet names he had made up for her, and felt rather privileged. After all, he didn't call anyone else _butterfly_, or _sunshine_, or _babe_. It might've sounded corny to others, but she loved the new found attention he lavished on her. She just hoped it was here to stay this time. Irvine saw the distant look in the brunettes bottle green eyes as his hand found hers in a tight embrace. They walked in silence to the front of the hospital, the reception nurse not even giving them a second glance when they went through the automated double doors and out into the open.

The night was cold and biting, yet the sky was free of rain clouds and freckled with bright, blinking stars. When Irvine stopped, Selphie continued onwards, not letting go of his hand but dragging him forwards with a slight tug.

"I want to sit by the docks."

A good ten minutes away from the vivid lights of the hospital, she found herself staring up at the dark, obsidian sky, trying to count the stars littered there in a childish, naïve way. The sharpshooter beside her could see the tiny specks of light reflected in her eyes and stood mesmerized, still coming to terms with the fact that she was awake and right beside him. Selphie leaned into Irvine, still looking up to the heavens, concentrating on the faint, tiny stars in between the brighter ones. She had always thought you found the more hidden ones that way, and it felt more secret, like you were looking at stars that hadn't been discovered and perhaps had been put there only for you. At that moment, the small brunette spoke in a quiet voice.

"_Irv_ . . . do you remember?"

He wrapped both of his arms around her form and pulled her closer against him, resting his head in the crook of her neck.

"Hm?"

"Do you remember . . . back at the orphanage, we used to sit like this for hours in the early evening, staring up at the sky."

"We used to wait for shootin' stars. One night, we saw three in a row."

"Mm. I remember when you'd been adopted, I sat down by the beach, still looking up and wondering if you were looking at the same part of the sky."

"Funny, I used to do the same thing."

"Then there was that day, when you came back to visit. Only Squall, Seifer and I were left by then. No one wanted us; matron put it down the fact that we were stubborn in our own different ways-,"

"You're _still_ stubborn. All of you."

Selphie dug her elbow into him slightly, hard enough to elicit a small intake of breath.

"Anyway, we stood just like this, watching the stars like we used to. Mind you, I can't remember a certain _body part_ sticking into my lower back then."

Irvine could feel his cheeks warm by way of embarrassment, a contrast to the rest of his face which was rather cold. He huffed out a small laugh into her neck, disturbing the chesnut brown locks which were resting there. The tickling movement caused a giggle to start in the girl's throat, and then they were both in fits for reasons of their own. Selphie felt better, being out in the air, despite its icy temperature; felt better for being with the auburn haired man and felt better for laughing away her minds miserable cobwebs.

"Do you think the Doctor is still about?"

"Maybe, why?"

"Well, I was just wondering if he'd let me go back to Balamb with you in the morning."

"No harm in askin'. Don't get you're hopes up too high, though"

Selphie took one long glance at the sky before turning back to Irvine and announcing that they should probably go back in now, though he saw a hint of reluctance in her eyes. Without warning, he stepped in front of her and placed his arms securely around her hips, cuddling her up against his chest. The small form in his arms responded almost immediately in the same manor, her head nestling into him in a way of comfort.

"Everything's goin' to be fine now, Sefie, _I promise_."

…………………………………………………………

"So, she _CAN _come home?"

"Yes, that-,"

"Like, _NOW?_"

"_Please Mr Dincht_, I would appreciate it if you lowered you're voice, for the benefits of the patients in-,"

"_WOO!_ Selphies coming back baby!"

Quistis kicked Zell in the shin with her particularly lethal high heels she had chosen to wear last night before they made their way to the hospital, leaving a highly hyperactive Zell clutching his leg and gritting his teeth in her direction.

"Thank you Doctor Lauder. As her friend and Instructor, I'll make sure personally that she doesn't overdo it."

"Yes, quite, plus no strenuous missions for a while. Her body is still getting back to terms with itself. She does need to exercise for a small amount of time each day for a week, to get her muscles used to activity again. After that, she can train as normal. I've told Miss Tilmitt all this herself, but would prefer if someone older knew as well."

"I'm only _one_ year older, Doctor."

"That may be so, but I can see you're the responsible one." As he said this, the overweight practitioner gave a distasteful look in Zells direction, who was still concentrating on his weakened leg, much thanks to Quistis.

"Thank you very much for all your help, we'll be in contact if need be."

The collection of friends made their way out of the hospital and towards a waiting Irvine and Selphie beside the SeeD vessel still parked at the quay from the previous night. It was early morning, the sun not yet at its highest and the breeze in the air still harbouring a biting, icy quality. With the swift movement of a press of a button, the electronic entrance to the watercraft hissed open, bumping smoothly back on its hinges. Once inside, Selphie took one long glance at the modern hospital building she was leaving overseas and hoped silently to herself that she wouldn't be returning anytime soon.

…………………………………………………………..

"Did you see everyone looking?"

"Hmm?"

Selphie curled her knees up to her chest and hugged her arms around them.

"Everyone was staring at me when we walked through the dorm hallway."

"No they weren't."

"_And_ whispering . . ."

"Nahhhhh."

"_AND_ giggling. Even the people that I worked with on the festival committee. Why? Do I look funny?"

"Well . . ." Zell ducked the pillow that Selphie had aimed for his face, which now held a cheeky smile, distorting his tattooed cheek. The brunette sunk back into her bed and pulled her favourite toy penguin closer to her heart. It was late evening and she hadn't been alone once. Irvine and Zell had sat in her dorm ever since her arrival in the morning, laughing and joking together. Apart from now, Irvine had excused himself, flitting off out of the door rather quickly once realising the time. He hadn't so much as given Selphie a reason as to why or _where_ he was going, just a quick peck on the cheek and a _'See you later love' _was all she got. That was half an hour ago and she had tried not to let her mind runaway with stupid, suspicious questions. The green eyed girl looked down at her blonde friend, who was currently sitting on the floor of her room and playing with a Mr Potato head toy in rather child-like awe of the fiddly item. He'd brought it for her himself a couple of years ago before they barely knew each other. After that, she had suspected he might've been harbouring some innocent crush, but thought nothing of it when they became the closest of friends some time later. In an attempt to get her mind off the whereabouts of Irvine, a question slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it.

"Did you ever fancy me?"

The instant she heard her own voice, her face turned a shade of pink, lighting up her cheeks with embarrassment at herself. Meanwhile, the martial artist sitting crossed-legged on the carpet continued fiddling with the items included with the little toy.

"Fancy?"

"Well . . . oh _never mind_. Shall we put a video on or something?" She tried to change the subject as heat burned upon her features.

"Yeah."

Selphie bounced off her bed and sat at the edge, leaning over to pull out her video compartment that lived underneath her divan, amongst the dust and various odd hair bobbles.

"Okay, what do you want, I've got-,"

"No, I meant _yeah_, I did used to fancy you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. The first time was way back in the orphanage, then again when I next met you here . . . but that only lasted for a little while. You were in Irvine's territory, therefore_ his_ property, everyone knew that."

The brunette frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, disliking Zells use of words.

"I was not _'Irvine's property'!_ I didn't even _know_ him when I transferred!"

"Hmm."

"So, what was the deal with Mr Potato head?"

"I bought you him back then, because I liked him and thought we could play together."

Selphie began to laugh behind her hand, desperately trying to stop herself, knowing that Zell was extremely sensitive when it came to girls and dating. He noticed her stifled attempts even before she had started making little snickering noises, so got up from his position and sat on her lap, deftly crushing her.

"I won't move until you stop laughin' at me, Miss Tilmitt."

"But . . . you're _heavy!_" The petite girl was indeed being compressed by having a short yet rather heavy martial artist perched haphazardly on her legs, making her temporarily immobile.

Giving three little bounces, Zell finally let off, managing to ignore the fact that his friend was still having a laugh at his expense. He knew he was clueless when it came to girls and how to draw them in, he didn't need anyone rubbing it in.

It was after Selphie had calmed down that she breached the subject of why Irvine had gone rushing off in such a hurry. It was up to Zell to have to come up with excuses . . .

………………………………………………………..

Quistis' high heeled boots let off a reverberating clacking noise as she made her way down the second floor corridor and towards the elevator. She was on her way to Cid Kramers office, having dropped of the much cosseted confession tape earlier in the day, just as Selphie had been seen safely to her dorm. Currently, she had not been called via phone, pager or intercom up to see the Headmaster, so thought it best to take things into her own hands and pay him a visit herself. After all, he had been known as a rather forgetful man now that he was getting on in life and happened to brush the most important things aside without realising it. Quistis was never one to worry herself, yet she found her pulse skipping and her hands growing clammy. She was aware that Cid was a gentle soul, and had been a worthy father figure to her in the past but he was also a very fair man and would not overlook her part in the evidence letting. Smoothing her dress free of imaginary creases, she raised a hand to knock upon the double oak door to his headquarters. Before she got a chance however, it swung open and a young dark haired girl, visibly a junior student, scurried out holding some sort of pamphlet in her hands. Quistis watched her scuttle down the hallway, before stepping in through Cids door. Despite her earlier worries, she was greeted with a warm smile from the older man as she sat down opposite him on one of the plush chairs inhabiting the room.

"Hello Quistis, what is it I can do for you?"

"Well, it's about the tape I sent in earlier . . . have you-,"

"Ah yes," His mood seemed to darken somewhat as he leaned forward, "We shall have to talk about that. I've listened to it, in private you understand, and I've also read through the scripture you printed out."

"I'm aware that I was also in the wrong, but Selphies a dear friend and I _couldn't _just let them-,"

Cid held up a hand, signalling Quistis to calm down and be silenced. She took a deep breath and slumped back in her seat; the perfect poise she usually took on completely forgotten.

"What happened was a very serious matter-,"

"I'm really, very sorry."

"Not what you did, although that could be considered dire in itself, I'm talking about what those three girls did to poor Selphie. All this was taking place in my own Garden, right under my own nose. I feel appalled at myself for not taking more notice."

"Please don't. None of us knew until it was too late. Selphie has a habit of keeping things to herself so as to appear cheerful to the outside world."

"How is she?"

"She's not on top of the world, but she's managing."

"She'll be fine in no time if she has friends as fine as you nearby."

Quistis smiled slightly, recognising the complement in his words.

"If you don't mind me asking . . . do you have an apt punishment planned for the three? And well … I don't expect _myself_ to get off free, I understand what I did was wrong too."

"I think it's fair to for me to add one red warning to your Instructor's card. Bear in mind that if this reaches the limit of three, you will lose your license and permission to teach at Balamb Garden."

"Yes, Sir."

"No need for formalities, Quistis! As for the others, I think I'll intercom them up now and tell them face to face. That's fair."

Quistis shuffled around rather unceremoniously on her feet, an uneasy feeling growing in the pit of her stomach upon hearing Cid speak with authority into the small microphone on his desk. She sat herself down upon one of the maroon velveteen chairs in the room, crossed one leg over the other and kept her hands busy by smoothing out her skirt across her knees. The shrill arrival noise of the elevator ping echoed down into the office shortly followed by a multiple clacking of heels and a squeaking of hinges as the oaken door was pushed open. All three girls strolled in together, Celia had a look of defiance on her face but the other two were looking a little more sheepish with signs of worries crossing their brows. Cid stood up from behind his desk and walked around to the front, his arms held behind his back with his hands clasped.

"State your names and candidate numbers."

"Celia Rosmund, SeeD 304."

"Nichi Dumont, SeeD 143."

"Amber Powell, SeeD 639."

"I trust you know why you're all here in my office?"

Celia turned her head slowly and looked with stone cold eyes at the blonde Instructor in the room. Although Quistis tried not to let it show, something about the glare made her feel unsafe being in the same place as this malicious girl. She couldn't understand how someone could act so heartless to a person and not feel any guilt over their actions.

When no one replied to the headmaster's question, he retrieved the small tape player from behind his bureau and pressed play.

"Sir, that's _obviously_ not us! You must be a senile old fool to believe _that_."

Ignoring Celia's rude comment, the older man turned to Amber who he considered to be the most likely to give information going by the distraught look on her features.

"Is this tape real? Did you all admit to bullying and rendering unconscious a fellow student? _Remember_, lies only make the situation worse."

Amber could feel her friend's eyes burning into her, begging her not to tell him anything, but the extreme pressure she was being put under caused her to bend and break.

"It was us."

"You will be justly punished for this. You have violated several of Gardens disciplinary codes which I'm afraid will consequent in a harsh reprimand. Celia Rosmund, you are being expelled from Balamb Garden and all surrounding Gardens. A permanent mark will be put on your SeeD record, which will make it hard for you to get training and missions. You have forty-eight hours to vacate the premises. We do not tolerate incidents of this kind."

Celia let her steely gaze drop down to the floor slowly before she raised them again, full of anger.

"**_You can't do that!_** _What will my _parents_ say!_ _My dad will sue you_."

"Don't worry, your parents will be _fully_ aware of the situation by the time you're gone. Please do not threaten me Miss Rosmund, or I will have the garden faculty escort you out."

"This is _unfair!_"

"I would say it's a justifiable penalty. I have also signed you into a Rehabilitation centre in the fields of Winhill for six months. You can sort out any problems you have there-"

"**Problems!** I don't have **_problems._** Shouldn't you be sending that _cow_ Tilmitt there? **_She's the one who tried to kill herself!_**"

Quistis stood up and rested her hands on her hips. "And why was _that_ I wonder? You made her life a living hell. Don't you even have one shred of decency in you? The world would be a far better place without people like _you_ in it!"

Celia was just about to counteract when two robed faculty members stepped in through the door. Cid motioned to them, "Please take Miss Rosmund to her dormitory and monitor her until she leaves."

"I don't _believe_ this!" As the two authoritarians went to take hold of her wrists, she shrugged them away violently. "**_Don't touch me_**; I can take myself out of this _shit hole!_"

Although it was unlike her, Quistis couldn't help shooting the blonde girl a smug smile of satisfaction. Her attention was taken back to the other two girls when Cid spoke up. They were watching their friend with worry and fear written in their eyes.

"Amber Powell and Nichi Dumont, I do not believe you played as great a role in this as Celia Rosmund did. Instructor Trepe informed me of her leadership in your little . . . posse. You will both be transferred to different Gardens,_ separate_ from each other. You are also signed up for a rehabilitation program, in different centres, lasting for three months to help you overcome any problems you may have. A permanent red mark will go on your student record, which differs from your SeeD record, but is still serious none-the-less."

The two girls nodded their heads in unison, trying to make sense of all that had happened in the past half an hour.

"How long do we have before we're transferred and which Gardens are we going to?" Amber asked in a quiet voice.

"You will be transferring back to your old garden, Galbadia. Nichi, you will be going to Trabia Garden and you'll both be escorted to your destinations in forty-eight hours via SeeD vehicles. It'll be a shame to see you go; I had a lot of hope instilled into you two. Anyway, that's the past now, you are dismissed."

Nichi, looking rather lost in her own confident way, turned without a word and walked out of the room, slamming the door. Amber however gave a little smile to Cid and Quistis.

" . . . I'm sorry."

"We're sorry too; sorry that it had to come to this."

The fair haired girl pouted her lips a little in disappointed manner before she too spun on her heels and walked to the exit, shortly followed by her Instructor who was on her way to tell her brunette friend the good news. . .

…………………………………………………….

**_A/n: Only one more chapter left and possibly an epilogue. Thanks for reading!_**


	33. To Be Loved

'_There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest . . .'_

The rest of the evening had been rather uneventful for Selphie. She had stayed in her dorm room chatting to Zell about nothing in particular until Quistis had come in and told them both the consequences of the despised group. After that, her two friends had left her to gather her thoughts, due to it being rather late and far past curfew. Zell hadn't wanted to be caught out of his room by Seifer or any other disciplinary committee member. He didn't say this directly, but Selphie knew that was the sudden reason he had rushed out almost immediately after looking at the wall clock. The blonde fighter would never admit it, but he hated any sort of confrontation with the older boy, because he'd always come out of it with hurt pride.

The brunette youth turned over onto her side, loosening the warm bed covers about her body, so they didn't get twisted and tangled each time she changed position. She couldn't get out of her restless state, so had decided to just lie in her bed, listening to the light summer rain tapping down like fingertips upon her window. Not even the relaxing sound of the night's elements could lull her into the security of sleep. All the days' events had caught up with her, but not in a way that made her tired; in a way that made her body want to react the complete opposite, with boundless energy. Perhaps it had something to do with her having lain still for so long whilst she was in her comatose state, although her subconscious mind would've known nothing about this. She began to wonder why Irvine hadn't come back to her that evening, to hold her or give her a kiss before the night fell. Her mind began whirring again with stupid, irrational thoughts that she knew were far from the truth, but couldn't help speculate anyway. Selphie frowned and tutted at herself, turning over onto her opposite side, bouncing with the sway of the bed beneath her. Changing her train of though drastically, she began to ponder why Rinoa had planned a day out for them, starting early morning the next day. She'd had that strange glint in her brown doe eyes when she'd asked, more told, Selphie she was coming out into town with her. Selphie had seen it before, often when she was keeping a secret (something the young sorceress wasn't renowned for) or when she felt guilty about something or other. All the thinking done whilst remaining inactive was finally lulling the brunette girl into a light yet peaceful slumber that her body was unknowingly aching for.

-------------------------------------------------------

"You look a bit down in the dumps this morning, everything okay?

"Yeah Rin, I'm fine."

"Are you _sure?_"

"Yep."

"_Sure?_"

"Yes!"

The two of them were sat on an outside table in a small, warm looking café in one of the lanes of Balamb town. Rinoa placed her hands around her clear glass cup, half full up with ice cream soda and lowered her head, peering up at her brunette friend who was currently hiding behind her fringe. Selphie met her coffee coloured eyes with a grave look, not even offering a smile.

"Come on! What is it? I can tell_ something's_ up, you know!"

"Irvine."

Rinoa wrinkled her nose, already thinking of excuses to make on the cowboys behalf.

"What about him?"

"He didn't come back to see me last night, or this morning in fact. I'm just a little sad I guess. Makes me wonder what else he had to do that was so important-,"

"_OH _Sef, don't start that negative thinking! Maybe he was . . ."

_Think, think, think!_

Her friend looked at her with hopeful, jade green eyes, a corona of sunlight shimmering behind her, making the rest of her face little more than a silhouette.

"He was . . . lending . . ._ errr_ . . . a hand to Squall. Yeah that's what he was doing! Oh I remember now! Squall asked him for help with some paperwork thingy. . ."

_She's not buying it, change the subject!_

"_Right!_ You can't be miserable all day, its shopping time! Come on you."

"But I haven't finished my hot chocol-,"

"That doesn't matter! We'll get another one later."

Rinoa grabbed hold of Selphies hand which was resting on her knee and yanked her up none to gently out of her chair, before leaving a tip on the table and walking out of the picket fence surrounded garden of the café which they had been seated in.

"I want to go into that little boutique again. The one that sells all the pretty dresses and bolero shrugs."

"But why?"

"Because, Selphie, a girl can _never_ have too many pretty things!"

As Rinoa pushed the door open to the shop, a little bell sounded above in a sweet peal, signalling to the same posh old woman that served them before that a new customer had stepped inside. The raven haired girl paid no attention to her as she began browsing through the various, pretty dresses that were hanging on the rails whilst Selphie just stood there looking puzzled by her friends behaviour.

"This is great, isn't it? It'd look fabulous on you!"

"I don't need it."

"Try it on . . . _please?_"

Selphie crossed her arms over her chest and let out a small, tired sigh.

"But why? I don't need a dress like that."

Rinoa traipsed over to where the petite brunette stood and flopped her head over the girl's shoulder, looking up at her with a pout on her rose petal lips and a wide eyed innocence in her glittering orbs. Selphie felt a smile crawling onto her lips, due to the puppy-dog expression pasted on Rinoa's face.

"That might work with Squall, but not m-,"

"Pleeease try it on. _Pleeeeease?_ I'll try one too! Come on, we used to do this all the time…"

"Okay then, but I'm not buying it," Selphie answered, lowering her voice so the aristocratic old woman behind the counter wouldn't hear her disinterest in purchasing.

Rinoa gave out a little squeal and shoved the yellow tulle dress into the open arms in front of her.

"I'll just pick out a dress, you go change . . ."

The young sorceress waited for the cubicle curtain of which Selphie had gone in to pull shut, before walking over to the front counter and waiting for the manageress to notice her.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Yes, I put a dress by in a size small the other day, its cream with spaghetti crossover straps and a bow at the back that wraps around the waist."

Rinoa tapped her fingers tersely on the varnished wooden desk, leaning over and peering round the back where the lady had vanished only a few seconds before. She came out, peering down her black framed glasses which were perched upon a pointy nose and glared at Rinoa, holding the much cosseted dress in her arms.

"This is pure Estharian silk, be careful with it. If you mark it in _any_ way, you'll have to buy it."

"I intend to anyway . . ."

When Rinoa had turned her back, she stuck her tongue out and mumbled something closely resembling _'old bag'_ under her breath, possibly a bit too loud, as the shopkeeper kept her beady eyes on her figure all the way into the changing rooms.

"_Rin?_ I'm done putting it on"

"I'm in the cubicle next to you, just come in, I'm decent!"

Selphie drew back her curtain and stepped through into where her friend resided, currently slipping a cream satiny dress over her head and down her body before letting her eyes rest on the brunette in front of her.

"You look _adorable!_ It fits you perfectly!"

Selphie looked past Rinoa's shoulder and into the mirror ahead of her, gazing at the reflection. Staring back was a small girl with a bodice hugging dress upon her form, skimming her curves and flattering in just the right, feminine kind of way all outfits should. She ran her hands lightly over her stomach, where the material seemed softer than anywhere else on the garment and inspected the delicate tulle that reached down to her knees, flared and large like a ballerina's tutu.

"It _is_ lovely . . . and it feel's great."

"I'm buying it for you then!"

Selphie looked away from her reflection and gazed at her friend, who was standing with her hands behind her back, fiddling with the awkward cross over straps of the dress she had decided to put on.

"Rinoa, I don't need anything like this."

"That doesn't matter! It makes you feel good, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, but-,"

"Selphie, you've been through _so_ much lately and your last pretty dress got ruined, please, just let me buy this for you?"

" . . . Okay then."

Rinoa smiled, that same mischievous glint showing up in her large russet eyes before she slid the curtain to her cubicle shut.

----------------------------------------------------

Rustling, hushed male voices and much commotion could be heard from inside Irvine's room as Selphie gave another two quick knocks to door, sure that whoever was inside couldn't have heard the earlier, softer taps she had given. She waited patiently outside for a reply, which came five seconds later, in the form of a startled looking cowboy.

"Selphie! Hey . . ."

As she stepped inside and the door slid shut, Irvine leaned in swiftly and wrapped his arms about her body, bringing her into him in a tight hug before turning his head around and making sure Zell had tidied up any damning evidence. Selphie returned the hug, looking over Irvine's shoulder, fully suspicious of the sheepish look her blonde friend currently had on his face. As soon as she had been released from the encasing hug, she looked around the room for any signs of just what that rustling could have been.

"What are you two up to?"

"Us? _Nothin'!_" Whilst replying, Zell noticed the edge of the photographs that Irvine had been showing him sticking out from under the bed. Quickly, he shot his foot out, knocking them out of sight, not wanting Selphie to catch onto their ideas.

"What was all that noise?"

"What noise?"

"When I knocked-,"

"Selphie, _I love you_ to pieces, I _really_ do, but Zell and I need to . . . sort out some essay work. So . . . go and do whatever it is you find to do with Rinoa."

Selphie felt a pang of sadness at Irvine's tone of voice, but told herself not to kick up a fuss or demand to know what was going on. She was still feeling emotionally vulnerable and a little lethargic and just wanted to be with the man who'd watched over her in hospital. Ironically, also the same man who had caused most, if not all, of her troubles already.

_Don't start thinking about that, stupid._

Zell noticed the vague look of disappointment on her face, and with all she'd been through, couldn't bear to let her down or see her looking even the slightest bit sad. The blonde fighter turned to Irvine just as Selphie was walking out of the door, and told him he'd be back in a minute.

"Yo, _Selphie_, wait up!"

"Shouldn't you be with Irvine, doing _essay work?_"

Zell reached up with his right arm and ran a hand uncomfortably through the back of his spiky, sun kissed hair, still walking slowly beside his friend.

"_Urh_ . . . I'll . . . do it later. Where are you goin'?"

"Back to Rinoa's dorm I suppose. Even though I've spent most of the afternoon with her."

"I'd be either deaf or brain dead by now if I spent that much time with her."

"Zell, you're _already_ brain-dead."

"_Hey!_ I got feelings too, y'know!"

Selphie turned to him and smiled before linking her arm through his, her deep viridian eyes meeting his sparkling blues with an intent look.

"Sef . . ."

"What?"

"Are you alright? You looked a little . . . I dunno . . . _upset_ back there."

The young brunette stopped walking steadily, causing her companion behind her to halt as well, the arm through his holding him back.

"I'm not sure. Irvine seemed a bit off with me."

"No! _No no no_. You heard him. He love's ya to death! We've just . . got some stuff to sort out, _yeah?_"

Selphie nodded yet tore her eyes away from her friends and gazed downwardly onto the floor, a dejected expression finding its way onto her delicate features.

"I just . . . _Never mind_."

"You can tell me."

"I . . . just don't want him to suddenly turn around one day and decide he doesn't like me. I don't think I could handle that again."

"He's not goin' to do that, okay?"

"'_kay_."

"And if he _does_ try anythin' of the sort, we'll feed him to the T-Rexuars!"

Zell always could evoke emotion in Selphie, just by being himself; he didn't even have to try to cheer her up and often didn't realise when he had, either. Whether he knew it or not, she had come to depend on the short, blonde fighter in more ways than one and she hoped he would always be near to help her laugh away her troubles when it all got too much. Stopping in front of Rinoa's dorm room door, she turned to Zell, bringing her arms up around his neck and pulling him down in a tight hug.

"_Heeeey_, what's this for?"

Selphie relaxed against him and took a deep breath, her friend's sweet smelling hair gel encasing her in a feeling of familiarity and calm.

"For just being you."

"Oh …_ err_, thanks."

"You can go back to Irvine now, and finish off whatever it was you were doing."

"As much as I'm enjoying this, I can't move with you hangin' on my neck."

The brunette girl withdrew her arms and smiled faintly, waving Zell off down the hallway, before tapping on the door in front of her. She knew Rinoa's key code to unlock the entrance, but always made sure she knocked first, just to avoid any embarrassments. An answer came just a few seconds later, with Rinoa wrapped in a towel and looking a little wide eyed.

"_Oh!_ Hello, wasn't expecting you."

The raven haired girl gave out a nervous giggle and looked hastily over her right shoulder, back into her room, seeming reluctant to open the door any further than six inches.

Selphie recognised her behaviour and asked, "Is Squall with you?"

Rinoa nodded, opening the door wider and glancing back at the dozing, semi clad form on her bed. The gunbladist had nodded off in an increasingly uncomfortable looking position, with one arm bent underneath him and his leg twisted at the knee; half falling off the mattress. Selphie peeked in at him and the two girls restrained their laughter, knowing full well that Squall wasn't in the best of moods when woken up.

"Give me half an hour to go have a bath; I'll meet you down at the cafeteria, okay?"

"Okay, _don't_ be late, you know I hate sitting on my own."

"I won't!"

Upon leaving her friend, Selphie contemplated where to go, finally deciding against going back to her empty room in favour of the library.

_Maybe I can catch up on some studying._

Whilst walking past the centre fountain, she heard raised voices coming from the reception entrance, and with curiosity getting the better of her, decided to make her way there instead. Her legs stopped short of her destination when a shrill, deafening voice found its way to her ears, violating her senses.

"I shouldn't even **_BE_** leaving! It's not fair!"

"**_Calm down!_** Stop hitting, you spoiled brat." A deeper voice that Selphie recognised as Seifers came echoing down the hall. She began walking again, yet towards the sounds, not away. Keeping herself out of plain sight, she poked her head around the corner of the entrance and saw Celia standing there, her face a picture of anger and her hands resting defiantly upon her hips. The blonde gunbladist was in front of her, holding both of her wrists in what looked like a painful grasp, the girl still trying to lash out despite being restrained.

"_Get off me!_"

"No, not until you stop hitting."

"I have every right to be angry! **_SHE_** should be going instead of me! She's the loon."

Celia pointed in the direction Selphie was peeping from. Shocked, the brunette whirled around and out of site, thinking that they had seen her. Upon chancing another look, she realised that the fair-haired girl was merely pointing in the general direction away from the entrance near which she stood. With her heart still pounding against her ribcage and adrenalin coursing though her veins; Selphie turned on her heel and walked towards the cafeteria instead of the library, deciding that she was far from the right mood to study in.

Seeing as the lunch hour had just finished for most students, the area was empty, with only a few of the older cadets sitting at the plain, white tables. The lunch lady had put up a sign on the counter telling anyone who might ask that food was no longer being served, so Selphie got a soda from the machine and walked over to an empty table in the far corner. She still had a good fifteen minute wait before her friend would show up to keep her company, so she rest her arms atop the cold table surface and placed her head on them, letting her mind drift to the beautiful dress Rinoa had purchased for her earlier. Remembering how it felt on her body and how attractive it had made her feel for the first time in a while, Selphie formed a smile on her soft, roseate lips, which was also becoming increasingly easy again.

The sudden sound of the cafeteria door creaking open and heavy footfalls upon the linoleum floor startled her somewhat, yet she didn't bother to look up, not even when they dragged out a chair opposite her, letting it screech infuriatingly on the tiles. The person gave her one sharp tap on the top of her head, causing her to sit up rather quickly, only to be met by the arrogant face of Seifer Almasy.

"Taking a nap, short stuff?"

"Get _lost_ Seifer."

"Not very nice today _are we_? Guess I won't give you this then."

The smirking blonde held out a white envelope in his hand with her name scrawled on the front in black ink, waving it closely in front of her face. Selphie leaned away from it and frowned.

"I'm not sure I even want it."

"_Really?_ It's from your bestest friend in the whole of garden."

"What?"

Selphie became wary of the malicious glint in the gunbladist's peacock green eyes, and lunged out to snatch the envelope away, but he was too fast for her and had already pulled it out of reach in a split second.

"Perhaps I should read it out for you?"

"Give it here, Seifer!"

Whilst the petite brunette was still protesting, Seifer swiped open the white encasing, pulling out a folded piece of paper.

"Hm, let's see . . . _To Selphie Tilmitt_-,"

"If you don't give me that right now I'll-,"

"You'll **_what?_** Bite my ankles? **_Shut the hell up and listen to me_**."

"**_NO!_**"

"_To Selphie Tilmitt, you are a fucking ugly bitch_ . . . oh how novel."

"Stop it."

"_I hate you so much, and I hope you fucking slit your wrists and die knowing that no one even gives a shit about you. You're messed up in the head, and the sooner you kill yourself, the better it'll be for everyone around you . . ._ She's really evil . . . oh this is a good bit . . ."

Selphie gritted her teeth and grabbed at the letter, yet Seifer pulled it away again, whilst leaning further back in his chair and placing one arm behind his head and putting one leg up on the table.

"You have _no right_ to read that!Give it to me!"

"Listen to this bit . . . _Irvine doesn't want you, he never did and he never will. He's just fooling with you. He told me he loved me when we fucked every night. What makes you think he'd want to be with you, and touch you like he touched me? You're a fucking deluded nut. The only way he'd do you is if you put a bag over your head. Oh and While your at it, try asphyxiating yourself too. Look! I've invented another way for you to kill yourself. Now go do it . . ._ hah. Celia you old bitch."

Selphie tried desperately to not let the harsh words get to her, tried even harder to stop tears from running down her flushed cheeks, but to no avail. Celia had struck a sore spot in her heart and mind that would always be vulnerable to her evil taunting, no matter how hard she tried to rise above it.

"**_Seifer Almasy_**, what have you done?"

Rinoa's voice rang through the cafeteria, causing the blonde to look up and roll his eyes, before shoving the letter in Selphies half open fist upon the table. She felt her friends arms wrap around her head and cradle it, suddenly reminding her that she was never truly alone, nor ever had to feel that she was without anyone in the world again.

"_Answer me!_ What did you do to Selphie?"

"Just read out that nice little letter there."

The dark haired girl snatched the piece of paper out of Selphie hand and flicked her eyes over the small, scrawled words. She took in enough of the cruel language to realise who it was from in a few seconds.

"_Celia, you bitch_."

"Pity she's not here for you to tell her yourself, but _dear little Selphie_ made it sure that she's never gonna come back."

"Good, _we hate her_, she's a dirty slut."

"That's coming from you, _Miss Squall Leonhart_."

"Seifer, shut up. Why are you never happy unless you've upset someone?"

"Well _shit_, I never though she'd burst out into tears. It's not as if I wrote the damn letter myself."

The tall gunbladist removed his legs from atop the table and pushed out his chair, ready to leave. Rinoa halted him by placing a small hand on his shoulder.

"Apologise now"

"**_Fuck off, witch_**."

He shrugged her off him and pushed past her rather abruptly, causing her to stumble a little before regaining her balance.

"I'm telling Squall! _And _Quistis!" She shouted after him, to which he merely replied with a one fingered, rude gesture, without even stopping or turning around. Rinoa still cradled her friends head against her stomach as she stood, not caring about the sodden patch appearing on her laced, blue vest due to the brunette's tears.

"_Ssh_, he's gone now."

"I know."

Selphie pulled away from the ebony haired girl and brought an arm up to wipe the moisture from her downcast eyes.

"I never meant to start crying. I thought I could be strong, but I guess it's still all too fresh for me to just . . . _forget _about it all."

"Its going to take time for you to heal, of course it is, but we're all still here for you; Quistis, Zell, Squall, Irvine and I. And we're not going anywhere either."

"I know. Thanks. You won't, will you?"  
A puzzled look came across Rinoa's features.

"Won't _what?_"

"Tell Squall and Quisty."

"Not if you don't want me to. It can be our secret."

"Good."

Selphie glanced down at the letter in front of her, folding it in half before ripping it up and not stopping until it was in tiny undistinguishable pieces on the floor. The two girls smiled at each other, before Rinoa announced they should go back to her dorm and have a 'girlie' time.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Place that one over there . . ."Irvine shouted, pointing to a high beam and watching the small junior cadet scurry off and complete his orders. Taking his hat off his head and smoothing down some stray pieces of auburn hair, he took a look down at his dusty clothes. The sharpshooter gave a frown and tried to brush away some of the white marks on his dark khaki, fitted t-shirt.

"I never thought this'd get _so_ messy. I love this top too."

Zell was busy working on something nearby, his hands busy, not stopping to look up at his friend.

"It'll be damn well worth it though and you know it," the short fighter replied through a toothy grin on his mischievous face.

Irvine placed his hat back on his head, shooting the blonde a knowing smile and walking off across the hall, giving out more orders to the eager helpers.

"_Alright_, we've got one hour to finish up and another forty five minutes to be _out _of here, let's get a move on!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

Selphie sat upon Rinoa's soft, quilted bed with one of her friends hands placed atop her bent knee as she carefully applied strokes of nail varnish. It was of deep, midnight blue in colour, with a shine that reflected the light and contrasted with the girls alabaster skin. Smoothing one last coat onto her friends little finger, she breathed a sigh and leaned back with the brush in her hand, admiring her work.

"You didn't smudge it at all!"

"You fidget _loads_ too . . ."

Rinoa's cheeks darkened a shade and she poked her tongue out in response, yet suddenly got a roguish glint in her large, coffee tinged eyes.

"_Let's try on our dresses!_" She squealed out with such fervour that she almost fell off the edge of her bed. Not even waiting for a response, the pale girl hopped up from her seated position and scurried over to her wardrobe, pulling out the dresses from their protective covers.

"We can do our hair up too, and then when we're all done, we'll go and show the guys!"

Rinoa's innocent excitement was infectious and soon both girls were clad in the soft, feminine attire they had purchased earlier.

Fiddling with the bow at the back of her cream, satin dress and hoisting the material sash of the same colour tighter about her waist, Rinoa looked over to see that her brunette friend was piling up her hair and looking in the mirror.

"Are you experimenting?"

Selphie let her hands down, leaving her short hair to tumble and bounce about her shoulders before coming to rest, a few misaligned strands around her face.

"_Trying_ to . . ."

"Let's curl it under, or make it wavy, _y'know_, for a tousled look. I have this little headband with a bow on it; it'd really set it off!"

The brunette walked over to the springy mattress to her right, lowering herself and slumping down with her head in her hands. Rinoa noticed the slight call of distress, so went to kneel down in front of her friend, trying to look at the face beneath the hands.

"Whats up?"

"That letter, it just got me thinking."

The raven haired girl tipped her head to the side, her feathery hair falling over one dark eye.

"_About?_"

"Things."

Selphie felt two small hands come to rest on both of her wrists, then a sudden pull, freeing her features from the little, dark space she was hiding in.

"What do you mean, _'things'_?"

"Irvine. _Me_. I don't know, just stuff I can't seem to make sense of."

"Sometimes, things don't _ever_ make sense, no matter how hard you think about it. You could spend a lifetime wracking your brains wondering why so-and-so did _this_ or _that_, but you _still_ won't find an answer you're satisfied with. Am I right?"

"Spot on. I was wondering why he ever did it in the _first_ place, and the _second_ place-,"

"Well, the _second_ time he . . . upset you, that was because he was _stone drunk_."

"But if he hadn't gone off in the first pl-,"

Rinoa interrupted again, "Lets not get started on all the _'ifs'_ and _'buts'_, that never got anyone anywhere. You've just got to look forward and forget the bits of the past you don't want to remember. _Right?_"

Selphie lowered her gaze onto the floor, before her companion moved herself into her line of vision, a concerned _'no fuss'_ look upon her delicate features.

"_Right?_"

"Right."

The girl swiftly pulled out a chrome pair of curling irons from the drawer under her bed and waved them about in her right hand.

"Curling time!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Irvine and Zell sat on two, plastic seats, side by side in the Grand, main hall, exhausted yet proud of all the work they had done. Looking around and shifting occasionally on the hard, uncomfortable chairs, they realised it'd soon be time for everyone they'd invited to start spilling through the large, oaken doors. Zell leaned back, hoisting his leg up onto his chair and resting one arm on his upraised knee.

"She's gonna be lookin' at you with hearts in her eyes for ages."

"Y'think so?"

"Hey, you _know_ she's gonna love all this, you just want to hear it from other people!"

Irvine grinned, "I know."

"Shouldn't we be getting into our formal gear?"

"Yeah, we're slacking a bit."

"We're entitled to, after all the work we've just done!"

"Let's get a move on then; hopefully, Rinoa's stuck to her half of the plan."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Rinoa slid the Alice band into place on Selphies head, using her finger tips to arrange the soft curls of fawn coloured hair so that they framed her face and made her look radiant. Selphie stood there in her pale yellow, tulle dress looking quite bewildered at the reflection staring back at her. Her friend stood off to the side, brandishing a pair of black, silk pump shoes with white embroidered petals at the closed toe.

"These are mine, they're a size five, but I never wear them. You can have them," she proclaimed with a warm smile.

"Thanks. I thought we were only dressing up though?"

"Well, _err_, we are, but we're going outside to show Squall and the others."

Selphie bent down and slipped the satin mules onto her feet, one by one, revelling in the perfect fit. Moving out of the way of the mirror, Rinoa stepped in front and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail, leaving several, multicoloured tendrils out to rest around her features. Beaming at herself, she spun around and admired the dress she had picked out. The delicate piece of clothing was now teamed with a pair of matching, cream satin shoes, with a small kitten heel at the back.

"Rin, you look lovely."

"_Thanks_, so do you!"

After applying a lengthening mascara to set off their eyes and a sweeping of rose coloured blusher to their cheekbones, they checked each other over and set off out the door. Rinoa turned around once out in the hallway, locking her dorm room with her key code, leaving Selphie to wait patiently. When she looked along the corridor, she didn't expect to see three figures walking down in their direction, lugging along suitcases behind them. The brunette poked her friend in the ribs, who was still fumbling with the keypad lock, having forgotten her unique number so many times.

Selphie felt a tightening in her lungs and a giddiness in her head as the three girls approached. Amber and Nichi gave little more than an uninterested look, before making their way past her and onto their destination, which was obviously Balamb Gardens exit.

Celia, however, stopped and rested her ice blue eyes upon Selphie in a cold hearted manner. By now, Rinoa had looked up; curious as to whom the numerous footsteps belonged to. When she saw the blonde looking at her friend in such a vicious manner, she stepped in closer beside her, interlocking her hand with Selphies.

"_Get lost_, Celia."

"_Fuck off_, _witch_. I wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for that _stupid cow_, _Tilmitt_," she spat out the last word and glared even harder at Selphie.

"Isn't it about time you left?"

The blonde ignored Rinoa, kept her eyes on her enemy and asked, "Did you get my letter? I _do hope_ you'll follow some of the advice."

Before Selphie had time to think, she slipped her hand out of Rinoa's, raised it high and slapped Celia across the right cheek, making her head snap sharply to the side. Rage shone in her eyes when she came back to focus, holding the bright red mark on her face. She lunged for Selphie, her fingers hooked and lashing out for any part of her body she could get. The petite brunette blocked her blows and hooked a foot around her bully's ankle, before yanking her leg slightly up and away; a move she had learnt from Zell a few weeks ago. They both watched the horrible girl make contact with the linoleum floor, a sickening crunch reaching their ears. Rinoa cringed at the noise, but Selphie looked down at her, standing her ground and feeling extremely surprised at her own, brave behaviour.

When Celia looked up, they saw the full damage from the impact. Crimson blood was rushing out of her nose and down her mouth and chest, making its own small river. It was obviously broken due to the way it looked slightly dislodged from its normal position and the way the girl was moaning in pain.

She looked to her left, but her friends had kept on walking, not even stopping to see what the commotion behind them was about. Disappointment showed on her bloody features, yet she refused to give up. Pushing herself up from the ground, she tried to grit her teeth and take a swing at Selphie, but both actions proved too painful and she almost lost her balance again. Rinoa moved around behind Celia and picked up her leather suitcase, thrusting it into the blondes arms.

"I think you've got what you came for. _Go_."

Looking completely defeated with her stained clothes and reddened face, the girl held one hand up to the light, seeing it coated in her sticky blood. With one last crazed attempt, she reached her hand out to try and wipe it on Selphies lemon coloured dress, but she jumped away at the last moment, leaving Celia's hand to swipe at the air.

"**_GO!_**" the brunette shouted, repeating Rinoa's earlier command.

Both friends watched her turn away, her expression crushed and ashamed, yet they kept their guard about them, ready for any last minute tricks she might pull. None came, and she slinked off down the hallway, dragging her suitcase, leaving spatters of blood on the floor where she walked. When Celia was well and truly out of vision and earshot, both girls screeched in delight and clung to each other in a ferocious hug.

"She's_ finally_ gone! They all are! You can forget they _ever _existed!"

Selphie breathed a sigh of relief at her friend's words, yet doubted it'd be that easy to erase them from her memory. They had played too large a part in her life, messed around with too many of her emotions for them to just be gone with a click of someone's fingers. Rinoa sensed her companion's mood becoming melancholy, which was only natural after seeing her tormenters (even if she would never see them again) and knowing what would brighten her right up, she insisted they went to Irvine's dorm.

"Are you sure he'll be there?"

"Yes, even if he's not, he's _bound_ to be in Zells or Squalls."

Fiddling with a loose wisp of her honey highlighted hair; Rinoa linked her unoccupied arm through Selphies and focused her tawny eyes upon her.

"That was a really daring thing you did back there."

"I wasn't really aware of slapping her; it just . . . seemed to _happen_."

"Are you junctioned?"

"With what?"

"Your G.F."

"Oh, yes, why?"

"I learnt from Edea, that sometimes, they can actually _force _actions if they think it's the right thing to do."

"Wow, I didn't know that. Maybe that's what happened."

"You know what _I_ think?"

"What?"

"I think it was _ALL_ you, you spunky lil' thing."

Selphie smiled and came to a halt outside Irvine's door. Before raising her hand up to knock, she asked Rinoa how she looked.

"You look _gorgeous_. What about me?" The charcoal haired girl gave a twirl on the spot, her elegant, loose ponytail spinning around as she did.

"_Absolutely great!_"

After a singular tap, the door in front of them opened up to reveal three young men and one blonde instructor in smart, formal attire. Before Selphie had time to ask any questions, Irvine took hold of her right hand and brought her body close into a hug, whispering how beautiful she looked into her ear. She returned the cuddle without any hesitation, yet she was still quite bewildered as to what was going on. Irvine's familiar, comforting scent soon made her give up trying to figure out what her friends were up to, and instead she stepped as close to him as her body would allow, nestled her face into his shirt collar and inhaled deeply. She could hear the rest of her friends talking; too relaxed to concentrate on what they were saying, until Rinoa shrieked out that they were expected to be somewhere and that it was rude to keep people waiting.

Selphies curiosity began to peak again, so as they all began walking out of the room and down the corridor, she turned to Irvine, swinging their clasped hands to and fro as she spoke.

"Whats going on?"  
The sharpshooter looked down to see viridian green eyes gazing up at him through long, dark lashes. The sight almost took his breath away.

"You'll have to wait and see."

Not having been any good at waiting, even if only for a few seconds, she huffed out a breath of air and pouted in disappointment.

"Well, where are you all _leading_ me?"

Selphies questions were all answered in a split second when Quistis and Zell pushed open the large, wooden double doors to the main event hall and ushered her inside.

Dusky, roseate light hit her eyes when she entered; the décor around her was overwhelmingly beautiful and contrasted softly with every little detail in the room. Lifting her head, she focused on the large banner hanging down from the ceiling beams. It read '_We love you, Sef!_' painted artistically in calligraphic, lilac lettering with a pure white background adorned with deep purple ribbons. All around the room hung various flowers; lilies, roses, daffodils, dahlias, tulips and sunflowers. Off to the sides, draping from each of the arched walls, were silver, star shaped banners portraying something of which she couldn't see when this far away, but it seemed to be some sort of imagery and text. Buffet tables stood off to the side, with a diverse choice of finger foods and drinks on each. The silken table cloths atop of which the food stood were again of a lavender colour, with criss-crosses of large daisy chains around each, dangling almost to the floor. Chains of blossoming flowers, intricately woven together also adorned the banisters to the large staircase that lead from the upper level, straight down onto the ballroom floor. Due to all the flora, the hall had taken on a divine, exotic scent, which only added to the visual effects of the dim lighting and beautiful decorations, along with the soft sounds of instrumental music coming from one of the Gardens student bands.

"Sorry we couldn't afford a proper band-,"

"This . . . _this is wonderful_ . . . Is it for me?"  
Irvine tapped the tip of her nose with one finger, "Of _course_ it is, don't be so daft."

Selphies cheeks coloured a shade darker when she noticed that almost everyone in the room had turned the watch the group. Some of the people she knew, some she had only spoken to occasionally and didn't know very well, but she didn't catch sight of anyone she despised. Feeling uneasy with all the eyes on her, she held her hand up and gave a little wave, but then instantly felt foolish and began to blush again. Beside her, Zell wrapped an arm around her neck, instantly saving the situation by screaming out; "**_WOO SELPHIES BACK!_**"

Half of the hall either clapped, laughed or gave out energetic woops of their own to rival the blonde's loud voice. After that, most of the people there settled down to what they were doing before Selphies arrival; be it dancing, mingling or just generally having fun.

Stunned as she was by it all, she managed to squeak out her approval and thanks, asking who had gone through all this trouble for her. Zell immediately spoke up, never one to pass on being praised.

"It was me an' Irv! Well, _he_ came up with the whole idea, but I helped out! _So _. . . you like it?"

"_Of course_ I do, you _dope_! Come here."

Selphie pulled the blonde into her arms for a hug, looking over her shoulder and beckoning Irvine to join as well. Instead of coming around to the side and stepping into her free open arm, he approached her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her body tight against him. The brunette felt as if she could stay like this forever; being cradled by two of her friends' strong physiques and feeling as if she didn't have a single worry in the entire world. She let her head tumble forward and rest upon Zells shoulder. He smelt of washing powder and fresh ironing, probably thanks to his Ma cleaning and airing his tux beforehand. Selphie felt the swift turn of his head and, being curious as to what he was looking at, followed his gaze across the room. The object he appeared to be locked onto was Anna, the studious little bookworm who usually resided in the library in her free time. She radiated a coy sort of aura, yet looked beautiful dressed in her pale lilac, off the shoulder gown, which reached down past her knees.

Without saying a word, Selphie let her arms fall from around the martial artist, instead having them push him in Anna's direction. Zell gave the brunette an uncomfortable sort of smile, before allowing himself to go to her.

"I don't know why he's still so nervous around her," Irvine piped up, once the blonde was out of audible range.

Selphie looked up at the cowboy behind her, before turning in his arms, so that they were both front to front.

"I used to be nervous around you, when we first met."

"But he's known her for _at least_ a year now, even if they didn't speak to each other for a good three quarters of it."

"Oh, leave him alone!"  
Irvine suppressed a laugh at his friend's unfortunate nerves when it came to the female of the species and scanned the room, looking for the rest of his companions, for they seemed to have wandered off some minutes ago. Selphie, however, spotted someone she hadn't been expecting to see that night.

"_Shani!_"

"Sel! I've missed you so much!"

"Me too. . ."

Once again, Selphie was overcome with mixed emotions, yet overtly happy to see her old Trabian friend. She let go of Irvine and moved closer to Shani, who bundled her up in a big hug.

"Trabia's been empty without you. Our old dorm caught fire, so I had to move into another one."

"How did that happen?"

"I left the iron on top of my SeeD uniform, but _shh_ because no ones knows."

"Still forgetful then?"

"Yup."

The Trabian girl looked about the Grande hall and absentmindedly flicked her long, deep hazel hair behind her back.

"You look lovely, Shani."

"_This _old thing? It's not even mine; it was my mothers, when she was our age," she looked down at herself, twisting her ankle to the right and splaying out the sides of her dress, which was of the deepest, midnight blue and shimmered with every movement.

"But you look nice too. Kinda like a _big_ lemon meringue pie."

Shani sniggered behind her hand at her own description of Selphie, before getting a light whack on the arm for sharing her thoughts.

Irvine also appeared to be thoroughly amused, though more so about how the girls acted together. He could see why they were such good friends. Shani turned her attention to him, so he raised a hand in a friendly wave before shoving it back into the pocket of his trousers. She smiled, before leaning into Selphie and whispering something too quietly for him to hear, the laughter that soon followed making him increasingly uncomfortable.

"Ooh, who's that blonde guy over by the band? He's_ tall_ . . . and handsome to boot!"

_Blonde, handsome? Zell . . . but tall? . . . . . Seifer._

"Who invited him? Irvine, _why_-,"

"Just . . . talk to Quistis, okay? Don't worry about _anythin'_ tonight."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Seifer, I_ told_ you-,"

"Don't fuckin' nag me, alright!"

"And don't you _bloody_ swear at me, Almasy."

"_Instructor_. You break my heart."

"I'll be breaking more than that if you don't get your arse over to her and apologise!"

"What, straight away?"

"Yes," Quistis folded her arms over her chest, a stern expression on her porcelain face, cerulean eyes meeting with jade green ones.

"Now?"

"_Yes!_"

"Can't we just . . ."

Seifer trailed off and moved up closer to the blonde, lowering his head and placing soft lips upon her exposed neck. Quistis was having none of it, and swiftly pushed him away, denying herself of all feelings, however good, until Seifer had done what she'd told him to do.

"_Stop it_ . . ."

"But you look so good."

Quistis did indeed look good. Her dress consisted of a shimmering, silken fabric, deep emerald green in shade, with a low, square neck line and small, cap sleeves. The length extended just past her knees, with a black, frilly chiffon underlay that could be seen two inches under the main framework.

She seemed immune to Seifers flattery and with one almighty push upon his back, she managed to set him off on his way.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Selphie was sitting alone at one of the few empty tables near the buffet, waiting for Irvine to return from the punch bowl when she saw all six foot two inches of Seifer Almasy stalking towards her, with a somewhat displeased look gracing his features. The brunette didn't know why he seemed to be heading in her direction, but she did know she didn't want to stay put. Getting up swiftly and swinging her tulle dress off from the seat of the chair, she focused her eyes on Irvine, who had his back to her, preparing to go to him just as Seifer signalled her to stop.

She wasn't sure why she actually complied, something in his voice made her; a hint of sincerity, definitely not his usually gruff, sardonic tone.

"Don't run away or . . . _squeal_ or anythin', okay?"

"I'm not going to, although I _should_, given your past behaviour to me," Selphie retorted, her arms now crossed tightly just beneath her chest and her lips drawn together in a thin line.

The blonde in front of her made an undistinguishable noise, before glancing over his shoulder and looking around the room for someone. To him, Quistis seemed to have vanished, but unbeknownst to the two, she was watching from a fine vantage point on the small upper floor above them. Though she couldn't hear their conversation, she made sure that she observed Seifers lips closely, having always been rather good at lip reading.

"Yeah . . . I wanted to . . . say . . . _sorry_."  
Once again, Seifer looked around the room, frowning slightly, obviously having trouble with apologising, what with it not having been part of his nature for so long.

_I'm only doing this once, Trepe. You betta be watching._

Turning back to the petite brunette, he noticed that the scowl on her face had softened and she hand uncrossed her arms and replaced them to rest on her hips.

_If she wasn't so small and irritating, I could actually grow to like her._

"Anyway . . . yeah, _so_ . . . sorry for all the stuff I've done. Like . . . at the beach . . . . and earlier, when I read that letter out loud. . ._ But_, what can I say? I'm a jerk."

The tall gunbladist started to walk away with his back to her, _still_ scanning the room for a certain blonde instructor.

"Seifer . . ."  
Hearing Selphies soft voice, he stopped for a few moments, yet didn't turn to face her or say anything in response; he just listened.

"You're not so bad."

She could've sworn she'd heard a mumble of _'neither are you'_ as he walked away.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Did you see that?"

"What?"  
Rinoa nuzzled her head into her boyfriend's neck where they stood at the side of the hall, leaning against the wall and pawing over the posters Zell and Irvine had made.

"_Seifer_."  
Squall creased his eyebrows together in a disapproving manner; it happened to be an unshakeable habit that occurred whenever he heard the overconfident blondes name spoken, especially from Rinoa's lips. His eyes seemed to have gone a shade darker, slate grey in colour as he looked around the room, visibly clenching his teeth. That was, until he felt a pair of dainty hands upon his mouth.

"Come on, _grumps!_ Don't be like that!"

The two index fingers tugged at the sides of his lips, trying and failing to form some sort of smile on the stoic males face. Gently but firmly, he seized Rinoa's wrists, pulling her hands away from anything that could be poked or prodded and held them in a cupped position in his own. She gazed up at him and gave him a devious smile, her cheeks awash with a natural glow and her chocolate brown eyes glittering intensely with mischief. Before he could say anything, the petite girl had slipped out of his grasp and was now walking away from him with an almost hypnotic sway to her hips, causing the bustle bow at the back of her dress to shimmy with the movements. It wasn't the first time he'd been left standing by her and he let slip a slight smile at the memory of their first meeting in the very same hall. Though Squall appeared to be staring in the direction of Rinoa, he was in fact, daydreaming, therefore didn't see the girl frantically waving her arm in a signal to come and join her. Someone sounding suspiciously like one hyperactive, blonde martial artist shouted out his name over the din of the music. Keeping his head down and letting his ashen hair fall over his eyes, he strode across the floor and over to where his friends seemed to be congregating.

Quistis, Rinoa and Selphie were huddled around one of the many posters that had been placed around the room at eye level, whilst Irvine stood beside Selphie and Zell flittered back and forth between all five. Squall, curious as to what the girls were getting so excited about, moved in closer and gazed at what appeared to be a photographic collage. The numerous pictures stuck down, carefully arranged and laminated were of them all; sometimes in a group, alone, or in two's. There were even old pictures from their orphanage days, that Zell and Irvine had persuaded Edea to lend them, with much reluctance on her half.

"_Aw_, Selphie look how _tiny_ you are in this one! You must've only been about three years old! What were you doing?"  
Selphie looked close at the photo that Rinoa was so excited about and tried hard to conjure up old memories, lost from years of Guardian force usage.

"I . . . I'm not _too_ sure, but I think I was about to cry-,"

"That's because Seifer kicked over your sandcastle, then told Edea _you'd_ done it yourself, resulting in you being sent to bed for being destructive," Irvine interrupted.

The brunette turned around to face the young man leaning on one of the marble pillars, off to her right.

"You can remember that?"

"_Yup_. I guess I'm just smarter than you lot," he replied jokingly, tapping a finger to the side of his forehead. Selphie smiled, before looking back to the poster, focusing on a large group picture that Quistis was pointing at.

The weather in the background looked sunny, yet breezy due to everyone's hair (except Zells) being blown about, and Selphie recognised it as they day they had all gone down to one of the local beaches. She couldn't remember who'd taken it, since all of her friends seemed to be in the picture. She couldn't remember much at all of that day, apart from escaping an attempted drowning. Clenching her eyes shut in a tight, almost painful manner, Selphie blocked out the photo in front of her face. She hoped the memories would go away, would be stolen from her mind by the clutches of her GF; but no such moment came. They didn't vanish; they stayed.

Until someone lay a large yet gentle hand upon her shoulder, taking her into their arms without a single word and wrapping her up in a heartfelt embrace.

Selphie knew immediately that it was Irvine, although Zell could easily have done the same if he weren't so excited and oblivious to everything going on around him at the moment. She was glad it was the sharpshooter. While Zell was one of her dearest friends, she shared a different sort of bond and companionship with Irvine, one of which she'd experienced with no one else. He could calm her down with a well placed look or a single touch of his hand. He made her feel wanted, and that's something she hadn't felt in a long time.

Irvine bent his neck slightly and whispered through her hair, "Do you want to go somewhere a bit quieter?"

She nodded her head in a weak answer, not trusting herself to speak for fear of a lump forming in her throat. With his arm resting about her waist, he mumbled an excuse to the rest of their friends and led Selphie off somewhere she couldn't see, due to her head still being down, not wanting to look up because she refused to ruin everyone's evening by looking sad. When the boisterous clamour of people seemed to fade out, she lifted her head, brushing her waved hair away from cheerless eyes and looked around. Irvine had taken her to the second floor balcony, where it was windy yet not at all cold, just another balmy Balamb night. Even so, Irvine took off his dark blue suit jacket and placed it around her shoulders, laughing at the dear sight of her standing there in an article of clothing that was at least three times too big, swamping her delicate form. Selphie appeared to ignore him, or was too caught up in her own mind to notice much going on around her. So, he called her name.

She looked up then, eyes all vivid green and wide, yet still holding a melancholy that he wished he could kiss away. But, things only worked that way in children's fairy tales, filled with princesses and knights and evil dragons; it was much harder to pull someone back from the brink in real life.

"You really _do_ look beautiful tonight."

"I'm so sorry," the brunette suddenly exclaimed with some urgency in her voice.

"For what?" Irvine stepped closer to her, taking her soft hands in his own and cradling them.

"Because I've gone and _ruined_ it all!" Selphie tugged away from him, his blue jacket falling off from around her slim shoulders as she placed her arms on the balconies stone railings, looking wistfully out at the stormy ocean, longing to be lost in the shadowy horizon.

The auburn haired sharpshooter looked down at the piece of clothing on the floor, not caring if it had gotten soiled or crumpled in the fall, and stepped over it, once again closing in on the small girl.

"What have you ruined?" He spoke softly, making sure not to touch her, sensing that she seemed riled up and fit to burst into either floods of tears or a slapping frenzy.

"_Everything!_ You went to all this trouble for me, to try and make me happy, but I have to be an _ungrateful bitch_ and go and remember things that I wish I could just _cut out _of me!"

Irvine frowned at the double meaning of her words, not knowing if it was intentional or accidental, yet too tactful in his ways to ask her what she'd meant.

"I_ always_ do this! Maybe Celia was right; people _DO_ hate me, I'm pathetic and you'd be better off if you weren't my friend _AT ALL!_" Selphie seemed to let herself flop, slowly sinking down, the wide tutu of her dress splaying out around her legs and hiding her feet beneath her as she finally collided with the cold floor none too gently. She still had her back to Irvine and was holding on weakly to the small pillars under the waist-sized railing, looking out as if she were in prison, behind bars. He sat with her too, resting himself a little more delicately than she had, and turning to view her side profile, only to find that it was, once again, obstructed by hair. He reached out with his left hand and brushed it aside, running his finger through the curls before resting his arm on his up-bent knee.

"You shouldn't say things like that."

Selphie continued staring out with glassy eyes at the swirling patterns the ocean made, listening but not saying anything.

"All these people that came here tonight, they turned up because they _love_ your personality. They_ love_ who you are and care about what happens to you. If you were hated, do you _really _think anyone would've shown up?"

_He has a point._

Shifting her position, she let her hands fall from the barriers and lifted her head slightly, turning her body so that she faced the man to the side of her, the tulle netting of her dress rustling at the movement. A corner of Irvines mouth titled up in a smile when she finally looked him in his magenta tinged eyes. Instinctively, she reached up to the silver locket set with an emerald that hung around her neck; the very same one that the cowboy had given her on the night of the last dance that'd been held. She ran her index finger across the engraved phrase of _'I Love You'_ at the back, reassurance gradually pushing out the sadness that had come over her, only moments ago. Still holding the locket in her palm, Selphie turned her head again, gazing back out to the sea surrounding the sleepy town, following each wave that crashed against the rocks of the shore, throwing up sprays of white foam in the air, only to fall back down into the water and vanish.

As she watched, Irvine studied her peaches and cream complexion, letting his eyes skim over every feature on her face. She bit her bottom lip slightly as she watched the dark night, drawing his attention to the tempting, full pout as she released it again. Her lips were pink and soft, like the petals of a flower and formed perfectly. She kissed with a slight inexperience and innocence, which made it all the more wonderful in Irvine's opinion. He let his eyes rest on her perfect, little button nose, resisting an urge to reach out and give it a playful pinch, as he had done so many times before. Selphie altered the position in which she was sitting in again, changing his view as she moved to face him. This time, it was her looking at him, remember all the times they'd spent together, sometimes ending up kissing in each others arms. She blushed at the though, yet didn't turn away from the sharpshooter in front of her. Selphie could still hear eruptions of noise leaking through from the Grande hall behind them, no doubt coming from people who were having fun, pulling pranks, dancing and chatting. Just as she was about to open her mouth and suggest they go back inside, Irvine interrupted her.

"Why are we still friends?"

"_Huh?_"

Irvine moved closer to her and snaked an arm around her waist, "Well shouldn't we be _more_ than friends?"

"We are . . . kinda . . . _err_," suddenly feeling very awkward and unsure of what to say, the brunette tore her eyes away from the face moving ever closer to her own. With his lips only inches away from hers, he asked; "Do you want to make more of it?"

Flustered, Selphie resisted the urge to scoot back a little bit and instead took a deep breath. "_What?_"

Irvine lifted one of his hands up and stroked the side of her face, running it down and around her neck, curling his fingers up and playing with the silky hair at the nape.

"Do you want to start a relationship with me?" He whispered, close to her ear.

"You mean . . . be your _girlfriend?_"

Irvine smiled at the innocence and shock in her voice, "That's what I meant."

The petite girl suddenly enclosed him in a fierce kiss, clinging tightly on to his neck and knocking him down onto the hard, stone floor, taking him off guard. He soon became immersed in what she was doing with her tongue and returned the gesture, placing his arms around her waist and pulling her close against him. It was deep and intense, different in meaning from other kisses they'd shared; it was a good few minutes before either one pulled away.

"That was a good _'yes'_," Irvine joked, standing up and pulling Selphie with him. She stood there, taking one last look at the stars reflecting off the water below, smiling and seemingly in a world of her own.

"You really mean it though?"

"Of_ course_ I do!"

Bending down, he picked his jacket up from the floor, shaking it off a few times, before reaching out for Selphie and locking his hand with hers.

"Come on beautiful, they'll be wonderin' where you've got to."

Almost as soon as Irvine had spoken, Zell came tumbling through to the balcony, with a large grin on his face.

"Hey, Rinoa's looking for you guys. She wants some sort of _commemorem _. . ."

"Commemorative," Irvine corrected.

"Yeah, some sort of _what-you-said_ photo done, so we can all remember when we're old and wrinkly and stuff."

Selphie looked up at Irvine, sniggering, "I don't think _we'll_ be forgetting any time soon."

"Huh?" Zell looked lost.

"We're a couple."

"_Huh?_"

"As in _girlfriend-boyfriend_, Zell."

"_OH!_ Hey, that's wicked!" The blonde martial artist sent a wink in the sharpshooter's direction, who just rolled his eyes and gave back an odd sort of smile.

"Come on then, _couple_, or Rinoa will go all _sorceress _on our arses."

Upon re-entering the enormous, decorated hall, the three saw that Rinoa and Quistis had already gotten most of the guests arranged two vertical lines, one of which was standing and the other sitting on the floor in a sort of half-semicircular shape.

"_Sef, Irvine, Zell!_ I want you on the floor in the middle next to Squall and Seifer!" The ebony haired girl shouted out.

"Are they next to each other for comical value?"

"_No_, Zell. I thought it'd be nice, because you know, you all grew up together."

The blonde let out a snorting, mocking laugh and pointed over to where Seifer was, making sure he saw. Rinoa smacked his finger down and gave him a stern look.

"_Ow!_"

"Behave or I'll put _you_ next to him!"

"Where am I going?"

"Next to Squall, and Selphie and Irvine, you go in the middle somewhere."

As the two males sloped off by orders of Rinoa, Selphie turned to her friend.

"You and Squall aren't the only couple in the group now."

It took a few seconds for things to click into place in the girls mind, but once they did, her chesnut coloured eyes lit up and she gave Selphie a quick hug.

"That's _so _cute!"

Watching her friend fiddling with the tripod set up camera in front of her, she asked, "Are you having some trouble?"

"_Oh_, I can't seem to find the ten second auto-photo thingy."

Selphie looked at the device and pushed a small, silver button on the side of it and looked at the digital screen, quickly positioning it so everyone was in the frame, whilst Rinoa was flapping her arms off to her right.

"Hurry, _hurry!_ We need to go sit down!"

"Its on fifteen seconds and set to four photos. You can never be too careful when Zell, Squall and Seifer are all near each other."

Laughing as they both rushed over to the group of people, they sat themselves down; Rinoa half on Squalls lap, and Selphie on Irvines. Just before the first flash went off, Seifer mumbled _'chicken'_ and gave Zell the finger, causing the martial artist to lunge across Squall and Rinoa. The impact knocked her off the lap she was cautiously perched on, causing her to end up sprawled across Seifer, whilst Zell was still trying to swipe him.

"**_Stop it!_**" Rinoa screamed, pushing herself up from the wrong gunbladist's lap and accidentally pushing her hand into his crotch, earning herself a warning look from both Squall and the blonde.

"The second photo! _Zell_, stop it, sit down!"

"He _is_ sitting down; maybe if you'd get your _hand_ out from _Seifers_ crotch we could get a good picture." The brunette gunbladist said, staring blankly at Rinoa.

"Perhaps she just prefers _mine_ to yours, Leonhart."

The flare of the camera flashing was taken no notice of as, this time, Squall pulled Rinoa out of the way and reached out violently to grab hold of Seifer, but the ungainly blonde moved out of the way, leaning back a little too far and ending up with his head in Selphies breasts.

"_Oaf!_" She gasped and pushed him back towards his enemy. The rest of the garden students in the back line were either laughing or try to encourage more kafuffle, much to Rinoa's dismay. By the time the third photograph was coming up, everyone was back in place and although not everybody was smiling, it was a near perfect picture. After that one was done, Zell threw an idle threat in Seifers direction, again causing more ruckus between the two.

During all the commotion, no one noticed the newly found couple sneaking off and out the side door. Selphie was in the lead, running down the entry way away from the hall, her large, puffy dress flouncing about her legs and her hair trailing behind her in light, hazelnut curls. Irvine was behind her and they were both laughing, together at the same time, which hadn't occurred for a while. The brunette stopped by the side of the centre-piece fountain, still giggling and trying to catch her breath.

"Do you think Rinoa will be mad?" A mischievous glint appeared in her eyes, making them shine like peridots.

"I _hope_ so. She's funny when she gets mad."

"But she takes it out on Squall."

"That why it's funny."

As Irvine went to sit down on the marble edge of the fountain, he noticed that his girlfriend had gotten a distinctively naughty look upon her delicate features. He hadn't seen that expression on her for a while, the first time being when they were very young, and she had launched her ice cream cone into his face. Edea had told her not to be so wasteful, but she had only gone and done it twice more after that. Irvine chuckled at the memory, only to be question by a curious Selphie.

"What're _you_ laughing at?"

"You."  
Instantaneously, she placed her little hand over his face and pushed him backwards. He felt himself tumbling and tried to grab onto something to stop from falling, but he only got a handful of air as he splashed down into the icy water a few inches below. It sent a shock up his spine that went all the way to his brain, ridding him of any sleepiness he may have had prior to the dunk. Even though the water wasn't deep enough for one to submerge themselves in, Irvine had somehow gotten his hair wet and the whole of his suit, and was now sitting up in the water, tangles of auburn around his glowering face.

Selphie was standing off to the side, still on dry ground, with her hands behind her back, giggling and swaying a little from side to side.

"_Selphie Tilmitt_ . . ." He put on a mock-angry voice, though she wasn't to know. "Come _here_, now."

On seeing his reaction, the brunette's laughter died down, ending in a clearing of her throat as she foolishly stepped nearer to the side of the fountain. When she was close enough, with Irvine keeping up the stern act, he brought his hand quickly out of the water and flung it in her direction. Whilst Selphie was still in the initial shock of this action, he grabbed her outstretched arm and pulled hard so that she tripped over the edge and splashed into the fountain like he had. Irvine made sure that she landed in his lap so she didn't take a bump from the hard flooring of the water feature, despite that, she still looked rather disgruntled.

"_Irvine!_ I can't _believe_ you . . . look at my dress!"

He gazed at the soaked bodice of her tulle outfit, and the undone waves of her hair, slowly going limp through being damp, before letting out a laugh that carried through the whole middle section of garden. Selphie thought how silly they must both look, sat in the middle of a water fountain, with one sharpshooter laughing manically, and this got her started too. She laughed so much and so hard that her cheeks were beginning to ache with pain, so she tried to stop herself from grinning by holding them down, the odd face causing Irvine to split his sides all the more. He loved hearing her giggle, simply because she hadn't done it for so long. It was only ever a forced, superficial smile, and now, seeing her so happy at this moment in time made his year.

"Come on beautiful, let's go and get dried up. We can't sit here like a pair of halfwits all night."

Selphie nodded and Irvine lifted her by the waist out of the cold water, which no longer seemed so chilly after being in it a good few minutes.

"_Eurgh_, my shoes feel all wet."

"Well, we were just in water, _genius_," Irvine teased, swinging his legs up and over the barrier, one by one.

"Oh _ha ha_. I feel gross now. My knickers are clinging to me, it feels _horrible_."

"I could take care of them for you," he fully expected a slap to his arm, but when none came he looked over to where she stood. She had her arms crossed over her chest, yet he could see her trying and failing to hide a smile that was slowly growing on her face.

"Come on then."

"_Huh?_"

"I meant, let's go back to your dorm to dry off, _perv!_"

Irvine shrugged, "I_ am_ a guy, what did you expect me to think? And your _boyfriend_, may I add?"

"Yes you may."

They began walking hand in hand, heading in the direction of the dormitory hallways, leaving small puddles of water behind them, the squelching of their shoes not going unrecognised. Selphie looked down at the tiled floor going past as they moved, thinking, before looking up again and stopping. "Thank you."

She had said it in such a small voice that Irvine couldn't really be sure if she had even spoken.

"Pardon?"

"Thank you."

"For _what?_"

"Coming back to me."

The auburn haired teen felt a lump growing in his throat, remembering that all that had happened between them was his fault in the first place, so he hugged her, hoping that he wouldn't start to cry. The lump was growing ever bigger the more he thought about all the crap he'd put her through in the past few months. Selphie pulled away, wanting to speak again.

"I'm just glad that you were finally there for me."

Irvine felt suddenly angry at himself, an occurrence that was becoming more frequent for him. "You should _hate_ me for what I did to our friendship, God knows I deserve it."

Selphie cast her eyes down, wringing her hands together, not wanting memories to re-surface again. "That's . . . all in the past now."

"Selphie? Please, don't ever do _this_," he ran his fingers along her scarred arm, "again, okay?"

" . . . I won't. I mean, I don't have a _reason_ to now. It's going to get better, _right?_"

She looked up at him with such hope in her emerald green eyes that it went straight to his heart.

"Of _course_ it will. I'm never going to leave you. _Ever_. We're going to last forever."

"I hope so."

"I _know_ so. We'll work through everything. If anything's _ever_ worrying you, I'll sort if out. If you ever feel sad, I'll be here to hold you and make it all better. You _never_ have to feel alone."

"Thank you." It was barely more than a whisper, but he heard her.

And there they stood, soaking wet, clothes uncomfortable, puddles pooling about their feet; but they were happy and this time, it was going to last. Stepping into Irvines dorm, they shut out what people thought of them, and closed the door to their old past, ready to start a future together; this time, with no one else to get in the way.

------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------

----------------

**_A/n: Well, that's it. The end! This chapter was 12,543 words long, which is my best yet. I'd like to say thank you to absolutely everyone who reviewed, even all the anonymous ones. It really made my day seeing people actually reading my story, and I hope that the seriousness of issues contained within has gotten through. If you do suffer from self harming issues or are being bullied, please don't ever feel like you have to be alone; talk to someone. It makes a world of difference, trust me._**

**_I won't be doing an epilogue for this story, because I didn't give it a prologue in the beginning, so it'd be a bit out of place. Also Ifeel I have done all that needs to be done. In the future, there may even be a sequel to it. My next story is currently in the works, it'll be a Zell/Selphie. A twisted one. I never do super happy fluff-fluff stories. Angst ahoy! Anyway, look out for it, won't you!_**

_**And thanks again for all your reviews.**_

_**x-x-x**_


End file.
